OOC: Sorry for being a few hours late, but here it is.
*Rita Perez’s music plays.*
*Rita comes out to loud cheers. She is wearing a black shirt with the Puerto Rican flag on it, blue jeans, and sneakers, and holding a chair and microphone. She walks down to the ring as some pyro goes off. Once she gets to the ring, she forgoes her usual entrance and just enters the ring.*
Rita: I’ve had a splitting headache for the last few weeks, and you all know why. So, I’m done playing by the rules. Lauren, Beth, we’re gonna settle this right now. I brought along an equalizer, so come on down and play. *The Breakfast Pack’s music plays.*
*The girls come out to the boos of the crowd. Lauren has on a Choose Breakfast shirt, acid wash jeans, and nice shoes. Beth has on a black sweater, blue scarf, blue dress, and black Doc Marten’s. Instead of walking down to the ring, they stay at the top of the entrance way.*
Lauren: Yeah, we’re not gonna do that.Beth: Like we’d go down there with that chair in your hands. Lauren: So, why don’t you like totally put that down, and we’ll talk, okay Betty?Rita: That ain’t gonna happen, putas!Lauren: Well, that sucks for you.Rita: And, why’s that? *Suddenly, Shaun Clark runs into the ring. He’s in a plaid shirt, khakis, and sneakers. He clubs Rita from behind with his forearm. She goes down as the crowd boos.*
TH: What the hell is this?JK: Those girls are smart! They ain’t gonna play Rita’s game. *Lauren and Beth run down to the ring as Shaun stomps on Rita. They enter ring, and Shaun picks up Rita holding her by her hair. Lauren grabs the chair from Shaun and slams it on the mat a few times.*
Lauren: So, you got a headache, huh? *slams the chair a few more times* How about we make it a whole lot worse? Looks like your equalizer won’t be much help.*Everyone starts laughing, even Rita. Soon, the Pack members realize she’s laugh and become confused.*
Lauren: Wait… Why are you laughing? Rita: That’s not my equalizer. *The crowd cheers a black woman in a white shirt and blue jeans runs from the crowd with a chair of her own. She slides into the ring and quickly hits Lauren with it. She goes flying into Beth, knocking them both down.*
JK: Who the hell is that!? TH: That’s Rita’s equalizer!JK: Somebody call security!*Shaun tries to attack her, but the woman slams the edge of the chair into his gut. He doubles over. Rita gets up and grabs the other chair, slamming it across his back.*
JK: Dammit! Where’s security!? Shaun Clark is getting assaulted!TH: Looks like justice to me!JK: How is this justice!? TH: After all the times the Pack has double- and triple-teamed people in FAWA, this is the very definition of justice.*Rita and the other woman grab Shaun and suddenly hit him with a double vertebreaker. The crowd cheers. Beth and Lauren get up as Rita and her friend pick up Shaun. They go for the move again, but Beth and Lauren rush in, hits the girls with stereo forearm shots, and exit the ring with Shaun. They walk up the ramp, comforting Shaun. Rita and the woman recover and move to the ropes.*
Rita: As I was saying, that chair ain’t my equalizer. It was just bait. This is my equalizer. This woman right here is the Hot Blooded Haitian, Marie Martinique! That’s right! You two aren’t the only ones with friends.Marie: I’ve been watchin’ my girl for dee past few weeks, and I haven’t liked wat I’ve been seein’. You two scrubs have been beatin’ her like a dog for too damn long. I’m here ta even da score. Ya think ya dee big girls awound here, but you got dat all wong! I’m here ta teach you some tings about manners and wespect. And, if ya don’t like dat, den I’ll just have ta beat those tings into ya. ‘Cause you ain’t just facin’ my girl. You now facin’ The Caribbean Crew!*The crowd cheers at this.*
TH: Looks like things are gonna get interesting for the Breakfast Pack girls now.JK: Somebody get security out here now!TH: I think Marie has a job here now. JK: Dammit! This is totally NOT rad!NiteRaw Week 16*Fireworks shoot out from the stage as the camera heads to “Gorilla” Tim Hoss & Jesse King.*
Tim Hoss: Welcome everyone to NiteRaw. I’m “Gorilla” Tim Hoss and with me is my partner, Jesse King Jesse King: And unlike Jerry Rice, I’m not going to call someone else for cheating while I cheat as well. I’m a cheater and I’m proud of all cheating. TH: Lord of the Ring has come and gone and now we are on the road to Spring Breakdown. This week we will be having two matches. First, we have 2015 Lord of the Ring winner Jonathan Michaels team with AmericAnt to take on two members of the Breakfast Club in Brandon Barger and Nick Britt.JK: Jono was lucky to have won last night. But he won’t be winning tonight as he is also saddled with that overrated pest, taking on two of the elite who love the 80s in Barger and Britt. We’re going to be doing a lot of coke and vote for Ronald Reagan.TH: What???JK: Uh……Forget I said that.TH: I really would love to. Our other match is a steel cage encounter to settle a new rivalry with Jordan Mac and Evil M. Jordan Mac won’t be getting a lot of help from his Black Gold Club and Evil M won’t be able to use his briefcase as both are in that 15 foot high cage.JK: Aw man…..why can’t those two just be friends? I like both of them.TH: No honor among thieves I guess. And before this show even began, we had a moment where Rita Perez had an equalizer against the Breakfast Pack.JK: And it stinks that Jessica would hire people and not let everyone know.TH: We are in pro wrestling. That happens all the time Anyway, we have a show to do.*Michael Rose’s music plays:*
TH: I wonder what he’s gonna do out here.Jesse King: Why is he out here? Shouldn’t he be looking for his girl?TH: Well, I’d imagine he’s gonna call out the masked man responsible for taking Kerri Thompson.*Rose comes out to the cheers of the crowd. He’s wearing a black t-shirt with a red rose on it, blue jeans, and sneakers. And, he looks pissed. He walks into the ring with a microphone.*
Michael Rose: I’m gonna make this short—to the asshole who took Kerri, you have one minute to bring her back or show up. Either way will keep me from coming to find you and tear you into little pieces. So, show me that she’s safe RIGHT f***ING NOW!!!!*Suddenly, an image appears on the FAWAtron. Rose looks up to see Kerri ties up and gagged. The man with the smiley face mask shows up. He starts to speak, his voice distorted.*
Smiley Face: Hello, Mr. Rose. Don’t worry. Your girlfriend is okay, relatively speaking. But, she won’t be for long. You have ten minutes to come down here to the boiler room or else… Well, let’s just say her pretty little face will never look the same after I’m done.*Before the video can cut off, Rose runs out of the ring.*
TH: Who is this monster that would do such a thing?JK: Hey! They brought this on themselves! TH: Are you kidding me? These two have always been provoked first!JK: Whatever Hoss!TH: Now is time for our first match and we have Michael Muffer in the ring.Michael Muffer: The following contest is a tag team match, scheduled for one fall.*AmericAnt’s music plays:*
MM: Introducing first...from The Land of Opportunity...at 6 feet, 5 inches...weighing in at 302 lbs...AmericAnt!!!*AmericAnt comes down from the back waving the US flag as he goes to the ring. Inside the ring, he does poses ala Hulk Hogan and then hands the flag to the referee.*
TH: We are in for some great tag team action as AmericAnt and Jonathan Michaels team up to take on The Breakfast Pack.JK: It will be interesting to see how The Pack handles these two after their past run-ins with them. I’m sure they’ve learned a lot and are totally prepared to take them down.*Jonathan Michaels’s music plays:*
MM: And his partner...from Los Angeles, California...at 6 foot, 3 inches...weighing in at 240 lbs...Jonathan Michaels!!!*Michaels walks out as Smoke, no pyro, blows behind him and video of dangerous film stunts play. He has on a Jonathan Michaels t-shirt, an open black dress shirt over it, jeans, and hiking boots. He walks down to the ring and enters it.*
TH: There he is, the Lord Of The Ring![/p]
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JK: Yeah, the guy who should’ve been out in the first round somehow weaseled his way to winning the whole thing.TH: He was nearly screwed out of the tournament by his opponents. And, he didn’t weasel his way to anything. He was given a second chance and made the most of it.*The Breakfast Pack’s music plays:*
MM: And, their opponents, coming down to the ring, at a combined weight of 542 pounds, from Schermer, Illinois—Nick Britt and Brandon Barger… THE BREAKFAST PACK.*The crowd boos as Nick and Brandon come from behind the entranceway curtain. Nick walks out with a cocky strut, wearing his letterman's jacket and red wrestling tights with blue neon lightning bolts on the legs and blue knee pads, elbow pads, and boots. Brandon comes out looking calm and nonchalant, wearing a denim jacket, a white t-shirt, biker’s gloves, black khakis, and black Doc Marten’s boots. They walk down to the ring and stop right before entering it. Then, they hold up their right fists for several seconds.*
TH: I’m surprised they didn’t come out with their fellow Packers.JK: Those guys must be licking their wounds after the vicious attack by Rita Perez and her friend earlier tonight.TH: Well, that “vicious attack” was payback for what happened to Rita two weeks ago.JK: So!?*Just before they can enter the ring, Jonathan Michaels and AmericAnt fly out of the ring and attack Brandon and Nick respectively. The ref quickly calls for the bell.*
TH: Looks like AmericAnt and Michaels are gonna take the match to them first!JK: Again, the Pack are the victims of a sneak attack! *Michaels throws Brandon into the ring while AmericAnt attacks Nick on the outside. He then throws Nick into the ring. Michaels beats down on Brandon before clotheslining him over the ropes and sending him to the outside. The ref stops Michaels from going after him so that the match can begin properly. AmericAnt continues beating on Nick. AmericAnt kicks Nick in the gut and pushes him back against the ropes. He whips Nick across the ring and goes for a clothesline, but Nick ducks it. Nick bounces off the ropes and charges at AmericAnt, who ducks down onto the mat. Nick jumps over him and bounces off the ropes again. AmericAnt gets up and hits him with the Star Spangled Elbow (Bionic Elbow). Nick goes down.*
TH: Star Spangled Elbow takes Nick Britt down.JK: The Pack is gonna have to pull out all the stops if they wanna recover from that attack. *AmericAnt drops several more elbows onto Nick. He then grabs Nick’s leg, going for some kind of submission; but Brandon runs into the ring to stop him. However, AmericAnt gets the jump on him with several punches that send him back out. Nick gets up, but AmericAnt grabs him and bodyslams him. AmericAnt then stomps on Nick a few times before going to the top. He climbs up to the top turnbuckle and waits. Nick gets up, and AmericAnt jumps off with the Rocket's Red Glare (Flying Clothesline). He then goes for a pin.
1…
2…
Nick kicks out.*
TH: The Rocket’s Red Glare isn’t enough to take out Nick Britt.JK: He gave Nick too much time to recover. He should have kept on beating on him and then tagged out to Michaels. That’s Tag Team Wrestling 101, Hoss. And, the Patriotic Pest could use a lesson or two in it. *AmericAnt picks up Nick and pulls him into his team’s corner. AmericAnt tags out to Michaels. Michaels climbs to the top as AmericAnt holds Nicks arm. Michaels jumps off with a fist drop onto Nick’s arm. He then takes over beating on Nick as AmericAnt exits the ring. Michaels runs over and blasts Brandon with an elbow before going back to Nick with a wristlock, jumping up and down to wrench on it. However, Nick suddenly rolls over and to get out of it, turning the wristlock around into one of his own. He rakes Michaels eyes and then hits him with New Year’s Day (Leg hook reverse STO).*
TH: New Year’s Day from Nick Britt.JK: Looks like the Pack is about to take over.TH: It would appear so, but let’s not count out AmericAnt and Jonathan Michaels yet.*Nick tags in Brandon, and they hit Michaels with a double superkick. Nick exits the ring, and Brandon grabs Michaels in a headlock. However, Michaels pushes himself and Brandon up and into the ropes. He throws Brandon off, sending him across the ring. Brandon bounces off the ropes, and Michaels charges at him. But, Brandon surprises him with a running big boot, knocking him down. Michaels gets up and runs to the ropes. He hits Brandon with a shoulder block, but it doesn’t phase him. Michaels runs to the ropes again, but Brandon leapfrogs him as Michaels runs across the ring. Michaels bounces off the ropes as Brandon turns around. Brandon leapfrogs again, but Michaels stops shorts and pokes Brandon’s eye. The crowd cheers.*
JK: How is that legal, Hoss!?TH: The ref doesn’t like the Pack?JK: And, that’s fair!?TH: It was a joke, King. Relax. *Michaels backs into the ropes, bounces off of them, and spears Brandon. He locks Brandon in a headlock and punches him several times. Michaels then gets up and punches Nick. Michaels goes back to Brandon, pushing him back into the ropes. He tries to whip him across the ring, but Brandon reverses it. As Michaels bounces off the ropes, Brandon goes for a clothesline. Michaels ducks it and bounces off the ropes. Brandon goes for a punch, but Michaels ducks it with a baseball slide. Michaels gets up and clotheslines Brandon. He then goes for a pin.
1…
2…
Brandon kicks out.*
TH: So far, Michaels and AmericAnt are getting the best of the Pack. JK: Yeah, but the Pack is a team. They’ve been working together for a lot longer. I’m sure they’ll eventually get the better of the Pest and the Stuntman.*Michaels picks up Brandon, puts him in a wristlock, and then tags in AmericAnt. He holds Brandon as AmericAnt gets into the ring and kicks him in the gut. Michaels exits as AmericAnt continues kicking and stomping on Brandon. He grabs Brandon’s legs and drops a leg between them. AmericAnt gets ups and uncharacteristically starts choking Brandon. The ref starts counting.
1…
2…
3…
4…
AmericAnt lets go.*
TH: AmericAnt is really angry with Brandon Barger. He doesn’t normally resort to those kinds of tactics.JK: I don’t know. Anyone willing to bring a buffalo to the ring is capable of anything.TH: Oh, that was just harmless fun. JK: Harmless fun? Have you ever seen a buffalo when he’s angry!?TH: Have you?JK: Yeah, when mixed tequila and vodka one night in 1997. *AmericAnt picks up Brandon, puts him into a wristlock, and jumps down to wrench on it. He pulls Brandon over to his corner and tags in Michaels. Michaels kicks Brandon’s arm and takes over on the wristlock. AmericAnt exits the ring as Michaels wrings it. Michaels then tags AmericAnt back in, who enters the ring kicks Brandon’s arm. Michaels throws Brandon into the corner and exits the ring as AmericAnt attacks him. After kicking his arm a few times, AmericAnt pulls him out with an armbar. However, Brandon pushes AmericAnt into the ropes and throws him off. AmericAnt hits the ropes, and Nick hits him with a knee to the back. AmericAnt turns around to hit him, but Brandon hits him from behind.*
JK: What did I tell you!? TH: A knee to back may have given The Pack control of the match.*Brandon tags in Nick. Nick drops down and pulls AmericAnt out of the ring. The ref starts counting.
1…Nick punches AmericAnt.
2…Nick continues punching AmericAnt around the steel steps.
3…AmericAnt falls over onto the steel guardrail, and Nick clubs in him the back with a forearm.
4…Nick picks up AmericAnt and drops him throat first onto the guardrail.
5…Nick stomps on him several times.
6…Suddenly, Michaels runs over to stop Nick. The ref runs out of the ring to stop him, breaking the count. Michaels yells at the ref, allowing Brandon to drop down. They both stomp and kick AmericAnt.*
TH: What blatant cheating from the Pack!? JK: Well, the only reason they’re getting away with it is because Jonathan Michaels is distracting the ref.TH: Well… You got a good point there.*The ref gets Michaels to go back. Brandon moves back to the corner, and Nick throws AmericAnt back into the ring. Nick reenters the ring and drops an elbow onto AmericAnt. Nick then puts AmericAnt into a reverse chinlock. He has it locked on tight at AmericAnt struggles to get out of it. Nick holds onto the hold for a few minutes. AmericAnt keeps trying to get out. Eventually, he manages to pull himself up. Nick still has the hold locked on, and AmericAnt starts punching his way out. Eventually, Nick lets go. AmericAnt runs to the ropes and bounces off of them. He then hits Nick with a leaping shoulder block. AmericAnt runs to the ropes, Nick rolls over as AmericAnt jumps over him, AmericAnt bounces off the ropes, and then Nick gets up and locks AmericAnt into a sleeper hold.*
TH: Out of the frying pan and into the fire for AmericAnt! JK: More like a magnifying glass! Huh, Hoss!? Get it!?TH: Yeah, I got it.*Nick has it locked on tight as AmericAnt struggles to get out of it. However, AmericAnt manages to get out with a jawbreaker. Both men are down. The ref starts counting.
1…Both men are down.
2…Both men are still down.
3…Both men are STILL down.
4…AmericAnt starts crawling over to his corner.
5…Nick starts crawling over to his corner.
6…They continue to crawl to their corners.
7…Nick gets a tag to Brandon.
Brandon enters the ring. He tries to stop AmericAnt, but he gets the tag to Michaels. Michaels runs in and starts punching Brandon.*
TH: Both men get the tag!JK: Looks like Michaels is now under the magnifying glass.TH: What does that mean?JK: I don’t know.*Michaels punches Brandon back to the ropes and tries to whip him across the ring. However, Brandon reverses it. Michaels bounces off the ropes and surprises Brandon with a flying forearm smash. He gets up, runs over, and knocks Nick off the apron. Brandon gets up only to be clotheslined back down by Michaels. He picks up Brandon and pushes him back into the ropes. He tries to whip Brandon across the ring, but Brandon reverses it. He sends Michaels across the ring. As he bounces off the ropes, Brandon ducks and catches Michaels on his shoulders, slamming him to the mat with Private Investigations (Alabama Slam).*
TH: Good GAWD! Vicious move to Jonathan Michaels.JK: Looks like the tide has turn back to the Pack’s favor.*Michaels rolls to the outside to get away and recover, but Nick runs over to him and picks him up. AmericAnt goes to stop him, but the ref stops him. Nick then slams Michaels back first into the steel post. He stomps on Michaels and then throws him into the ring once the ref is done with AmericAnt. He goes back to his corner as Brandon attacks him. He picks up Michaels, who surprise Brandon with a few punches. He punches Brandon a few times, but an eye poke stops him. He then kicks Michaels in the gut and hits him with Tunnel Of Love (Jumping release fisherman suplex). He goes for a pin.
1…
2…
Michaels kicks out.*
TH: Tunnel Of Love almost takes out Michaels. Operative word being almost.JK: Well, it won’t be almost for too long.*Brandon gets up and grabs Michaels legs. He then catapults Michaels into a corner. Brandon hits him with a clothesline smash and then turns Michaels around. He whips Michaels across the ring into the opposite corner. Michaels flips over onto the top turnbuckle and falls down onto his feet. Brandon then kicks Michaels in the gut and hits him with Making Movies (Spin-out powerbomb). He goes for a pin.
1…
2…
AmericAnt runs into the ring and breaks up the pin.*
TH: AmericAnt breaks up the pin.JK: I don’t like it, but it’s a smart thing to do.*Nick enters the ring and attacks AmericAnt. They go at it for a few seconds before the ref pulls them apart and gets AmericAnt back to his corner. With the ref distracted, Brandon moves onto the apron; and Nick takes his place. Nick picks up Michaels onto his shoulders and hits him with Trip Through Your Wires (Electric chair facebuster). He goes for a pin.
1…
2…
Michaels kicks out.*
TH: Nick Britt takes over despite no tag made.JK: Hey! If AmericAnt hadn’t run in and distracted the ref, then the Pack wouldn’t have taken advantage.TH: They could just play by the rules. JK: Where’s the fun in that, Hoss!? *Nick gets up and stomps on Michaels a few times. He then goes to the top, jumping off with Bullet The Blue Sky (Top rope somersault legdrop). He goes for another pin.
1…
2…
Michaels kicks out.*
TH: Bullet The Blue Sky! But, it doesn’t get the pin. JK: Michaels is one tough customer—I’ll give him that.*Michaels goes for a tag, but Nick puts him into a reverse chinlock. Michaels doesn’t struggle, but Nick has it locked on tight. Michaels takes his time push himself up and out of the hold. After a few minutes, he manages to get himself and Nick off the mat. He hits Nick with a few elbows to the gut, getting him to let go. He then goes to the ropes, bounces off of them, and hits Nick with a shoulder block. Michaels goes to the ropes again. Nick rolls over as Michaels jumps over him and bounces off the ropes. Nick gets up and suddenly hits him Michaels with One Tree Hill (Jumping superkick). Nick goes for the pin again.
1…
2…
AmericAnt enters the ring and breaks up the pin again.*
TH: One Tree Hill! This should do it! No, it doesn’t! AmericAnt breaks it up!JK: It’s not gonna last! The Pack is gonna get to Michaels or find a way to take out AmericAnt.*AmericAnt exits the ring. Nick gets up, picks up Michaels, and whips him into the Pack’s corner. Nick then runs over and hits AmericAnt. He tries to enter the ring to get after Nick, but the ref stops him. This allows Brandon to choke Michaels. Nick runs over and punches Michaels in the gut. The ref gets AmericAnt to exit the ring, and the Pack lets go of Michaels. Nick punches Michaels a few times and then tags in Brandon. Nick then hits Michaels with a spinning sole kick followed by a superkick from Brandon followed by an enzuigiri (Nick)/superkick (Brandon) combo.*
TH: Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo!JK: Man, that was a terrible movie!TH: I’ve never seen it!JK: Lucky you!*Nick exits the ring as Brandon picks up Michaels. He pushes Michaels back into the ropes and whips him across the ring. He goes for another Private Investigations (Alabama Slam), but Michaels counters with a sunset flip into a pin. However, Nick tries to reenter the ring, distracting the ref. Michaels has Brandon in the pin for a long while. Nick finally exits the ring, and the ref finally makes the pin.
1…
2…
Brandon kicks out. Both men get up, and Brandon blasts Michaels with Your Latest Trick (Lariat).*
JK: Your Latest Trick knocks out Michaels! TH: Michaels had this match won, dammit! But, Nick Britt stopped the ref from making the pin!JK: So!? AmericAnt’s been breaking up pins all match! Turn about is fair play, Hoss! *Brandon drops a few fists onto Michaels before going for a pin.
1…
2…
Michaels kicks out. Brandon argues the call. Michaels tries to get a pin, but Brandon stops him, putting Michaels into a front face lock. He has it locked on tight, but Michaels tries pushing to get a tag to AmericAnt. Michaels gets closer and closer. He’s almost there. He gets to AmericAnt’s hand, and…
Nick runs into the ring. The ref stops him. Michaels gets the tag, but the ref doesn’t see it. AmericAnt enters the ring, and the ref intercepts him. Nick and Brandon double-team Michaels as AmericAnt argues with the ref. While they argue, the Pack hits Michaels with Footloose (Brandon performs a reverse STO using the added momentum from an enziguiri by Nick). The ref finally gets AmericAnt to leave the ring as Brandon exits the ring and Nick takes his place. The ref, of course, didn’t see that.*
TH: I don’t believe this! How is the Breakfast Pack able to get away with such blatant cheating!JK: They are masters of tag team wrestling! They know how to keep the ref distracted. And, it is paying off.*Nick grabs Michaels and rams him head first into a neutral corner. He then grabs Michaels for a suplex and puts him onto the top turnbuckle. Nick climbs up to the top and goes for a top rope hurricanrana, but Michaels holds on. Nicks falls down to the mat. Michaels gets up and jumps off with a diving crossbody, staying on Nick for a pin.
1…
2…
Nick kicks out. Both men get up, and Nick suddenly hits Michaels with Sunday, Bloody Sunday (Spear followed by several punches to the head).*
TH: Just when it looked like Michaels was about to come back, Nick stops him with Sunday, Bloody Sunday.JK: The Pack is just too good! That’s why you should Choose Breakfast, Hoss. What am I saying? You always choose breakfast.*Nick gets up, picks up Michaels, and whips him into a corner. He then goes for a running senton, but Michaels rolls out of the way. Nick hits the turnbuckle and falls down. Michaels crawls over to AmericAnt to make the tag. Nick does the same thing. Nick gets to his partner, but so does Michaels!*
JK: Nick gets the tag!TH: But, so does Michaels!*The crowd goes wild as AmericAnt runs in and clotheslines Brandon. He then clotheslines Nick. He punches both men, eventually clothesline Nick over the ropes. AmericAnt then punches Brandon into a corner. He kicks Brandon in the gut repeatedly before throwing Brandon out with a hip toss. He goes to pick up Brandon, but Nick attacks him. Michaels runs over and attacks Nick. The ref pulls them apart. They exit the ring, and AmericAnt suddenly hits him with Stars & Stripes (Three Point Stance Clothesline). He goes for a pin.
1…
2…
Brandon kicks out.*
TH: Stars & Stripes doesn’t get the pin.JK: It’s gonna take a lot more than that to keep Brandon Barger down.*AmericAnt picks up Brandon and pushes him back into the ropes. He whips Brandon across the ring and goes for a clothesline, but Brandon surprises him with a flying shoulder block. Both men go down, and Brandon rolls over to make the tag to Nick. He runs in as AmericAnt gets up and hits him with Running To Stand Still (Running side-effect). He goes for a pin.
1…
2…
AmericAnt kicks out.*
TH: Another near fall, this time from the Pack. JK: It’s just a matter of time, Hoss, and the match will be over. *Nick picks up AmericAnt and pushes him back into the ropes. He doesn’t notice Michaels making a blind tag. Nick whips him across the ring and charges at him with a clothesline. AmericAnt ducks it. Nick turns around only to be hit by the Fade To Black superkick from Michaels as he enters the ring. Nick goes down. Michaels covers him. Brandon tries to break up the pin, but AmericAnt stops him with a clothesline.
1…
2…
3!
The bell rings. Jonathan Michaels’s music plays:*
MM: Here are your winners—AmericAnt and Jonathan Michaels! TH: Fade To Black ends the match! Well, you were right about that!JK: That’s not what I meant! *AmericAnt and Michaels celebrate their victory. Brandon enters the ring with a chair, but AmericAnt surprises him with the Old Glory Boot (Discus Boot), knocking the chair into his face.*
TH: And, the Pack’s plans for a sneak attack are spoiled!JK: This is not a good night for the Pack! Totally not a good night!*We open on Michael Rose walking backstage. Suddenly, Brandon Barger, in his street clothes, walks up to him.*
Brandon: Hey! I gotta bone to pick with your girl.*Rose suddenly kicks him in the groin and throws him into a vending machine. He walks away, eventually making his way to the boiler room. He opens the door. Inside, it’s dark except for a red light at the end of a scary looking hallway. Michael runs down it. After a few seconds, he reaches the end. Sitting there is Kerri, tied up and gagged.*
Rose: Kerri!*Rose runs over to untie her, but he’s suddenly attacked from behind by the masked man, Smiley Face. He slams Rose hard against the table. Kerri struggles and yells through the gag.*
Smiley Face: Quiet you! Now, Mr. Rose, I’m glad you could make it. You look thirsty. In fact, you both do. Why don’t I get you all the water you can stand? TH: Do you see that? This Smiley Face now has kidnapped both Kerri and Michael Rose.JK: Well, can’t wait to see what he has planned.TH: That is horrible, Jesse. He could murder them.JK: Relax…..he is just going to give then some water. They looked thirsty to me after all.TH: Will you stop?JK: What do we have next so we can get out of this morbid anger.TH: Well, next we have the sit-down interview that we have all been waiting for, Jerry Fish goes to Germany to interview the man who refereed the Lord of the Ring Finals, Seth Drakin.JK: I want to know what was Seth’s problem with Jordan?TH: Well, maybe he’ll answer that. Jerry, are you there?*We are in a room with Jerry Fish and Seth Drakin, who is seated in a chair with a puggle (pug/beagle mix) on his lap.*
Jerry Fish: Yes, I am here in Wiesbaden, Hesse, Germany and the home of Seth Drakin.Seth Drakin: Don’t forget that the FAWA boss Jessica lives here too when she isn’t busy running that show of yours.Jerry: Yes, I cannot forget that. And you seem to have a dog on your lap.Seth: Yes, I do…but her name is not important to anyone in FAWA so I won’t say any more about her. So go ahead and ask your questions.Jerry: Yes, of course…everyone here was surprised to see you at Lord of the Ring as the special guest referee. And more people were surprised when you decided to play fair. What has caused this change as a lot of people believe you were on a hiatus?Seth: I still am on a hiatus as far as wrestling is concerned. Refereeing on the other hand…I guess I could do that. Jessica needed a referee for that match and she chose me, considering I was the previous Lord of the Ring, to do the honors. As far as playing fair goes, well…I may be an asshole, but I am an equal opportunity asshole. Jonathan was never going to trust me and knowing him, if he had lost in any way, he would have complained about me being the ref as well as Jordan’s men being there. So I sent out those Black Gold Club members and considering I needed to play fair or I would be in for some consequences, I couldn’t do any of my usual shenanigans. It is not my fault if Jordan couldn’t get the job done on his own. Jerry: Yes, about Jordan, he seems to have an issue with your decisions in that match. What do you have to say to him?Seth: All I have to say to that guy who obvious feels entitled is I see a bit of myself in him, except he isn’t as cunning as I am or he would have gotten the job done. Also, if he has a problem with me for what he considers is profiling on him specifically, he is going to have to wait in a long, long, LONG, line of people who want to air their grievance with me so as far as him being mad, I tend to pay little attention to him since considering what I have done to others and what I did to him, it was really minor.Jerry: So what are your aspirations for the future? Any thoughts on coming back to add more to your resume.Seth: Jerry, do you know how old I am? Nearly a month ago, I celebrated my 42nd birthday. Do you know how old most wrestlers are when they die? Less than 50 years. In November, the one week that my wife wasn’t at the office, she and I had to bury my uncle. Do you know how old he was? No….he was 49 years old. As far as I am concerned with my wrestling past and my family past, I have 7 years left if I have even that because I wouldn’t even make it to that if I wrestled a full schedule. That fall from the cell during the last match at Gookermania VII gave me some huge perspective and that perspective is if I need to spend more time being alive for my family, and less time appeasing opponents’ egos and entertaining those blood-thirsty fans. Jerry: Well, that’s a really dark perspective. I guess I need to not end this interview with something less dark. Is there a chance we will see you wrestle again for FAWA???Seth: Oh absolutely. Right now, I see Gookermania VIII being my next opportunity. Honestly, I don’t want to wrestle in FAWA until then. I might do other places because they have a lighter schedule, but FAWA….Gookermania VIII will be when I wrestle next because despite the fact that my last match was at Gookermania, I am truly Mr. Gookermania and I will be giving my opponent the match of a lifetime. Jerry: Alright, so that ends this sit-down interview with Seth Drakin so back to you, Tim and Jesse.TH: Thanks, Jerry and that interview definitely opened a lot of eyes.JK: I know it opened my eyes and for the first time in my entire life, I’m going to say this right now….I’ve lost a lot of respect for Seth Drakin.TH: What??!!!JK: You heard me. That man has decided that due to some bogus statistics that he isn’t going to give us his presence. He has a contract that he held this company up for several years and now he is going to for most days just go home. That is bogus.TH: Those are legit stats. Wrestlers do not live very long and Seth has decided based on personal experience that he wants to beat that trend and not be another name in the statistic. Seriously, Seth is joining a number of wrestlers like Edge and CM Punk who are going to get out before things get worse.JK: And those are cowards.TH: I would love to hear you say that with Seth or any of those other guys are in the vicinity.JK: Don’t you even start.*We open on a deserted bridge. A white truck pulls up. Inside is the masked man, Smiley Face. He stops the car and gets out. He walks over to the bed of the truck. Inside it are Kerri Thompson, still tied up, and a knocked out Michael Rose. Next to them are some chains and cinderblocks. He opens the truck bed and pulls them out.*
Smiley Face: Are you two still thirsty? Well, don’t worry. You’ll get plenty to drink in the river. And, to make sure you get all the water you’ll ever need, I’m gonna weigh you down with these cinderblocks. How about that?*Smiley Face grabs the chains and cinderblocks. He goes to tie a chain around Kerri’s legs, but she struggles and yells.*
Smiley Face: Stop fighting! I’m trying to help you! *He keeps on trying to tie the chain around Kerri’s ankles. Suddenly, a black Mustang pulls up. Sorrow jumps out of the car, in all black. He doesn’t even bother to stop it, and it crashes into the bridge barrier. Smiley Face looks up at him.*
Sorrow: NO! They’re MINE!
*Sorrow charges at Smiley Face, and they start punching one another. Soon, Sorrow gets the upperhand and throws Smiley Face down onto the pavement, knocking him loopy for a bit. Sorrow then looks around at the scene.*
Sorrow: I do have to admit—I like your idea! Hmm… Why don’t you take a dip with them? But, I’m gonna send Rose first.
*Sorrow walks over, grabs a chain, and tries to tie the chain around his legs. However, Rose has recovered a little and pushes Sorrow off with his legs. Kerri gets behind Sorrow, and he falls over her and hits the barrier. Kerri and Rose get up and push him off. He screams as he falls over and lands in the water with a loud splash.*
TH: Good GAWD! Sorrow fell into the river!JK: It should have been Kerri or Rose! TH: Stop that! That would’ve been murder!JK: Oh, the water can’t be that deep! TH: You’re sick.*Rose helps Kerri get untied. Suddenly, Smiley Face gets up and attacks Rose. Rose fights back. Kerri gets the rest of her ropes off and grabs a chain. She wraps it around Smiley Face’s neck and pulls back, choking him. She then ties the chain around a part of the bridge barrier.*
TH: Good GAWD! They’re choking him! JK: Now that’s murder!TH: Well, he was gonna do the same!JK: And, you call me sick!*Smiley Face struggles to get out of the chain. Kerri and Rose then go for the truck. Kerri gets into the driver’s seat, and they drive off. Smiley Face gets free just as they do and swings at the truck with the chain, but it’s too far gone.*
TH: Dear GAWD, what a scene! JK: What’s gonna happen next with this?TH: What I wanna know is who’s behind the mask?JK: I think that smiley face is a big clue.TH: I’ll have to agree with you on that. Main event time so let’s go to the ring with Michael Muffer.MM: The following contest is a steel cage match. In this match, victory can be achieved by pinfall, submission, or escaping the cage, either through the door, or by climbing over the top, with both feet touching the arena floor.MM: Introducing first…from Atlanta, Georgia…at 6 feet, 3 inches…weighing 245 lbs...."Black Gold" Jordan Mac!*Jordan Mac walks to the ring with dimmed lights while a smoke machine shoots up, and he's assisted by his “Black Gold Crew” while his face is covered by a towel. He then takes off the towel with and grins a toothy smile and walks to the ring. He has on neon-purple trunks with the angel wings on the front and "Mac Attack" in big gold letters on the back-side and purple boots with white laces on them. He enters the ring as the crowd is booing him, but he ignores them.*
TH: Jessica Drakin has ordered this match following Lord of the Ring, where Jordan Mac stabbed Evil M in the back to advance to the finals of the tournament.JK: Yeah, but it was every man for himself, Gorilla! M should’ve known that. He’s probably just upset that he didn’t get the chance to backstab Jordan first.MM: And his opponent…at 6 feet 6 inches, weighing in at 287 lbs., from Rockland, Massachusetts, the 2014 Money in the Bank winner, EVIL M!!!!!*Evil M comes from the back with his Money In The Bank briefcase that he shows he has. He has on long black tights, with "Evil M" written in red down both legs, leather jacket worn during entrance, and sunglasses. He enters the ring, takes off the jacket and sunglasses, and hands them and the briefcase to the referee.*
JK: M has that Money in the Bank contract, Gorilla. Any time, he could cash that in and become the next FAWA World Heavyweight Champion!TH: Indeed he could, Jess. Remember, though, Jordan Mac has already challenged for the title, and just narrowly missed earning a second shot last week. If he were to beat M, he would have to be considered for another title shot should M win the title.*M and Mac stare each other down as the ringside referee locks the cage door.*
TH: They’re locked in, Jess. Who’s gonna win this one?!*The bell sounds as M and Mac tie up. M uses his weight advantage to back Mac up against the ropes, but Mac is able to switch positions with M. As Mac presses M back so that his head is leaning against the cage, M powers out and switches with him again. M pushes Mac back so that he’s right against the steel, but Mac kicks M in the stomach, then quickly gets away from the ropes.*
JK: Jordan Mac quickly realizing he can’t match power with Evil M. He’s gonna have to use his skill and quickness to pull this one out!*M shakes off the kick and turns around, but Mac was waiting for him and peppers him with jabs, then a stiff forearm. M is rocked by the blow, but when Mac tries to shoot him into the ropes, M reverses it. Mac off the ropes, M catches him with a throat thrust, sending him to the mat!*
TH: The mat is not where Mac wants to be against Evil M. Despite his size, M isn’t just a brawler, he can wrestle with the best of them!*As Mac scrambles to get back up, M grabs him, lifts him up, and slam’s him back down. He then hooks Mac’s right arm in a shoulder lock. With the arm trapped, M sits down and uses his legs to scissors Mac’s body, trapping him.*
JK: And this doesn’t look good for Jordan Mac! Evil M with a nice submission locked in right there!*Mac struggles to try and break the hold, using his free arm to drive his elbow into M’s leg. After several shots, M’s legs loosen, giving Mac the chance he needs to get to his knees, alleviating some of the pressure on his shoulder. M still has the hold locked in, but Mac drives his knee into M’s ribs. Mac escapes the hold, but falls back to the mat, clutching his shoulder.*
TH: Mac escapes, but the damage may be done.*M leans back in the ropes, knowing Mac is hurt. He takes a couple of deep breaths, then advances, but Mac catches him with a kick to the stomach! M steps back, caught off guard, but quickly continues his advance. Mac delivers a second kick, again knocking M back. M grins, knowing Mac is in a bad way. Mac goes for a third kick, but M catches it!*
JK: Mac’s in trouble now…*M pulls Mac up by the leg, but Mac catches M flush in the back of the head with an enzugiri!*
JK: Where’d that come from?!*Mac smiles as he gets up, not favoring his should nearly as much as he was moments ago…*
TH: Mac lulled M into a false sense of security, then struck when least expected it!*Mac rolls M over, cover!
1...
2...
Kickout!*
JK: Evil M kicks out! Mac’s ploy didn’t work!*Mac shrugs, but as M starts to get up, he quickly kick’s him in the head, knocking him back down. Mac then goes over to the cage and starts climbing.*
TH: M is down, this could be it. If he can’t get back up and stop Mac, this one will be over!*Mac climbs the cage, but stops near the top to pose for the crowd. But as he poses, the boos turn to scattered cheers, as M is pulling himself up! Mac looks down and sees M making his way up the cage! Mac tries to pull himself over quickly, but M catches up and grabs him by the leg, pulling him back in. With Mac gripping the top of the cage, and M perched under him, M wraps his arms around Mac’s body and brings him down with a back suplex off the ropes!*
JK: M keeps the match going!*M rolls onto Mac, covering him…*
TH: But maybe not for long…*1...
2...
Kickout!*
TH: And this match will continue!*M sits up, then pulls himself to his feet. He grabs Mac by the back of the neck and pulls him up. He shoots Mac into the ropes, but as the “Black and Gold” rebounds, he ducks under an M clothesline, then launches himself off the ropes with a flying forearm smash! M is knocked back into the ropes, and as he staggers forward, Mac hooks him and uses the momentum to belly-to-belly suplex him! Cover!
1...
2...
Kickout!*
JK: Both men finding it harder than they may have expected to put the other away!*Mac stands up and kicks M a few times. He then goes to climb the cage, but M grabs his leg! Jordan grabs the top rope to try and hold on, but M yanks him off, sending him face first to the mat. M picks Mac up, Chokeslam!*
TH: Chokeslam to Jordan Mac!*M walks over to the door, as the ringside referee unlocks it. M goes to walk out, but one of the Black and Gold Crew members slams the door in M’s face! M staggers back, Jordan’s up, he lifts M for the Star Struck, but M fights out of it! He knee’s Jordan in the back, then locks the arm!*
JK: Crowbar locked in!*M drags Jordan to the center of the ring, trapping him! The referee asks Jordan if he quits, at first he shakes his head no, but when M wrenches back on the arm, he furiously nods his head!*
TH: That’s it!Here is your winner, Evil M!*M raises his arms, but has little time to celebrate as The Black and Gold Crew swarm the ring! They surround M, who tries to defend himself, but he’s outnumbered five to one. The Crew pounces on M, with Mac directing traffic.*
TH: This is a damn mugging!JK: Jordan has that numbers advantage and M is feeling it now!*The crew beats M down, then Mac orders them to hold him up. Mac has gotten a hold of M’s Money in the Bank briefcase, but as he prepares to level him with it, Jonathan Michaels comes running down the aisle!*
TH: It’s Jono!JK: What’s he doing out here?!*Jono clips the leg of the Crew member closest to the cage door, then takes out the two holding up M. Mac charges, trying to nail Michaels with the briefcase, but Jono side step’s him, then shoves Mac out the door! The cage begins to rise as M and Jono clean house on the Crew members! Jono nails one with the Fade to Black, while M double Chokeslam’s two more. The other two members decide to bail out and help Mac up.*
TH: A sight I thought I’d never see, Evil M and Jonathan Michaels fighting side by side!*M and Jono stand back to back, watching until all the Black and Gold Crew members have left the area. The two turn around and M notices Jono for the first time. Jono backs up towards the ropes and steps to the apron. The two look at one another, before M nods. Jono returns the gesture, then drops down off the apron and exits as we fade out…*
Writers:* Seth Drakin Says Boo-Yah
* Marcel Hulkhamp
* sMurfy the Barbarian