The thread where we talk like noir detectives.

[The Sam]

Something wasn't quite right. Maybe it was the stench of a new thread being posted or the lingering feeling that said thread would be more baron than an ashtray in a kindergarten. Either way, my creative writing course was looking to be worth every penny.
Suddenly someone else entered the thread. Maybe they were just looking to see this terrible nightmare first hand. Or maybe they would post something that could crack this case wide open. There was only one way to find out...

[Deleted]

I entered the thread and immediately knew something wasn't right. Maybe it was the font settings, maybe it was the cookie settings, maybe it was because I don't have an avatar yet, or maybe it was the moderator sitting across the room from me with a cigarette in his mouth, a gun in his hand and a look on his face that seemed to say, "Go ahead, you newb, give me your best shot."

[Nikki Heyman]

A glance above me and I see him - the newbie. Always the newbies showing up, grabbing attention in these threads. I should know, wasn't too long ago I was a newbie myself. But newbies need to be watched.... from a distance. Never know when one will "troll out" and that ban hammer's pretty big.... collateral damage isn't what I'd want on my death certificate.

[aka Cthulhu]

It was like dancing with the devil in the pale moonlight. There was always something interesting about entering a new thread... feeling that new ground crunch under my feet. I knew in a second that this place would become infamous. All it needed was a lack of pants.

[Clash, Never a Meter Maid]

The metallic grey skin of the page gave off a damp, cold feel. Anything could be around the corner, a filter dodge, religious reference, an embedded video against the rules.

It's always the same with the newer posters. They talk a good game, make you think they've buzzed the books and are on the up and up, and then they stab you in the back quicker than Brutus. Either they've dove headfirst into the sauce and don't know what they've posted, or they've lost their way and fallen into that internet drama trap.

She's like heroin, internet drama. She makes you feel high and mighty for a few crazy nights, then you wake up one morning and you find yourself with a warning, that lipstick trace you can never wash off- a scarlet letter with a kiss.

[Johnny B. Decent]

It was a difficult descision. Only two choices, yet it still was so hard. On one hand, you had the buffalo wings, twelve pieces, six legs, six wings, all drenched in spicy buffalo sauce, ranch on the side if you needed it. On the other, was the pan pizza. It was a good size, fit for one guy, nice and tasty with the pepperoni and the sausage.

But, no matter what, I could only choose one. I made a difficult desicion that night as I ate those wings. Not a day goes by when I wonder what happened if I went with the pan pizza.

["Gentleman" AJ Powell]

I drag myself off the floor, the cold glare of the screen burning my eyes like unholy fire. Then I see what's on the screen. FAN Forums. A wretched hive of scum and villainy if I ever saw one. But the only place that'd let a washed up, addict ex cop like me post without being judged.

I come to ogle the women in the Divas thread, like some sort of digital strip joint, but I stay for the conversation.

For every thread about jerking off or SuperSweet talking about his ass, there's a light, a beacon in the darkness of light that is life. A brief moment of harmony between posters, with rationality and love being shown, something unseen outside of the internet. The only thing that keeps me going.