Russo-ize Summerslam

[Crappler El 0 M]

Rusev knocks out Swagger and is about to climb the ropes and pull down the Russian flag. Lana gets in the ring and gives Rusev a low blow. Then Jack Swagger comes to. Zeb Colter is directing him to go grab the U.S. Flag. Jack Swagger starts to go toward the U.S. Flag, then does an about face and goes to the Russian flag, retrieving it. Then Lana and Swagger laugh and then start kissing. Then Swagger gives a 'shoot' promo about how he can't stand what the U.S. has become and that he wishes America had a strong leader like Putin. He calls Zeb Colter a old, washed-up racist redneck. Lana then grabs the mic and says that Rusev is Bulgarian and not a real Russian. Jack Swagger is someone that Putin and Russia can really be proud of.

edit: Dang it! I'm not the first to have Swagger grab the wrong flag, though my Russo booking was different and more Russo-like.

[Stone Coke Miami Watson 🥃]

SWERVE: SummerSlam will now be scheduled in December in an undisclosed location in Antarctica.

DOUBLE SWERVE: Instead of SummerSlam this month, we'll be treated to an hour of SD Jones matches

[Sponsored by Groose Wipes]

Russo sends an email, the show gets canceled.