FAN Idol Season VIII, Round 34: Finale- ANONYMOUS GM vs. Roxie DaggersThe Finalists awaited the Judges' verdicts alongside the Host of FAN Idol Season VIII, KingOrangeTyger, inside the Freakin' Awesome Network' treasure vault. Amid the vast riches acquired by the Network over the years stood the first Barber Sheers employed by Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake to unhair the villainous scalps of WWF circa 1988, said to be first used by King Louis XVI's personal barber; a wall sized oil painting of Shawn Michaels' Smile, infamously lost by that superstar right before Wrestlemania 13; an enormous Parian marble statue depicting a cheerful Vincent Kennedy McMahon holding the hand of his illegitimate son, the diminutive Hornswoggle, kicking his heels, a XFL t-shirt around his genetically jackhammered torso; a tapestry that charted the myriad twists and turns that have attended the back story of the Big Red Machine Kane, from horrific burns and groping Katie Vick to tormenting Lita and hugging it out with Daniel "the Dazzler/Mr. Small Package/ No No No Yes Yes Yes/ World's Toughest Vegan and so forth" Bryan, fairly dominated an entire wall. However, one special marvel commanded the most attention...
This Official WWE Shockmaster figure!!!! (Applause!)
Roxie Daggers: Too bad it isn't life size (looks at ANONYMOUS GM's mask) because you'd have another option for that mask of yours.
ANONYMOUS GM: Quiet Dear. It's not much but at least it's not another invitation to attend a "One Special Night Only" Dennis Stamp tutorial on the finer points of pro wrestling.
KingOrangeTyger: Ah yes, Stamp Camp. I remember those. I went to the first one in '94. Dusty Wolfe with a blond mullet and the Mulkey Twins letting you punch them for a buck. We never did find Koko's bird. Just tore him to bits.
ANONYMOUS GM: Yes, well, my memories are of a far less fond nature. That veritable prince of Enhancement Talent had us jumping up and down on trampolines until he got a charlie horse and had to quit ten minutes in. This one chap with a purple rat tail and zubaz pants would not abate his staring at my mask... measures were taken.
Roxie Daggers: Kick his ass?
ANONYMOUS GM: No, no. No need for violence, though Tito Santana gave him a strong talking to after words. Sigh, if only all men were gentlemen like El Matador.
Roxie Daggers: I'd have kicked his ass. Hell, I'd give Dick Murdoch a six pack and a bag of Slim Jims and they'd never find his body again.
ANONYMOUS GM:.... we need to talk about this rage, Miss Daggers.
KingOrangeTyger: NoNoNoNo, not now. Not with the cameras rolling and the people at home listening to our show! (Addresses a camera with a stupid grin on his face) Isn't that right, folks at home?
Roxie Daggers:... what kind of mask was it? I bet it was unnecessarily neon colored.
ANONYMOUS GM: It was the early 90s dear, everything was unnecessarily neon colored. Tyger himself was dyed a shockingly orange tint, with Green stripes and a Dungeon of Doom tattoo on his...
KingOrangeTyger: Ah yes! Here come the judges now! (Beaming) Let's hear it for them!
Roxie Daggers: Was it a Vader mask, with the elephant and smoke coming out? Did it have sparkles? I bet it sparkled. LOL, I'd have spikes on mine and shoulder pads, Road Warrior Style.
ANONYMOUS GM: I did know Hawk and Animal in my Tokyo days. Tokyo, where I first became ANONYMOUS. Unknown not just to a person, but a city, a time... sigh...
As they waxed on, the cameras swept along the crowd. Among the WWE and TNA stars, the former WCW and sundry territory legends, the various moguls of the music, television, and film worlds were the remaining contestants of Season VIII of FAN Idol:
Ssnakebite, the Number 1 Frenchman sat most ominously, a snake skin cloak over his shoulders, fangs dripping venom from his lips, a snake shaped staff in his hands, signs that his next album would positively slither with Death Metal to lament the strange times he had with his former Snake woman girlfriend which culminated at the French orgy that greeted his elimination;
Sloth Spartan yawned and curled up alongside his "Million Dollar Man" wrestlebuddy on a heavenly, goose feather bed provided for his sleep needs by the Host, who knew that any signs of boredom were due to his nature and that alone, Sloth Spartan supporting this notion by recording the event on an I-Phone that rocked a Sloth version of C.M. Punk that battled a Daniel Bryan dressed up as a Spartan Warrior on its case;
wadefan22 had a section of the stands filled with the winners of the "dress in suede for wade" contest that her promotional team ran to promote her Pop-Punk album, "The Biggah Pictah", the star struck tweens and teens going gaga as they sat next to their spacey idol, watching the FAN Idol Season play out;
Moonie was able to take time off of his space engineering mission to fix the innumerable problems besetting Gooker I, the FAN Moon Base, after putting the final touches on the David Otunga Mirror and recalibrating the Van Morrison settings. The only thing more out of this world than his current assignment has been this Season of FAN Idol.
Canctus Fraggle was fresh from his journey into Outer Space, accompanying Uncle Traveling Matt Fraggle in his quest to find this strange, Outer Space concept known as "The Funk". Canctus Fraggle's quest consumed him and he found great jubilation in finding this "Funk", a pair of Bootsy Collin's glasses on his face, ideas for future FAN Idol's in his heart.
Spiderfab4 found time to swing in for a bit and watch the proceedings, as his quest to craft the world's finest harp strings out of a curious alloy blend of spider webbing and diamonds was at a bit of a standstill. However, his numerous eyes and limbs would soon be hard at work after indulging in some of the inspired song choices by our two remaining contestants.
Jazzman entertained the audience with a few hip cuts from his contemporary bop band "2 Cold Scorpio and the Funky Flashes", a beret on his head and a saxophone in his hand. He wowed the room with salsa licks, cuban funk, and Parts Unknown jazz stylings. Knalsic loves to boogie took over from the Cool one, leading the room in a series of boogie-tastic dance steps, including the Boogie Man's I'm Coming To Get You!, Disco Infernos' Jobber Among the Stars, Hillbilly Jim's Country Boy Conga, and Fandango's.... FAN-DAN-GO.
As the FAN audience was cha-cha-chaing, FAN's crack security team made sure that no one would interfere with the Finale's results.
Z-A Sandbaggin' Son of a b!%h scoped out of the auditorium before the event in his capacity as a newly accredited private eye. The proprietor of "From Z to A Detective Services" used his crack investigator skills to make sure that no one sneaked into the FAN auditorium without his, and his group of undercover agents, eyes. Not even Leslie Nilson could do a better job.
Stinger4Christ aided his sandbagging friend by taking to the rafters, checking out the various nooks and crannies of the FAN auditorium up high, his trained vulture hovering around and going "caw-caw! caw-caw!" as he saw the still highly insane
Square attempt to give the Host a mysterious present. Stinger's vulture attacked the would be saboteur, only to discover that the box contained several signed 8x10s of the Square'd one and his FAN Idol Winner medal. Taken aback, Square threatened to sue the Freakin' Awesome Network down to its last Marella but his new girlfriend, the mysterious EZ woman that once almost won the first FAN Idol calmed him down:
Though that last minute invitation did not prevent head FAN security leader
Elias Cage: Master of Escape from spearing the Squared one out of his boots, shouting that "no one messes with my Tyger!" The cheerful Mr. Cage returned to his security position, flanked by several, rather large and in charge bears and awaited the results.
Demented chuckled and told Square "I gave the Tyger a box once. It was a good box. It told him things that he was better off not knowing. It told him all about Demented... Giggle Giggle."
fw91, a bronze Brawl for It All medallion around his neck and a slightly impatient look on his eyes, awaited the verdict for Round 34: Finale, his mind already on Season IX, his heart swimming with possible songs, another Season, another chance for making things happen the way they should happen...
Roxie Daggers, turning to ANONYMOUS GM: Ooh, how emo of you! My time is now, honey, my city is where ever I park my bike for the night. Win or lose, I'm going down with a fight!
ANONYMOUS GM: I expect no less. Hmm, Honey. Honey and Nutella. So long ago it seems...
The judges walked out with their decision. One judge sporting a Horse's Head mask carried a weathered synthesizer in his hands as another judge, her face hidden behind a mask of webs, carried an enormous worm in a jar that appeared to vibrate to an inaudible song. Yet another judge, an acoustic guitar in his hand and a J on his lapel, came out and strummed a few chords effortlessly as another judge, a mix tape labeled "The Best of Idol: 2013" in hand, came out and bowed to the contestants. Finally, a judge wearing a ninja mask saluted the audience, various comic books, anime DVDs, and video games on his person. The judges turned and looked at the two finalists with steely eyes.
KingOrangeTyger: Finalists, Former Contestants, Judges, Audience members both here in the auditorium and on television across the world, we have now reached the End. We have arrived at Round 34: Finale. ANONYMOUS GM and Roxie Daggers, our two incredible finalists, had to present us with Eight Songs, Five to fulfill categories created by the Judges and arranged by myself, and Three songs of their own choosing to serve as Free choice songs. The five categories were:
1. Goku is Eating a Cloud- Strong Brad
2. Songs from 2013- Orange
3. Earworms- Widow’s Peak
4. Acoustic Only- J
5. Synthony- Pegasus Warrior
The categories tested the Finalist's mettle but I think we can all agree that they thrived under such challenging requirements.
The Finale was scored by Judges' votes for each Song Face-off, eight in total, with a point awarded for each victorious song. Two other points were available, one for winning the Public Vote, composed of voters from the Freakin' Awesome Network forums and one for winning the Judges' vote, which was sent to me by the judges in their Finale ballot.
With a score of 11 votes to 5, Roxie Daggers won the Public Vote, putting her up 1-0 over ANONYMOUS GM. The FANs felt strongly that Roxie had the better song list for this Season.
I will now reveal how this Round played out and who is the FAN Idol for Season VIII!!!!
Let's start with the Judge's Vote. We reached a majority of 3-2, with one judge finding it almost too close to call.
The winner of the Judge's Vote, the contestant who in the Judges' eyes had the better Song List for Season VIII is...
{Spoiler}{Spoiler}
ANONYMOUS GM!!!
*********************************The score is now tied 1-1. Let us now begin the scoring break down for each song face-off. The Contestants had the added challenge of arranging the order in which their songs would be heard without knowing how their competitor would arrange her song list as well...
The first Face-off was between one of ANONYMOUS GM's free choice songs, The Mowgli's San Francisco and Roxie Dagger's Synth selection, Separate Ways by Journey. A close battle, taking it 3-2 is...
{Spoiler}{Spoiler}
ANONYMOUS GM!!!
The score is now 2-1 ANONYMOUS GM, with the judges' vote total at 3-2 ANONYMOUS GM!!!
Let's jump a bit in the selections, shall we?
The third Face-Off saw Roxie Daggers use her "Goku" selection, Iggy Pop's Lust for Life, which name dropped a character from Beat Writer and spaced out junk user William S. Burrough's Nova Trilogy, while ANONYMOUS GM brought forth the Fine Young Cannibals' "She Drives Me Crazy", which she chose as her Ear Worm song. Who won his round, the junky or the cannibal? Sitting at 3-2 again, this Face-Off goes to...
{Spoiler}{Spoiler}
Roxie Daggers!!!
The Score is now tied at 2-2, with the judges' vote total tied at 5-5!!!
For the Fourth Face-Off, Roxie Daggers decided to put in one of her Free Choices, Rilo Kiley's Breaking Up. ANONYMOUS GM countered this choice by utilizing her Goku pick, The King and All His Men by Wolf Gang. Once again, a very close Face-Off with a 3-2 verdict in the favor of...
{Spoiler}{Spoiler}
ANONYMOUS GM!!!
The Score is now 3-2, ANONYMOUS GM, with the judges' votes total at 8-7, ANONYMOUS GM!!!
The Fifth Face-Off had ANONYMOUS GM striking with one of her Free Choice songs, Brand New's Jesus Christ, to which Roxie Dagger's responded with her Earworm song Just Can't Get Enough by Depeche Mode. Scoring an incredible 5-0 verdict is...
{Spoiler}{Spoiler}
Roxie Daggers!!!
The Score is now tied 3-3! The judges' votes stand at 12-8, Roxie Daggers!!!
Another skip ahead finds us at the Seventh Face-Off. The Seventh Face-Off was waged between Roxie Dagger's 2013 pick, Alice In Chain's Hollow and Tight Rope by WALK THE MOON, one of ANONYMOUS GM's free choices. A close one here, at 3-2, in favor of...
{Spoiler}{Spoiler}
ANONYMOUS GM!!!
The Score is now 4-3! The judges' votes stand at 14-11, Roxie Daggers!!!
Let's dial back a number and check out what went down during the Sixth Face-Off. ANONYMOUS GM used this slot for her 2013 song, Recovery by Frank Turner & The Sleeping Souls, while number six was reserved for one of Roxie Dagger's free choices, Tori Amos' Girl. This Face-Off was a sweep, 5-0, for...
{Spoiler}{Spoiler}
Roxie Daggers!!!
The Score is now tied again at 4-4!. The judges' votes are now at 19-11, Roxie Daggers!!!
Let's return to the Second Face-Off, shall we? This early fight saw both contestants using their True Acoustic choices, with Roxie Dagger's selecting Adelaide by The Old 97's and ANONYMOUS GM bringing it with Carole King's You've Got a Friend. Scoring 3 votes to 2, who won this unplugged confrontation...
{Spoiler}{Spoiler}ANONYMOUS GM!!!
The Score is now 5-4, ANONYMOUS GM! The judges' votes are now at 21-13, Roxie Daggers!!!
ANONYMOUS GM. Roxie Daggers. Please Step Forward.
One of you will now become Season VIII's FAN Idol. Regardless of who wins, this has been an incredible Season and you two have remained at the forefront of every Round since its inception. You are both incredible players and I hope you two continue to contribute to Future Seasons in whatever capacity you deem fit. I have had a wonderful time listening to the music you have selected and watching how you have played each Round with wit and resourcefulness, bravery and will. This is just an on-line musical game on a pop culture forum but you two, along with your fellow contestants, have made this into a grand experience. Whatever happens next, just know that you are both phenomenal players and that you deserve to be where you are at. You cannot simply get lucky for this many Rounds, cannot find your way through chance when faced with such categories. It has been a challenging road and that road ends here. You are both winners in my book but only one person can win FAN Idol Season VIII. The runner-up should not feel any sort of shame or any sense because they have performed marvelously this Season and will join the ranks of amazing players like Stinger4Christ, The Baldy Kendrick, Junkenstein, Stryker, and others who came oh so close but were just beaten by another amazing talent. So, congratulations to you both! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for making this Six months or so the best time I've ever had on these forums. Thanks to everyone who has played, judged, watched for letting me do this and for playing far, far, far better than I could imagine.
If there is a tie in points, the Judges' total votes will decide the winner.
For the final Face-Off, Face-Off 8, Roxie Daggers brought us Fiona Apple's Waltz (Better Than Me) for her final free choice. ANONYMOUS GM countered with her synthesizer song, Anything Could Happen (In the Radio 1 Live Lounge) by Ellie Goulding. The winner of this Face-Off, 3-2 is...
{Spoiler}{Spoiler}
ANONYMOUS GM!!!
CONGRATULATIONS, YOU HAVE WON FAN IDOL SEASON VIII!!!
The Score is now 6-4, ANONYMOUS GM! The judges' votes are 24-16, Roxie Daggers!!!
You've gone up and down throughout the Season, finding yourself at the top and at the bottom. You've won Team Rounds and you've lost them. You never compromised on your musical tastes and played a fierce game that matched Roxie Daggers Round after Round, culminating in a nail-biting Finale that you've won 6 points to 4!!! What an incredible performance and, if this is indeed your final Season, that was an unbelievable way to finish it. It was a close, close margin of victory and, while you won more face-offs, Roxie earned more Judges' votes. So very close but you won decisively where you had to the most. Congratulations again and I hope we get to see you in FAN Idol in the future!!! Thanks for introducing me to some mind-blowing music and for bring your talent to this competition!!!
Everyone, please give a hand to the FAN IDOL for Season VIII, Three-time Winner, ANONYMOUS GM!!!
Roxie Daggers, I'm absolutely crushed to say that this means that you will not be the FAN Idol for Season VIII. I wish we could have two winners because you deserve to find yourself in the winner's circle but that would cheapen this whole thing and I know that you wouldn't want that. You dominated this Season at times and your song library will go down as one of THE best, not just because of size but of quality, of anyone who has ever played this game. Period. You were always a lot of fun to talk to and you made some unbelievable selections this Season. You won the Judges' total votes for the Finale but you lost the Face-Offs. Such a close, close margin of victory. Thank you for playing your heart out and helping to put together an unforgettable Finale.
Everybody, please put your hands together to both our incredible Finalists. I also want to thank each and every judge, contestant, voter, and onlooker that was involved with this Season. You guys made it what it is and I deeply mean that. Thank you again for six months or so of FUN. Truly, this has meant so much to me, much more than I thought it would.
That said, GREAT JOB ANONYMOUS GM and ROXIE DAGGERS!!! You both won. You really did.
Judge's Selections:
{Spoiler}{Spoiler}
ANONYMOUS GM’s Finale- 5 points via songs; 1 point via JV; 17 judges votes
1. San Francisco- The Mowglis (Free Choice)
J, Major Brad, Widow’s Peak
2. You’ve Got a Friend- Carole King (True Acoustic)
J, Orange, Widow’s Peak
3. She Drives Me Crazy- Fine Young Cannibals (Ear Worm)
Major Brad, Widow’s Peak
4. The King and All of His Men- Wolf Gang (Goku)
Major Brad, Pegasus Warrior, Widow’s Peak
5. Jesus Christ- Brand New (Free Choice)
6. Recovery- Frank Turner & The Sleeping Souls (2013)
7. Tight Rope- WALK THE MOON (Free Choice)
Major Brad, Pegasus Warrior, Widow’s Peak
8. Anything Could Happen (In the Radio 1 Live Lounge)- Ellie Goulding (synthesizer)
Orange, Pegasus Warrior, Major Brad
Roxie Daggers’ Finale- 3 points via songs; 1 point via PV; 23 judges votes
1 - "separate ways (worlds apart)" - journey (synthesizer)
Orange, Pegasus Warrior
2 - "adelaide" - the old 97's (acoustic)
Major Brad, Pegasus Warrior
3 - "lust for life" - iggy pop (character)
J, Orange, Pegasus Warrior
4 - "breakin' up" - rilo kiley (free choice)
J, Orange
5 - "just can't get enough" - depeche mode (ear worm)
J, Orange, Major Brad, Pegasus Warrior, Widow’s Peak
6 - "girl" - tori amos (free choice)
J, Orange, Major Brad, Pegasus Warrior, Widow’s Peak
7 - "hollow" - alice in chains (2013)
J, Orange
8 - "waltz (better than fine)" - fiona apple (free choice)
J, Widow’s Peak