Mozenrath
FANatic
Foppery and Whim
Speedy Speed Boy
Posts: 121,049
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Post by Mozenrath on Nov 7, 2014 3:30:52 GMT -5
Excellent news. It's about time he was someone else's problem, to be blunt, and if this works out for him, super.
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Glitch
King Koopa
Not Going To Die; Childs, we're goin' out to give Blair the test. If he tries to make it back here and we're not with him... burn him.
Watching you.
Posts: 12,716
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Post by Glitch on Nov 7, 2014 4:52:00 GMT -5
FAN, this calls for a celebration.
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Fiddleford H. McGucket
El Dandy
My Mind's been gone for 30-odd years! Can't Break what's already broken!
Posts: 8,748
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Post by Fiddleford H. McGucket on Nov 7, 2014 8:30:15 GMT -5
Take pleasure in little victories. Just try to keep the sanity as best you can and realize that, among a few other things....he's officially "Somebody else's problem". While that may seem harsh.....sometimes the distance and knowledge that something or someone is no longer simply, solely your responsibility is a massive weight of your shoulders and you can focus on more important things.
And always remember the Serenity Prayer:
"O God Grant me the serenity to accept what I cannot change, the courage to change what I cannot accept, and the wisdom to know the difference"
I know it's helped me in times of trouble, and others in times of dealing with me.
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Post by Zaq "That Guy" Buzzkill on Nov 7, 2014 10:37:45 GMT -5
FAN, this calls for a celebration.
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adamclark52
El Dandy
I'm one with the Force; the Force is with me
Posts: 8,139
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Post by adamclark52 on Nov 7, 2014 11:39:13 GMT -5
I hope you stick to your guns Dr. T, I really do.
And I just have to ask: what kind of places hire this kid with this spotty past? It has to be simple word of mouth recommendations because I can't imagine his resume.
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Post by Long A, Short A on Nov 7, 2014 12:03:47 GMT -5
Woww, it's good to hear good news and I hope things don't go off the rails. Take the deepest breath you can.
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Post by Clash, Never a Meter Maid on Nov 7, 2014 12:07:38 GMT -5
Great to hear, man. Wayward family members are always a pain to deal with, I would know.
It's good that you've tried to help him as much as possible, but you both clearly need a break from this guy.
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Dr. T is an alien
Patti Mayonnaise
Knows when to hold them, knows when to fold them
I've been found out!
Posts: 31,355
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Post by Dr. T is an alien on Nov 7, 2014 17:21:21 GMT -5
Great to hear, man. Wayward family members are always a pain to deal with, I would know. It's good that you've tried to help him as much as possible, but you both clearly need a break from this guy. You aren't wrong. We all needed a break.
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Post by Zaq "That Guy" Buzzkill on Nov 8, 2014 1:41:53 GMT -5
If you're having family problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but a stepson ain't one!
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Dr. T is an alien
Patti Mayonnaise
Knows when to hold them, knows when to fold them
I've been found out!
Posts: 31,355
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Post by Dr. T is an alien on Nov 26, 2014 1:08:40 GMT -5
Just thought I would give an update.
First, I have no firsthand communications with my stepson since he left. We are dead to him, according to his grandmother, which explains why he does not return calls or answer texts (on a phone that I am still paying for, though I don't know why anymore). All information I have is from conversations with his grandmother that took him in.
He still is working, but his grandmother got fired from the job under suspicious circumstances (she is already talking to a lawyer about age discrimination). She still drives him to and from work, but might not much longer as she is about to kick him out herself (and the local cops have already told her they will back her up when she does if he refuses to leave).
Why? He still spends all of his free time huffing shit, though with the job he has less of said free time. Apparently his inhalant of choice has been starter fluid spray (the type for cars), which is a change from what he was huffing right before he left us (keyboard duster). His grandmother has already found four empty cans of the stuff, and that is just what she has found in the less than 4 weeks he has lived with her. No telling how many empty cans she might find if she looks in the woods behind her house that he likes to wander out to.
His continuing huffing has, amazingly enough, made him even more unbearable. I am sure of this, despite not having any direct interactions with the kid (I never thought I would be glad that one of my kids refused to have anything to do with me), since she has in less than a month changed her tune about sticking it out to help him. She now is not willing to lose her boyfriend over the kid. If the boyfriend gets fed up and makes her choose, she will now choose the boyfriend. It might not even get to that point, however, as she has been the only one that has had to put up with him in the past week and had told me today that she might kick him out on her own without being asked to choose. She said that he has been the most unpleasant person lately, which only surprised me in the sense that he started out being nice.
I told her that if she does kick him out, he cannot come back to us. My wife and I have discussed this at length and she agrees with me on this. Don't worry for him, though. He has a new plan. He is planning on moving in with this 52 year old from work who has a reputation as a meth user, possible meth cooker, and uses sex with her boss as a means to not lose her job for her issues. He told his grandmother that he was going to move in with this woman, start screwing her, and live the high life with her. Nice to see that he finally has a grand plan for his future.
Sad thing is that both his grandmother and wife are beginning to come to the conclusion I already have reached: We will be burying him before too long. I've even already taken a few insurance policies to pay for a funeral and any final medical bills that he might incur. I hope that I never get to cash in those policies and would happily make them useless if he asked for help getting into a rehab facility, but that just isn't going to happen.
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Post by SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman on Nov 26, 2014 3:35:16 GMT -5
Well, at least things are progressing in some manner and it's good to know the cops have his grandmother's back should she require their help. But man, how can one person manage to be such a nuisance to every single person they come across? You'd think that at some point, if only by accident, they'd meet someone they're not an asshole to.
And yeah, I know, drugs f*** you up and they're a tough habit to kick, but this guy seems to be going on a conscious effort to make everyone around him miserable and makes it a point to make no effort to improve, exploit the people trying to help him so he can feed his self-destructive behaviour without giving one single shit if other people get destroyed in the process. I have never heard of a drug addict who was such a cancer to everyone else's lives.
At this point, I wonder if the state can't have him forcibly committed to a mental hospital or something. This guy is clearly a danger o himself and others and must be stopped. So it's either this and maybe something positive can come from this or as Dr.T said, he finally manages to kill himself and possibly other people.
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Dr. T is an alien
Patti Mayonnaise
Knows when to hold them, knows when to fold them
I've been found out!
Posts: 31,355
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Post by Dr. T is an alien on Nov 26, 2014 4:33:27 GMT -5
Well, at least things are progressing in some manner and it's good to know the cops have his grandmother's back should she require their help. But man, how can one person manage to be such a nuisance to every single person they come across? You'd think that at some point, if only by accident, they'd meet someone they're not an asshole to. And yeah, I know, drugs f*** you up and they're a tough habit to kick, but this guy seems to be going on a conscious effort to make everyone around him miserable and makes it a point to make no effort to improve, exploit the people trying to help him so he can feed his self-destructive behaviour without giving one single shit if other people get destroyed in the process. I have never heard of a drug addict who was such a cancer to everyone else's lives. At this point, I wonder if the state can't have him forcibly committed to a mental hospital or something. This guy is clearly a danger o himself and others and must be stopped. So it's either this and maybe something positive can come from this or as Dr.T said, he finally manages to kill himself and possibly other people. Well, I tried that already. He was forced to be in the hospital for 5 whole days and the fact that I did that is why I'm dead to him. The one that just flabbergasted me from yesterday was the fact that he told his grandma the day before yesterday he tried to shock his grandmother with his behavior and then informed her that he was disappointed that he had not been able to make her have a heart attack over what he was saying. I'm flabbergasted because she represents the last family member that is actually on speaking terms with him (other than his dad, but his dad is only interested in what he can get out of the kid and does not return his calls when the kid doesn't have any money). That means that if she kicks him out then he is on the streets, for good this time. Thing is, I believe he meant it since he did not give two shits when I thought that I actually did have a heart attack after he picked another fight after the police refused to make him leave when I called the cops on him for trespassing after I kicked him out the night before (it was some sort of panic attack, but it hurt like hell and completely wiped me out). He said something to me at the time suggesting that he was happy about it and that I deserved it. Thing is, I am pretty sure that he wants to justify his hate of all of us. If we all turn him away, then he gets to be justified in hating the only people that tried to actually help him when he got in a bad way. Actually, that is not entirely true. His dad sort of tried to help him last year, but in the most effed up way I could imagine. In order to keep him off of meth he basically supplied the kid with enough alcohol during his spare time that he did not have the motor skills required to make his way to the toilet, let alone go procure any drugs. Of course, since he is also a horrible human being he combined that with getting the kid a job where he worked and took his entire paycheck every payday, which is why he ran away from his dad's even though his dad was keeping him lit up. Thing is, he has told me in the past and told his grandmother multiple times recently that he wished he was dead. I think he is trying to kill himself with this shit without technically committing suicide. He has stated several times in the past that the only person who ever loved him was his great grandfather (his grandmother's dad) and that he just wanted to die and spend time with Grandpa in Heaven, which according to the Bible he cannot go to if he commits suicide. Therefore, he has a deathwish and seems bound and determined to cause as much pain and misery as possible while he goes about killing himself "accidentally". It says something about how we handle mental health issues in this country that such things can be said and all we can do is force him to spend a few days in the psych ward, with no legal recourse to make him get the help he needs.
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Futureraven: Beelzebruv
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
The Ultimate Arbiter of Right And Wrong
Spent half my life here, God help me
Posts: 15,035
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Post by Futureraven: Beelzebruv on Nov 26, 2014 6:14:32 GMT -5
Are you prepared for when he tries to come back?
I mean if family are done with him, and he does end up with that meth head, how long will they put up with his crap till they kick him out without and kind of bond like that?
I'd be less than surprised if that happens and he ends up back on your doorstep.
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adamclark52
El Dandy
I'm one with the Force; the Force is with me
Posts: 8,139
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Post by adamclark52 on Nov 26, 2014 12:56:32 GMT -5
Ok after reading your last few posts Dr. T., f*** the kid.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Nov 26, 2014 16:34:51 GMT -5
Yeah, at this point, you should prepare for the inevitable. It's a crying shame, but you have done all you can.
Funny enough, I think I mentioned about this a while back.
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Post by Zaq "That Guy" Buzzkill on Nov 26, 2014 19:41:08 GMT -5
What amazes me most is that he even got a job in the first place. I'm a University graduate with decent references and work history, but haven't been able to find a job in the four months I've been applying, yet a fume-huffing deadbeat gets employed instantly? The hell?
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Dr. T is an alien
Patti Mayonnaise
Knows when to hold them, knows when to fold them
I've been found out!
Posts: 31,355
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Post by Dr. T is an alien on Nov 26, 2014 22:49:20 GMT -5
What amazes me most is that he even got a job in the first place. I'm a University graduate with decent references and work history, but haven't been able to find a job in the four months I've been applying, yet a fume-huffing deadbeat gets employed instantly? The hell? Odds are you are applying to places that can afford to be picky because they are employers that require candidates be actual grown-ups because that is what you qualify for. If I were to leave either of my jobs I would have the same damned problem.
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Dr. T is an alien
Patti Mayonnaise
Knows when to hold them, knows when to fold them
I've been found out!
Posts: 31,355
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Post by Dr. T is an alien on Nov 28, 2014 23:10:04 GMT -5
Are you prepared for when he tries to come back? I mean if family are done with him, and he does end up with that meth head, how long will they put up with his crap till they kick him out without and kind of bond like that? I'd be less than surprised if that happens and he ends up back on your doorstep. Well, I got the opportunity to see if my wife truly would stand beside me in turning him away today. My wife and I went out of town to get something to eat and do a little Black Friday shopping. I was checking my wife's phone for her (she was driving) because she was in the middle of a texting conversation with her friends at work when she got a text from the boy. It asked if she would give him a ride to Bloomington (the town we live in, an hour away from his grandma's place). Since we were almost 140 miles away from him she opted to not respond at the time. Apparently, while he could ignored our calls and texts for nearly a month my wife doing the same for 5 minutes had him calling her (she did not answer). A minute later I got a call on my phone from his grandmother saying that her boyfriend was giving him a ride to town and that he told her that he was moving out and that she would never see him alive again, telling her to keep an eye on the obits. I relayed the info to my wife who then texted back to him that under no circumstances would we allow him back in our house. I then called the grandmother back to have her call her boyfriend and tell him not to let him off anywhere near our house (he dropped him off at Wal-Mart long before we got back to town. We checked up on the house, after which time I decided to go get an even newer set of locks for the doors as I did not trust him to have not made copies of his brother's keys after we changed them the last time. So far he has been in town at least 8 hours and we have not seen or heard from him after my wife told him he was no longer welcome at our house. Here's what I know for sure: - He's currently in town - He has at least $1000 from his last two paychecks on hand - He basically told his grandmother he was leaving and expecting to die - He no called/no showed for work today, so that great job that his grandmother helped his get is probably gone - He was told by his mother that he cannot come to our place - He said some pretty cryptic things to his grandmother that makes me worry about what he might do if he showed up at our door - He was dropped off at a store that sells firearms in a state with no mandatory waiting period to purchase said firearms God, at this point if he is just going to kill himself with this shit I damned near just want him to get it over with. I can't take this uncertainty of knowing when he is going to show up, what he is going to do if he did, whether he shows up to rob us or do harm, or if he just came to town to do $1000 worth of drugs in order to die in style. This shit is too effing much.
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Dr. T is an alien
Patti Mayonnaise
Knows when to hold them, knows when to fold them
I've been found out!
Posts: 31,355
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Post by Dr. T is an alien on Nov 28, 2014 23:59:58 GMT -5
I'm surprised at this point you can't have him forcibly committed, and I don't mean for just five days. Problem is, he's your responsibility for the rest of his life. You'd think it would be possible, wouldn't you? Welcome to the f***ing Bible Belt, where legislators are more likely to simply criminalize homelessness than recognize that it often is a result of legitimate mental issues and address it as such. Instead, mentally ill people are to blame for all of their own problems and getting real help for them is not possible unless you have a lot of money. The rules are different for you if you have a lot of money.
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Post by Display Name on Nov 29, 2014 0:01:15 GMT -5
Yeah,with what he's said today and knowing he's around your home,maybe you should let law enforcement know?
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