Johnny D
Don Corleone
Creature of the Night Forever
Posts: 2,090
|
Post by Johnny D on Aug 5, 2014 10:13:32 GMT -5
Do your worst FAN!!
|
|
|
Post by Magic knows Black Lives Matter on Aug 5, 2014 10:16:58 GMT -5
Brie Bella goes through a table.
Next night on Raw, they advertise it by using the hashtag #ItHappened
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 5, 2014 10:20:51 GMT -5
Brie Bella goes through a table. Next night on Raw, they advertise it by using the hashtag #ItHappened SWERVE! Brie is actually working for the Authority and took a bribe to go through the table. DOUBLE SWERVE! Brie uses the bribe money to hire Eric Bischoff to challenge Stephanie McMahon to a match at the next PPV.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 5, 2014 10:38:11 GMT -5
Jack Swagger vs. Rusev adds a stipulation to the flag match that the manager of the loser must strip naked.
Rusev wins.
However, before Zeb can get completely nude, he and Swagger tackle Lana and strip her nude.
Of course, we don't see anything, except it's very obvious (as Rusev covers her in the Russian flag) that she has a large penis.
.....Cole tries to impersonate JR going crazy, JBL vomits in his hat, and we hear Candy Crush Saga start up on Lawler's iPhone as we cut to Cena/Brock promo #86 of the night.....
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 5, 2014 10:50:18 GMT -5
Cena lays down for Brock, then angrily cuts a promo about the bullshit politics that go on in the back. Triple H comes out and demands to know why Cena is going off-script, only to get attacked by Brock. This eventually leads to a Cena/Brock vs. the Authority SHADES OF GRAY, BRO feud.
|
|
|
Post by SCCB Was Told To Do Steroids on Aug 5, 2014 10:57:37 GMT -5
Brie Bella goes through a table. Next night on Raw, they advertise it by using the hashtag #ItHappened SWERVE! Brie is actually working for the Authority and took a bribe to go through the table. DOUBLE SWERVE! Brie uses the bribe money to hire Eric Bischoff to challenge Stephanie McMahon to a match at the next PPV. TRIPLE SWERVE! It was actually Nikki, so this whole angle becomes invalid.
|
|
|
Post by Confused Mark Wahlberg on Aug 5, 2014 10:58:27 GMT -5
Turns out Brie is a boy like in Sleepaway Camp.
|
|
RIHT
Hank Scorpio
Wanted a title with "YOU'RE WELCOME!" Close enough.
Hey-yo.
Posts: 5,897
|
Post by RIHT on Aug 5, 2014 13:35:22 GMT -5
-Roman Reigns beats Randy Orton, then celebrates with The Authority afterwards, while Kane comes out to join them in his mask, completely forgetting him removing it from the Raw after losing to Roman Reigns in the Last Man Standing match.
-Nikki Bella tries to turn on Brie, only for Stephanie to reveal that Brie was in on it all along and for her to turn heel, only for Triple H to come out and reveal that he and Steph were in on it all along as Big Show comes out and knocks the Bella Twins out, revealing he was the one with them all along.
-Cody Rhodes returns for a match with commentary acknowledging he was Stardust, only for Stardust to compete later in the night and commentary has no idea who Stardust really is. This is setting up the eventual Corporate Goldust heel turn.
-After a commercial for the WWE Network, Undertaker quickly squashes Heath Slater after both got jobber entrances.
-During his match with Rusev, Jack Swagger gets a mic and reveals he is actually part Russian and turns on Colter, only for Rusev and Lana they were Bulgarian the entire time as Cesaro comes out and hits Swagger with the giant swing, thus awarding him his second United States Championship.
-Seth Rollins beats Dean Ambrose then cashes in his MITB on Dean Ambrose just to beat him again.
-Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena ends up being made a non-title match, where Brock must beat Cena to get a title shot. After a hard-fought battle, Lesnar beats Cena, and as he's about to get his title match, Michael Cole does his schpeel to close the show, as he announces that you can see the rest of the match on the WWE App. On the WWE App, Big Show, back as a babyface, helps Cena fend of Lesnar. There is never another title match between Lesnar vs. Cena.
|
|
The Sam
El Dandy
The Brainiest Sam of all
Posts: 8,423
|
Post by The Sam on Aug 5, 2014 13:56:47 GMT -5
Nathan Fillion pins Brock Lesnar for the WWE World Title after Cena fake shoot walks out on the company only to return the next night as an elaborate double swerve on Alicia Fox.
And then Daniel Bryan calls Brie Bella a bitch and a whore, because he 's a face you see.
|
|
|
Post by Confused Mark Wahlberg on Aug 5, 2014 13:57:54 GMT -5
Sting debuts and no one turns on him
|
|
Bo Rida
Fry's dog Seymour
Pulled one over on everyone. Got away with it, this time.
Posts: 23,534
|
Post by Bo Rida on Aug 5, 2014 14:02:32 GMT -5
Lana defects to America and becomes Swagger's cheerleader valet...actually that's not a bad idea.
The Undertaker returns but in his traditional way gets taken out by the latest stable, the New Nation put him through the announce table and say that zombies are another part of black culture that the white man have taken from them, ECW Zombie then joins their stable on the app.
Al Snow and Steve Blackman use Head and a kendo stick to help Brie win, Al gets on the mic and says head cheese look after their own and will celebrate by going out to eat Brie.
|
|
|
Post by SCCB Was Told To Do Steroids on Aug 5, 2014 14:28:24 GMT -5
The RAW after SummerSlam opens with all the talent on stage. Inside the ring is Russo and Bischoff with Russo on the mike. Russo his on to say that he's sick and tired of the bullshit politics in the back and the future of this company getting continuously screwed over by old farts, retreads, and part-timers. He swears that big changes are coming, and guys who deserve a shout well get one.
He calls about The Authority, and, breaking kayfabe, proclaims there is no more "living in the square", and, from now on, The E will be reality based. He then declares that, as soon as D Bry is medically cleared, he will get an immediate title-shot, because, like in most sports, a guy can't lose his spot to injury.
Bischoff then cuts in and says the changes start tonight, calling out new WWE Champ Brock Lesnar. The Beast appears with Paul Heyman in tow. Proudly yet reluctantly, the champ holds his belt awaiting what Sleazy E could mandate. Bischoff exclaims that this company is about stability, and we don't hire part-timers. Therefore, Lesnar has until 10:59 p.m. to sign an exclusive multi-appearance contract. In other words, he's either an employee or he's not. He then tells Lesnar, this time, it is personal. He goes on a ten minute rant about how much he has hated Heyman for years and finally has a chance to screw him over via Lesnar. He even dances around the accusation that he and Vince secretly conspired against him and WCW to eliminate it because neither Vince not he could do it on their own. In conclusion, if Lesnar doesn't sign contract, he automatically forfeits the title and both he and Russo will hand deliver the belt to a wrestler of their choosing to close the show.
Going back to The McMahons, Russo then decries the non-sensical booking and dares The Authority to fire him. Of course, they both know that Russo and Bischoff contractually receive a small fortune and stock in the company if they get fired without cause. Russo is going to do his job, the job he was hired to do. Immediately following Lesnar's decision, there well be a sixteen wrestler point-oriented, round-robin tournament to determine the number one contender to challenge whomever is champion at WM31. Bischoff doesn't care about Lesnar; he'll "shoot" on him and go heel, and if he doesn't like it, he can go crawling back to Dana, or, better yet, go "down south" (condescending hillbilly accent). If the McMahons don't like it, well, they can cut him his check on his way out the door, and he'll never look back. If Lesnar doesn't comply by 10:59, his current contract will be null and void, and he will no longer be champ. If he tries to pull a CM Punk, the Board of Directors and he well personally sure both him and Heyman for 300% of the worth of the belt plus the remainders of their contracts until he returns it to Stanford.
Embarrassed and gobsmacked, The Authority restructure to become the Billionaire Mafia, consisting of Cena, Orton, Batista, Kane, and HHH. Russo then calls DZ, Ryder, Cesaro, Reigns, Ambrose, and Rollins to the ring. He tells everyone that, just because I didn't call your name, doesn't mean he didn't have plans for you. He begins to call Rollins "Tyler" as a token of this fresh start. He tells the wrestling world that behind him is the future of pro-wrestling. They are going to build the company around the new people, whether The Authority likes it or not.
Cena reluctantly joins TBM because HHH convinced him that it's about self-preservation. Cena brings up the point that Russo had a point ad nauseam, but it falls on deaf ears, especially since he is part of the system that Russo is critiquing.
10:59 arrives and Lesnar decides to hand over the belt and tells Bischoff and Russo to f*** themselves. They laugh in his face and have actual cops take him out of the building. At 11 p.m., they declare the interim and new WWE Champ is....Dolph Ziggler!
Whew!
|
|
ASYLUMHAUSEN
Fry's dog Seymour
GIFs | Shitposts | Fun
Posts: 24,372
|
Post by ASYLUMHAUSEN on Aug 5, 2014 17:39:39 GMT -5
we already have a flag match...which is on a pole..so...isn't it kinda russo-ized already?
|
|
|
Post by thegame415 on Aug 5, 2014 18:05:00 GMT -5
1. Cena vs Lesnar OPENS the show. Cena comes out in street clothes and says he's tired of this. He was told to do the right thing and "job" the title tonight, but he won't do anything for a part timer who wants only money. He leaves with the title and says he's going home to Boston.
2. Flag Match: Swagger retrieves the Russian flag, but the match doesn't stop. The ring announcer says you are supposed to grab your OWN flag. Rusev is declared the winner, despite not grabbing a flag.
3. Bray Wyatt vs Chris Jericho: Bray wins after Justin Gabriel interferes, revealing himself to be a new follower. After the match, Bray gives him sister abigail, and the incident is never mentioned again.
HHH cuts a promo in the ring, saying he knows how many people paid to see a World title match, so he'll give them one. Tonight, it's now a triple threat with Orton vs Reigns vs Lesnar for the title. He's doing this because he, Paul Levesque, is a wrestling fan.
4. Diva's title: Paige vs AJ. It's turned into a no dq match. They brawl all over the arena, and end up outside of the Staples Center. AJ dumps Page down a sewer and closes the lid. For some reason, this makes her the winner.
5. IC title: Dolph Ziggler vs Miz. Both men agree that they've been held down for too long. Mike and Nick agree to become the new face of the WWE. They challenge anyone, and face the Uso's, who lose.
6. Dean Ambrose vs Seth Rollins. Kane gives Rollins his mask, making Rollins absorb his powers. The match ends in a no contest after Rollins tosses a flame in Ambrose's face. Ambrose begins wearing an eye patch.
7. Stephanie McMahon vs Brie Bella. The match is changed to a TAG MATCH. It's the Bellas vs Stephanie and Linda McMahon. Linda isn't tagged in until SWERVE, she ddt's Steph. For no apparent reason, the Bella's disrobe Steph an leave her in bra and panties with a HHH logo on the crotch. Paige returns from the sewer, dirty, and ddt's everyone. She screams and takes JBL's hat, helping Stephanie out and covering her.
8. Roman Reigns vs Brock Lesnar vs Randy Orton. Reigns hits a superman punch on Orton when Tito Ortiz, Chuck Liddell, Ken Shamrock and Quinton Jackson invade the ring. They lay out everyone. Lesnar grabs the title and Heyman screams into the microphone, "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I GIVE TO YOU, MEN MAIMING ANIMALS!"
|
|
|
Post by bigjohnsons on Aug 5, 2014 18:27:36 GMT -5
It's announced that Cena has been asked by the Make-a-Wish foundation to meet a child before he's match against Brock Lesner ,
Before he's match starts Cena walks into the Locker Room with the Make-a-Wish kid waiting for he's arrival , Cena begins talking to the child but he looks unimpressed , Cena looking confused looks towards the Make-a-Wish foundation staff and they reveal that kid is not the MAW child , Cena asks the staff where the child is , the staff begins calling out the missing child's name "Steve ! , where are you Steve !?"
"Oh right here Sarah " a older mans voice yells out , out from the shadows Stone Cold Steve Austin appears !!!!! Austin slams a Beer into Cenas skull and hits him with a. Stunner !!! Austin drags Cena to the ring and Brock goes for the pin !
1......2........3 !!!!!!! The crowd goes insane as the children weep , a dumpster backs into the arena and Austin throws Cena into the dumpster !!!
Cena is never heard from again , BOOM !!!!!
|
|
|
Post by PsychoGoatee on Aug 5, 2014 20:12:51 GMT -5
We don't know who are the good guys or who are the bad guys, shades of gray babay! The crowd might be quiet or confused, but I'd be enjoying it.
|
|
|
Post by Oh Cry Me a Screwball on Aug 5, 2014 20:26:37 GMT -5
The WWE Network actually costs 99.99.
|
|
|
Post by hisinsanity on Aug 5, 2014 20:50:03 GMT -5
Jack Swagger vs. Rusev adds a stipulation to the flag match that the manager of the loser must strip naked. Rusev wins. However, before Zeb can get completely nude, he and Swagger tackle Lana and strip her nude. Of course, we don't see anything, except it's very obvious (as Rusev covers her in the Russian flag) that she has a large penis. .....Cole tries to impersonate JR going crazy, JBL vomits in his hat, and we hear Candy Crush Saga start up on Lawler's iPhone as we cut to Cena/Brock promo #86 of the night..... I love it! One more though, somehow, we need to see Dusty Rhodes crucified naked on a glass crucifix.
|
|
|
Post by Grand Papillon "The Banker" on Aug 5, 2014 22:18:29 GMT -5
To wrestlenewz@dirtsheet.org Hey Paul and Steph, Just a few pointers for the show. Make sure that Ambrose v Rollins doesn't happen again. Cancel the match. and have Ambrose help Rollins cash in the briefcase. No one will see it coming! Why not book a Fandango v mexican guy with mask that isn't Rey Jr. match? Involve a pinata and a pole. AJ and Paige needs to be a bra and panties match or else no one will care. Sincerely, Your Pal, Vince PS: Don't let anyone know that I helped with this
|
|
|
Post by SCCB Was Told To Do Steroids on Aug 5, 2014 22:38:42 GMT -5
and the incident is never mentioned again. That is definitely Vinnie Ru's out pitch.
|
|