Police: No beer led to ceramic squirrel stabbing

[andrew8798]

NORTH CHARLESTON, S.C. (AP) — South Carolina authorities say a 44-year-old woman angry at a man for returning home without beer on Christmas beat and stabbed him with a ceramic squirrel.

The Charleston County Sheriff's office says in a report that deputies found a man covered with blood when they arrived at Helen Williams' North Charleston home early Wednesday. She told investigators the man fell and cut himself, but couldn't explain why her hands and clothes were also bloody.

Deputies say the man said Williams was so angry when he returned without beer because stores were closed on Christmas Eve that she grabbed a ceramic squirrel, beat him in the head, then stabbed him in the shoulder and chest.

Williams was in jail Friday and charged with criminal domestic violence. It wasn't known if she had a lawyer.

-AP

[angryfan]

I clicked the thread because I wasn't sure if the squirrel would be the weapon or the victim. Oddly, when it proved to be the former, I found myself slightly disappointed.

[Mozenrath]

Dec 27, 2013 21:33:29 GMT -5 angryfan said:

I clicked the thread because I wasn't sure if the squirrel would be the weapon or the victim. Oddly, when it proved to be the former, I found myself slightly disappointed.

Yeah, I figured someone stabbed some kind of lawn ornament.

This woman sounds like a real treat.

[Deleted]

Well played, SC. Though I can't help but wonder why they didn't stock up beforehand knowing that stores would be closed. Every loathsome alcoholic knows to at least do that.

[Lancers]

Ceramic Squirrel Stabbers is the name of my Stone Temple Pilots cover band.

[Gopher Mod]

Dec 27, 2013 23:30:10 GMT -5 Lancers said:

Ceramic Squirrel Stabbers is the name of my Stone Temple Pilots cover band.

I'd pay good money to see that, Lancers. You up for it?

[Deleted]

Dec 27, 2013 23:30:10 GMT -5 Lancers said:

Ceramic Squirrel Stabbers is the name of my Stone Temple Pilots cover band.

What would you do if I followed you?
What would you do... if I follow...

Hey, what are you looking at? She was a sour girl the day that she stabbed me.

[Wolf Hawkfield no1 NZ poster]

Hopefully this psycho bitch stays behind bars for awhile.

[Deleted]

Eric Young should have known this would happen when he married ODB. I bet he also forgot the chicken.

[Jedi-El of Tomorrow]

Dec 27, 2013 21:33:29 GMT -5 angryfan said:

I clicked the thread because I wasn't sure if the squirrel would be the weapon or the victim. Oddly, when it proved to be the former, I found myself slightly disappointed.

Same here I expected someone to stab a ceramic squirrel while yelling "Die squirrel, die!"

[BigBadZ]

This reminds me of Dumb and Dumber when Harry told Lloyd to get the essentials because it was the last of their money then when Lloyd returns home, the first thing he asks for is the booze.

But she better call Saul