First Raw Captions Thread of the Year

[lildude8218]

I hope you all have fun with these. I sure did.



John was mad at Kurt wasting good jelly like this.



I must never tell anyone that I fell asleep at the Pi Kap house...



While Carlito and Daivari were putting the boots to Cena, Chris Masters was busy playing DDR.



A Rocky movie without Stallone just wasn't the same...



John really hated going to the doctor's for shots.



King: Hey Joey...do you know what a Conchairto is? *winks at Coach*



Big Show just needed one more cast on his other arm and his impression of a Thanksgiving turkey would be perfect.



What a bad sport! He didn't win the TV but he'd still have a chance to make it to the Showcase Showdown.



Triple H: Supposedly there's something called "work rate." Those geeks on the internet don't know anything about the business.



Vince either just said "3 minutes" or he's ordering the Roast Pork Lo Mein



HBK: Dude! You're not really supposed to kick me, this is all fake!



Kane: I will pet him and love him and call him "George."



Vince: You know you look a lot like Hilary Duff, if I squint and stare at your only your legs.



It wasn't that the referee didn't like Maria, he just got caught up in the moment of kicking her ass.



You get 3 guesses as to who is the brains of this operation



Not only does he put the figure four on Lita but also mocks the Undertaker in the process. He IS the man!



No one was quite sure why Edge brought a lifesized Garbage Pail Kid to the ring with him, but they just went with it.



Here's the first time a non-virgin jumped on Flair like that.



Edge: Uh oh....um Lita...did you hear that bottle of super glue break in my front pocket?



It's just too bad that this wasn't the start of a "Choose Your Own Adventure" book.



Mickie: No Trish, you've got me all wrong. I just wanted to see if you wanted to go to dinner and a movie. And by dinner I mean sex and by movie I mean let's make one!



Now we all know what happened to Midnight....Shelton's mom ate her!



When she told Shelton "Go get me a switch," she meant to change the channel over to the Impact replay on Spike.



Masters did not appreciate Shelton trying to do the YMCA during the Masterlock



Crazy Uncle Jerry couldn't help but pull a quarter from young Gregory's ear.



Helms: And whatcha gonna do King? When the Gregomaniacs run wild on YOU!!!!!

[Mikey]

Say hello to my little friend! I call him Mr Hat.

[DrBackflipsHoffman]

"BAAAAAAAAAH LOBSTER FIST IS VERY UNHAPPY"



"LOBSTER FIST LOVE TV, TV MUST BE DESTROYED AAAARRGGGH"

[Sharpy Snow]

Carlito: WHAT THE HELL IS IT?
Davari: ARGH! It's hideous!
Masters: KEEP IT AWAY! KEEP IT AWAY!



A triple threat match with the invisible man seemed like a good idea at the time.



Davari's plan of placing a mirror on the back of chair was a suprising success.



King: And this is called a chair. C...h...a...r...e... Chair.



Big Show took his frustrations of not having a choclate cake out on Triple H's present for him.



Kane: EEWWWWW! I THINK I'VE STOOD IN SOMETHING!



As the minutes passed, Chloe carefully planned her takeover of the WWE.



Needless to say, Edge's X-Factor audition didn't go down well with the judges.



Edge remembered that he had left the bath running.



Roughly 70% of the male population wished they were in Mickie's shoes at this moment.



The only pain Shelton was feeling was from Masters poor spelling.



Greg's friendly handshake went wrong after Jerry suddenly lost his hand-eye co-ordination.!

[Shy Guy]

does "anyone" else remember that "one" guy that "used" to come here to the "forums" and he'd throw these things: " " in "randomly"?

thats "what" this picture reminds "me" of.

[FHgrad99]

Nobody could really figure out why Triple H. was singing "Little Bunny Foo Foo."

[shovelman]

By killing the evil Kurt, Cena may get color back into the world



So much for that.



Masters botching a beatdown!



Come on, that was a friendly tap!



BAH GAWD KANG! Daivari is trying to stop zombie Cena with a chair!



BAH GAWD! COACH JUST NO-SOLD THAT CHAIRSHOT!



Cowboy Bob Orton sure gained weight and magically became 7' tall.



Big Show mad! Big Show SMASH!



Some will say I "hold down" the roster. It's not my fault they "sucked."



The return of 3MW is nigh!



KAne: I got sexy boy on my boots



Kane: Time to recreate that kill in Halloween 3



Vince: So, I've been faithful to my wife for 10 years. Wanna break that streak?



3 chicks and a referee....I smell a sitcom



Push that dog now!



The only way to release the figure-four is to give him a STD. I'm sure she'll be feared with 20.



Edge: Now to recreate the Ric Flair incident but Lita will play Flair this time.



Joey Styles: Why has the floor became sticky all of a sudden?



Joey Styles: DAMMIT KING!



Ernest Miller is calling his lawyer.



BOY! How many times have I told you that you can't main-event!



Bye Bye Helms



Helms: And whatcha gonna do King? When you ruin my career?!

[Limey]

Cena: "AAAARRRGH!!! CAMERA!!!! No...don't..NOOOOO!! DON'T TAKE A PICTURE OF ME!!! DON'T LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEE!!!!"



Even as a zombie, Cena kept his spot at the top of the power 25.



Daivari: "Hey! Let's play Stomp the Cena!!!!"

Carlito: "YAY!!! STOMP THE CENA!!!"

Masters: "Hey guys! I wanna play!! Let me play!! Whoopee!!!!"



Cena: "OOOOOOH, you just got knocked the **** out!!!"



When Cena holds the chair of power on a full moon, and chants out the ancient psalms of Tkk'plk, the forces of darkness cause a small Arab-American to grow from his shoulder.



King: "So, La Parka sold me this gee-tar, but how come when I strum it, it doesn't make a sound!?"

Joey: "...not a word, Coach."



Big Show: "IT'S MR. SOCKO..Or should I say...Mr. "Showko"?

Trips: "No you should not!!"

Big Show: "Oh. Yeah, that did kinda suck."



Trips: "Take my TV, just don't show me what's growing on your armpit!!!"



Triple H: "I have built a giant..."Laser"...that will knock a hole in the..."Ozone"..."



Vince: "Three Horsemen. You know...because Arn Anderson was too weak. Did you know that we made Stone Cold piss on him? That was great..."



HBK: "Hmm...why am I suddenly reminded of Goldberg/Bret Hart..."



Kane: "Eat your damn brocolli, boy!!! Don't spit it out, or you are GROUNDED, young man!!"



Vince: "Uh...Lill...your slip's showing. (Pause) It's nice."



Torrie: "This is for humiliating us!" (THWACK!)

Candice: "And this is for keeping your job when you're so moronic!" (THWACK!)

Ref: "AND THIS IS FOR BORROWING MY SIMON AND GARFUNKEL CD AND NEVER GIVING IT BACK!! I SIMPLY CANNOT START MY DAY WITHOUT IT!!!"(THWACK!)



Chloe: "So...puppies means WHAT?"



Flair: "And if the Figure Four wasn't enough, allow me to sing opera for you. *Ahem* DOLCEEEE AAAAAAMORRRRREEEE....."



Edge: "HEY MAW!!! LOOK WHUT I DONE FOUND!!! CAN I KEEP IT FER HUNTIN' CRABS?"



Flair: "Ah..Lita's always after me lucky charms!"



Lita: "*Sniff* EW! Who farted?"

Edge: "Uh...it wasn't me..."



Mickie: "Oooh, suits you, madam. Do you want it? Do you, madam?"

Trish: "Um...yeah. It's my towel, you moron."



Mickie: "Yeah, sorry to disturb you again, but...uh...after you've taken that shower, do you want to go for pizza?"

Trish: "..."



Shelton's Mama: "What are YOU gonna do...when Mommamania runs wild on YOU!!!"



Shelton's Mama: "See this? This is where I made the first incision during my long career as an open-heart surgeon. I can rip out someone's heart, y'know. Want me to rip our your still-beating heart, Shelton?"



Shelton: (Stretching) "Ah...what a nice nap. Now I'll just..HOLY CRAP!!!"

Masters: "This is your early-morning MASTERLOCK, SUCKER!!!"



Welcome to Boxing for Dummies, part Deux.



Helms: "Ooooh....who's got a funny little button? YOU've got a funny little button."

King: "Please stop doing that."

[Dave FCIC]

Cena: "Davari help my bottom lip is stuck to my shoulder"

[Lenny: Smooth like Keith Stone]

tmizzle521 said:

does "anyone" else remember that "one" guy that "used" to come here to the "forums" and he'd throw these things: " " in "randomly"?

thats "what" this picture reminds "me" of.

LMAO!!!!!!

I KNEW IT! TRIPLE H WAS GAV!

[Lenny: Smooth like Keith Stone]

Cena: "Oh my eye! Oh my eye!!! I can feel the blood rushing from my eye. PLEASE get me a napkin for my eye. Oh my eye....."



Masters just jumped into the ring from the upper bowl!



Coach: What just happened to our table?

King: I just got a text message from the Spanish announcers. They said "F you guys."



In today's WWE, even Mr Socko is juiced and dangerous!



Candice just performed the Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique.



Mama: "Nuh - uh! Oh no you didn't!"

Shelton: What did you say mama?

Mama: Mmmm Hmmm... oh no you didn't just say that!

Shelton: In English!

Mama: YOU SUCK!

[Luca]

King: is that a quarter? It is! It is a quarter! *rip* Wow that is one really bendy bloody quarter.
Helms: OWWWW! thats my ear and I'm def in the other one you dumb f***! Now I'll never get that ear modeling job.

[phantomgirl1969]

Someone please this monkey off my back!Oh wait it's that Davairi!Dude your boots smell!I'm so sorry Show the tv looked alot bigger in the catalog!Please just let me join you in the shower.Kurt was jealous because noone would dance on him.This is what happens when you put your fist through a chair Coach.Any questions?Liliane did you just have gas?Victoria this is how you do the twist.

[Lucky Duck]

Eerie isn't it. Like looking into the future......

[Palatial Regalia]

Christian 2.0

[The KnutCase]

Helms and King may have been feuding, but their love of recreating scenes from "Fight Club" always brought them back together again.

[Christianv2]

protoroc said:

Christian 2.0

Christian....2.0...as in Version 2
....as in V2...as in ChristianV2
....as in *continues for hours*

....as in ME

[Benjamin Boone]

lildude8218 said:

I hope you all have fun with these. I sure did.



Watching Santa with Muscles caused Angle to tap out and make Cena bleed in terror.



I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me... *Finish the rest of the Bohemian Rhapsody here*



Chris Masters had the idea that a dance party was in order right in the middle of a John Cena stomp down.


John Cena was clearly watching too many episodes of Batman when he shouted "KA-PLOW!" after punching Daivari.



Daivairi: DADDY! DADDY! I WANNA GO TO THE ZOO DADDY DADDY DADDY!!!!
Cena: SHUT UP OR IT'S TIME FOR DR. RECLINER TO MAKE A FACE EXAM!



Jerry the King Lawler was really mad when Joey Styles and the Coach denied farting just now.



The Big Show did his best to sing Les Miserables while wearing a poor Mr. Hat puppet cast.



NO HUNTER! I DON'T WANNA WATCH THE GILMORE GIRLS! BIG SHOW SMASH!



Triple H would soon find out that the "I got your ear" thing would not please Mick Foley...



Vince does his best to represent da gangsta life. Word.



Shawn Michaels was displeased with Kane to find out he really fell for the "Bees are attacking my insides" gag.



Kane:GRR! I want my fortune dammit!
HBK: I'm not a fortune cookie ya dummy!



Vince was surprised to hear that Lillian Garcia was not, in fact, a teenage girl.



Jack Doan knew he shouldn't ate the Chinese buffet, especially when he was in the middle of a diva hoedown.



Torrie Wilson suddenly remembered in agonizing fashion that she had an on camera relationship with Shane Douglas.



Flair summonded the demons out of Lita in a quite bizarre fashion... one that would make British Bulldog green with envy.



edge tried his best to sing a Grim Reaper song, with sexy results!



Here Lita got over anxious and wanted to find out when she would ride Space Mountain... with sexy results!



Edge suddenly realized the pun of his former ring name, Sexton Hardcastle.



I wanna touch you this much!



Perhaps now isn't the best time for a knock knock joke?



Is that Alphasoup you ate? I thought I told you to eat Chunky Soup!



You know, Ernest Miller would say for someone to call his momma. Well it happened, except it was at the wrong time and for the wrong person. For this, Shelton becomes stoned.



Shelton winces as Chris told this joke... knock knock! Who's there? An interrupting cow.... MOO!




Jerry Lawler suddenly remembered to act like a Rock'em Sock'em robot at Gregory's expense.



Yeah, I 'ate your dog. I 'ated the waay he'd bark and 'ated the way he left a mess all over my cabin!

[Deleted]

Chris Masters apparently went to the Rocky Maivia school of kicking like a pansy.



Daivari got a little too close to Cena doing the "Hotstepper".



King: "Joey, that's what you get for ordering 'the Bi-i-ig Salad'."



Normally they just shoot the horse if he breaks a leg.



Triple H: "Ooh, lookie lookie what I have here, Show! It's your last decent match!"



"Big Show, prepare for a visit from 'the Cla-a-a-a-a-aw-w-w-w-w-w!'"



"I did not have sexual relations with that one woman. I had sexual relations with all 3 of them!"



Kane plays a game with little Shawn Michaels, "Got Your Smile".



Vince understands now why Lillian has a husky-sounding voice.



This is the worst version of "Dance Dance Revolution" I've ever seen.



Chloe (thinking): "Pfft, I didn't have to inflate my boobs to get my job."



I think Lita misunderstood when Ric Flair asked "if she wants to ride 'Space Mountain' ".



Mickie: "I work terrible hours. Travel. The only way I get any pleasure these days is sitting on the washer during the spin cycle."
Trish (confused): "Does that work?"
Mickie (smiles): "Have you ever seen whiter whites?"



Mickie: "All you need is something to release the tension and you'll be fine."
Trish: "If you don't give my towel back, I'll release some tension by whipping your ass."



Momma: "You don't ever call your momma anymore. At least the Cat has someone call his momma. You just don't give a damn about your momma!"
Shelton: "But, momma..."
Momma: " 'But momma' nothin'!"



Momma: "I SAID GIVE ME YOUR BELT!"
Shelton: "Sorry momma, I lost it months ago."



Gregory Helms: "Why did I drop the Hurricane gimmick? Cause that's how I roll! Peeps, holla back!"