Post by Deleted on Jan 11, 2016 16:59:33 GMT -5
Lots and lots of spoilersssssssssssss
So, I know - super late to the party, but I never got around to watching this movie....until yesterday when my GF's sister let us borrower her copy.
What the heck happened? Ridley Scott hasn't been my favorite director in the past decade or so, but I didn't think he was this out of it.
From the get-go the "Engineers" look ridiculous. Like those aliens from Exo Squad ridiculous. But whatever, bad character design/execution aside - okay they created humanity as an experiment and then created something else to destroy it. Which .... it seems like the dumbest way to destroy humanity in creating something even MORE violent and wreckless so the cleanup of the cleanup is going to be a pain, but whatever.
So many characters whose death meant nothing and were glossed over completely. Everyone was a dick for no reason - I mean, what the heck was Skinny Sheamus' problem?
More than a few of the characters could have been merged into one to make things flow better.
Rapace's husband gets infected and immolated but who cares because now she's preggers with alien/human hybrid thing? coughsAlienResurrectioncoughs
Then she cuts the thing out of her and basically tells no one, leaves it in containment after "sterilizing" it and runs out so she can ask why the Engineers have forsaken humanity?
To top it off, the only engineer she meets immediately tried to kill every human in site, so what does she think is going to happen when she gets to a whole PLANET full of them?
Also, the husband goes from enthusiastic team member to sarcastic, bitter sloppy drunk in like two seconds.
Charlize Theron's character was utterly pointless (as was her father - oooh what a twist! lulzz....) and could have been merged with Rapace's character pretty easily. Theron's character barks a few orders, looks angsty at her father and then dies. oof. The husband could have been merged with one of the geologists who were trapped in the cave pretty easily too. Or both, heck - they didn't two dudes to just randomly die and no one give a f***.
Then there's her father who tricked everyone into think he's dead only to hide away on his own ship so he can ask the Engineers to extend his life? Gimme a frickin break man. He owns the company and the ship! He could have just been like, "Hey. I'm rolling with you jerks, wake me when you run into the roided up Na'vi."
Then there's the most LAUGHABLY bad spaceship crash I've ever seen. Idris (who was actually pretty bad ass in this movie) crashes the ship into the alien ship to stop it from destroying humanity (even though there's a whole PLANET of Engineers out there who will probably just go "Oh shit, Danny's ship went down on its way to Earth, let's send 38 more ships to get the job done," but whatever). The Engineer's ship lands and starts to roll Raider's of the Lost Ark style towards Rapace & Theron (who is still pointlessly alive) and instead of running to the left or right - they keep running straight ahead! Which, okay movie, let's pretend that's not an option, except for the fact that Rapace trips, rolls to the right a few times and she's in the clear.
Meanwhile Theron gets squished like something out of a Looney Toons cartoon.
Damn man. I could go on and on about this travesty and the worst part is - it made a metric f*** ton of money! And its getting a sequel! wow.
I've honestly never seen a movie waste so much time NOT explaining what's going on too.
Oh - and that ending. What a piece of work. I mean, you wanna talk about something shoving itself up its own ass? Frickin Engineers create squid eye thing to destroy humans. Its gets mixed with human DNA, comes out a starfish thing (wtf) and then infects an Engineer and comes out a Xenomorph!?! Even though human and engineer DNA are identical!??! f***. YOU. MOVIE>
I'll say this though - the whole movie looked gorgeous and Fassbender as the droid was f***ing tight.
So, I know - super late to the party, but I never got around to watching this movie....until yesterday when my GF's sister let us borrower her copy.
What the heck happened? Ridley Scott hasn't been my favorite director in the past decade or so, but I didn't think he was this out of it.
From the get-go the "Engineers" look ridiculous. Like those aliens from Exo Squad ridiculous. But whatever, bad character design/execution aside - okay they created humanity as an experiment and then created something else to destroy it. Which .... it seems like the dumbest way to destroy humanity in creating something even MORE violent and wreckless so the cleanup of the cleanup is going to be a pain, but whatever.
So many characters whose death meant nothing and were glossed over completely. Everyone was a dick for no reason - I mean, what the heck was Skinny Sheamus' problem?
More than a few of the characters could have been merged into one to make things flow better.
Rapace's husband gets infected and immolated but who cares because now she's preggers with alien/human hybrid thing? coughsAlienResurrectioncoughs
Then she cuts the thing out of her and basically tells no one, leaves it in containment after "sterilizing" it and runs out so she can ask why the Engineers have forsaken humanity?
To top it off, the only engineer she meets immediately tried to kill every human in site, so what does she think is going to happen when she gets to a whole PLANET full of them?
Also, the husband goes from enthusiastic team member to sarcastic, bitter sloppy drunk in like two seconds.
Charlize Theron's character was utterly pointless (as was her father - oooh what a twist! lulzz....) and could have been merged with Rapace's character pretty easily. Theron's character barks a few orders, looks angsty at her father and then dies. oof. The husband could have been merged with one of the geologists who were trapped in the cave pretty easily too. Or both, heck - they didn't two dudes to just randomly die and no one give a f***.
Then there's her father who tricked everyone into think he's dead only to hide away on his own ship so he can ask the Engineers to extend his life? Gimme a frickin break man. He owns the company and the ship! He could have just been like, "Hey. I'm rolling with you jerks, wake me when you run into the roided up Na'vi."
Then there's the most LAUGHABLY bad spaceship crash I've ever seen. Idris (who was actually pretty bad ass in this movie) crashes the ship into the alien ship to stop it from destroying humanity (even though there's a whole PLANET of Engineers out there who will probably just go "Oh shit, Danny's ship went down on its way to Earth, let's send 38 more ships to get the job done," but whatever). The Engineer's ship lands and starts to roll Raider's of the Lost Ark style towards Rapace & Theron (who is still pointlessly alive) and instead of running to the left or right - they keep running straight ahead! Which, okay movie, let's pretend that's not an option, except for the fact that Rapace trips, rolls to the right a few times and she's in the clear.
Meanwhile Theron gets squished like something out of a Looney Toons cartoon.
Damn man. I could go on and on about this travesty and the worst part is - it made a metric f*** ton of money! And its getting a sequel! wow.
I've honestly never seen a movie waste so much time NOT explaining what's going on too.
Oh - and that ending. What a piece of work. I mean, you wanna talk about something shoving itself up its own ass? Frickin Engineers create squid eye thing to destroy humans. Its gets mixed with human DNA, comes out a starfish thing (wtf) and then infects an Engineer and comes out a Xenomorph!?! Even though human and engineer DNA are identical!??! f***. YOU. MOVIE>
I'll say this though - the whole movie looked gorgeous and Fassbender as the droid was f***ing tight.