Post by MasonK565 on Nov 10, 2012 22:26:44 GMT -5
Guys, I don't comment much on Off-topic, as I am more of a Forum Games guy. I just need to vent. I have people to vent to but I would like to vent on here and see what you guys say or think.
I am 18, and in my first year of college. I have been dating my girlfriend, 19, for a year and a half, and I will call her Lon.
I originally had a crush on her at the age of 15. I was too much of a panzy to do anything, and it turned out she liked me too. Well, her best friend took a liking for me and made a move on me. I was with her best friend for 11 months. This ended as we did not mesh well and near the end, I was tired of dealing with her and began to realize I still might have feelings for Lon. I broke up with her in a bad way, over text. I intended to talk face to face, never happened.
Anyways, after the break, I met up with Lon again. We bonded over a youth group field trip over spring break (with my ex/her former best friend present, yikes). After that dramatic week, we realized we had feelings for each other. We were somewhat hesitant though, as she was leaving for college next year. It turned out that we planned on going to the same college so we decided to get together,
So, for the rest of that school year, the spring and early summer of 2011, we started off our relationship and really bonded cruising into summer and the fall. It was during this time, I realized that I loved her.
Heading into Fall 2011, she moved up to KU and I stayed at my home for senior year. She was only 3 hours away, and that really isn't that bad. She came down every other weekend because she hated being away from me. We would text a lot and would call frequently. When she was upset and had a hard time transitioning to college, she would call me, and I would listen. This was on a weekly basis, lol.
In December, I f***ed up. I played a card game called "Suck and Blow" which involved sucking on a card and passing it from mouth to mouth. I was bored as it was the last day of school and there were more guys than girls. I said what the hell. Unfortunately, my top lip landed on another girls top lip on two separate occasions. She was also physically attractive, and that made matters worse. I told Lon and she was hurt.
Not that big of a deal but two us, who had not only been together that long and how much trust we had, it was a setback. And honestly, it means nothing anymore. I bring this story up for a tale in the future.
Summer comes and she moves back. He have a blast and love each other. While yes, we had arguments like most couples kinda frequently, they were always over small things and we moved on from them easily because they did not matter.
This school year, at KU, things changed. She made friends with my friend on group in my floor. She lives two floors above me. She started to go partying, and taking part in drinking. It is not abusive, as she is just a social drinker but it was different change compared to what she was before. I, myself, don't drink and don't enjoy clubs. I like house parties but not dance clubs or bars. Just not for me. She slowly begins to show less interest in me for them and the new college lifestyle.
Things come to a head on a night (Fall 2012), when I am at a cafe with two fellow FAN users nickcave and Be{N}. She goes out drinking at 'The Cave.' She suddenly apologies to me and says she is sorry. I ask why and tell her she did nothing wrong, just having a good night.
The next night, while we are cuddly in her room, she begins to cry for no reason. I ask why and she just cries. I am concerned.
The next day, we drive back to home for fall break. When she drops me off she tells me she grinded with one of my best friends while she was drunk.
I am devastated. I personally hate grinding and would never grind with another girl, especially while I have a girlfriend. We argue all weekend. I do cute things for her to show I still love her and she did nothing to make up for it. She cried and felt terrible. I stayed with her as I say this is her second chance and we are even now from the card game (look above) and I still loved her.
As time goes on from this incident, we began to fight more and she begins to push herself away from me. She becomes less intimate with me and gives me several cold shoulders over offers of passion (we are still virgins). She said it is because she is afraid to get close to me again after the pain we have been through. I even became a dick and would give one sentence put downs towards he in front of our friends when she would choose them over me.
Then, I decide to go out with her friends. At 'The Cave,' our friends push me to dance with her. I offer but I get a cold shoulder. She says no. I feel angry as she will grind with another but not me. I am offended. She said it was because she knows I don't enjoy that (I don't) and says we are not like that. We aren't but I was that desperate for affection asked.
Arguments take head and it becomes obvious she is confused. About a lot of things. She doesn't know what she wants to do in life yet, which is reasonable as she is 19. She says she loves me but doesn't know what she wants right now. She is afraid of commitment (as most young women) and tells me this. She says she feels terrible for making me feel like crap because of her indecisiveness and confusion. She would rather go out and have fun.
She tells me she loves and says I treat her better than anyone else (as I do) and I begin to push her to do what she wants. She asks for space and so I offer it to her. I say she needs to break up with me for a bit or change the way she treats me, as she realizes her lack of confidence and confusion is inflicting upon me.
She decided to break up with me today. She said she still loves me and has no interest in other men. She said she is focused on 'herself' and not other guys. I am fine with this and let it happen.
We are extremely close, and we are best friends. I love her more than anything in the world. We have gone through a lot together, and I have stayed passionately in love with her through the whole period. I have given her everything and done everything to help her find herself and be happy.
I am torn apart by this decision and in a great amount of pain. I love her, and the thought of not having her makes me extremely sad and feeling worthless.
Did I do the right thing? What are people's thoughts?
I am 18, and in my first year of college. I have been dating my girlfriend, 19, for a year and a half, and I will call her Lon.
I originally had a crush on her at the age of 15. I was too much of a panzy to do anything, and it turned out she liked me too. Well, her best friend took a liking for me and made a move on me. I was with her best friend for 11 months. This ended as we did not mesh well and near the end, I was tired of dealing with her and began to realize I still might have feelings for Lon. I broke up with her in a bad way, over text. I intended to talk face to face, never happened.
Anyways, after the break, I met up with Lon again. We bonded over a youth group field trip over spring break (with my ex/her former best friend present, yikes). After that dramatic week, we realized we had feelings for each other. We were somewhat hesitant though, as she was leaving for college next year. It turned out that we planned on going to the same college so we decided to get together,
So, for the rest of that school year, the spring and early summer of 2011, we started off our relationship and really bonded cruising into summer and the fall. It was during this time, I realized that I loved her.
Heading into Fall 2011, she moved up to KU and I stayed at my home for senior year. She was only 3 hours away, and that really isn't that bad. She came down every other weekend because she hated being away from me. We would text a lot and would call frequently. When she was upset and had a hard time transitioning to college, she would call me, and I would listen. This was on a weekly basis, lol.
In December, I f***ed up. I played a card game called "Suck and Blow" which involved sucking on a card and passing it from mouth to mouth. I was bored as it was the last day of school and there were more guys than girls. I said what the hell. Unfortunately, my top lip landed on another girls top lip on two separate occasions. She was also physically attractive, and that made matters worse. I told Lon and she was hurt.
Not that big of a deal but two us, who had not only been together that long and how much trust we had, it was a setback. And honestly, it means nothing anymore. I bring this story up for a tale in the future.
Summer comes and she moves back. He have a blast and love each other. While yes, we had arguments like most couples kinda frequently, they were always over small things and we moved on from them easily because they did not matter.
This school year, at KU, things changed. She made friends with my friend on group in my floor. She lives two floors above me. She started to go partying, and taking part in drinking. It is not abusive, as she is just a social drinker but it was different change compared to what she was before. I, myself, don't drink and don't enjoy clubs. I like house parties but not dance clubs or bars. Just not for me. She slowly begins to show less interest in me for them and the new college lifestyle.
Things come to a head on a night (Fall 2012), when I am at a cafe with two fellow FAN users nickcave and Be{N}. She goes out drinking at 'The Cave.' She suddenly apologies to me and says she is sorry. I ask why and tell her she did nothing wrong, just having a good night.
The next night, while we are cuddly in her room, she begins to cry for no reason. I ask why and she just cries. I am concerned.
The next day, we drive back to home for fall break. When she drops me off she tells me she grinded with one of my best friends while she was drunk.
I am devastated. I personally hate grinding and would never grind with another girl, especially while I have a girlfriend. We argue all weekend. I do cute things for her to show I still love her and she did nothing to make up for it. She cried and felt terrible. I stayed with her as I say this is her second chance and we are even now from the card game (look above) and I still loved her.
As time goes on from this incident, we began to fight more and she begins to push herself away from me. She becomes less intimate with me and gives me several cold shoulders over offers of passion (we are still virgins). She said it is because she is afraid to get close to me again after the pain we have been through. I even became a dick and would give one sentence put downs towards he in front of our friends when she would choose them over me.
Then, I decide to go out with her friends. At 'The Cave,' our friends push me to dance with her. I offer but I get a cold shoulder. She says no. I feel angry as she will grind with another but not me. I am offended. She said it was because she knows I don't enjoy that (I don't) and says we are not like that. We aren't but I was that desperate for affection asked.
Arguments take head and it becomes obvious she is confused. About a lot of things. She doesn't know what she wants to do in life yet, which is reasonable as she is 19. She says she loves me but doesn't know what she wants right now. She is afraid of commitment (as most young women) and tells me this. She says she feels terrible for making me feel like crap because of her indecisiveness and confusion. She would rather go out and have fun.
She tells me she loves and says I treat her better than anyone else (as I do) and I begin to push her to do what she wants. She asks for space and so I offer it to her. I say she needs to break up with me for a bit or change the way she treats me, as she realizes her lack of confidence and confusion is inflicting upon me.
She decided to break up with me today. She said she still loves me and has no interest in other men. She said she is focused on 'herself' and not other guys. I am fine with this and let it happen.
We are extremely close, and we are best friends. I love her more than anything in the world. We have gone through a lot together, and I have stayed passionately in love with her through the whole period. I have given her everything and done everything to help her find herself and be happy.
I am torn apart by this decision and in a great amount of pain. I love her, and the thought of not having her makes me extremely sad and feeling worthless.
Did I do the right thing? What are people's thoughts?
