Life Eats

[bigmackdaddy]

I'm 26, yet I feel as if I've never been alive. I can't recall any positive memories, just pain and drudgery. I feel trapped on the sidelines forced to watch the world go by, looking on with envious contempt of those having the ride of their lives. Every day that stretches on is another hazy gray at best, a real downer at worst. My reprieve comes not from happiness, but from the next chemical dampener. I'm not suicidal, just downtrodden and idle with seemingly no way up and on, just down and out. What is the point of life when it rewards so few, yet leaves most of us cold and blue.

[Hurbster]

You need a Terry's Chocolate Orange, mate.

[bigmackdaddy]

I've already had three bottles of wine. Chocolates seem excessive.

[Push R Truth]

Jan 3, 2013 14:17:25 GMT -5 bigmackdaddy said:

I've already had three bottles of wine. Chocolates seem excessive.

I hope you also consider 3 bottles of wine before 3 in the afternoon to be excessive as well.




Random question, have to ever looked for fun? Or are you sitting back and hoping it just happens to you.

I waited years for fun once. Never again.

[BlackoutCreature]

Not to belittle your problems, I do hope you work everything out, but man these threads are showing up more and more lately. I'm thinking the mods should just make a "Life is Crap" thread and sticky it.

[bigmackdaddy]

I feel as though I'm constantly obsessed with what others are doing, or where they are going, and not really focusing on my own direction. I used to browse facebook until the constant bombardment of achievements and destinations visited by former classmates and family left me the envious, bitter, angry man I am now. While they left I remained inside my little box, comparing myself to their accomplishments because I had, and still have nothing of my own, but the resentment and inadequacy brought on by success that is not mine. My days are spent in perpetual self pity, and obsession over how I might follow their tail fumes by copying what they did, or going where they went, not because I wanted to, but because I thought if they did then I should be able to do it. As I type this, I have no real achievements; no ambition other than to prevent others from doing what they want, lest it hurt me; no feeling other than bitter envy, and deep sadness. My only hope is to someday one up them, and have something to rub in their faces. I'm empty, I don't exist, I'm defined by how others make me feel, and I have nothing of my own. How can I break this cycle, and find my own path?

[Big Daddy Bad Booking]

Jan 3, 2013 13:32:20 GMT -5 bigmackdaddy said:

I'm 26, yet I feel as if I've never been alive. I can't recall any positive memories, just pain and drudgery. I feel trapped on the sidelines forced to watch the world go by, looking on with envious contempt of those having the ride of their lives. Every day that stretches on is another hazy gray at best, a real downer at worst. My reprieve comes not from happiness, but from the next chemical dampener. I'm not suicidal, just downtrodden and idle with seemingly no way up and on, just down and out. What is the point of life when it rewards so few, yet leaves most of us cold and blue.

I have A LOT of these same sentiments. Two things helped me cope with this: 1. Take life day by day. 2. Zombieland rule: Enjoy the little things. Between that and some developments, life gets better. Hang in there dude, and don't mix those pills with alcohol!

[aka Cthulhu]

Changing oneself is often that hardest thing to do. Firstly, there is the problem with routine. A person can be so set in their loathing and lack of confidence that deep down it becomes the norm. Even a bit of self-improvement is out there in unfamiliar territory, so it becomes hard to understand the long-term effects; sometimes it works out, sometimes it does not. It's not easy to have peers and feel that they have achieved more, and better things than you do. Also, there's the matter of getting out of your comfort zones. Again, routine rears its ugly head. One of the hardest things about changing for the better is due to having to sacrifice some of the current things that make us feel better.

In the end, it's a matter of sacrifice. Like exercise, or going on a diet. The goal to self-improvement is long, and constantly extending itself. The path requires you to seek out your better side, and sometimes finding it. Like... if you want to be smarter, then study, or work out if you want to be more healthy. It's a lot more complex than that, of course, but the point is that if you have a need to improve, you go on out and find what you need to do, and do it. It's never a straight line towards the goal, but it's a matter of patience.

Someone had already said that you should look for fun instead of waiting for it. That is pretty much true. Satisfaction of one's life is never permanent - it is a state that you have to maintain and care for. There are ups, and downs, and its up to you to seek which place you want to go.