Post by angryfan on Oct 12, 2011 10:27:09 GMT -5
Been meaning to do one, and to lighten the mood figured I'd roll one out this morning. Just some light hearted fun.
(scene opens with HHH and Steph in a large corner office at Titan Towers)
HHH: Finally, I get a nice big office, it took long enough.
Steph: (rolling her eyes) For the last time, Hunter, this isn’t your office, it’s my office, now did you need something?
HHH: Nah, I just stopped by to…wait, your office?
Steph: Yes, my office. (glances at the door and sees Shaemus carrying a giant oil painting of HHH in his Conan the Barbarian outfit) Excuse me, what are you doing?
Shaemus: (looking at HHH) Where do ya want this, fella?
HHH: (grinning sheepishly) Um…well, there might have been, I mean, wires might have gotten crossed and, um…you know what, just replace that one. (points to a large McMahon family portrait hanging on one wall)
Steph: Damn it, for the last time, this isn’t your office, it’s mine, and you are NOT taking down the family portrait for…for THAT!
HHH: (smiling) Relax, honey, it’s a work of art, and it looks great in here for when we’re going over strategies.
(Shaemus has meanwhile removed the portrait from the wall and Brogue kicks a fresh nail in place before hanging the portrait)
Steph: (glaring between HHH and Shaemus) I told you I don’t want that in here, and what do you mean we?
HHH: Well, um, see, I already told the guys that since I’m C.O.O. I get a big office, and so I thought we could share one since you said there weren’t any available.
Steph: (exasperated sigh) Hunter, do you have any idea what a C.O.O. does?
HHH: Wears snazzy suits?
Steph: No. Well, I mean, yes, they do usually wear nice suits but that’s not even the tip of the iceberg…
HHH: Goldberg?
Steph: How on Earth did you get Goldberg out of what I said?
HHH: (shrugs) Can we sign him so I can beat him again? I love doing that.
Steph: No, we can’t, and since you brought up suits, do I even dare ask where your jacket is?
HHH: (looking confused) I, uh, I had it a minute ago, I swear.
(Scene changes to a large bullpen area full of cubicles, with Miz and Truth talking)
Truth: So that’s how we know that it’s all a plot. Conspiracy starts with c…o…n, and so does Connecticut, and they got spiders there too.
Miz: Damn right!
(CM Punk walks in wearing HHH’s suit coat)
Miz: (looking over) Another new jacket?
Punk: Yep.
Truth: I thought you said your only addiction was constipation, what are you playin’ at here.
(Punk and Miz glance at each other in confusion, then back at truth)
Miz: I think it was competition.
Truth: Same thing, man, same thing, and get these spiders off me!
Miz: What?
Truth: (engraged, grabs Miz by the shirt) Don’t WHAT me!
Miz: (holding his hands up) Relax, relax. (to Punk, trying to change the subject) So, uh…what’s the deal with jackets anyway?
Punk: My only addiction is competition. Competition and cool jackets. So that’s two, I guess.
Truth: (yelling) That’s two! Can’t have two, because that rhymes with coo, and if you double that, it’s coo coo!
(Saturn runs in riding Moppy like a stick horse)
Saturn: You’re welcome!
(Saturn runs out)
Truth: Thank you!
(Punk takes off HHH’s suit coat and folds it up, placing it in a cabinet in his cubicle in between Johnny Ace’s sport coat and one of Jimmy Hart’s jackets)
Miz: Man, you’ve got a ton of those, you mind if I borrow one?
Punk: (looks at Miz, then thinks for a minute) I guess, but bring it back.
Miz: Deal. So can I pick one out?
Punk: (takes out HHH’s jacket and hands it over) Just take this one, it, um, looks good on you. (smirks to himself)
Miz: (slips on the jacket and grins) Thanks, Punk.
(Miz struts out of the office, whistling “My Time” with Truth in tow rapping about spiders as the scene ends)
(Scene shifts to HHH standing outside of Steph’s office removing the giant poster of himself and scowling)
HHH: Why can’t I leave this here?
Steph: Because it’s my office, if you want one I’m sure we can find one.
HHH: (pointing down the hall to a pair of heavy double doors with elaborate handles) What about that one? It looks important, and since Vince isn’t here I should be allowed to have it.
Steph: No, that one is taken.
HHH: By who?
Steph: (glances away) Some new executives.
HHH: New executives? You’re just saying that to keep me out, aren’t you?
Steph: Would you drop it if I said yes?
HHH: (trying to keep the grin off his face) Suuuuuuuuuuuuure.
Steph: Fine, then yes, yes I am.
HHH: I KNEW IT! I call dibs on it! It’s MINE!
(HHH runs down the hall towards the doors, stopping only to Pedigree the mail clerk as he goes, with Steph trying to chase him down as the scene ends)
(Scene shifts to a frustrated Randy Orton glaring at his cell phone as John Cena walks in)
Orton: Damn him! I’m gonna SNAP! I’m gonna kick his ass!
Cena: (adjusting his new day glow yellow attire) Who you pissed off at now?
Orton: (glaring at his cellphone then at Cena) Guess.
Cena: Mark Henry?
Orton: Nah, he has my title but he baked me a cake.
Cena: George Steele?
Orton: No.
Cena: (thinking hard) Can I have a hint?
Orton: (rolling his eyes) Fine, used to be a tag team partner of mine.
Cena: Haku?
Orton: You’re not even trying anymore are you?
Cena: (continuing to guess as Orton walks away) It’s King Kong Bundy, isn’t it?
(Orton exits the room and walks down the hall, his phone buzzing with a new text message)
(Orton looks down as he passes the water cooler where Marty Janetty is having a drink)
Orton: SON OF A BITCH! (begins scrolling through his contacts and hits send when he finds what he’s looking for. He hears an answering machine pick up with a woman’s voice)
Machine: Hi, this is Reby, and you’ve reached Edge’s phone. Leave a message.
Orton: (hearing the beep) He’s still texting me and it’s been more than a year. I blame you, call me when you get this. (hits the end button and glares at both Marty and the water cooler)
Marty: Problems kid?
(Orton takes a step forward, but stops when his phone rings)
Orton: (glancing at caller ID before answering) WHAT?!
Edge: Hey buddy, got your message, you sound like you’re having a rough day.
Orton: Gee, ya think? It’s been forever and I’m still getting texts like seven times a day from North Carolina. It’s not funny anymore, and another thing, was that who I think it was on your answering machine?
Edge: (the grin obvious in his voice) I wasn’t even trying, I swear.
Orton: Yeah, sure, so you steal his girlfriend, AGAIN, and I get to deal with it? You deal with it! (begins to get angry) I’m tired of being stalked!
Edge: You’re getting mad, aren’t you?
Orton: (through gritted teeth) You think?
Edge: Bet your face is doing that contorting thing, and veins are popping out in your forehead.
Orton: Shut up.
Edge: (mocking voice) Angry Randy SMASH. Call lawyers and wear dress!
Orton: I hate you sometimes. (hangs up the phone and slips it in his pocket, barely containing his anger)
Marty: (reaching to refill his water for the fiftieth time) I feel your pain, man, tag partners. Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em.
(Orton drops to the floor and begins pounding away with both hands)
Marty: Decaf, kid, trust me.
(Orton springs up and RKO’s the water cooler, breaking it)
Marty: HEY! I’m thirsty here!
(Orton storms out, leaving a dejected Marty staring at an empty cup as the scene ends)
(Scene shifts to Trips and Steph standing outside the large double doors)
HHH: (pulling the handles) It’s locked.
Steph: Yes, I know it’s locked. If you would have waited I could have told you that, but you had to run down here to see whose it is.
HHH: (defensively) It’s mine, I called it, and you heard it.
Steph: For the last time, it doesn’t work that way.
HHH: Does so.
Steph: (sighing) Stop it, no it doesn’t. Offices are assigned based on job.
HHH: Well I have an important job!
Steph: (speaking slowly, reassuringly) Of course you do, but this office is already being used.
HHH: (slowly) But if it’s for important jobs, and I have one, and I called it, then how can that be?
Steph: (shaking her head) Because it’s been in use for almost a year, haven’t you ever noticed it?
HHH: No, not really. (begins to knock loudly on the door) Hello! Open this door, the C.O.O. demands it!
Steph: (quietly) Hunter, please…
HHH: (looking at Steph) Fine. (back to the door) PLEASE open the door, I am the C.O.O.!
Steph: (closing her eyes and rubbing her temples) That’s not what I meant…
(the door opens to reveal a half naked and bloodied Nature Boy strutting in circles)
Flair: Woooooooooooo!
HHH: Wait, you?
Flair: Woooooo! Woooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
HHH: (looking between Flair and Steph) But you don’t even work here!
Steph: Yes he does, he’s the assistant to the general manager.
HHH: You mean Skateboard?
Steph: No, Hunter, not him, the other RAW GM.
HHH: (confused) Micheal Cole?
Steph: No.
HHH: Lillian Garcia?
Steph: Hunter, he’s right over there.
(one of the two large desk chairs swivels to face the room, revealing a dapperly dressed Sledgie )
Sledgei: (leans forward toward a name plate on the large desk that reads “RAW General Manager)
HHH: Wait, you’re the GM?
(Sledgie tilts slightly to the right)
HHH: That is crap, first you were VP of prop relations, and now you’re in charge on TV too? That is so not fair!
Steph: It’s most definitely fair, and the fans love him.
(Sledgie leans slightly back in the chair as Flair is now strutting back and forth on his desk before Flair flopping onto it, shattering it)
Steph: Damn, that’s the fourth one this week.
HHH: So, wait, he gets a corner office, a big promotion, and I get what?
Steph: Well, I did buy you some new suits.
(Miz wanders into the room)
Miz: Hey guys, what’s going on in here?
HHH: My jacket!
Miz: It’s awesome isn’t it? Wait, your jacket? Oh crap. (he glances back to see Punk grinning in the hallway, dressed as Emperor Palpatine, slowly rubbing his hands together)
Punk: This is why you fail.
(HHH Pedigrees Miz and takes his jacket back)
HHH: So, now that I found my jacket can I have the office?
Steph: Maybe you can share it.
(they both look over at Sledgie, as his chair slowly turns away from them)
Steph: Sorry, but we can get you some nice decorations for your cubicle.
HHH: Damn it!
(scene opens with HHH and Steph in a large corner office at Titan Towers)
HHH: Finally, I get a nice big office, it took long enough.
Steph: (rolling her eyes) For the last time, Hunter, this isn’t your office, it’s my office, now did you need something?
HHH: Nah, I just stopped by to…wait, your office?
Steph: Yes, my office. (glances at the door and sees Shaemus carrying a giant oil painting of HHH in his Conan the Barbarian outfit) Excuse me, what are you doing?
Shaemus: (looking at HHH) Where do ya want this, fella?
HHH: (grinning sheepishly) Um…well, there might have been, I mean, wires might have gotten crossed and, um…you know what, just replace that one. (points to a large McMahon family portrait hanging on one wall)
Steph: Damn it, for the last time, this isn’t your office, it’s mine, and you are NOT taking down the family portrait for…for THAT!
HHH: (smiling) Relax, honey, it’s a work of art, and it looks great in here for when we’re going over strategies.
(Shaemus has meanwhile removed the portrait from the wall and Brogue kicks a fresh nail in place before hanging the portrait)
Steph: (glaring between HHH and Shaemus) I told you I don’t want that in here, and what do you mean we?
HHH: Well, um, see, I already told the guys that since I’m C.O.O. I get a big office, and so I thought we could share one since you said there weren’t any available.
Steph: (exasperated sigh) Hunter, do you have any idea what a C.O.O. does?
HHH: Wears snazzy suits?
Steph: No. Well, I mean, yes, they do usually wear nice suits but that’s not even the tip of the iceberg…
HHH: Goldberg?
Steph: How on Earth did you get Goldberg out of what I said?
HHH: (shrugs) Can we sign him so I can beat him again? I love doing that.
Steph: No, we can’t, and since you brought up suits, do I even dare ask where your jacket is?
HHH: (looking confused) I, uh, I had it a minute ago, I swear.
(Scene changes to a large bullpen area full of cubicles, with Miz and Truth talking)
Truth: So that’s how we know that it’s all a plot. Conspiracy starts with c…o…n, and so does Connecticut, and they got spiders there too.
Miz: Damn right!
(CM Punk walks in wearing HHH’s suit coat)
Miz: (looking over) Another new jacket?
Punk: Yep.
Truth: I thought you said your only addiction was constipation, what are you playin’ at here.
(Punk and Miz glance at each other in confusion, then back at truth)
Miz: I think it was competition.
Truth: Same thing, man, same thing, and get these spiders off me!
Miz: What?
Truth: (engraged, grabs Miz by the shirt) Don’t WHAT me!
Miz: (holding his hands up) Relax, relax. (to Punk, trying to change the subject) So, uh…what’s the deal with jackets anyway?
Punk: My only addiction is competition. Competition and cool jackets. So that’s two, I guess.
Truth: (yelling) That’s two! Can’t have two, because that rhymes with coo, and if you double that, it’s coo coo!
(Saturn runs in riding Moppy like a stick horse)
Saturn: You’re welcome!
(Saturn runs out)
Truth: Thank you!
(Punk takes off HHH’s suit coat and folds it up, placing it in a cabinet in his cubicle in between Johnny Ace’s sport coat and one of Jimmy Hart’s jackets)
Miz: Man, you’ve got a ton of those, you mind if I borrow one?
Punk: (looks at Miz, then thinks for a minute) I guess, but bring it back.
Miz: Deal. So can I pick one out?
Punk: (takes out HHH’s jacket and hands it over) Just take this one, it, um, looks good on you. (smirks to himself)
Miz: (slips on the jacket and grins) Thanks, Punk.
(Miz struts out of the office, whistling “My Time” with Truth in tow rapping about spiders as the scene ends)
(Scene shifts to HHH standing outside of Steph’s office removing the giant poster of himself and scowling)
HHH: Why can’t I leave this here?
Steph: Because it’s my office, if you want one I’m sure we can find one.
HHH: (pointing down the hall to a pair of heavy double doors with elaborate handles) What about that one? It looks important, and since Vince isn’t here I should be allowed to have it.
Steph: No, that one is taken.
HHH: By who?
Steph: (glances away) Some new executives.
HHH: New executives? You’re just saying that to keep me out, aren’t you?
Steph: Would you drop it if I said yes?
HHH: (trying to keep the grin off his face) Suuuuuuuuuuuuure.
Steph: Fine, then yes, yes I am.
HHH: I KNEW IT! I call dibs on it! It’s MINE!
(HHH runs down the hall towards the doors, stopping only to Pedigree the mail clerk as he goes, with Steph trying to chase him down as the scene ends)
(Scene shifts to a frustrated Randy Orton glaring at his cell phone as John Cena walks in)
Orton: Damn him! I’m gonna SNAP! I’m gonna kick his ass!
Cena: (adjusting his new day glow yellow attire) Who you pissed off at now?
Orton: (glaring at his cellphone then at Cena) Guess.
Cena: Mark Henry?
Orton: Nah, he has my title but he baked me a cake.
Cena: George Steele?
Orton: No.
Cena: (thinking hard) Can I have a hint?
Orton: (rolling his eyes) Fine, used to be a tag team partner of mine.
Cena: Haku?
Orton: You’re not even trying anymore are you?
Cena: (continuing to guess as Orton walks away) It’s King Kong Bundy, isn’t it?
(Orton exits the room and walks down the hall, his phone buzzing with a new text message)
(Orton looks down as he passes the water cooler where Marty Janetty is having a drink)
Orton: SON OF A BITCH! (begins scrolling through his contacts and hits send when he finds what he’s looking for. He hears an answering machine pick up with a woman’s voice)
Machine: Hi, this is Reby, and you’ve reached Edge’s phone. Leave a message.
Orton: (hearing the beep) He’s still texting me and it’s been more than a year. I blame you, call me when you get this. (hits the end button and glares at both Marty and the water cooler)
Marty: Problems kid?
(Orton takes a step forward, but stops when his phone rings)
Orton: (glancing at caller ID before answering) WHAT?!
Edge: Hey buddy, got your message, you sound like you’re having a rough day.
Orton: Gee, ya think? It’s been forever and I’m still getting texts like seven times a day from North Carolina. It’s not funny anymore, and another thing, was that who I think it was on your answering machine?
Edge: (the grin obvious in his voice) I wasn’t even trying, I swear.
Orton: Yeah, sure, so you steal his girlfriend, AGAIN, and I get to deal with it? You deal with it! (begins to get angry) I’m tired of being stalked!
Edge: You’re getting mad, aren’t you?
Orton: (through gritted teeth) You think?
Edge: Bet your face is doing that contorting thing, and veins are popping out in your forehead.
Orton: Shut up.
Edge: (mocking voice) Angry Randy SMASH. Call lawyers and wear dress!
Orton: I hate you sometimes. (hangs up the phone and slips it in his pocket, barely containing his anger)
Marty: (reaching to refill his water for the fiftieth time) I feel your pain, man, tag partners. Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em.
(Orton drops to the floor and begins pounding away with both hands)
Marty: Decaf, kid, trust me.
(Orton springs up and RKO’s the water cooler, breaking it)
Marty: HEY! I’m thirsty here!
(Orton storms out, leaving a dejected Marty staring at an empty cup as the scene ends)
(Scene shifts to Trips and Steph standing outside the large double doors)
HHH: (pulling the handles) It’s locked.
Steph: Yes, I know it’s locked. If you would have waited I could have told you that, but you had to run down here to see whose it is.
HHH: (defensively) It’s mine, I called it, and you heard it.
Steph: For the last time, it doesn’t work that way.
HHH: Does so.
Steph: (sighing) Stop it, no it doesn’t. Offices are assigned based on job.
HHH: Well I have an important job!
Steph: (speaking slowly, reassuringly) Of course you do, but this office is already being used.
HHH: (slowly) But if it’s for important jobs, and I have one, and I called it, then how can that be?
Steph: (shaking her head) Because it’s been in use for almost a year, haven’t you ever noticed it?
HHH: No, not really. (begins to knock loudly on the door) Hello! Open this door, the C.O.O. demands it!
Steph: (quietly) Hunter, please…
HHH: (looking at Steph) Fine. (back to the door) PLEASE open the door, I am the C.O.O.!
Steph: (closing her eyes and rubbing her temples) That’s not what I meant…
(the door opens to reveal a half naked and bloodied Nature Boy strutting in circles)
Flair: Woooooooooooo!
HHH: Wait, you?
Flair: Woooooo! Woooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
HHH: (looking between Flair and Steph) But you don’t even work here!
Steph: Yes he does, he’s the assistant to the general manager.
HHH: You mean Skateboard?
Steph: No, Hunter, not him, the other RAW GM.
HHH: (confused) Micheal Cole?
Steph: No.
HHH: Lillian Garcia?
Steph: Hunter, he’s right over there.
(one of the two large desk chairs swivels to face the room, revealing a dapperly dressed Sledgie )
Sledgei: (leans forward toward a name plate on the large desk that reads “RAW General Manager)
HHH: Wait, you’re the GM?
(Sledgie tilts slightly to the right)
HHH: That is crap, first you were VP of prop relations, and now you’re in charge on TV too? That is so not fair!
Steph: It’s most definitely fair, and the fans love him.
(Sledgie leans slightly back in the chair as Flair is now strutting back and forth on his desk before Flair flopping onto it, shattering it)
Steph: Damn, that’s the fourth one this week.
HHH: So, wait, he gets a corner office, a big promotion, and I get what?
Steph: Well, I did buy you some new suits.
(Miz wanders into the room)
Miz: Hey guys, what’s going on in here?
HHH: My jacket!
Miz: It’s awesome isn’t it? Wait, your jacket? Oh crap. (he glances back to see Punk grinning in the hallway, dressed as Emperor Palpatine, slowly rubbing his hands together)
Punk: This is why you fail.
(HHH Pedigrees Miz and takes his jacket back)
HHH: So, now that I found my jacket can I have the office?
Steph: Maybe you can share it.
(they both look over at Sledgie, as his chair slowly turns away from them)
Steph: Sorry, but we can get you some nice decorations for your cubicle.
HHH: Damn it!
helped $lim jinx NXT. Woops
