Ever felt like you were living a stagnant life?

[ibdude]

I know you guys are probably tired of people putting their personal life on the boards, but you guys give great advice and I was wondering if you guys could help. Thanks for reading if you did.

It just hit me last night when I was watching TV. I've realized that I'm living a stale, stagnant ass life. I'm 23 years old with no job even though I'm looking hard, never had a girlfriend, only have one friend who doesn't live in my city, I don't have a college education since I dropped out of college my sophomore year, among other things. It just feels like my life is going nowhere fast, and I'm just going on autopilot. It just feels like my life sucks right now and other people my age are enjoying life and have successful careers.

[Yami Daimao]

All the f***ing time. I'm practically in the same situation as you. I know it f***ing blows so much right now, but I just keep trying, and I hope for the best. It's the only way to cope really, at least for me.

[Michael Coello]

Yep, to the point I am determined to not be in the same place I was when the year began.

[CATCH_US IS the Conversation]

I feel the same way. I'm 25, still living at home (Moved out at age 20, but circumstances forced me to go back home after four months). Since then, I've been working a decent paying job, but spent half my earnings trying to support a down-on-his-luck friend to the point that I had to take out credit just to try to get by, and now even though I'm no longer supporting this friend, I'm still spending a large chunk of earnings trying to repay my debt, and thus I'm unable to save up for some of the things that I would like to get out and do. I have gone back to college, but have only been going part time due to work, and thus it's been taking me longer than normal just to get a degree.

[The Ichi]

Yup.

Although I have just gotten a promotion at work, that's given me a bit of spark.

[xCompackx]

Yeah, I'm the same. I'm 20 with a job, but it's only at night which means during the day I'm just lazy at home. I don't like it, but money is money I guess.

[Piccolo]

As someone who's always been goal-oriented and has very rarely felt stagnant (except for a few years in grad school), I guess I could give some advice about how to move forward.

I've always had a goal. In high school, those were "Get a 4.0, break 20:00 for XC and 6:00 for the mile". In college, those were "complete a double major, finish a marathon, date around to find out what I want in a guy." I was stagnant for a while in grad school, because the goal really dwindled to "Get the heck out of here." After that, though, the goal became "Get a job, find a serious relationship." Now the goal is "Make a serious relationship work long-term and have children."

You're 23, so you're pretty young. Think about what you want. Do you have a specific type of work you'd like to do? Does that work require any kind of experience or training that you could engage in right now? What are you looking for in your relationships... just to meet people and have fun? Find some activities in town that you enjoy doing, or do some volunteer work. If you're unemployed right now, you've got some time to do this.

Basically, set some goals for tonight, this week, this month, and this year. Make them realistic, but things that you genuinely want and are willing to work toward. Then, every day, commit to doing something small to get you there. For my running goals, I had to put in the miles. For my academic goals, I had to write the papers and read the textbooks. For my relationship goals, I had to learn how to talk to guys, and after school was over, I had to join a dating site and make myself contact people and go on dates.

Inertia is easy and dangerous. Force yourself into directed motion toward something you want, and you won't feel so aimless and stagnant anymore.

[Biggtone23]

Yep working at a gas station with a masters degree and living with my girlfriend and her mother will do that to you though.

[Brood Lone Wolf Funker]

Yep pushing carts and living at home with your parents and being 26 sucks especially when your best friend is on the other side of the country

[DXKramer]

I'm 31 and my life has been pretty much the same since 2007.

I work two jobs, so I have almost no time to myself, and when I finally get time off, I want to just SLEEP because I'm so tired.

[Deleted]

Oh yeah.

[King Ghidorah]

Nope!

[Deleted]

Sept 14, 2012 20:19:46 GMT -5 King Ghidorah said:

Nope!

That's not really fair King. If life gets a bit boring for you, you could always just fly away.

[edtheripper]

I'm a 35 year old retail worker with a wife and child. I'd say things are pretty stagnant at this point in time.

[bob]

yup

[Deleted]

Yes.

This thread was built for me.

No own place.

No car.

No girlfriend.

No "real" job.

Help me......

Ugh.

[stinger]

I am blessed to have a great wife and a supportive family, but my life has definitely been stagnant when it comes to employment. I have a law degree and passed the bar, but have been looking for work for almost a year. It gets really disheartening.

["I'm Batman..."]

It's pretty stagnant, with intermittent periods of progress. I would look into going back to school, at least part-time. You could take some art class, film, photography, or a music class, have some fun. You'll meet some people and maybe find a job on campus.

[Deleted]

I feel that now, just had a business venture fall on it's arse [no great amount of money lost, but time & planning & admin = blah] and really hating how I'm currently living.

The advice I'd give is to set goals, both attainable AND ludicrous. Set yourself to be doing ____ in 6 months, set yourself another task for a years time, put itme into working out HOW you can get to those goals, and hope for the best. I'm currently [along with working music stuff which kills me travel wise] planning to go to Uni next September and hopefully learn to drive next year. If I do one of those things I'll take the failed business happily.

A being's worth isn't proven through their successes, it's proven through their willingness to get back up after every opportunity has fallen around them.

[Mac]

The title to this thread sounds like one of those Computer or trade classes they offer on TV.


"Ever feel like you are living a stagnant life? Join ITT Tech!"