kidglov3s
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Wants her Shot
Who is Tiger Maskooo?
Posts: 15,870
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Post by kidglov3s on Feb 15, 2014 22:59:00 GMT -5
He'll always be a Penguin to me, DAMN IT! There's a phrase "plays for the other team", Coffey is a man who played for many, many other teams. And also had a habit of scoring against his own goalies.
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Malcolm
Grimlock
Wanted something done about the color of his ring.
May contain ADHD
Posts: 13,484
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Post by Malcolm on Feb 15, 2014 23:17:08 GMT -5
"Here's you in a nutshell: blah blah smarky shit, blah blah snarky shit, blah blah respect me, blah blah ice cream bars, blah blah something someone complained about on a wrestling forum, blah blah dig about your opponent's wrestling past with a reference to his past gimmicks so smarks can cheer for me because they get it, blah blah I'm not John Cena because I'm a fake rebel. Rinse and repeat"
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Feb 15, 2014 23:28:20 GMT -5
"Here's you in a nutshell: blah blah smarky shit, blah blah snarky shit, blah blah respect me, blah blah ice cream bars, blah blah something someone complained about on a wrestling forum, blah blah dig about my wrestling past with a reference to my past gimmicks so smarks can cheer for me because they get it, blah blah I'm not John Cena because I'm a fake rebel. Rinse and repeat" No, this is CM Punk in a nutshell: Help, I'm CM Punk and I'm in a nutshell! How did I get in to this nutshell? Look at the size of this bloody great big nutshell! What sort of shell has a nut like this? This is crazy!
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Post by Hobby Drifter on Feb 16, 2014 0:12:36 GMT -5
You're a poser. *slap*
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Post by 1 Free Moon-Down with Burger on Feb 16, 2014 0:20:48 GMT -5
Just show all 5 million of his "I'm not here to talk, I'm here to fight" promos from this summer.
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Reflecto
Hank Scorpio
The Sorceress' Knight
Posts: 6,847
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Post by Reflecto on Feb 16, 2014 0:42:17 GMT -5
There's a phrase "plays for the other team", Coffey is a man who played for many, many other teams. And also had a habit of scoring against his own goalies. Went without saying, What does "Punk" mean in a jail cell again?
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Mochi Lone Wolf
Fry's dog Seymour
Development through Destruction.
Posts: 24,047
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Post by Mochi Lone Wolf on Feb 16, 2014 0:57:54 GMT -5
I've always had a desire to maybe give heel managing a try so I'll try my best to cut as good a promo on CM Punk as I can. Please note: I don't actually believe the vast majority of the things I've written in the spoiler tags. This was done pretty much for fun. Punk. I don't know what's going on with you. Everywhere you go, despair follows you. You can try to blame everyone else. HHH, Shawn Michaels, Hulk Hogan, The Rock, Vince, Shane, Stephanie, Diesel, Razor, HBK, 123 Kid, Aldo Montoya, Hunter, or even Aurora. The fact of the matter is that misery follows YOU. You are the common denominator in the empire of dirt you've created since you first laced up those ugly boots and those putrid Chicago flag trunks that you, and only you, find cool. You are the one that seems to have a problem with everyone around here, not them. All they've ever wanted to do was to make this a business sustainable enough to pass down to their children and to everyone going to school, working their tails off in the gym, doing roadwork, and getting themselves in the best shape they can to be apart of this business that's given so much to everyone and will continue to do so long after all of us are gone. We're the ones who are keeping the business going forward. You, however, have done everything in your power to hijack all that hard work and make it all your own. You've been an agent of chaos that's been allowed to run rough shot over everything we in the WWE hold dear. All the nuances that superstars of the past and the present have fought tooth and nail for, you've done your best to destroy. Superstars are supposed to be larger than life, they're supposed to be asskickers, they're meant to be guys you don't want to ever see in a back alley after dark. You, on the other hand, changed all that. Congratulations, you've gotten the revolution you so desperately wanted. All that has changed. Now, when people think of WWE superstars, they laugh. They think of you. A short, scrawny, tatted up lowlife who looks like he hasn't seen a bed since God knows when. You've made this once great company a laughing stock. I hope you're proud of yourself.
You see, even though so many people find your "opponent" schtick amusing, worthy of all the different memes you see on the interwebz, I find it all very sad. Because, I know where that comes from. I'm a psychology minor. I know more about you than you do. I know that all of this attention-seeking, this desire to be heard has deeper meaning than just "pipebombs" and "giving voice to the voiceless". This is about feeling wanted. This is about finding that one place in your life where you can finally fit in. I mean, let's look at your track record. You were never wanted in your home life. Your father did his best to ensure he would have nothing to do with you by finding the true love of his life, Jack Daniels. Your sister has one foot in the grave with a needle permanently attached to her arm. So, there's someone else who has found something other than you to love. Your brother clearly loves your money more than he does you. And your mother cares so little for you that she's willing to empty all the dirty laundry from your closet simply because she can. Oh, what I would do to get my hands on every single juicy bit of that. That's all rubbed off on you. You say you're not addicted to anything and that's wrong. You're addicted to something more than drugs, more than alcohol, more than pills, and more than even caffeine. You're addicted to.....validation. That's why you treat every women you've been with the way you do. Because you think that makes you look cooler in the eyes of "the boys". Unfortunately, they also see right through you the way I do. They're just too scared and too politically correct to actually go out of their way to point it out. It's the same with how you conducted yourself in the WWE. You did everything you can to appease fans who may not have the highest opinion of the show as it is and knowing that they will fall behind whoever they feel speaks for them. However, bringing this to light allows me to finally solve the puzzle known as CM Punk. I have to admit, it's all very disappointing. Behind all that bravado and facade of uniqueness, there's just that little boy still crying for mommy and daddy to stop fighting and play with him before they tuck him to bed.
Usually, I'd expect to come back and reply to me with the best of your ability by throwing all your charisma behind a response. However, I know you won't. How do I know this? Because you know you have nothing to come back at me with. I've gone to the very deep, dark, core of your being and have exposed every bit of ugliness from it. It's all out in the open now. The mystique is gone. CM Punk is dead. Only the broken existence of Phil Brooks remains.
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saintpat
El Dandy
Release the hounds!!!
Posts: 7,664
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Post by saintpat on Feb 16, 2014 1:03:25 GMT -5
CM Punk? Chicago Made Punk? What has Chicago ever made? The Cubs? (OK, cheap heat, but still.) No Real CHEAP HEAT The Bulls since Jordan Derrick Rose White Sox, Comparing Chicago to Detroit,Lions-Bears,Pistons-Bulls,Red Wings-Balckhawks Hell even Jordan LEFT the Bulls and joined two crap franchises in Washington to Finish his career and Charlotte just to get awax from Chicago. Have a Nice Day.., Umm, you left out the Detroit Tigers. How can you leave out my beloved Tigers?
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Mochi Lone Wolf
Fry's dog Seymour
Development through Destruction.
Posts: 24,047
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Post by Mochi Lone Wolf on Feb 16, 2014 1:09:32 GMT -5
No Real CHEAP HEAT The Bulls since Jordan Derrick Rose White Sox, Comparing Chicago to Detroit,Lions-Bears,Pistons-Bulls,Red Wings-Balckhawks Hell even Jordan LEFT the Bulls and joined two crap franchises in Washington to Finish his career and Charlotte just to get awax from Chicago. Have a Nice Day.., Umm, you left out the Detroit Tigers. How can you leave out my beloved Tigers? The same way the Commissioner's trophy does. *shots fired*
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Feb 16, 2014 1:13:46 GMT -5
I'd go word-for-word the speech Karl gives to Montez in the "Ders Comes in Handy" episode of Workaholics, but with AJ Lee in place of Colleen.
"Man she said you have a tiny (male sexual organ)... like a Tootsie Roll. Meanwhile I've got the Charleston Chew.... the king-sized version. AND YOU KNOW YOUR BITCH HAS A SWEET TOOTH! OHHHHHHHHHH!"
Because hitting below the belt is always the way to go.
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Pavel
Mike the Goon
Posts: 47
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Post by Pavel on Feb 16, 2014 1:18:27 GMT -5
All this fans, that followed you through the years. They've been following your career, going to the same places you go, wearing the same stuff you wear, trying to act like you, trying to be as straight edge like you.
You see, Punk, this people right here are the reason you became popular. And than how do you repay them? You walk away.... You WALK AWAY!!!
I don't know how selfish can someone get, to walk away. You dropped the ball, but don't worry, someone else is going to pick it up, and someone else is going to always stay there for the FANS of professional wrestling.
You talked about bringing change, and in the end look where it got you. It is simple, your change never happened, because you have no idea in how business works. CM Punk, you might be a great wrestling, you might be the best in the world, but you dropped the ball, and went home. Home, where you can sit with your friends who will tell you everything you want to hear, because the truth is, your time as the WWE Champion was quite a ratings failure....
Quote the Raven, nevermore!
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Post by thegame415 on Feb 16, 2014 1:25:15 GMT -5
Induct Lita into the hall of fame.
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saintpat
El Dandy
Release the hounds!!!
Posts: 7,664
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Post by saintpat on Feb 16, 2014 1:51:57 GMT -5
Umm, you left out the Detroit Tigers. How can you leave out my beloved Tigers? The same way the Commissioner's trophy does. *shots fired* I have suffered long. When you've been through a 110-loss season, you become bulletproof.
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Post by "Cane Dewey" Johnson on Feb 16, 2014 2:10:51 GMT -5
"I respect CM Punk's values. CM Punk's values are more than skin deep, more than his tattoos. They are a way of life. I don't think he'd ever try to make money by working with someone who is publicly known for assaulting his wife by teasing a future Wrestlemania program with that person. CM Punk's values are more important to him than that."
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Post by berlynwright on Feb 16, 2014 2:15:12 GMT -5
Taps out clean to Del Rio and Del Rio doesn't let the armbar go after the bell.
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Glitch
King Koopa
Not Going To Die; Childs, we're goin' out to give Blair the test. If he tries to make it back here and we're not with him... burn him.
Watching you.
Posts: 12,721
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Post by Glitch on Feb 16, 2014 2:18:48 GMT -5
*in mocking voice.* I'm a big tattooed lame-o and I wear the same stupid hoodie everyday.
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kevin
El Dandy
Posts: 7,509
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Post by kevin on Feb 16, 2014 6:23:17 GMT -5
Have Jerry stands up from the announce table and say Punk guess what your not the best in the world. Punk would never recover from that burn.
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Snowman
Dennis Stamp
The "Called His Mama at WrestleMania" Guy
Sigs/Avatars cannot exceed 1MB
Posts: 3,907
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Post by Snowman on Feb 16, 2014 6:29:31 GMT -5
I've always had a desire to maybe give heel managing a try so I'll try my best to cut as good a promo on CM Punk as I can. Please note: I don't actually believe the vast majority of the things I've written in the spoiler tags. This was done pretty much for fun. {Spoiler}Punk. I don't know what's going on with you. Everywhere you go, despair follows you. You can try to blame everyone else. HHH, Shawn Michaels, Hulk Hogan, The Rock, Vince, Shane, Stephanie, Diesel, Razor, HBK, 123 Kid, Aldo Montoya, Hunter, or even Aurora. The fact of the matter is that misery follows YOU. You are the common denominator in the empire of dirt you've created since you first laced up those ugly boots and those putrid Chicago flag trunks that you, and only you, find cool. You are the one that seems to have a problem with everyone around here, not them. All they've ever wanted to do was to make this a business sustainable enough to pass down to their children and to everyone going to school, working their tails off in the gym, doing roadwork, and getting themselves in the best shape they can to be apart of this business that's given so much to everyone and will continue to do so long after all of us are gone. We're the ones who are keeping the business going forward. You, however, have done everything in your power to hijack all that hard work and make it all your own. You've been an agent of chaos that's been allowed to run rough shot over everything we in the WWE hold dear. All the nuances that superstars of the past and the present have fought tooth and nail for, you've done your best to destroy. Superstars are supposed to be larger than life, they're supposed to be asskickers, they're meant to be guys you don't want to ever see in a back alley after dark. You, on the other hand, changed all that. Congratulations, you've gotten the revolution you so desperately wanted. All that has changed. Now, when people think of WWE superstars, they laugh. They think of you. A short, scrawny, tatted up lowlife who looks like he hasn't seen a bed since God knows when. You've made this once great company a laughing stock. I hope you're proud of yourself.
You see, even though so many people find your "opponent" schtick amusing, worthy of all the different memes you see on the interwebz, I find it all very sad. Because, I know where that comes from. I'm a psychology minor. I know more about you than you do. I know that all of this attention-seeking, this desire to be heard has deeper meaning than just "pipebombs" and "giving voice to the voiceless". This is about feeling wanted. This is about finding that one place in your life where you can finally fit in. I mean, let's look at your track record. You were never wanted in your home life. Your father did his best to ensure he would have nothing to do with you by finding the true love of his life, Jack Daniels. Your sister has one foot in the grave with a needle permanently attached to her arm. So, there's someone else who has found something other than you to love. Your brother clearly loves your money more than he does you. And your mother cares so little for you that she's willing to empty all the dirty laundry from your closet simply because she can. Oh, what I would do to get my hands on every single juicy bit of that. That's all rubbed off on you. You say you're not addicted to anything and that's wrong. You're addicted to something more than drugs, more than alcohol, more than pills, and more than even caffeine. You're addicted to.....validation. That's why you treat every women you've been with the way you do. Because you think that makes you look cooler in the eyes of "the boys". Unfortunately, they also see right through you the way I do. They're just too scared and too politically correct to actually go out of their way to point it out. It's the same with how you conducted yourself in the WWE. You did everything you can to appease fans who may not have the highest opinion of the show as it is and knowing that they will fall behind whoever they feel speaks for them. However, bringing this to light allows me to finally solve the puzzle known as CM Punk. I have to admit, it's all very disappointing. Behind all that bravado and facade of uniqueness, there's just that little boy still crying for mommy and daddy to stop fighting and play with him before they tuck him to bed.
Usually, I'd expect to come back and reply to me with the best of your ability by throwing all your charisma behind a response. However, I know you won't. How do I know this? Because you know you have nothing to come back at me with. I've gone to the very deep, dark, core of your being and have exposed every bit of ugliness from it. It's all out in the open now. The mystique is gone. CM Punk is dead. Only the broken existence of Phil Brooks remains. Well done, this was excellent. I read it all in Paul Heyman's voice too
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Post by The Beast Disincarnate on Feb 16, 2014 7:48:23 GMT -5
You've always been the best midcarder in the world. Now watch Bryan achieve what you couldn't achieve as we collectively forget about you.
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Post by DoubleDare on Feb 16, 2014 8:00:51 GMT -5
I buried him alright, heres proof
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