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Post by "Gentleman" AJ Powell on Dec 23, 2014 21:09:45 GMT -5
..as you can possibly be, I want you to listen to me. I want you to digest this because before I leave in three weeks with your FAN Championship, I have a lot of things I want to get off my chest. I don't hate you, @supersweetbotch. I don't even dislike you. I do like you; I like you a hell lot more than I like most people in the back. I hate this idea that you're the best...because you're not. I'm the best. I'm the best in the world. There's one thing that you're better at than I am, and that's kissing Mister Pigwell's ass. You're as good at kissing Cornfed's ass as @fsinfan was. I don't know if you're as good as Brood Lone Wolf Funker though—he's a pretty good ass-kisser, always was and still is. [Turns to camera and waves] Whoops, I'm breaking the fourth wall! I am the best poster in the world. I've been the best ever since day one when I walked into this forum, and I've been vilified and hated since that day because Hawk Hart saw something in me that nobody else wanted to admit. That's right, I'm a Hawk Jefferson guy. You know who else was a Hawk Jefferson guy? The Man They Call Asher, and he split just like I'm splitting, but the biggest difference between me and Asher is I'm going to leave with the FAN Championship. I've grabbed so many of Cornfed's imaginary brass rings that it's finally dawned on me that they're just that—they're completely imaginary. The only thing that's real is me, and the fact that day in and day out, for almost six years, I've proved to everybody in the world that I'm the best on this keyboard, in that ring, even at writing for the site! Nobody can touch me! And yet no matter how many times I prove it, I'm not on your lovely little banner ads, I'm not on the front page of the site, I'm barely promoted, I don't get to be in Youtube videos, I'm certainly not on any crappy podcast on the iTunes, I'm not on the poster of FANamania, I'm not on the logo at the top of the forum! I'm not on Wrestling with Text, I'm not on the Ruthless Aggression podcast, but the fact of the matter is I should be; and trust me, this isn't sour grapes, but the fact that Heartbreaker is in the main event of FANamania next year and I'm not makes me sick! Oh, hey, let me get something straight. Those of you who are cheering me right now, you are just the biggest part of me making this post as anything else, because you're the ones that are clicking on those banner ads right now; you're the ones that vist the site my face isn't on the front page of of, and then at 5:00 in the morning at the airport, you try and shove it in my face so you can get an autograph and try to sell it on eBay because you're too lazy to go get a real job! I'm leaving with the FAN Championship on July 17, and hell, who knows? Maybe I'll go defend it in on Wrestlecrap. Maybe I'll go back to r/squaredcircle. (Waves to camera) Hey, Magic knows Black Lives Matter, how you doing? The reason I'm posting this is you people because after I'm gone, you're still gonna pour posts into this forum. I'm just a spoke on the wheel, the wheel's gonna keep turning and I understand that. But Cornfed's gonna make posts despite himself. He's a twenty-three thousand-aire who should be a millionaire. You know why he's not a millionaire? It's 'cause he surrounds himself with glad-handing, nonsensical douchebag yes-men like Kash Flagg who's gonna tell him everything that he wants to hear. And I'd like to think that maybe this forum will be better after Cornfed's dead, but the fact is it's gonna get taken over by @irontyger and his A Platypus Rave and the rest of his stupid family! Let me tell you a personal story about Cornfed. All right. We're doing this whole anti-trolling campaign... *post gets cut off*
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Post by Magic knows Black Lives Matter on Dec 23, 2014 21:11:31 GMT -5
OP is softer than Drake.
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Heartbreaker
King Koopa
Is actually Bindi Irwin
RIP Punk's media scrum, Page 54, Muffins, Biting People Bad™ (2022 - 2022)
Posts: 11,846
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Post by Heartbreaker on Dec 23, 2014 21:15:09 GMT -5
**** you, man. I earned my spot at FANamania.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 23, 2014 21:16:33 GMT -5
*Starts wrestling with a giant fan to symbolize being held down by the Man, a la Brian Pillman and the giant pencil*.
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Brood Lone Wolf Funker
Ozymandius
Got fined anyway. Possibly a Moose
James Franco is the white Donald Glover
Posts: 61,855
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Post by Brood Lone Wolf Funker on Dec 23, 2014 21:17:56 GMT -5
You are just jealous I have grabbed more brass rings. Guess that is what happens when your arms are just too short to box with God
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Jeff Mangum PI
Hank Scorpio
11 herbs and spices for the rest of eternity; Is Number Two. Number Two!
The 2nd Coming
Posts: 6,957
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Post by Jeff Mangum PI on Dec 23, 2014 21:23:36 GMT -5
So am I the Alberto Del Rio of all this?
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 23, 2014 21:24:06 GMT -5
Face it Jack! You've been here for six years and I have accomplished more things here in my first six months then you did in six years! Lets see you started out as a Caddie for a possible Mexican White Supremacist, A Male Cheerleader shipped out of town in a crate, Mr. I'll shake everyone's hand obnoxiously, a male gigolo to the fat lady in power, a ten minute title reign, briefly a roided up Waffel113 look a like for a day, to getting some momentum. You maybe talented Jack but their is a reason why I'm the franchise you're not and you're about to covered in the same thing that's been spewing out of your mouth! *feces falls onto "Gentleman" AJ Powell* Looks like you're finally covered in the same stuff you've been preaching *drops mics*
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 23, 2014 21:24:18 GMT -5
WAS?
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Post by "Gentleman" AJ Powell on Dec 23, 2014 21:34:40 GMT -5
Yeah, but you're S-A-W-F-T, SAAAAAAWFT! **** you, man. I earned my spot at FANamania. Pssh, everyone knows you slept your way to the top! That's right, I know about the whole "Complete these three sleep studies to get a free Fanamania main event!" thing you tried to hide from the rest of us! I didn't wanna say anything man, but your ass kissing game has really stunk the past few months. Step it up champ! You are just jealous I have grabbed more brass rings. Guess that is what happens when your arms are just too short to box with God I'm not gonna have you sit here and belittle me. Say I've not grabbed brass rings? I didn't grab brass rings, Death_Watch? The reason I say I'm gonna take that and walk out is because I don't fit a certain mold. Because I am the underdog, and that's exactly what you've lost sight of. Earlier in this ring, you mentioned great posters like Waffel113 and you said they used to look at you and say that the kid couldn't hang. And now you stand here and look at me as the kid that can't hang. Death_Watch, I was hanging off of your clown car, FANamania 22, as it rolled down in Chester, England, and I stood there in a suit looking as ridiculous as [points to Cornfed] that man looks right now in his suit, holding a water gun, and I said to myself someday, I'm not gonna be standing out there watching you in the ring; I was gonna be in the ring watching you go down to AJ Powell. And now here we are in your hometown of Parts Unknown. And now next week, we'll be back there in my hometown, Chester, England. And this...this is the part where I talk 'em into the building. See, you are the one that's lost sight, and I apologize for raising my voice because I'm not that guy. But when you stand here and tell me that I've lost sight, when you, the 10-time Champion who stands for Concessions, Death and Machines; who, from Parts Unknown, Massachusetts, lives and breathes these colors, the same colors as your beloved Sports team, who also portray themselves as the underdog, I'm sure just like Manchester City portray themselves as the underdog. Just like the Arsenal think they're the underdog! Hey, how about those Chelsea? Are they the underdogs too? Here's what you've lost sight of, Death_Watch, and I'm really happy that your father and your girlfriend are sitting in the front row so they can hear it! What you've lost sight of is what you are, and what you are is what you hate. You're the 10-time FAN Champion! You're the man! You, like the Manchester City, like Parts Unknown, are no longer the underdog! You're a dynasty. You are what you hate. You have become the Manchester United! *points at Cornfed You're Ferguson, and you might as well be Giggs! Mr. 3000, I'm the underdog! Turn it off! Turn the music off because I have something to say, and I'm positive that everybody here wants to hear it, and everybody sitting at home has their DVRs fired up because they wanna hear it! I'm glad you just quoted me, Death_Watch. I'm glad it went down this way because it hit me like a bolt of lightning—exactly why I no longer wanna be here, why I wanna leave. It's because I'm tired of this. I'm tired of you. I'm just tired. So ladies and gentlemen of the FAN Universe, Cornfed, Death_Watch, Sunday night, say goodbye to the FAN Title, say goodbye to Death_Watch, and say goodbye to AJ Powell! [Rips up the contract] I'll go be the best in the world somewhere else!
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Brood Lone Wolf Funker
Ozymandius
Got fined anyway. Possibly a Moose
James Franco is the white Donald Glover
Posts: 61,855
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Post by Brood Lone Wolf Funker on Dec 23, 2014 21:41:14 GMT -5
You think you are the King of England, when in reality you are nothing but the Duchess of Cambridge. I have accomplished more and done more than you ever will. If you wish to fight me remember one thing and one thing only I don't walk alone
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Post by "Gentleman" AJ Powell on Dec 23, 2014 21:50:27 GMT -5
You think you are the King of England, when in reality you are nothing but the Duchess of Cambridge. I have accomplished more and done more than you ever will. If you wish to fight me remember one thing and one thing only I don't walk alone Are you Aretha Franklin? You want me to tell these people I respect you when I know clearly that you don't respect me 'cause I don't wear a bourgeois suit and I don't tow the forum line? You wanna talk about respect? Respect, Death_Watch, is earned, it isn't just given. And you're gonna come out here and say that when you're in charge, this place...this place is just oh so run like a tight ship. Have seen the forum? We've got threads collapsing, you got cageking666 interfering in every other match of mine; this place isn't any better with you in charge. How's that for respect?
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Post by Mr PONYMANIA Mr Jenzie on Dec 23, 2014 21:53:00 GMT -5
lot of words for a FIGHTING MAN!!!
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Post by Main Eventer on Dec 23, 2014 22:11:26 GMT -5
Your not on FANamania not because you are being held down, you aren't on FANamania because you are a millennial who has no drive and no ambition to reach for the brass ring.
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Post by Digital Witness on Dec 23, 2014 23:35:26 GMT -5
That OP promo was 4/10. Not enough brothers, dudes, or jacks.
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Post by Clash, Never a Meter Maid on Dec 24, 2014 7:20:36 GMT -5
Y'know, listening tonight to FAN, I realize that Off-Topic is a very honest section, In fact, some of the mods have called it "Bizzaro World". Quite franky, you folks are honest, you tell us what you want whether we want to hear it or not. So tonight, I'm gonna take a lesson from Off-Topic and hit you in the face with a dose of truth- whether you want to hear it or not. For 300 days, you've been the FAN Forums champion, @fsinfan- but for 300 days, that championship has been irrelevant. Month after month you've watched main event after main event pass you by, going instead to truly hard working guys like Brood Lone Wolf Funker, Magic knows Black Lives Matter and Mozenrath. And your excuse is that there's some sort of weird political conspiracy against you...but the fact is that there is no "you". You see, you've been here for many, many years, and ironically the night you made the most noise was the night that your keyboard turned silent. Oh, I remember those days and your passionate talk about "change". And then in one triumphant night in the MLP threads, when you were the victor and the universe finally said "we've got change!"...and then they were lied to. They were fooled into a false claim, because it turned out change wasn't ice cream bars for well behaved posters, it wasn't edgy topics, it wasn't even new forum talent. All you meant by change was "make @fsinfan a star". You don't even know who @fsinfan is. I remember in those rants, you once said that I've become what I despised, in reference to success. No- I went from a normal poster to an odds-on favorite Gentle Lover, but I did it as ME. Through all of this, the Impact threads, the speculation over DC's upcoming movies, Bo Dallas not getting pushed to the moon for some incomprehensible reason, I've had to stand on my own two feet and do it as me. Then there's you. You've changed your ideology numerous times, borrowed traits from Hall of Fame posters like "Gentleman" AJ Powell and Lancers. All because you have yet to find "you". Now I'm not saying you're not tough, I'm not saying you're not accomplished....but your latest phase of development revolves around your FAN world title. You think a simple piece of metal automatically justifies you respect? No, the reason you have that and have kept it is by any means necessary, and that does NOT define a FAN champion in my eyes. So soon you're gonna have to search for a new identity. You've been really loud these last few weeks, because you're in serious jeopardy of losing THIS. *points to belt*
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Professor Chaos
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Bringer of Destruction and Maker of Doom
Posts: 16,332
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Post by Professor Chaos on Dec 24, 2014 7:28:18 GMT -5
The fact that I wasn't mentioned in this post MAKES ME SICK. This isn't Professor Chaos talking to "Kingslayer", this is Butters Stotch talking to AJ Powell.
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Post by "Gentleman" AJ Powell on Dec 24, 2014 7:36:36 GMT -5
Y'know, listening tonight to FAN, I realize that Off-Topic is a very honest section, In fact, some of the mods have called it "Bizzaro World". Quite franky, you folks are honest, you tell us what you want whether we want to hear it or not. So tonight, I'm gonna take a lesson from Off-Topic and hit you in the face with a dose of truth- whether you want to hear it or not. For 300 days, you've been the FAN Forums champion, @fsinfan- but for 300 days, that championship has been irrelevant. Month after month you've watched main event after main event pass you by, going instead to truly hard working guys like Brood Lone Wolf Funker, Magic knows Black Lives Matter and Mozenrath. And your excuse is that there's some sort of weird political conspiracy against you...but the fact is that there is no "you". You see, you've been here for many, many years, and ironically the night you made the most noise was the night that your keyboard turned silent. Oh, I remember those days and your passionate talk about "change". And then in one triumphant night in the MLP threads, when you were the victor and the universe finally said "we've got change!"...and then they were lied to. They were fooled into a false claim, because it turned out change wasn't ice cream bars for well behaved posters, it wasn't edgy topics, it wasn't even new forum talent. All you meant by change was "make @fsinfan a star". You don't even know who @fsinfan is. I remember in those rants, you once said that I've become what I despised, in reference to success. No- I went from a normal poster to an odds-on favorite Gentle Lover, but I did it as ME. Through all of this, the Impact threads, the speculation over DC's upcoming movies, Bo Dallas not getting pushed to the moon for some incomprehensible reason, I've had to stand on my own two feet and do it as me. Then there's you. You've changed your ideology numerous times, borrowed traits from Hall of Fame posters like "Gentleman" AJ Powell and Lancers. All because you have yet to find "you". Now I'm not saying you're not tough, I'm not saying you're not accomplished....but your latest phase of development revolves around your FAN world title. You think a simple piece of metal automatically justifies you respect? No, the reason you have that and have kept it is by any means necessary, and that does NOT define a FAN champion in my eyes. So soon you're gonna have to search for a new identity. You've been really loud these last few weeks, because you're in serious jeopardy of losing THIS. *points to belt* Wow, everybody, it's Clash, Never a Meter Maid. He comes on here every Monday night, he's excitable, he throws his hat at somebody, everybody loves it. I am so impressed at how you do that. You get all these people to believe you're that friendly, smiling, everyday man, when I know the truth. And the truth, Radio Clash, is you're thoughtless, you're heartless, and above all else, you are dishonest. I'm sure there's millions of people worldwide, including yourself, that would love to believe this is over a spilled diet soda, but Clash, this goes way beyond my spilled diet soda. Yeah. Clash, you were retired as a mod. You were gone. You gave a very tear-inducing speech in the middle of the ring about how you finally get to see your mom and hang out with your little brother, and you said you were gonna go away. You were gonna be a man of your way, but what happened? You came back later that night, and then you came back the next week, and then you came back the next week, showing all of these people who aren't intelligent to see through your facade what I have known all along—that your word is absolutely worthless. And then there's FLC, you have the man beaten. JTG Fan, a very tough individual, and you have him beat in a chairs match, but that's not good enough for you. You don't take the high ground, you can't walk off into the sunset with your victory; you drag the man off to the side of the stage and you drop fifteen steel chairs on him, and I wanna know exactly why you think that's acceptable behavior. I wanna know why you think it's okay to show up the next night on the forum and humiliate the poor guy? You wanna talk about ended careers, you hypocrite? This is exactly what I'm talking about. You ended the career of my good friend @notoriousnd22. Clash! Clash, look at me when I'm talking to you. This is a reoccurring pattern with you. Once again, you have the man beaten—last man standing, he verbally submits, how humiliating, the match is won. But, no, you AA him off a car through the very steel ramp that I'm sitting on, which facilitated the end of his career. Now we'll talk about Lila. I'm surprised the lovely Askher! doesn't up and quit based on all the abuse you heap on her. It's not just the physical things to the JTG Fans and the Notoriouses, but it's the name-calling, it's the mental abuse to somebody as gorgeous and beautiful as Askher! I don't know if you noticed, but you're not funny.
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Post by DSR on Dec 24, 2014 9:13:37 GMT -5
*sticks the winner*
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Lancers
El Dandy
Oh you
Posts: 7,951
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Post by Lancers on Dec 24, 2014 9:24:08 GMT -5
I got tagged for this?
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ICBM
King Koopa
Didn't know we did status updates here now
Posts: 12,288
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Post by ICBM on Dec 24, 2014 9:36:04 GMT -5
Love the wrestlecrap line
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