hassanchop
Grimlock
Who are you to doubt Belldandy?
Posts: 14,789 
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Post by hassanchop on Jan 25, 2013 16:07:50 GMT -5
Nah, sell him for scrap metal. We need to buy a whole new version. We could always melt him and mold him into something new and shiny! Just like how Godfather melted the Undertaker's urn into a gold chain. |
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Post by Super Nintenjoe KBD on Jan 25, 2013 16:12:27 GMT -5
Double turn with Daniel Bryan with a Bella in every (each) corner!
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SEAN CARLESS
Hank Scorpio
More of a B+ player, actually
I'm Necessary Evil.
Posts: 5,770
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Post by SEAN CARLESS on Jan 25, 2013 21:02:20 GMT -5
Can't we just "fix" the IWC instead? That would imply that there's nothing wrong with Cena's character. And a person would have to be insane to think that. |
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Reflecto
Hank Scorpio
The Sorceress' Knight
Posts: 6,847
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Post by Reflecto on Jan 25, 2013 21:07:43 GMT -5
Loan him to Ring of Honor for a one-off huge match with Steen. Whether he wins or loses, he comes back on WWE and it's never mentioned on TV- but the fact that Cena worked in ROH will inherently make the smarks go gaga over him forevermore.
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Post by Mr. Socko's Brother on Jan 25, 2013 23:06:56 GMT -5
It's been mentioned before that there are fewer IWC members who don't like Cena than there are kids who mark for him and pester their parents to buy hundreds of dollars worth of merch, so it's worth asking the question:
"Can you fix him in a way that will appeal to the IWC and yet not hurt WWE's bottom line?"
I believe you can.
When Cena was hurt, he was assigned to help Ryback get over. That's what he was trying to do in all of his promos, and he was successful at it.
If I wanted to fix Cena it would take a while, but the first thing I would do would be to have him do the same for another guy that he did for Ryback.
To pick somebody from NXT at random, let's say he's assigned to put over Kassius Ohno. This would mean turning Ohno face, of course.
Maybe Ohno debuts, demolishes a string of opponents, and Cena is impressed by him. He tells Ohno as much, and takes Ohno under his wing. Cena forms a tag team with him, and the two of them have one another's back when they aren't tagging together. Cena regularly emphasizes what a tough opponent Ohno is before any big match of Ohno's.
Important: in the tag matches, have the Ohno/Cena team win via a double team move. That way, it won't ever look like Cena won the match for Ohno, and it'll make both men look good. As a matter of fact, have them use the Helicopter Crash like the Kings Of Wrestlign used to. Cena's probably capable of doing a giant swing without f***ing it up.
At some point, Cena challenges for either the WWE title or WHC once again. He loses, clean. He's frustrated.
The very next day, on Raw, Cena issues a challenge to the tag team champions. He and Ohno want their belts.
Start a month-long program between the Ohno/Cena team and the heel champions. The heels try to sow dissension in the ranks (can two people qualify as "ranks"?) of their opponents. During an in-ring confrontation between the two teams, they tell Ohno that Cena has been using him from the beginning. That Cena only has so many good years left in him and he's a shadow of his former self. That he issued the challenge for the tag titles because he just tried to win a championship on his own and failed, and the only way he can win anything at this point in his career is if somebody else carries him to it.
An enraged Cena attacks the heels. The two teams brawl, and the heels eventually get thrown out of the ring.
Perhaps notably, Cena doesn't actually say that the accusations aren't true.
At the PPV, during the championship match, Cena's in the ring dominating, and Ohno holds his hand out for a tag. Cena blows him off, saying he's got things under control. This doesn't work out well, as the heels retake control, hit a finisher on Cena, and pick up the win.
After the match, Cena starts yelling at Ohno. Ohno's visibly trying to keep from losing his temper while also trying to calm his partner down. Cena just gets angrier and angrier...and then he sucker-punches Ohno.
What follows is a brutal beatdown. Cena has completely snapped, and just keeps on beating on Ohno until a small army of officials pulls him off and pulls him out of the ring.
If everything's gone according to plan so far, Ohno should be just as over as Cena, and his own merch should be selling well. So now WWE can afford to turn Cena heel.
Cena goes out to the ring on Raw the next night, pissed. He gets a mic and tells everybody that thanks to his partner screwing things up and distracting him during their tag title match, he lost. He's entitled to hold a championship, dammit! He deserves it because he's John Cena! He's carried this company for the last ten years, everybody knows he's the best, and nobody can ever beat him unless they cheat...or unless he makes the mistake of teaming with an idiot like Kassius Ohno.
Naturally, this brings out Ohno, and he's not real happy. He cuts his own promo on Cena. Kassius doesn't know what the hell is wrong with Cena, but he's changed, and what's more, he's dead wrong. Ohno says that anybody who's followed his career knows damn well that he excels at wrestling, both singles competition and tag team. Ohno says that for an "idiot", he's beaten a lot of good wrestlers in WWE, and that most of the time when Cena and him were tagging together they had no problem beating their opponents.
He asks Cena if what the heels said was true. Because he wonders if it was. Maybe deep down, Cena felt that the sun was setting on his career, and that the only way he could stay relevant and successful was by associating himself with somebody younger and better.
"You are NOT better than ME!" Cena screams, and attacks Ohno again, but this time Ohno is ready. The two of them brawl all over the ringside area before security separates them.
This will be the start of a three-month-long program between the two, with matches at each PPV.
Kassius Ohno wins the first match via small package. Cena is incensed that he was pinned, and starts another brawl with Ohno after the match.
After that, Cena becomes more unhinged, and rails that he is still the best, that Ohno cheated to beat him by grabbing a handful of his shorts (blatant lies), that nobody can ever possibly beat him unless they cheat! He demands a rematch. Ohno, for his part, is tired of listening to John Cena complain. He shows Cena the replay of the pinfall. Cena, however, is completely deluded and insists that the evidence is right there on the TitanTron, that everybody can see Ohno cheating in the replay. Ohno tells him that he's lost his mind. Cena tells Ohno that if he's got any balls, he'll accept a rematch. Ohno is glad to, because he feels he still owes Cena a receipt from that first beatdown.
Cena pleads his case to whoever the GM is at the time, asking for a no DQ match, rationalizing it by claiming that Ohno is going to try to cheat again, and a no DQ match will allow Cena to fight just as dirty as his opponent does.
Ohno, for his part, agrees to it--not because he habitually cheats, but because he wants to prove that he can beat Cena even on Cena's own terms. Ohno almost says that Cena will be counting the lights at night's end, but stops himself and says that no, Cena won't be counting the lights because after Kassius hits him with the KO everything will go dark for him, and Ohno will pick up the 1-2-3 a second time.
The no DQ nature of the match means that it's brutal and bloody as f***, and of course it also means that Cena can break out his old chain, which he ultimately uses to clock Ohno not just once, not twice, but three times, and then pin him for the three.
Cena's really pleased with himself the next night. Imagine the most irritating aspects of the current Cena's celebrations cranked up to eleven, with some heelish mannerisms thrown in like gloating and lying about how well he did (describing the match as a complete squash of Ohno when it was back and forth). Cena says that obviously he's just as great as he's always been, and that he deserves a shot at the WWE title, and that he'll easily win and hold the gold again. Nobody deserves it more than him, he says, and he ORDERS the GM to give him what's rightfully his.
The GM begs to differ, as the #1 contender has already been decided and Cena can't just get the shot because he demands it. But the GM schedules a four man tournament to decide the next number one contender. John Cena, Big Show, Alberto Del Rio...and Kassius Ohno.
Cue the heel outrage from Cena, the raging against the allegedly unjust inclusion of Ohno in the tournament, etc.
Cena goes over ADR, albeit through the use of his chain again when the ref isn't looking. Ohno goes over Show.
Ohno and Cena will face one another at the next PPV in an "I Quit" match.
Cena brags that he's never lost an "I Quit" match before, and he never will. He tells Ohno that if he knows what's good for him, he'll say he quits right at the opening bell.
Ohno acknowledges that once again, he'll be fighting on a battlefield Cena's comfortable with. But if Cena wants to be honest for once, with the fans and with himself, then Cena will say that he has doubts. He's had doubts for a while, and he should have doubts, because nothing lasts forever. Obviously John Cena's sanity hasn't lasted, and John Cena's dominance over the WWE landscape won't last either. Ohno says that on Sunday, in order to win he needs to force John Cena to admit something out loud, something that he wants to deny more than life itself. He needs to force Cena to admit that there are people who can beat him straight up and that he, Kassius Ohno, is one of those people.
The match is another incredibly violent affair, with the advantage going back and forth. (No "heel tortures the face for most of the match" bulls*** like Cena's other "I Quit" matches.) Cena almost makes Ohno quit, with Ohno saying "I...I q---NO, NO, I DON'T QUIT, YOU'LL HAVE TO DO MORE THAN THAT YOU SON OF A BITCH!" And finally, because of the Seven Year Rule, Ohno uses a sharp piece of wood (a la Magnum TA vs. Tully Blanchard) to force Cena to scream "ALL RIGHT, DAMN YOU, I QUIT! I QUIT!"
Ohno goes on to win the WWE title, take over as the top babyface in the company, and sell a ton of merch. Now, he'll lose, and sometimes he'll lose clean, because the day of the boring invincible hero will be over. But he'll win more often than not, and that's all he needs to do.
John Cena will remain a heel for the rest of his career. How will losing his first "I Quit" match ever affect him? I'd have to think about that some more, but for now let's say that it makes him even more frustrated and unstable, and that will be bad for the person he feuds with after Ohno because Cena is just going to be the Jake Roberts to that person's Randy Savage.
Sorry that this got so long. Didn't realize I'd write so much when I started the post. But hopefully I at least made it good reading, and hopefully the Cena in this story would be more watchable than the Cena we have now.
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metylerca
King Koopa
Loves Him Some Backstreet Boys.
Don't be alarmed.
Posts: 12,477
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Post by metylerca on Jan 25, 2013 23:08:48 GMT -5
Can't we just "fix" the IWC instead? That would imply that there's nothing wrong with Cena's character. And a person would have to be insane to think that. Or just not have a problem with him. My idea to fix Cena, I think he should debut two tone shirts. Imagine, TWICE the color on his shirts. Fans wouldn't know how to react, it'd get them to cheer on accident. |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jan 25, 2013 23:09:55 GMT -5
Give him a mega intense gimmick where he's just f***ing full on all the time, kinda like he's off his s*** on coke all the time. Also make his catchphrase "You better make a wish, cause you're gonna die soon!" I know it's 4am on a Saturday morning after a heavy night, but I just spat water everywhere, this is where it should go. Hustle Loyalty Cocaine Cena would start the next boom period. |
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Post by Citizen Grimm on Jan 26, 2013 3:01:06 GMT -5
An enforced 6 months leave. Comes back largely the same but booked to appear in storylines that: a) don't force announcers to pretend everything he does is the right thing b) have an actual arc which has an effect on his overall personality (not heel turn, just change what he's about) c) if they had to tell D-Bry to stop smiling all the time during opponents promos they should tell Cena to drop thinking every comment against him is a joke when in character d) have him wrestle less. Make him a real special attraction that fans can boo & cheer when he appears on PPV. Done. Pretty much this. Cena needs to be seen as another guy on the roster at times. He can still be face, but it needs to be clear that he's not always right. He can get angry, upset and frustrated when he loses. |
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JCBaggee
Hank Scorpio
Writer, streamer. I used to write for CBR but then they fired everyone who cared about their writers
Posts: 6,784
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Post by JCBaggee on Jan 26, 2013 4:46:24 GMT -5
An enforced 6 months leave. Comes back largely the same but booked to appear in storylines that: a) don't force announcers to pretend everything he does is the right thing b) have an actual arc which has an effect on his overall personality (not heel turn, just change what he's about) c) if they had to tell D-Bry to stop smiling all the time during opponents promos they should tell Cena to drop thinking every comment against him is a joke when in character d) have him wrestle less. Make him a real special attraction that fans can boo & cheer when he appears on PPV. Done. Pretty much this. Cena needs to be seen as another guy on the roster at times. He can still be face, but it needs to be clear that he's not always right. He can get angry, upset and frustrated when he loses. Yeah, they tried that.  |
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Post by Jimichiro Likes Erick Rowan on Jan 26, 2013 10:50:40 GMT -5
I honestly wouldn't change a whole lot about Cena. In this era, I'm fine with the top guy being a flag waving, dorky, whitemeat babyface.
The problem I have, is that 90% of the time he just doesn't take anything seriously. Whatever dire situation he's in, he doesn't sell it at all. But when he does ("Preacher mode") it's awesome.
So basically, more "preacher mode" and less "skidmarks187 - bodily fluids that may or may not be yours."
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Post by EvenBaldobombHasAJob on Jan 26, 2013 10:53:24 GMT -5
Have him develop a new stable called THE JOHN CENA DOJO where he trains undercard guys and tries to train them Karate Kid style to win titles, complete with 80s music and training montages. only if they change his theme to "You're the Best" |
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zeez
Patti Mayonnaise
Yeah. That's right.
Posts: 32,702
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Post by zeez on Jan 26, 2013 10:56:47 GMT -5
Do a promo where he denounces Fruity Pebbles and embraces the Froot Loops.
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Post by Urfarkendarf on Jan 26, 2013 10:59:21 GMT -5
WWE has come to terms on the release of former champion John Cena as of today, ___,__,2013. We wish him the best in all future endeavors.
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