Post by Burst on Feb 14, 2012 21:35:51 GMT -5
...Yet somehow I'm still set on a course to head that way.
I mean, that would assume I get accepted in the first place, but depending on how I did on my second MCAT and if I can get at least a B and C (ideally a B & B) in my only two current classes, organic chemistry and physics, I should at least be able to get into a Caribbean school. So I really suppose I could, if I wanted to. A B in organic chemistry last fall is decent, relatively speaking.
But I'm still not really sure that's what I want to do. Too often when I'm stressed, my mind runs on a repeating track of "I don't want to be a doctor" while I work at not accomplishing anything while worrying.
I dunno. This is just an odd vent topic while I muse about being increasingly entrenched on a path towards something I'm still not really sure I want just because I feel like I've gotten too far in and I don't really have any choices if I back out.
As much as I'd like to.
My parents are both approaching retirement age and they said they're waiting 'til I'm on my own feet to retire, which they're assuming will be the four years til I start residency, which matches up with their plans to retire anyway. If I screw around and decide I don't want to be a doctor anymore, I'd be messing them up and I really love my parents almost to a fault and wouldn't want to mess them up like that.
I'm 24, I've already blown two years since my bachelor's that I could've used to get an MA or MFA by now, or otherwise done something other than go back to school in my hometown as a complete outsider and drudge my way through medschool prereqs.
I'm not happy. Not even wrestling has been helping my spirits lately, yet I've been too busy bottling it up. I present the illusion that I'm happy with the way things are going because hey, it sounds good, and I feel like I'm surrounded by too many dysfunctional people as it is and I don't want to be Yet Another Troubled Young Adult On The Internet, but it looks like I might be.
I'm very good at lying to myself.
You don't have to reply to this; I just needed someplace to vent and I have the least comparative investment in my facade here vs, well, Facebook or anywhere else, so... Eh.
I mean, that would assume I get accepted in the first place, but depending on how I did on my second MCAT and if I can get at least a B and C (ideally a B & B) in my only two current classes, organic chemistry and physics, I should at least be able to get into a Caribbean school. So I really suppose I could, if I wanted to. A B in organic chemistry last fall is decent, relatively speaking.
But I'm still not really sure that's what I want to do. Too often when I'm stressed, my mind runs on a repeating track of "I don't want to be a doctor" while I work at not accomplishing anything while worrying.
I dunno. This is just an odd vent topic while I muse about being increasingly entrenched on a path towards something I'm still not really sure I want just because I feel like I've gotten too far in and I don't really have any choices if I back out.
As much as I'd like to.
My parents are both approaching retirement age and they said they're waiting 'til I'm on my own feet to retire, which they're assuming will be the four years til I start residency, which matches up with their plans to retire anyway. If I screw around and decide I don't want to be a doctor anymore, I'd be messing them up and I really love my parents almost to a fault and wouldn't want to mess them up like that.
I'm 24, I've already blown two years since my bachelor's that I could've used to get an MA or MFA by now, or otherwise done something other than go back to school in my hometown as a complete outsider and drudge my way through medschool prereqs.
I'm not happy. Not even wrestling has been helping my spirits lately, yet I've been too busy bottling it up. I present the illusion that I'm happy with the way things are going because hey, it sounds good, and I feel like I'm surrounded by too many dysfunctional people as it is and I don't want to be Yet Another Troubled Young Adult On The Internet, but it looks like I might be.
I'm very good at lying to myself.
You don't have to reply to this; I just needed someplace to vent and I have the least comparative investment in my facade here vs, well, Facebook or anywhere else, so... Eh.