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Post by onetruemisfit on Dec 27, 2013 3:08:23 GMT -5
Everyone is going through the motions and no employees give a shit about wwe anymore.
Raw opening starts to the theme of whatever rock song is number one at the moment. Whatever.. NEXT!
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BigBadZ
Grimlock
The Rumors Are All True
Posts: 13,923
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Post by BigBadZ on Dec 27, 2013 3:11:04 GMT -5
Every match, everyone has a Sin Cara mask. The 15 minute mat classic between CM Punk and Daniel Bryan is completely perfect except for the botched ending
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Post by onetruemisfit on Dec 27, 2013 3:15:30 GMT -5
JBL is busy being a farm hand when he gets called into raw on short notice. It's like clerks and jbl is pissing and moaning. "I'm not even supposed to be here today Maggie." Wearing dirty blue jeans and a t shirt.
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Post by Clash, Never a Meter Maid on Dec 27, 2013 3:15:39 GMT -5
Alberto Del Rio Appreciation Night.
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Post by onetruemisfit on Dec 27, 2013 3:18:02 GMT -5
Alberto Del Rio Appreciation Night. I just had Mountain Dew go through my nose, all over my face and on my cell phone.
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FHgrad99
Vegeta
Never mind that s***, here comes Mongo!
Posts: 9,018
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Post by FHgrad99 on Dec 27, 2013 3:18:54 GMT -5
Instead of calling the match, Michael Cole goes to the concession stand and he returns to rave about his nachos.
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BigBadZ
Grimlock
The Rumors Are All True
Posts: 13,923
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Post by BigBadZ on Dec 27, 2013 3:23:58 GMT -5
Instead of calling the match, Michael Cole goes to the concession stand and he returns to rave about his nachos. Minus going to the concession, I can totally see this happening
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The Sam
El Dandy
The Brainiest Sam of all
Posts: 8,423
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Post by The Sam on Dec 27, 2013 3:25:20 GMT -5
An entire 3 hour show dedicated to WWE's hottest new superstar;
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Post by onetruemisfit on Dec 27, 2013 3:32:51 GMT -5
"Thanks for joining us for this Monday night raw in this sold out jam packed arena. We're gonna kick things off with a John Cena promo and then jump right into the action with some replays from last week."
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Post by "Cane Dewey" Johnson on Dec 27, 2013 3:34:00 GMT -5
Everyone is going through the motions and no employees give a shit about wwe anymore. So... don't change anything then? {Spoiler}{Spoiler}
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schma
Hank Scorpio
Posts: 6,703
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Post by schma on Dec 27, 2013 3:40:51 GMT -5
20 minute celebration for heel of the month with appropriate interruptions. Last minute main event created out of that segment. 10 Minute app tutuorial. Backstage segment involving people from the opening segment. 10 minute app tutorial. Midcard match that is over in five minutes but still manages to have a commercial break halfway through. 10 minute app tutorial. Another backstage segment involving someone else from the opening. 10 minute app tutorial. 5 minute diva match. Bonus points if the match is actually just them modelling bikinis and the crowd votes for their favourite leading to the heel diva to start a cat fight. 10 minute app tutorial.
Upper midcard match, commercial break halfway through. 10 minute app tutorial. Backstage segment featuring people from the initial segment. Tag team match that gets interrupted by a commercial break halfway through. Whichever of the teams is getting a big push loses. 10 minute app tutorial. Backstage segment furthering the opening segment.
Repeat the previous ad nauseum until we get to the 'main event' which actually ends early with some kind of dq because they need time for the contract signing. Two people come out, sign a contract, talk big, stare each other down, the heel cheapshots the face and they kick each others butts. 10 minute app tutorial.
I might actually have described an episode of raw except I left out Raw ending with the Authority kicking Bryan's head in. 10 minute app tutorial.
Edit: I forgot to mention that the announce team will talk about anything except what is happening in the ring. They will bury the wrestlers we're watching and otherwise make asses of themselves (so business as usual).
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Allie Kitsune
Crow T. Robot
Always Feelin' Foxy.
Celestial Princess in Exile.
Posts: 46,076
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Post by Allie Kitsune on Dec 27, 2013 7:50:15 GMT -5
I don't have to. WWE already does that.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 27, 2013 8:09:18 GMT -5
Kofi Kingston and The Miz wrestle for 20 minutes and there are no backstage or interview segments
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shaker
Team Rocket
The numbers don't lie - and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice!
Posts: 779
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Post by shaker on Dec 27, 2013 8:18:57 GMT -5
WWE Celebrates the Rock Again For Some Reason!
First half hour is video package talking about how good the Rock is. It slowly becomes more evident that they're just taking footage from other DVDs and dubbing in The Rock over it.
"I remember heading down to Memphis back in the 1970s, you cannot believe how great THE ROCK was, I mean they don't call him the King of Memphis for nothing."
"When THE ROCK fell off that Hell in a Cell cage, I remember going to him and saying 'I love you, THE ROCK, but please never do that again'".
"Ring of Honor really let me get my foot in the door in WWE, and I have to thank THE ROCK and THE ROCK for that."
Then 3MB (dressed as the 3 eras of the Rock - Rocky Maivia, The People's Champion, and Modern Rock) perform a skit about how cool The Rock is.
First match starts at 9:00 pm; Tamina Snuka (who is related to the Rock) beats AJ Lee for the Title in a 30 second squash.
Then a flashback to the Rock's misogynist, homophobic return to the WWE in 2012.
Second match hits at 9:30 pm; 20 man battle royale with the winner getting to face the Rock later that night in the main event. John Cena wins.
A replay of "This is your life, Rock". Followed by a replay of the Rock vs Mankind from the Superbowl Halftime Heat.
Main event starts at 10:15 pm since Rock gets a big entrance. Cena's already in the ring coming out of commercial, gets no music. Rock beats Cena and gets his win back by 10:35.
Last half hour is the Rock singing songs. Raw ends with Vince coming out and hugging the Rock.
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Push R Truth
Patti Mayonnaise
Unique and Special Snowflake, and a pants-less heathen.
Perpetually Constipated
Posts: 39,281
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Post by Push R Truth on Dec 27, 2013 8:30:49 GMT -5
HHH dry humps a mannequin to get a feud over as the Undertaker walks around trying to get people to drink his tobacco spit.
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Turd Ferguson
Hank Scorpio
John Cena: Colossal Douche
Posts: 7,402
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Post by Turd Ferguson on Dec 27, 2013 9:13:44 GMT -5
Stone Cold and HBK return for a match, after entrances and the face off, they strip down and f*** in the middle of the ring, then shoot each other in the head while Vince beats off onto the mess.
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Surfer Sandman
Bubba Ho-Tep
You had to be a big shot, didn't cha
Posts: 506
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Post by Surfer Sandman on Dec 27, 2013 9:18:13 GMT -5
JBL, Cole and the King yap on and on about Miley Cyrus, Duck Dynasty, etc while ignoring the matches in front of them. Cole pauses to moon the audience while King ogles the divas.
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Post by Freddy BooJangles on Dec 27, 2013 11:07:00 GMT -5
Triple H takes up the whole 3 hours of RAW to talk about how great he is & that he is THE BEST OF ALL TIME (I could sadly see this happening some time soon)
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Post by xxshoyuweeniexx on Dec 27, 2013 11:22:27 GMT -5
The commentators take selfies during a match.
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FHgrad99
Vegeta
Never mind that s***, here comes Mongo!
Posts: 9,018
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Post by FHgrad99 on Dec 27, 2013 11:35:16 GMT -5
The referee in the divas match is drunk off his ass and proceeds to try to feel up Aksana before passing out.
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