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Post by Non Banjoble Tokens on Mar 9, 2015 19:29:58 GMT -5
So its Monday and that means its time for another Monday Nitro.
Tony Schiavone is there with Scott Hudson welcoming us all to Nitro and tells us that the Kardashians are in the audience tonight.
Scott Steiner's music plays and he comes out along with Rhaka Khan and ODB who is wearing a Lucha mask for some reason.
Steiner takes the mic and cuts a promo on Sid Vicious and Vader. He makes fun of them and calls them the number 10. He tells the crowd to shut the hell up or he'll break their ankles so they'll have to drag their fat asses to the Diary Queen with their elbows. Then he goes out to the crowd at ringside and finds the Kardashians. He says Kim is the only person with a fatter ass than Vader. Says Kourtney us a bigger whore than Tony Schiavone is for Surge. Then says Khloe might just have a bigger penis than he does. Rhaka Khan and ODB act like they're going to fight the Kardashians but security breaks them up.
Now for some reason he pulls a pogo stick out from under the ring and bounces while the crowd boos loudly. Now Steiner takes the pogo stick and chucks it into the aisle. Stiener walks up to Schiavone and Hudson and starts yelling at them while security tries to maintain some order. Schiavone irritated says thats enough of this nonsense and they cut to commercial...
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Post by Chip Chipperson on Mar 9, 2015 19:37:05 GMT -5
That young whipper snapper Lash Leroux surely is on the brink of a WCW Cruiserweight Title run, no?
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Mar 9, 2015 20:01:34 GMT -5
Back from commercial break where fans await the long-awaited return of Lex Luger. Luger rolls out in a wheelchair with DDP, who claims that he's about to put Luger on DDP Yoga. Scott Steiner walks out with a mic and screams about how he has no "sympy" for Luger and knocks Luger out of the chair. As the crowd boos and Steiner starts beating Luger with the pogo stick, DDP removes his DDP mask to reveal...
VINCE RUSSO!!!!!! SWERVE!!!
Russo hits Steiner in the back with a bat!!! Then Luger jumps up out of the broken fragments of his wheelchair and removes his Luger mask to reveal...
VINCE RUSSO!!! SWERVE!!!
Both Russos circle each other until finally Steiner stands up and removes his Scott Steiner mask to reveal...
VINCE RUSSO!!! SWERVE OMG SWERVE!!!
Eric Bischoff's music hits and Easy-E comes out and does a shoot on the Vince Russos... but then from the back, it's JEFF JARRETT WITH A GUITAR!!! SMASHES IT OVER BISCHOFF's HEAD! Then Jarrett removes his Jarrett mask to reveal....
VINCE RUSSO!!!! OMG SWERVE!!!
Then, Bischoff starts to get up as the four Russo's get ready to pounce on him... when Eric removes his mask to reveal...
OMG VINCE RUSSO!!!!!!!! SWERVE!!!
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Post by Non Banjoble Tokens on Mar 9, 2015 20:03:44 GMT -5
So the first match is Kwee Wee vs. Crowbar in a crowbar inside a briefcase inside a wooden crate on a pole match. I guess that's the official name.
Kwee Wee walks out to some Frank Sinatra knock-off music wearing a suit and tie. He's doing a "serious gay" gimmick so he provides the briefcase. He is accompanies by some one but I'm not sure who as they are dressed in a suit and tie but they have a gimp mask on.
Next out comes Crowbar with Daffney. He provides the crowbar.
The ref puts the crowbar in the briefcase, in the wooden crate, up on the pole. The match starts, but before anything happens, Ernest The Cat Miller's music plays and he comes out dressed all in his bling-blow doing a Kanye West gimmick saying the WCW is holding him back and that he deserves to be in the first match and while he's talking, Wilcat Willie climbed to the top of the pole and grabbed the crowbar in the briefcase in the crate. Daffney starts fighting with the gimp in the suit and crowbar and Kwee Wee chase after Wildcat.
Schiavone talks for bit on commentary and drects us to the new and improved Nitro Girls. Two or three standard girls, and one of them is transgender, you can see the bulge in her booty shorts, and one of them is furry, she has cat ears and a tail. One is wearing a neon green body stocking that covers her whole body. I like the new Nitro Girls!
Schiavone shills some matches for later in the night and we go to commercial again...
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Post by Non Banjoble Tokens on Mar 9, 2015 20:41:05 GMT -5
Next is Disco Inferno's Dance Party. He's in the ring with a disco ball hanging and he's dancing like an ass.
Takes the mic and talks about the "Dancing with the Stars incident" which I guess is WCW's way of ripping off the Daily Show thing for the WWE.
He calls out Tom Bergeron and says he could'nt dance his ass out of a paper bag.
Bergeron comes out and Disco gets in his face and challenges him to a dance off. Disco starts dancing, then Bergeron kicks Disco in the balls, barely hesitating. Tom walks away quickly, over to Tony Schiavone, who gives him a bag full of money, then Bergeron walks out of the area.
As Disco lays on the ground holding his junk, the music starts and Three Count comes out. They sing their latest single, they look weird as Shane Helms is wearing his Hurricane mask and Shannon Moore has his hair in a spiked mohawk, Evan Karagias is replaced by Kaz Hayashi for some reason.
After the song, they pick up Disco Inferno, and immediately beat the shit out of him and throw him out of the ring.
Next, Schiavone shills 1-800-COLLECT(that is still around?) and we go to commercial again...
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Post by Non Banjoble Tokens on Mar 9, 2015 21:20:59 GMT -5
Okay our next match is a tag team match. The Nasty Boys vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan and Tank Abbot for some reason. It's a hardcore match.
Hacksaw brings his 2x4, Tank Abbot has his collection of Three Count CDs. The Nastys have all sorts of stuff. Saggs wheels out a toilet on a dolley filled with things like a toilet brush, a plunger, a mop, a Shamwow, a Schticky, a Sticky Buddy, a Slap-Chop, a Genie Bra, a can of Flex Seal, and a Pillow Pet. Knobbs wheels out a food cart and appears to be sampling the items. Not sure if this is for the fight or not.
The "match" begins and they just hit each other with lots of different shit and go all over the building, including the women's bathroom where Johnny Swinger was sitting in one of the stalls for some reason, eventually they end up outside the arena across the street at a Laundromat.
While they fight, Meng and the Barbarian emerge out of a laundry bin full of clothes and beat the hell out of both teams, then they beat the hell out of each other, then Meng finds a group of random people on the streets and beats the hell out of them. Not sure if this is part of the show or not.
A "technical Difficulties Screen" Appears on TV with pic of a drunk Vince Russo in his underwear with lamp shade on his head and we go to commercial..
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Post by Non Banjoble Tokens on Mar 9, 2015 21:48:22 GMT -5
Well, we're back and its another match. Johnny The Bull vs. Buff Bagwell in a "Rodeo Match?" I don't even..
Buff comes out in some weird stripper version of the Lone Ranger costume. Something similar to what he wore as the handsome stranger I guess. He lassos a fat girl at ringside and gives her an embarrassing looking sexy dance.
Next out is Johnny the Bull. He's wearing some weird hybrid costume between an actual bull and his Rellik costume. Ugh wtf?
Anyway, the ref is dressed like a rodeo clown, and there are barrels set up around the ring. Johnny the Bull does this weird Bull act and keeps trying to gore Bagwell but Bagwell runs around and they chase each other like a Three Stooges short. At one point, Bagwell gets on Johnny as he is on his hands and knees and rides him while like a pony. Okaaayy...
This match ends up with tons of interference. How often are they going to do these kinds endings?
First Psychosis jumps out of a barrel, then Juventud jumps out, next its La Parka causing a bucch of clown referees to come out from a tiny clown car(I'm serious here) and they try to stop the mayhem.
Buff is in the ring celebrating, then Johnny the Bull gores him and he celebrates. Then a clown ref comes in the ring and spears Johnny. His wig comes off and it's Goldberg!!!!
He spears Buff and then all the refs and wrestlers jump into the ring and just as you would have guessed, Clownberg spears all of them too.
He invites the Kardashians into the ring to celebrate and just as you would have guessed, he spears them all as well.
Cut to Schivone who now prompts a commercial for violence against women and back to standard commercials...
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Post by Non Banjoble Tokens on Mar 9, 2015 22:17:43 GMT -5
Guess its main event time already.
It was supposed to the Steiners vs. Sid and Vader but Rick Steiner is not there and backstagey people are saying he walked out on a contract dispute. I'm sure that was just WCW mimicking the whole Lesnar situation from RAW a couple weeks ago.
Sid and Vader are in the ring and Scott comes out without Rhaka and ODB. He gets on the mic and introduces his replacement tag partner...
It's General Hugh G. Rection!! Wow he moved on from his NXT job really fast. Hugh comes out in full MIA gear and a box of jelly donuts that he starts throwing into the audience. Wow talk about bad taste.
Match starts and it's typical big guy stuff. Shoulder blocks, flexing, posing, some slugging it out. Sid and Steiner beat each other a bit, then Vader gets into it with Steiner and Steiner tags General Rection and the bigger guys slap each other around a bit.
There is some cheating by the heels and at one point it looks like Rection is going to go for the no laughing matter, but he can't seem to get to the top rope, so he just does an elbow off the very bottom rope. He must have hurt himself cause he laid there for a while then rolled over to the corner and tried to catch his breath while Steiner fought both Sid and Vader.
Finally Steiner says f*** it and pulls out a steel pipe and attacks Vader and Sid, ref calls for the bell and Steiner hits the ref with the pipe. Rection finally gets up and he looks more gassed than a 7-11 but he manages to help Steiner beat up Sid and Vader. The bell rings over and over all of a sudden a figure drops from the ceiling..
ITS STING!! Its, well okay no I guess its not. It's...Glacier? But he has a new look. A dark blue trench coat with hair dyed blue and blue and silver paint on his face. Kind of like a blue version of the Crow. He has a hockey stick wrapped in blue tape and he and Steiner(with the pipe) square off but before anything happens, Schiavone yells We gotta GO!!! And the show is over. Robin Hood is on now for some reason.
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Post by Jumpin' Jesse Walsh on Mar 9, 2015 22:35:34 GMT -5
Next week: Joe Gomez and Jerry Flynn square off in a torch song karaoke contest for the WCW Television Title.
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Post by madness50 on Mar 10, 2015 0:51:12 GMT -5
So its Monday and that means its time for another Monday Nitro. Tony Schiavone is there with Scott Hudson welcoming us all to Nitro and tells us that the Kardashians are in the audience tonight. Scott Steiner's music plays and he comes out along with Rhaka Khan and ODB who is wearing a Lucha mask for some reason. Steiner takes the mic and cuts a promo on Sid Vicious and Vader. He makes fun of them and calls them the number 10. He tells the crowd to shut the hell up or he'll break their ankles so they'll have to drag their fat asses to the Diary Queen with their elbows. Then he goes out to the crowd at ringside and finds the Kardashians. He says Kim is the only person with a fatter ass than Vader. Says Kourtney us a bigger whore than Tony Schiavone is for Surge. Then says Khloe might just have a bigger penis than he does. Rhaka Khan and ODB act like they're going to fight the Kardashians but security breaks them up. Now for some reason he pulls a pogo stick out from under the ring and bounces while the crowd boos loudly. Now Steiner takes the pogo stick and chucks it into the aisle. Stiener walks up to Schiavone and Hudson and starts yelling at them while security tries to maintain some order. Schiavone irritated says thats enough of this nonsense and they cut to commercial... I don't know if it was intentional or an error, but the diary queen line made me laugh so hard picturing Scott Steiner saying it. |
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Glitch
King Koopa
Not Going To Die; Childs, we're goin' out to give Blair the test. If he tries to make it back here and we're not with him... burn him.
Watching you.
Posts: 12,717 
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Post by Glitch on Mar 10, 2015 3:02:15 GMT -5
When is Air Styles gonna emerge from Air Paris' shadow?
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hassanchop
Grimlock
Who are you to doubt Belldandy?
Posts: 14,794
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Post by hassanchop on Mar 10, 2015 4:16:40 GMT -5
Bob Sapp has become such a sensation to Japan that he has made numerous appearances in commercials, J-dramas, kaiju films and sentai series, and now he plugs the newest anime series that premieres on Toonami. Mark Jindrak became such a hit in Mexico and tonight he is getting his own lucha mask to be presented to him by Rey Mysterio and Super Crazy in a ceremony.
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