Smackdown Captions for 1/20/06

[lildude8218]

Kurt: Shhhh! Are you dense or something? You almost told Benoit about his surprise party!



Kurt and Daivari reenact the Hulkster/Mean Gene training montage



The Kama Sutra is an interesting practice.



After the success of Live Sex on Raw with Edge and Lita, Smackdown countered with Kurt Angle and Melina having Live Beastiality Sex.



And here's the animal right on cue! *cues porn music*



Ref: STOP! Don't do that Mark! I'm warning you! Don't do that! *laughs* Did you like my Christopher Daniels impression or what?



Mark was declared the winner even though the ring steps' foot was clearly under the bottom rope.



Rey: Hey Mark, I kicked you in the chest not the face. You're getting closer though.



Rey: No no no! I kicked your knee, not your back. You're screwing it up again! *hits him with a rolled up newspaper*



There was only one proper way to scrape barnacles off of a whale.



Booker T and Sharmell had no idea that Aurora Borealis was occurring right above them.



Booker: WOAH! That is some damn good looking cotton candy right there. Give me 8!



Orlando: I am your son from the FUTURE! I've been sent back to ensure that my existance isn't wiped out. They have sent a mercenary back to kill you. You won't know where, you won't know when, or even who is going to kill you. All I know is that he will deny any involvment and say that it wasn't his fault.



As Orlando began to pounce on a mouse, he was regretting taking that transplant from a cat.



Even Nick Patrick was amazed by Randy's breakdancing skills.



Benoit and Booker felt this was the time to reenact Tito Santana beating up Slick at Wrestlemania 3.



Kano Wins! FATALITY!



Even though it failed in WCW so many years ago, WWE was willing to take a chance on pushing The Yeti as a legitimate threat to the World title.



Boogeyman....Buffalo!



A kite-eating tree was believable...but a Matt-eating ring. Simply ridiculous!



Caw.........CAWWWWWW!!!!!



Hmm, wrestlers at the announce table...what is this? Thunder?



Simon Dean blows in this dog whistle and across town at the Raw house show, Candice and Torrie start screaming in pain. Chloe sits there and wonders what's wrong.



Everyone always wanted to see London pushed to the top of the WWE...

[phentari]

"Oh, for pete's sake, the medal is NOT chocolate! Get it out of your mouth!"



Kurt Angle, drill sergeant. "C'mon, count, maggot! I can't hear you! You're gonna give me two hundred push-ups or you'll never walk again!"



"Oooooh, it's KURT ANGLE! He's so DREEEAMY!"



Tatanka...Buffalo shot!



"No, you idiot...I said "The medal's not chocolate," not, "Sweaty Sexual Chocolate!"



Mark Henry shows off his new lunchbox to Kurt. "And it has a Thermos and EVERYTHING!"



"Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner...and NEEEEW Stairmaster Champeen...Mark Henry!"



Rey: "Wheee! Swing me faster, daddy! Faster!!!"











Ladies and gentlemen, hailing from Bad Reception City, here is the Amazing Static Man!



"Teach you I can, yes! Learn the ways of the Jedi, you must!"









Mr. Kennedy embarks on a new career...in stand-up...COMEDY!

...comedy!

[miggozero]

Kurt: Shhhh! Bush could be listening to this right now!



Many fans thought the "Diva on Your Back" gimmick matches were kinda stupid....even by WWE standards.



Some assembly was required for Kurt's new REAL SEX Doll.



CAUTION!

It's advised that only one person use the REAL SEX doll at a time.



Moments before Mark Henry devourered Rey Rey in one bite.



Rey Mysterio was a pretty crappy chiropractor.



Just another Lazy Sunday...chillin.



Booker T is speechless when he thinks he sees Stevie Ray coming down the RAW ramp. He then laughs to himself when he realised how ridiculous that would be.



The real reason that Booker T was scared wasn't because of Orlando Jordan in front of him...rather than the fear of that paper wrestler on a stick coming at him.



Good ole Janitor Rusty didn't realise that he switched the arena's AC unit from "blow" to "suck". There were no survivors.



In 2006...Your.......Blood....Will......Run....COLD!!!

He's Coming Back!



And you said the WWE was racist.



Jealous of RAW's Ratings, Finlay attempted to get Hardy under the sheet so he could have his own LIVE SEX segment.

[Dookie_In_The_Pants]

Booker T: "To celebrate my new U.S. Gold,
I gonna give you all Golden Showers!
Now can you dig that, suckas?"





Months of practicing his water-spitting ring-entrance
gimmick will finally pay off for Triple-H at the
Royal Rumble, when he finally goes Super-Nova

[Seth Drakin of Monster Crap]

Booker T's celebration was short-lived as a rain of fire began to destroy the world.

Booker: This aint happening....Tell me this aint happening.

[G✇JI☈A]

Kurt: Hold still you have a bit of corn in your teeth.



Daviri: Hey here's my contact lens.



Kurt Angle tries on the brand new Melina Backpack from Shopzone.



Kurt: Jeez Mel when was the last time you changed your socks?



Mark Henry is so dumb that he forgot to put his head on.



Angle: What? Terry Has Some Pears?



Dav: I GIVE YOU: KING KONG'S STUNT DOUBLE!!!



Rey kicks Henry while sitting in the invisible high chair.



<Insert Fart Joke Here>



<insert crapping yourself joke here>



This was the last time the WWE will host a show in a Steel Mill.



Booker: So I hear you enjoy the best of both worlds?



The moment in the match that got its one and only star.



unfortunately no one saw this cause everyone was asleep.



Benoit thought Booker T's Incredible Hulk impression was crap.



NIPPLE CRIPPLE!!!



Lashley thinks that ripping off the crap 'Martin Short Show' would go un noticed



Boogeyman Got Wood!



Finlay Opens the Gates of Hell for Matt.



Kennedy: Here you go fellas have some of my official merchandise! Hell I'll even give ya a discount for them. Just cash please.



Simon Dean enjoys his Strawberry Flavored Melody Pop.

[Boku AKA Da Green Guy]

"

Orlando: I am your son from the FUTURE! I've been sent back to ensure that my existance isn't wiped out. They have sent a mercenary back to kill you. You won't know where, you won't know when, or even who is going to kill you. All I know is that he will deny any involvment and say that it wasn't his fault."

I would try to do my own but this is just too funny to allow me to write anything of humor.

[bobdead]

zillawrath said:

Booker T's celebration was short-lived as a rain of fire began to destroy the world.

Booker: This aint happening....Tell me this aint happening.

funnest one this week

mad props old bean