Why don't parents bother to control their kids?

[Heartbreaker]

Today my grandma came back home from the hospital after being in there since Tuesday. She has cancer and the doctors had to drain fluid out of her. This also happened two weeks ago. My aunt went to pick up my grandma this morning so my mum and I babysitted my little cousins (the oldest is four and a half, the youngest is one and a half). I love my little cousins so much and they are good kids but sometimes they can be pretty out of hand and refuse to listen. After we helped my grandma get into the house and brought in the stuff the hospital gave us like an oxygen tank and a walker/rollator.

Anyway, my cousins decided to grab the walker/rollator and play with it... by crashing it into things like the wall, door and the older one pushed it a few times onto my grandma who was sitting down. Think my aunt says anything? Nope. Me and my brother were sitting in the lounge room, tried to tell him to stop. I grabbed the walker and put it into a bedroom to hide it. Then the kids decide to play with a broom... by swinging it around in the lounge room. Think my aunt says anything? Nope. Finally, I grabbed it out of my cousin's hands he said "I wanna play with it" and I said in a loud tone "It's not a toy." I can kinda tell that my aunt seemed offended or something and tomorrow they (along with my uncle) are coming over for dinner. It would not surprise me if they said something to me about it.

I totally understand that kids will be kids (I was one, duh) but I cannot stand when parents are either too scared or too lazy to deal with their children when they misbehave.

[Evilution E5150]

because its hard, cant some one else do it

[Cranjis McBasketball]

Good for you. At least someone stopped them.

[Evil Homer]

For me the worse was when at my sisters wedding, some kids were (my distant realatives) were pushing down the decorations. I asked them nicely to stop it, they didnt listen. I asked the DJ to ask parents to grab their kids. These dicks didnt listen, I approached them and said get your kids away from that display. The guy got up and grabbed his kids, sat them down. They got up a few minutes later, and started doing it again. Then I snapped , I told him off big time, Questioned his role as a father- he got pissed and said, I disrespected him and he's gonna leave I Told him go - I dont wanna see your piece of crap children anyway.

[stevieboy]

Our neighbours kids are like that. They threw shit at a sick little old lady down the road, held down and peed on one of the other neighbour's kids, and taunted our cats (who we keep inside) to the point one of them started peeing blood. When my fiancee got sick of asking them to get off the yard and told them to f*** off thier dad came over and threatened to kill her. To me it's the parents selfish attitudes rubbing off on thier kids.

[Mattification]

I was at a football match the other week where two young boys were throwing stuff they were finding on the ground at a little girl that sits a couple of rows in front of them. It was half time so folk were chatting away to each other and weren't paying attention.

I could see the girl was getting upset so I walked over to tell them to stop it. The dad did nothing but tell them so sit down after I'd had a word.


At least he didn't have a go at me though like in Stevieboy's example. Parents who side with their kids rather than showing some discipline disgust me.

[Ryanar]

I used to be afraid to tell my cousins to stop doing stupid things. Then they deleted my Vice City save. And i've been the jerk cousin ever since. Funny thing about it now is that the cousin that deleted my save is dealing with the same situation with his little brother now.

[Ben Wyatt]

We live in an age where parents cant discipline their kids because if they say, spank them, here comes DSS to investigate.

That, and there's a growing number of parents who see their kids as a status symbol/trophy

[Push R Truth]

I have a nephew that comes over and turns all the batteries backwards in literally everything in my house. I told him that wasn't acceptable and if he ever wanted to come back he would have to learn how to respect other people things.

Next time he came back he jumped through my screen door because "it's springy!" His mother refuses to pay for it because she doesn't believe he did it... despite him taking pride in doing it.

So I banned the little bastard from my house and now I'm some kind of monster that hates kids. I love kids! I just don't tolerate asshole behavior because somebody is 12.

10 years from now I fully expect this kid to be in jail for dismembering hookers or something in his mom's basement.

[biafra]

Laziness, usually. It's not hard. Get off your ass and stop them. I do, and my kids don't act like idiots.

[Ben Wyatt]

Oct 22, 2012 6:58:34 GMT -5 biafra said:

Laziness, usually. It's not hard. Get off your ass and stop them. I do, and my kids don't act like idiots.

[Rolent Tex]

As far as I'm concerned with my son (and daughter on the way), that shit don't fly in this household. I hear of them doing something stupid like I see a lot of kids doing, I'll put the fear of God into them. I'm amazed on how many parents just give their kids $20, drop them off somewhere for a good 3-4 hours and whatever happens happens.

[darthalexander]

I work in daycare and I've seen a lot of terrible trends:

Many parents are afraid to be parents. They think that if they say no to their child, their child will then hate them for life and/or will grow up with some "issues".

Some parents have read somewhere from some experts that to raise kids "right" you have to give them freedom, choices, etc. In general this is not a bad idea, but many parents take it to extreme levels and let their children dictate to THEM what to do, etc.

Some parents treat their children as equals and give them way too much power. I've seen parents come here to pick up their kids and wait around forever because their child doesn't want to leave yet.

Some parents are just plain clueless. Some are dumb as bricks and the children are smarter than they are! (I've seen this quite a lot).

A lot of parents are also not teaching social skills to their kids. I was raised that you do certain things at certain times, I was taught manners, etc., but a lot of parents aren't doing that and they leave it on the schools to do it for them. It needs to come from the parents because they are the most important teachers here. Some kids come in and will grab all kinds of stuff off your desk, they'll go into your desk, and then the parents just stand there grinning like idiots. We have to tell the kids to stop.

[Deleted]

I'm going to go out on a very dodgy limb here and say that in a significant amount of cases (though jury's out on if I'd say a majority) never wanted the kids to begin with.

[Ryanar]

Oct 22, 2012 11:02:17 GMT -5 darthalexander said:

I work in daycare and I've seen a lot of terrible trends:

Many parents are afraid to be parents. They think that if they say no to their child, their child will then hate them for life and/or will grow up with some "issues".

Some parents have read somewhere from some experts that to raise kids "right" you have to give them freedom, choices, etc. In general this is not a bad idea, but many parents take it to extreme levels and let their children dictate to THEM what to do, etc.

Some parents treat their children as equals and give them way too much power. I've seen parents come here to pick up their kids and wait around forever because their child doesn't want to leave yet.

Some parents are just plain clueless. Some are dumb as bricks and the children are smarter than they are! (I've seen this quite a lot).

A lot of parents are also not teaching social skills to their kids. I was raised that you do certain things at certain times, I was taught manners, etc., but a lot of parents aren't doing that and they leave it on the schools to do it for them. It needs to come from the parents because they are the most important teachers here. Some kids come in and will grab all kinds of stuff off your desk, they'll go into your desk, and then the parents just stand there grinning like idiots. We have to tell the kids to stop.

The crazy thing is that the parents cant find a medium. Near you the parents let the kids do anything. But around me and even in my family, the kids have no freedom. I went to a tae-kwon-do elementary achool where teacher/student physical discipline was allowed with a signed release. If any student stepped out of line, they'd have to stay after school for a few hours in a pushup position with one foot up. If we got sloppy or someone started crying our grandmaster would hit our feet twice with singapore canes. Im not saying every kid needs this but some sort of discipline other than time out should be allowed.

[xCompackx]

Oct 22, 2012 6:42:59 GMT -5 Ben Wyatt said:

We live in an age where parents cant discipline their kids because if they say, spank them, here comes DSS to investigate.

That, and there's a growing number of parents who see their kids as a status symbol/trophy

Pretty much. For some reason or another, we've been "taught" that if you discipline your child, you're a monster who should never tell a child off. It's not like people should beat their children or something, but they should have the spine to keep their kids in line.

[biafra]

Just the other day I was in a waiting room with a woman and her two kids, and i was with my 18 month old daughter. Her kids were running around like crazy, and really some playing was fine; it was a big enough space and they weren't being too loud. But she wanted them to stop. So she just kept sitting there. And saying stop. Over and over. And then kind of pleading them to stop. MY daughter starts to run around and be a little annoying to other people. I GET UP OUT OF MY CHAIR, take her by the hand, and keep her confined to a place away from everyone else. She is just a baby, I didn't punish her, and I even let her do her thing within her space. But I didn;t let her run around while I sat on my ass.

[Krimzon]

#Belts2Asses

[Allie Kitsune]

Because if they try, Child Protective services will come and take the child away, then have the parent arrested on abuse charges.

[tigermaskxxxvii]

Oct 22, 2012 11:12:56 GMT -5 @aido1888 said:

I'm going to go out on a very dodgy limb here and say that in a significant amount of cases (though jury's out on if I'd say a majority) never wanted the kids to begin with.

And it's parents like that make me not want to have kids, more so than the out of control kids in question. If people don't want kids then don't have the kids. All of us are being annoyed by someone who doesn't need to exist created by someone who shouldn't be a parent.