Regaining Confidence

[They Adam Bradley]

I was just watching some of the Ric Flair interviews he did in recent years and he talks about how when he returned to the WWE, he had lost all his confidence in himself and he was down for a long time about it.. Which got me thinking I use to be very confident in myself and it always showed in many situations ( work, woman, socializing etc) but after a hard breakup 15 months ago, I find myself with 0 confidence in myself.

Ive never been the hottest guy ever, nor the ugliest but never had a problem with woman or making friends, but now when i see myself or find myself in a situation to put myself out there, I deny it. I dont even bother with girls anymore, and the couple times I could have, i choke and it doesnt bother me. I have gained a little weight, and I feel like im some fat blob and I cant even look at myself in the mirror. I have a job where i work nonstop, and its hard to socialize and when I do have a free dya im always tired or busy catching up on things around my house.

I have 0 confidence in myself, im somewhat shy around girl, have no idea how to use my charm anymore and I find it hard to even find motovation to "try" anymore..Im almost positive all this relates back to getting hurt really bad by my ex, but what are some steps I can do to try to regain my "swagger"? Has anyone else been in a situation like this? I use to be so good with making girls laugh and enjoy my company, now im qiuet and awkard and it doesnt even bother me, but i dont wanna be like this forever!

[They Adam Bradley]

Ive had a couple people tyr to set me up on blind dates, or the whole friend of friends thing and i always deny because I feel like she wont like me! I use to NEVER be this way

[rapidfire187]

I'm not sure because I'm kind of going through the same thing. I tried to just convince myself that I had tons of confidence, and it actually worked for a while...at least in terms of helping me act confident. I was able to talk to women, had a high level of self efficacy and whatnot...but I think it hurt more than it helped because after failing over and over and over again it's hard to convince yourself that you can do anything right at all. So I think confidence isn't the problem after all in my situation.

So the best advice I can give you is to try to identify the real problem. If you can eliminate whatever it is that's screwing you up in every other aspect, the confidence should come naturally.

[They Adam Bradley]

i think maybe there more to it than that... my job is lame, i never know if im going to get paid weekly, like im suppose to..Its hard to explain, like im not sad or depressed or anything but i jsut dont have any confidence in my self at all anymore