Thoughts and play-by-play while watching:
Only 2½ hours? YES!
Sort out your microphone.
Chris Candido's dubbed theme makes me sad, much like most of the dubbed themes will.
Sunny looks super skanky.
I can't hear most of Candido's promo, although he does a good Joel Gertner impression.
Mic's sorted out. Good. I always loved Candido's frantic promo style.
So many Tazzplexes. The Tazzmission and that's it! 3D! What was the point of Candido having a title match again?
Hi, Cyrus! Always loved his banter with Joey.
Very tame for a Bubba promo.
I'm glad that a soundalike of Big Balls was used.
Elbow drop to the hip! Modified elbow drop to the hip! Don't think he got all of that...
Soundalike of Highway to Hell and out comes Spike. I'm assuming they couldn't keep the original commentary through the dubbing since Cyrus isn't talking.
Oh, Jesus! That bump by Spike! Double fallaway slam over the ropes to the floor!
Joel and Sign Guy get the table.
Superbomb through the table! Poor Spike.
Shit reverse DDT by D-Von.
Why didn't D-Von attack Balls after the 3D pin?
I love Gertner's fireball attempts.
Balls spits fire at Joel and is mildly confused at being low blowed by D-Von. 3D ends it.
And now we get the ECW opening video.
Super Crazy's original music, yay! Joel and Cyrus do a good job of selling Gertner being burned. I'm assuming this is a 24/7 rip as Joey saying WWF is censored.
Taka comes out in a WWF jacket. Joey saying WWF in the dubbed-in commentary is also censored.
I look forward to the flippy-flips.
Love Taka punishing Crazy for dropping down with an elbow drop and tapping his head.
Taka is able to stand after a DDT. Psychology!
Crazy doesn't know how to apply a sleeper.
Nice counter with Crazy turning a tornado DDT into a spinebomb. Crazy barely sells the springboard frankensteiner.
Insane moonsault plancha by Crazy.
I'm assuming Taka overshot that first enzuigiri.
Moonsault trifecta by Crazy only gets two.
I love the Michinoku Driver taunt! Taka can't follow up after hitting the driver due to his knee. Goes for a second but takes a sick DDT instead.
Straitjacket sitout bomb by Crazy wins it. Great athletic spectacle but lacking in psychology until Taka hurts his knee.
Where's Cyrus disappeared to?
Joel hands out the hitlist for the Dudleys who take out Nova. Love Bubba going "I don't know why we're attacking you, but we are."
Terrible dub theme for Little Guido. Tajiri has his ECW-made theme although I don't know if it's been dubbed in. The abrupt cut to the original commentary and the weird looping of the commentary while music is playing confirms that it's been dubbed in.
Love Cyrus getting on Joey's balls for explaining what a dragon suplex is.
Nice mat wrestling and I love Guido's overselling of the leglock roll. Tajiri looks badass.
Missile dropkick to the arm of Tajiri, that's specific. Guido misses the pescado.
FBI watch Tajiri climbing the ropes to dive on them way too long. Dive looked like shit, too.
Much more brutal match than the previous one. Both men just beating the shit out of each other. Tarantula but Big Blob Sal foils it.
Guido takes a sick bump over the ropes on to the ramp.
Sicilian Slice on the ramp from the ropes! Great distance by Guido.
Guido does the Roadkill pretend springboard for a splash for 2.
Tajiri dives right into the Fujiwara armbar. Guido distracts the ref so Sal can powerslam Tajiri. Tajiri kicks out and lowblows Guido. Sal is so useless he couldn't pick up Tajiri to drop him on the guardrail.
Guido oversells a dropkick to the knee. Guido doing his best to make Tajiri look even more badass than he is. Innovative roll into a triangle choke by Guido. Tajiri does his over-the-back airplane spin.
WHAT A f***ING SLAP BY TAJIRI!
Spinkick and a brainbuster finishes it. Great match with great psychology and stiff as f***.
Backstage, the Dudleys hunt down Rod Price. IT'S NOT PERSONAL BROTHER IT'S NOT PERSONAL BROTHER IT'S NOT PERSONAL BROTHER
Lance Storm comes out with Dawn Marie (with her stupid Tammy Lynn Bytch name) who looks amazing. Storm makes her put on knickers. Chicken-O-Rama soundalike. Cyrus is gone from commentary apparently. Dreamer comes out to a Man In The Box soundalike and with Francine who also looks great.
Should be a fun hardcore match.
Dreamer hits Storm with an open bottle of water which is always a stupid spot. Dreamer teases the death valley on the ramp but Storm counters into a reverse DDT.
Dreamer tries for a DDT on the chair but Storm counters mid-move with a back heel trip.
Dreamer eats a superkick for 2.
Really fake-looking atomic drop into the ringpost by Dreamer, Storm did not want to take that move and who can blame him?
Dreamer atomic dropped on to the barricade like a man. Crap looking spot where Storm goes for an axehandle while Tommy's still straddled.
Storm gets backdropped through a table, gives himself a very nice safe bump.
Stunner with a chair rocks Storm's jaw. Looked gnarly.
Storm looks jacked. Storm misses a baseball slide and gets rocked with a ladder. Storm gets tangled in the ladder and gets ran into the ringpost. Storm's bump with ladder knocks out the ref.
Dreamer misses a splash on the ladder and his knee gives a sickening crash as it hits the ladder.
Very laboured avalanche death valley driver through the table by Dreamer. Cyrus runs down to ringside but gets clotheslined by Francine and bronco bustered. I consider that more of a reward.
Dreamer gives Dawn a very safe piledriver for a nice arse shot for everyone. Storm puts the trashcan on Tommy's head and gives him a spinning heel kick off the top for a three count. Joey's commentary over Storm's theme at the end is very obviously dubbed being much louder than the original commentary. Weird commentary loop again.
Backstage, the Dudleys laugh about taking about Rod Price. Next on the hitlist is Jack Victory, who is their boy. Dudleys catch Jack coming out the toilet and take out his leg with a chair.
Random cut to Taz who apparently was watching Victory being taken out. Taz challenges the Dudleys to a match later tonight. Absolutely shit promo. Horrible.
Joey hypes up the TV title match but calls it the Heavyweight title by mistake.
Lynn comes out to unfitting dubbed music. Just realised that ring announcer Stephen D'Angelis has been drowned out all show due to the dubbed music. Sucks for him. RVD comes out to his dubbed theme (ridiculous since RVD already has a Walk soundalike in either his Whole Fn Show theme or One of a Kind theme). Dubbed commentary loops again.
Usual standoff shit. While it was unique to see in 1999, it's boring to watch in 2014.
Lots of strikes and counter-wrestling. Jerry Lynn slips while trying to land on his feet off a monkey flip.
RVD has a cut on his eye from somewhere. Impressive reverse springboard by RVD. Lynn hits RVD with a Jericho springboard dropkick and follows up with a plancha.
Guillotine fameasser spikes RVD. Lynn follows it up with an avalanche bulldog for two.
Alfonso crotches Lynn on the top rope but Lynn ducks the Van Daminator. Lynn gets recrotched and knocked off to the floor with a springboard sidekick. Lynn creams his face on the floor between the gap of the shitty mats and is KOed, busting his nose. RVD stalls so Lynn can wake up and resorts to physically lifting Lynn into the ring while talking to Lynn the entire time. RVD decides to whip Lynn over the barricade to buy him some time then dives over the rail with a clothesline. If this happened in 2014 WWE, the match would have rightly been stopped. Sadly, 1999 had a "be a man" attitude, f*** head injuries and get back in there.
Back to the action now and Lynn has his tornado DDT reversed into a northern lights suplex. Fans solidly behind Lynn, appreciating his toughness. Sunset powerbomb by Lynn gets two.
Back outside, Lynn gets hit with a Van Daminator off the barricade. Lynn takes an awkward backdrop off the top rope through a table from teasing a frankensteiner through a table the other side.
I'm amazed that Lynn is still going. RVD nearly crushes Lynn's poor head with a slingshot legdrop.
Lynn puts RVD through a table with a sunset powerbomb to the outside. Lynn catches his legs but thankfully didn't break the table before the bump happened.
Alfonso gets involved and creamed with a chair. Nice German suplex by Lynn gets a long two. Both men tried some sort of top rope spot but lose their balance, probably due to Lynn's head injury. Asshole fans chant YOU f***ED UP. Lynn dropkicks a chair into RVD's face.
Lynn's cradle piledriver is countered but Lynn counters straight into a sunset flip. Split-leg moonsault gets two.
RVD with a sick frogsplash but only gets two. Lynn takes the Van Daminator and is hit with a second frogsplash to finish it.
Good match but sadly stalls in the middle as a consequence of Lynn's injury. Match should have been stopped in my opinion but alas, it was a different time.
Really hate the dubbed commentary. I know it's a legal necessity and part of the technical limitation of dubbing out the original music but it's so jarring and unnatural.
Backstage, Bubba talks shit about Taz. I thought D-Von was New Jack for a second because I'm a racist idiot.
Big Dick comes into the interview dragging Chris Chetti in ( I didn't know Big Dick was even still in ECW at this point). D-Von punches Chetti but breaks his hand on his head, setting up a singles match.
Joey talks about how Shane Douglas is gone from ECW and Justin Credible has no scheduled replacement opponent.
Justin comes out with Jason and Jazz. Shit promo by Justin. Justin talks about how there's no ECW justice system, prompting Judge Jeff Jones to introduce Sid as Justin's new opponent.
Sid goes for the powerbomb but Jason breaks it up. Jason takes the powerbomb instead. Justin canes Sid to no avail and gets chokeslammed. Storm runs out and hits Sid with a springboard axehandle... and causes a f***ing DQ! In 1999 ECW! Are you shitting me?
Storm gets chokeslammed but Justin throws freedom powder in Sid's face. The fans chant for Sabu as Sid gets beat down and low blowed. Sabu comes out and beats on everyone including Sid. Sabu legdrops Sid and a security member through a table before being dragged out the arena. Sid gets pissed at Judge Jones for some reason as the fans chant for Sid to f*** him up. Sid obliges and powerbombs the judge twice (Jones bumps really badly off the second powerbomb right on his hip and lower back).
ECW World title time and Bubba comes out with just Sign Guy.
Bubba laments that D-Von has broken his hand for the explanation of the crowd who can't see the backstage segments. Heatless promo, sadly.
The lights drop for Taz's entrance. Taz starts out strong and grabs the mic. Taz announces falls count anywhere rules to try and grab the fans' interest, who still don't care that much. It's a foregone conclusion Taz is going to win. On the plus side, I now know where they got the soundbite from the end of Tazz's WWF Cypress Hill theme.
Drop toehold on the ramp, which Tajiri/Guido already did earlier. Taz hits Bubba with an FTW-painted stop sign.
Brawl out in the fans. Absolute garbage wrestling. Worthless.
Back in-ring, Taz hits Bubba with a head and arm super Tazzplex. D-Von comes out with his hand taped and gives Taz a reverse DDT, which gets a two.
Sidewalk slam by Bubba gets two. Fans start throwing shit in the ring. Don't know if it was out of heat or boredom. If it was me in the crowd, I'd know why. This match is boring as hell.
Bubba sets up two tables in the corner. Bubba starts pounding on Taz but Taz no-sells. Taz and Bubba get pissed with the ref and throw him through a table. Another ref runs out to count the pin for a sitout Bubba powerbomb, which gets two.
D-Von comes back in and they hit Taz with the 3D-B which only gets two. Dudleys go for a regular 3D but Taz counters, DDTing D-Von and T-Boning Bubba through a table.
Taz locks in the Tazmission and gets the win, retaining the ECW title.
Absolutely terrible heatless match. While Bully Ray is a bonafide main eventer, Bubba Ray was not and the fans knew it. An absolute wet fart to end the PPV.
Good PPV with great matches despite the Sid DQ and the shit main event. They should have just gone with Taz and Candido in a legitimate main event rather than the shite garbage affair we got.
All in all, I'm glad we watched this rather than Uncensored.