Post by Sephiroth on Jul 24, 2014 7:42:02 GMT -5
Put this in another thread a few weeks ago, was thinking about it and decided to elaborate. Might even make a full blown series out of it. Enjoy!
DR SHELBY: Good afternoon everyone, my name is Dr Shelby. You're all here because your friends and family have been worried about your behavior recently, and I'm here to help. During these sessions, we're going to explore the feelings that motivate your recent behavior, and once we understand those feelings we can resolve them, and you can all become happier, healthier people. Lets begin. Now, Mr Heyman, your friends and coworkers have been concerned that you are showing signs of obsessive compulsive disorder recently. How does that make you feel?
PAUL HEYMAN: I don't know what I'm doing here, there is absolutely nothing wrong with me. All I am guilty of is reminding people of a very important fact-my client, Brock Lesnar, conquered the streak!
DR SHELBY: Why don't we come back to you? Now then, Mr Sandow, some people close to you have been concerned that you are having some identity issues recently. Is there anything you'd like to tell us?
DAMIEN SANDOW: (dressed in white beard and holding notepad) I don't know who you are referring to, my name is not Damien Sandow. I'm Sigmund Freud, the father of modern psychiatric medicine. And I am aware that all of our problems are caused by sexual frustration. (turns to ALICIA FOX) Would you care to put my theory to the test? (slap!)
DR SHELBY: Alicia, that brings us to you. Your coworkers have become rather frightened as of late and say that you seem to be having trouble managing your anger. What do you have to say about this?
ALICIA FOX: I'm not angry, I'm sorry! (places her hands on DAMIEN SANDOW's face sympathetically) I'm sorry...I'm sorry...(slap!)
PAUL HEYMAN: Father of modern psychiatric medicine huh? You think that's impressive? I'll tell you whats impressive-my client, Brock Lesnar, conquered the streak!
DR SHELBY: Right, moving right along. Mr Rhodes, you're wife is concerned that you've acting out rather...flamboyantly lately. Is there something you need to share?
STARDUST: Shh! Listen, do you hear it? (blows dust from hands) Hear that sweet sounding music...from the staaaaars! It sings to us! Happy feet, I've got those happy feet! (stands up and starts dancing. Emma joins in)
DR SHELBY: Emma, you seem enthusiastic. You're friends are worried you've been acting a bit compulsive lately, would you like to share?
EMMA: I don't know, dancing just makes me happy!
ALICIA FOX: (rises and gets in EMMA's face) You know what makes me happy? Wiping that smile off you're face! (slap! They start pulling each other's hair and rolling across the floor)
DAMIEN SANDOW: See, sexual frustration!
PAUL HEYMAN: I like her aggression! Reminds me of when my client, Brock Lesnar, conquered the streak!
DR SHELBY: I think that's enough for one session. Same time next week?
DR SHELBY: Good afternoon everyone, my name is Dr Shelby. You're all here because your friends and family have been worried about your behavior recently, and I'm here to help. During these sessions, we're going to explore the feelings that motivate your recent behavior, and once we understand those feelings we can resolve them, and you can all become happier, healthier people. Lets begin. Now, Mr Heyman, your friends and coworkers have been concerned that you are showing signs of obsessive compulsive disorder recently. How does that make you feel?
PAUL HEYMAN: I don't know what I'm doing here, there is absolutely nothing wrong with me. All I am guilty of is reminding people of a very important fact-my client, Brock Lesnar, conquered the streak!
DR SHELBY: Why don't we come back to you? Now then, Mr Sandow, some people close to you have been concerned that you are having some identity issues recently. Is there anything you'd like to tell us?
DAMIEN SANDOW: (dressed in white beard and holding notepad) I don't know who you are referring to, my name is not Damien Sandow. I'm Sigmund Freud, the father of modern psychiatric medicine. And I am aware that all of our problems are caused by sexual frustration. (turns to ALICIA FOX) Would you care to put my theory to the test? (slap!)
DR SHELBY: Alicia, that brings us to you. Your coworkers have become rather frightened as of late and say that you seem to be having trouble managing your anger. What do you have to say about this?
ALICIA FOX: I'm not angry, I'm sorry! (places her hands on DAMIEN SANDOW's face sympathetically) I'm sorry...I'm sorry...(slap!)
PAUL HEYMAN: Father of modern psychiatric medicine huh? You think that's impressive? I'll tell you whats impressive-my client, Brock Lesnar, conquered the streak!
DR SHELBY: Right, moving right along. Mr Rhodes, you're wife is concerned that you've acting out rather...flamboyantly lately. Is there something you need to share?
STARDUST: Shh! Listen, do you hear it? (blows dust from hands) Hear that sweet sounding music...from the staaaaars! It sings to us! Happy feet, I've got those happy feet! (stands up and starts dancing. Emma joins in)
DR SHELBY: Emma, you seem enthusiastic. You're friends are worried you've been acting a bit compulsive lately, would you like to share?
EMMA: I don't know, dancing just makes me happy!
ALICIA FOX: (rises and gets in EMMA's face) You know what makes me happy? Wiping that smile off you're face! (slap! They start pulling each other's hair and rolling across the floor)
DAMIEN SANDOW: See, sexual frustration!
PAUL HEYMAN: I like her aggression! Reminds me of when my client, Brock Lesnar, conquered the streak!
DR SHELBY: I think that's enough for one session. Same time next week?