Cut a Hogan promo (shoot or kayfabe) on everyone

["American Cream" Dusty Loads]

One of my favorite things on this board is when you guys do Hogan impressions. So in this thread, you cut a promo on whoever the previous poster says and then you post who the next poster should cut a promo on. They could be another wrestler, fictional character, real life person, etc.

I'll start things off with the first promo suggestion: Walter White

bonus points for every brother, jack or dude.

[jason1980s]

I haven't watched Breaking Bad for a few years (loss of TV station on new television company) so I don't know what's happened since. I do remember him being a successful drug distributor so I'll go the Hogan route and make him out to be a loser (in terms of success in dealing).

Hulk: Well I'll tell you something Mean Gene that Walter White brother he's a loser. He needs to ditch that high school kid jack and go with a real winner in business like the Hulkster brother or Easy E dude!
Where else will you get a guy who is so successful he ignores the Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grilling Machine voice message? Then of course brother there's Pastamania. It's a good thing Chef Boyardee is a Hulkamaniac jack, he's going to need the strongest arms in the world to rescue him from drowning in debt while we backstroke up the Mississippi! We already knew Ronald McDonald couldn't hang and bang with the Hulkster man. His Big Macs went down the five count while King Kong Bundy ate a Hulkster patty melt daddy.
But back to you Bryan Cranston. You better watch your back, jack, you may be a great actor but you'll never top High Noon On Mega Mountain dude. Or Mister Nanny. Or any of the Hulksters other films that were so good they went straight to DVD to avoid a massive sellout at the theaters brothers.
You may have a bunch of awards to your name but do you have the other son from the Wonder Years as your business partner dude?

Mean Gene: We're hear to talk about TNA Hulk, TNA!

Hulk: Mean Gene there's only so much negativity about a company the Hulkster can say in a month. I'm here to talk about Walter White man and that little RV he made the meth in. Man that RV ain't nothing compared to Hulk Hogan's Micro Championship Wrestling wrestler's RV made famous by special guest appearance by Nasty Boys Knobs brother.

Mean Gene: But Hulk, didn't that MCW show only last one season?

Hulk: That was the plan, man. We knew it was too hot to handle, too cold to hold for the networks.

Mean Gene: Isn't that the property owner coming to close down the Beach Shop?

Hulk: Do you still have Vince's number, brother?

Mean Gene: At this point Hulk I doubt he will want you as the Babe Ruth. You may have a position as Eric Duncan though.



Jimmy Hart...

[Hawk Hart]

You FANs can stick it, brother!

[no]

No

[The Dark Order Inferno]

Jimmy Hart? Well, let me tell you something about Jimmy Hart, brother, Jimmy Hart revolutionised the music business, jack! The Gentrys were bigger than the Beatles, those cats couldn't draw, they weren't even fit to tighten Jimmy's guitar strings! Hartamania ran wild from the 60's and beyond, but music wasn't enough for Jimmy so he revolutionised wrestling, inventing the megaphone along the way and managing a legion of champions from King Kong Bundy to Gypsy Joe. His music inspired a generation of kids who stole his ideas, jack! Smells like Teen spirit? A ripoff of Jimmy's classic, Self High Five. They asked me to be in Nirvana, brother, Kurt Cobain told me 'Hulkster, we need you brother, no-one embodies the spirit of teenage rebellion than a bright orange 40 year old millionaire with 36 inch pythons, dude." but Metallica needed me more so I slammed down the phone like a 900 pound giant.

Christian York.

[SAJ Forth]

Well you know something brother! Christian York really took the teachings of Dianetics close to heart dude! He was trying to to convert Taz to become Kirstie Ally's driver! Even though the little Jack needs wooden blocks & soup cans to reach the pedals brother! So I tied him to the back of my Road King brother! Grabbed on to those ape hangers dude! And threw him into a volcano with all those copies of Battllefield Earth Jack!

New Jack

[James Fabiano]

Go to my YouTube channel (my name, basically: James Fabiano)

["American Cream" Dusty Loads]

LET ME TELL YA SOMETHIN NEW JACK, JACK. YOU MAY BE A GANGSTER, BROTHER, BUT IT'LL TAKE MORE THAN A FALL FROM A SCAFFOLD TO KILL HULKAMANIA, DUDE. YOU COULD THROW THE HULKSTER FROM THE INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION AND THE HEAT FROM ENTERING THE EARTH'S ATMOSPHERE, BROTHER, WOULD JUST KEEP THESE 24 INCH PYTHONS NICE AND TAN, DUDE."

Captain Falcon

[67 more]

Sept 19, 2013 2:47:14 GMT -5 "American Cream" Dusty Loads said:

LET ME TELL YA SOMETHIN NEW JACK, JACK. YOU MAY BE A GANGSTER, BROTHER, BUT IT'LL TAKE MORE THAN A FALL FROM A SCAFFOLD TO KILL HULKAMANIA, DUDE. YOU COULD THROW THE HULKSTER FROM THE INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION AND THE HEAT FROM ENTERING THE EARTH'S ATMOSPHERE, BROTHER, WOULD JUST KEEP THESE 24 INCH PYTHONS NICE AND TAN, DUDE."

Captain Falcon

WELL, LET ME TELL YA SOMETHING, BROTHER! THIS DUDE CAPTAIN FALCON COMES IN TO MY WORLD, THE REALM OF THE HULKAMANIACS, BROTHER AFTER HAVING A FEW SUCCESSFUL RUNS IN THE SMASH BROTHERS CIRCUIT, DUDE! WELL, ALL THE HULKAMANIACS KNOW THAT ALL THE REAL ACTION HAPPENS RIGHT HERE, JACK! I REMEMBER HANGING AND BANGING PLAYING F-ZERO AND I THOUGHT THIS GUY DOESN'T HAVE 24-INCH PYTHONS. YOU MAY HAVE THE FALCON PUNCH, DUDE, BUT NOTHING COMPARES TO THE BIGGEST LEG IN THE WORLD DROPPING DOWN ON YOUR THROAT WHEN I JUMP TWO HUNDRED FEET IN THE AIR, BRUSHING MY HEAD OFF THE ROOF OF THE ARENA, JACK!


Captain Planet