Post by angryfan on Dec 3, 2005 1:23:23 GMT -5
Here we go, the latest installment.
Woooo’s the Boss (episode 6)
(Scene opens in a local mall. The gang plus Vince and Linda, are doing some Christmas shopping)
HHH: I hate shopping this time of year, the malls are too crowded.
Steph: Oh, don’t be a grouch, this is fun.
Flair: Woooooooooooooooo!
Steph: Sure is, Naitch, but malls always turn the heat up. I guess maybe it makes people spend more money at the food courts or something.
Flair: Wooooooooooooo!
Steph: Yes, we can stop and get something cold to drink later, but Naitch, try to keep your clothes on, ok?
Flair: Wooooooooo!
HHH: So where are you heading Naitch?
Flair: Woooooooooooo!
HHH: Surprise huh? OK, makes sense I suppose, but you can tell me.
Steph: No he can’t, it wouldn’t be a surprise then. Have fun, Naitch.
Flair: Woooooooooo! (he struts off down one of the hallways, heading towards Robes R US”).
(Vince and Linda walk up, Linda carrying several bags. Vince power walks by her side, carrying what looks like a package of envelopes)
HHH: Find any deals?
Linda: Yes…there are…many…..specials.
Vince: Those ungrateful bastards at the Gap wouldn’t accept my coupon, don’t they know who I am? I’M VINCENT KENNEDY MCMAHON DAMMIT!
HHH: Relax, Vince, we’ll take care of it (to Sledgie who is in some kind of a carrier strapped to Steph’s back, wearing his Funaki earmuffs and Tajiri scarf) Won’t we?
(Sledgie as always, says nothing)
HHH: Right, just remember, I’ll handle it, you just watch my back.
Steph: Just relax, I don’t want you two causing a scene.
HHH: We’ll be fine. They just need to realize who the hell I am. Because I..AM.. THAT..DAMN…
Steph: (cutting him off) I said don’t cause a scene.
HHH: (grumbles)
Steph: What was that?
HHH: We’ll be perfectly reasonable.
Steph: OK, that’s fine.
(the PA system crackles to life)
JR: BAH GAWD, KING, POTTERY BARN IS OFFERING TWO FOR ONE SPECIALS ON SCENTED CANDLES!
Schiavone: (in the background) THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY IN THE HISTORY OF THESE GREAT CHRISTMAS SALES!
Don: THIS IS UN..BE...LEIVABLE!
JR: DAMN IT! SECURITY GET THEM OUT OF HERE!
King: Don't forget, Pet's 'n Such is having a sale on PUPPIES! I love puppies, with their cute little noses...
Gorilla: Will you stop?
(the PA system cuts off)
Vince: You know, I really should stop the pet store, Al has been such a great employee, he deserves a new dog.
Linda: I should…stop by….Pottery………….Barn, those deals sound……………..nice.
(Vince and Linda depart as HHH and Sledgie return, with HHH dragging what looks like Billy Kidman by the throat)
HHH: (punching Kidman in the head, and then smacking Sledgie into his ribs) You going to accept coupons you piece of crap?
Steph: Hold it, hold it, Hunter, stop, what are you doing?
HHH: Inquiring about their coupon policy.
Steph: There has to be a better way of doing that.
Kidman: (gasping for air) Come on man, I’ve got a wife, man, I’m just trying to make ends meet here.
HHH: (smashing him in the head with Sledgie again, sending the Funaki earmuffs sliding across the floor) You piece of crap, see what you did? You made him drop his earmuffs. (he tosses Sledgie to the ground and grabs Kidman, Pedigreeing him into the tile floor).
Michael Cole: (walking by) OH MY! Devastating maneuver, Tazz, HHH really planted him with that arm drag!
Tazz: (staring at Cole) Cole, that was a Pedigree you moron.
(The two continue walking)
Steph: (leaning down to pick up the earmuffs) Put him down, Hunter, we’ve got shopping to do.
HHH:: (tossing Kidman across the walkway, sending him slamming into a large kiosk full of Christmas plants, which topples a display shattering several flower pots)
Rhino: (from inside the kiosk) DAMN IT! Not again.
(Rhino exits his post, grabs Kidman, drags him atop the kiosk, and hits a Rhino Driver through the display)
Kiosk supervisor: (emerging from nearby kiosk) Rhino! What are you doing?
Rhino: Crowd control, this little punk…
Supervisor: (cutting him off) I told you, you ruin another display, and you’re fired, now turn in your ID button.
Rhino: (growling) Give me another chance or I’ll kill you.
Supervisor: Yeah, right, you’ve already done this five times, now get out.
Rhino: (throwing his ID button on the ground) Fine, I don’t need this, I quit. (he storms off)
Steph: (watching this display) We should go, come on you two.
HHH: (following) Man, it was just getting good. So where’s our first stop?
Steph: I need to pick up a few things for the creative team. We’re all going to wear matching outfits, to build unity.
HHH: (sarcastically) who’s brilliant idea was that?
Steph: The woman from Nickelodeon says that’s what worked so well there, I thought it would be a great idea.
HHH: Polka dots?
Steph: For the last time, it won’t be polka dots.
(HHH, Steph, and Sledgie enter the American Eagle shop)
Steph: I’m going to go see what I can find, you two have a seat over there. (she hands HHH her purse) and hold on to this for me, please.
HHH: Damn it, I hate holding your purse, it makes me look like an idiot.
Steph: You’ll be fine.
HHH: (to Sledgie) you shut up, it doesn’t make me look like a girl. (to Steph) See? He’s already making fun of me.
Steph: (from a nearby rack) You’ll be fine, no sit down and relax.
HHH: (taking a seat in a nearby chair, propping Sledgie up next to him) This is humiliating.
Charlie: (from the seat next to him) Man, you got off easy.
HHH: What are you doing here? And why are you carrying two purses?
Charlie: Shopping. And I’ve got two because Jackie and Rico decided to accessorize with each other. Like I said, you got lucky.
HHH: Yeah, I guess I did.
(from across the store, a large blonde man is standing at the counter ranting at the sales clerk).
Luger: And you tell Billy his shirts are too tight too!
Matt Morgan: I’m s-s-sorry, Sir, w-w-would you like to t-try on an-nother one?
Luger: What kind of disp-disgusting, lack of respect does that Billy-what’s-his-name show?
Matt: Sir, who’s B-Billy?
Luger: (snatching a shirt off the rack and storming off to the changing room. He tries to open it). And the door’s locked to! I’m pissed now! (he throws down the shirt and storms out of the store)
HHH: Damn, that guy’s way too tense.
Charlie: No kidding.
(Steph, Jackie, and Rico emerge from the other side of the store, carrying bags of clothes)
Steph: OK, just one more stop for us.
Jackie: I love Christmas shopping, it makes me feel all warm inside.
Rico: And the sales are amaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing! (he dances with his bags)
Charlie (standing and handing Rico and Jackie their purses) Here you go, can we go now?
Jackie: Sure, but don’t you want to see Santa?
Charlie: No, I don’t want to see Santa.
Rico: Oh come on, Charles, it will be fuuuuuuuuuuuun!
Charlie: Right, let’s go.
(the three of them depart)
Steph: That’s a great idea, isn’t it Hunter?
HHH: What is?
Steph: We could take Sledgie to see Santa.
HHH: Uh…okay?
Steph: Great, I’m glad we agree. We’ve just got a little more to do anyway.
HHH: What’s left?
Steph: I need to pick up some things from William Sonoma, that kitchen supply and cooking shop and then get this stuff wrapped.
HHH: OK, let’s finish the shopping part first.
(the head over to the last shop, entering to find a pair of salespeople standing in the middle of the store, glaring at each other. They turn and see the group enter, and immediately begin smiling)
Jeff: Welcome ya’ll to W-I-double L Ha Ha…
Chyna: Shut up, Jeff. Can we help you find something?
Steph: We’re looking for a new set of pots and pans for the kitchen. I guessed you guys would have the best deals.
Jeff: (continuing his greeting, oblivious to anything else) N-o (Ha ha)-M-A-Ha Ha. How can we help you?
Chyna: I already said that, Jeff, you always take too long. (to the group) The cooking supplies are right this way..
(Jeff and Chyna lead the way over to one side of the store filled with cookwear)
Chyna: This Teflon set is our most popular. It stays cool to the touch up to…
Steph: (interrupting) I don’t know, the color is all wrong for our kitchen. Do you have anything more neutral?
Jeff: I told you that one wouldn’t work.
Chyna: No you didn’t. (to the group) Sure, we have several designs, let me just set this one down. (she takes the pan and smacks Jeff in the face with it, knocking him back into a rack of coffee cups, nearly toppling them)
Jeff: Damn it, don’t piss me off!
Chyna: Whatever.
Jeff: (to Steph and HHH) Anyway, we’ve got a great deal on a new crock pot. (he holds it up), it has five different settings and holds twice as much.
HHH: I don’t think we need one of those, thanks though.
Jeff: No problem. (he smashes the crock pot over Chyna’s head, sending her down to one knee, then walks over behind the counter).
Chyna: That was a cheap shot. (to Steph) do you see anything that jumps out at you?
Steph: I think I like the set on the wall over there. (she points)
Chyna: That’s a great one, I have it myself. Should I ring it up for you?
HHH: Sure, that’d be great.
(Chyna picks up the box of cookware and walks to the counter. When she gets to the edge, Jeff pops up and smashes her over the head with a guitar).
Jeff: The sale is mine, cause I have all the stroke around here. Ain’t I great? Ha ha.
HHH: Uh…okaaaaaaaay. (he takes out the Game Wallet and pays for the pots).
Jeff: Thank you, and ya’ll have a M-e-double r….
Steph: (whispering) let’s get out of here)
(the trio depart and head for the free gift wrapping booth in the center of the mall)
HHH: (setting the box and numerous bags on the counter) We’d like these wrapped.
Eugene: I Eugene, I wrap presents, YAY! (he hurriedly begins tearing apart a roll of wrapping paper).
Sid: (to Eugene) Here, stupid, let me show you how it’s done. You’ve got to be smart about it, and I’m twice the man you are and have half the brains you do, wait…uh….can we start over?
Eugene: Nope, we’re live, YAY!
Sid: Damn it. (to HHH) here, let met get those. (he starts wrapping the gifts, but has trouble cutting the paper since he’s using a plastic knife from the food court)
Bischoff (from the side of the wrapping booth) You forget your scissors, Sid? (Sid ignores him and continues to wrap the gifts) I said, did you forget your scissors? (Sid continues to ignore him) Damn it, I’m leaving! (he storms off)
(Sid hands several of the wrapped packages to Eugene, who sets a bow on top and then elbows it to make it stick) YAY, I Eugene, I’m a Christmas elf, YAY!
Steph: (taking the presents and handing them to HHH) You sure are Eugene, these bows look great.
Eugene: YAY! (he waves a Shawn Michaels bear above his head)
(the trio departs with their now wrapped gifts, finding Flair standing near the Meet Santa booth holding his own blood soaked bags)
HHH: How’d your shopping go, Naitch?
Flair: Wooooooooooooooooooooo!
HHH: Great, you get anything for me?
Steph: Hunter! Stop it, you’ll find out on Christmas morning like everyone else.
Flair: Woooooooooooooooooooo!
HHH: Yeah, joy of the season, right.
(Steph walks Sledgie up to the front of the line)
Steph: (to one of the shorter men standing by the front) What do I need to do, just take him up myself?
Elf Porky: Que?
Steph: Uh….what do I do?
Elf Gigante: (from near the back, in a deep, booming, accented voice) I can take him up.
Steph: Great (she hands Sledgie over to Elf Gigante, who walks him over to “Santa”, who is wearing a red and white polka dotted outfit)
Santa Rhodes: Welcome to da mothasheeeeeeip, little fella, what you want from the big Chrissmus pay winda?
(Sledgie, as always says nothing)
Santa Rhodes: A new entrance and more opponents, huh? Ah s’pose we can work on ‘at. Might be a chore, kinda difficult if you weeeeeeeeeeeeeeel, but Ah’ll try.
(Sledgie remains silent)
(Eld Porky snaps a picture of Sledgie and Santa Rhodes with his Polaroid and hands it to Steph)
Steph: This is great, we’ve got our Christmas cards this year.
HHH: He’s going on Christmas cards? What about my idea?
Steph: We don’t need another card of you standing on a Hell in the Cell, it just doesn’t fit the season?
HHH: DAMN IT!
Woooo’s the Boss (episode 6)
(Scene opens in a local mall. The gang plus Vince and Linda, are doing some Christmas shopping)
HHH: I hate shopping this time of year, the malls are too crowded.
Steph: Oh, don’t be a grouch, this is fun.
Flair: Woooooooooooooooo!
Steph: Sure is, Naitch, but malls always turn the heat up. I guess maybe it makes people spend more money at the food courts or something.
Flair: Wooooooooooooo!
Steph: Yes, we can stop and get something cold to drink later, but Naitch, try to keep your clothes on, ok?
Flair: Wooooooooo!
HHH: So where are you heading Naitch?
Flair: Woooooooooooo!
HHH: Surprise huh? OK, makes sense I suppose, but you can tell me.
Steph: No he can’t, it wouldn’t be a surprise then. Have fun, Naitch.
Flair: Woooooooooo! (he struts off down one of the hallways, heading towards Robes R US”).
(Vince and Linda walk up, Linda carrying several bags. Vince power walks by her side, carrying what looks like a package of envelopes)
HHH: Find any deals?
Linda: Yes…there are…many…..specials.
Vince: Those ungrateful bastards at the Gap wouldn’t accept my coupon, don’t they know who I am? I’M VINCENT KENNEDY MCMAHON DAMMIT!
HHH: Relax, Vince, we’ll take care of it (to Sledgie who is in some kind of a carrier strapped to Steph’s back, wearing his Funaki earmuffs and Tajiri scarf) Won’t we?
(Sledgie as always, says nothing)
HHH: Right, just remember, I’ll handle it, you just watch my back.
Steph: Just relax, I don’t want you two causing a scene.
HHH: We’ll be fine. They just need to realize who the hell I am. Because I..AM.. THAT..DAMN…
Steph: (cutting him off) I said don’t cause a scene.
HHH: (grumbles)
Steph: What was that?
HHH: We’ll be perfectly reasonable.
Steph: OK, that’s fine.
(the PA system crackles to life)
JR: BAH GAWD, KING, POTTERY BARN IS OFFERING TWO FOR ONE SPECIALS ON SCENTED CANDLES!
Schiavone: (in the background) THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY IN THE HISTORY OF THESE GREAT CHRISTMAS SALES!
Don: THIS IS UN..BE...LEIVABLE!
JR: DAMN IT! SECURITY GET THEM OUT OF HERE!
King: Don't forget, Pet's 'n Such is having a sale on PUPPIES! I love puppies, with their cute little noses...
Gorilla: Will you stop?
(the PA system cuts off)
Vince: You know, I really should stop the pet store, Al has been such a great employee, he deserves a new dog.
Linda: I should…stop by….Pottery………….Barn, those deals sound……………..nice.
(Vince and Linda depart as HHH and Sledgie return, with HHH dragging what looks like Billy Kidman by the throat)
HHH: (punching Kidman in the head, and then smacking Sledgie into his ribs) You going to accept coupons you piece of crap?
Steph: Hold it, hold it, Hunter, stop, what are you doing?
HHH: Inquiring about their coupon policy.
Steph: There has to be a better way of doing that.
Kidman: (gasping for air) Come on man, I’ve got a wife, man, I’m just trying to make ends meet here.
HHH: (smashing him in the head with Sledgie again, sending the Funaki earmuffs sliding across the floor) You piece of crap, see what you did? You made him drop his earmuffs. (he tosses Sledgie to the ground and grabs Kidman, Pedigreeing him into the tile floor).
Michael Cole: (walking by) OH MY! Devastating maneuver, Tazz, HHH really planted him with that arm drag!
Tazz: (staring at Cole) Cole, that was a Pedigree you moron.
(The two continue walking)
Steph: (leaning down to pick up the earmuffs) Put him down, Hunter, we’ve got shopping to do.
HHH:: (tossing Kidman across the walkway, sending him slamming into a large kiosk full of Christmas plants, which topples a display shattering several flower pots)
Rhino: (from inside the kiosk) DAMN IT! Not again.
(Rhino exits his post, grabs Kidman, drags him atop the kiosk, and hits a Rhino Driver through the display)
Kiosk supervisor: (emerging from nearby kiosk) Rhino! What are you doing?
Rhino: Crowd control, this little punk…
Supervisor: (cutting him off) I told you, you ruin another display, and you’re fired, now turn in your ID button.
Rhino: (growling) Give me another chance or I’ll kill you.
Supervisor: Yeah, right, you’ve already done this five times, now get out.
Rhino: (throwing his ID button on the ground) Fine, I don’t need this, I quit. (he storms off)
Steph: (watching this display) We should go, come on you two.
HHH: (following) Man, it was just getting good. So where’s our first stop?
Steph: I need to pick up a few things for the creative team. We’re all going to wear matching outfits, to build unity.
HHH: (sarcastically) who’s brilliant idea was that?
Steph: The woman from Nickelodeon says that’s what worked so well there, I thought it would be a great idea.
HHH: Polka dots?
Steph: For the last time, it won’t be polka dots.
(HHH, Steph, and Sledgie enter the American Eagle shop)
Steph: I’m going to go see what I can find, you two have a seat over there. (she hands HHH her purse) and hold on to this for me, please.
HHH: Damn it, I hate holding your purse, it makes me look like an idiot.
Steph: You’ll be fine.
HHH: (to Sledgie) you shut up, it doesn’t make me look like a girl. (to Steph) See? He’s already making fun of me.
Steph: (from a nearby rack) You’ll be fine, no sit down and relax.
HHH: (taking a seat in a nearby chair, propping Sledgie up next to him) This is humiliating.
Charlie: (from the seat next to him) Man, you got off easy.
HHH: What are you doing here? And why are you carrying two purses?
Charlie: Shopping. And I’ve got two because Jackie and Rico decided to accessorize with each other. Like I said, you got lucky.
HHH: Yeah, I guess I did.
(from across the store, a large blonde man is standing at the counter ranting at the sales clerk).
Luger: And you tell Billy his shirts are too tight too!
Matt Morgan: I’m s-s-sorry, Sir, w-w-would you like to t-try on an-nother one?
Luger: What kind of disp-disgusting, lack of respect does that Billy-what’s-his-name show?
Matt: Sir, who’s B-Billy?
Luger: (snatching a shirt off the rack and storming off to the changing room. He tries to open it). And the door’s locked to! I’m pissed now! (he throws down the shirt and storms out of the store)
HHH: Damn, that guy’s way too tense.
Charlie: No kidding.
(Steph, Jackie, and Rico emerge from the other side of the store, carrying bags of clothes)
Steph: OK, just one more stop for us.
Jackie: I love Christmas shopping, it makes me feel all warm inside.
Rico: And the sales are amaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing! (he dances with his bags)
Charlie (standing and handing Rico and Jackie their purses) Here you go, can we go now?
Jackie: Sure, but don’t you want to see Santa?
Charlie: No, I don’t want to see Santa.
Rico: Oh come on, Charles, it will be fuuuuuuuuuuuun!
Charlie: Right, let’s go.
(the three of them depart)
Steph: That’s a great idea, isn’t it Hunter?
HHH: What is?
Steph: We could take Sledgie to see Santa.
HHH: Uh…okay?
Steph: Great, I’m glad we agree. We’ve just got a little more to do anyway.
HHH: What’s left?
Steph: I need to pick up some things from William Sonoma, that kitchen supply and cooking shop and then get this stuff wrapped.
HHH: OK, let’s finish the shopping part first.
(the head over to the last shop, entering to find a pair of salespeople standing in the middle of the store, glaring at each other. They turn and see the group enter, and immediately begin smiling)
Jeff: Welcome ya’ll to W-I-double L Ha Ha…
Chyna: Shut up, Jeff. Can we help you find something?
Steph: We’re looking for a new set of pots and pans for the kitchen. I guessed you guys would have the best deals.
Jeff: (continuing his greeting, oblivious to anything else) N-o (Ha ha)-M-A-Ha Ha. How can we help you?
Chyna: I already said that, Jeff, you always take too long. (to the group) The cooking supplies are right this way..
(Jeff and Chyna lead the way over to one side of the store filled with cookwear)
Chyna: This Teflon set is our most popular. It stays cool to the touch up to…
Steph: (interrupting) I don’t know, the color is all wrong for our kitchen. Do you have anything more neutral?
Jeff: I told you that one wouldn’t work.
Chyna: No you didn’t. (to the group) Sure, we have several designs, let me just set this one down. (she takes the pan and smacks Jeff in the face with it, knocking him back into a rack of coffee cups, nearly toppling them)
Jeff: Damn it, don’t piss me off!
Chyna: Whatever.
Jeff: (to Steph and HHH) Anyway, we’ve got a great deal on a new crock pot. (he holds it up), it has five different settings and holds twice as much.
HHH: I don’t think we need one of those, thanks though.
Jeff: No problem. (he smashes the crock pot over Chyna’s head, sending her down to one knee, then walks over behind the counter).
Chyna: That was a cheap shot. (to Steph) do you see anything that jumps out at you?
Steph: I think I like the set on the wall over there. (she points)
Chyna: That’s a great one, I have it myself. Should I ring it up for you?
HHH: Sure, that’d be great.
(Chyna picks up the box of cookware and walks to the counter. When she gets to the edge, Jeff pops up and smashes her over the head with a guitar).
Jeff: The sale is mine, cause I have all the stroke around here. Ain’t I great? Ha ha.
HHH: Uh…okaaaaaaaay. (he takes out the Game Wallet and pays for the pots).
Jeff: Thank you, and ya’ll have a M-e-double r….
Steph: (whispering) let’s get out of here)
(the trio depart and head for the free gift wrapping booth in the center of the mall)
HHH: (setting the box and numerous bags on the counter) We’d like these wrapped.
Eugene: I Eugene, I wrap presents, YAY! (he hurriedly begins tearing apart a roll of wrapping paper).
Sid: (to Eugene) Here, stupid, let me show you how it’s done. You’ve got to be smart about it, and I’m twice the man you are and have half the brains you do, wait…uh….can we start over?
Eugene: Nope, we’re live, YAY!
Sid: Damn it. (to HHH) here, let met get those. (he starts wrapping the gifts, but has trouble cutting the paper since he’s using a plastic knife from the food court)
Bischoff (from the side of the wrapping booth) You forget your scissors, Sid? (Sid ignores him and continues to wrap the gifts) I said, did you forget your scissors? (Sid continues to ignore him) Damn it, I’m leaving! (he storms off)
(Sid hands several of the wrapped packages to Eugene, who sets a bow on top and then elbows it to make it stick) YAY, I Eugene, I’m a Christmas elf, YAY!
Steph: (taking the presents and handing them to HHH) You sure are Eugene, these bows look great.
Eugene: YAY! (he waves a Shawn Michaels bear above his head)
(the trio departs with their now wrapped gifts, finding Flair standing near the Meet Santa booth holding his own blood soaked bags)
HHH: How’d your shopping go, Naitch?
Flair: Wooooooooooooooooooooo!
HHH: Great, you get anything for me?
Steph: Hunter! Stop it, you’ll find out on Christmas morning like everyone else.
Flair: Woooooooooooooooooooo!
HHH: Yeah, joy of the season, right.
(Steph walks Sledgie up to the front of the line)
Steph: (to one of the shorter men standing by the front) What do I need to do, just take him up myself?
Elf Porky: Que?
Steph: Uh….what do I do?
Elf Gigante: (from near the back, in a deep, booming, accented voice) I can take him up.
Steph: Great (she hands Sledgie over to Elf Gigante, who walks him over to “Santa”, who is wearing a red and white polka dotted outfit)
Santa Rhodes: Welcome to da mothasheeeeeeip, little fella, what you want from the big Chrissmus pay winda?
(Sledgie, as always says nothing)
Santa Rhodes: A new entrance and more opponents, huh? Ah s’pose we can work on ‘at. Might be a chore, kinda difficult if you weeeeeeeeeeeeeeel, but Ah’ll try.
(Sledgie remains silent)
(Eld Porky snaps a picture of Sledgie and Santa Rhodes with his Polaroid and hands it to Steph)
Steph: This is great, we’ve got our Christmas cards this year.
HHH: He’s going on Christmas cards? What about my idea?
Steph: We don’t need another card of you standing on a Hell in the Cell, it just doesn’t fit the season?
HHH: DAMN IT!
