Let's Miller-ize famous comic stories

[WoodStoner1]

Yes, it had to come up after the talk about Frank Miller and Superman: Year One.

So...ball's in your court!

[Big DSR Energy]

Garfield psychologically tortures Odie into becoming his sidekick in-between long-winded hard-boiled internal monologues about how he loves lasagna like it's his woman. Also Jon Arbuckle prostitutes himself in order to pay the bills.

[The Unconquered Sun]

Doomsday is a Muslim who kills Superman and desecrates Superman's corpse ( ya know, 'cause he's Muslim). Soon afterwards Lois Lane sell Superman's story to support her drug habit. Ma Kent turns tricks dressed as Super Girl for some reason. And then Superman is resurrected by ninjas.
Meh, still better than Superman Lives.

[darbus alan]

Norman Osborne kills Gwen Stacy, who is a whore, by strapping her into an airplane and crashing it into the World Trade Center. Spider-Man avenges her by kidnapping and torturing Harry. Norman tries to find his son by distributing his photo on milk cartons.

Harry wonders why his best friend has kidnapped and tortured him to which Peter responds "I'm the Goddamn Spider-Man." Peter then drowns his sorrows in booze with Mary Jane, who is an exotic dancer.

[Bub (BLM)]

Jul 24, 2017 17:05:59 GMT -5 Big DSR Energy said:

Garfield psychologically torches Odie into becoming his sidekick in-between long-winded hard-boiled internal monologues about how he loves lasagna like it's his woman. Also Jon Arbuckle prostitutes himself in order to pay the bills.

"Odie the dog. Age 1."

[darbus alan]

Oh and Aunt May is now 25 years old who married Uncle Ben for his money. And she has an affair with Peter behind Ben's back. Ben learns about the affair and kills himself by driving off the Triborough Bridge in the dead of night.

[Deleted]

I might be crazy but I want to see Miller do a Sonic/MLP/Steven Universe comic just to see the reaction from their fandom.

[BayleyTiffyCodyCenaJudyHopps]

Yellow Diamond takes over the earth and our world becomes a gem- infested apocalyptic wasteland. Pearl is a cynical prostitute with a good heart deep down. Garnet is a battle scarred rebel leader with robot prosthetics. Amethyst is a mindless killing machine and her and Greg live underground with the refugees. Steven Universe has lots of guns, a cool noir coat, and stubble despite being 12.

[Deleted]

Ash: She smells like tangelas ought to smell, the perfect Pokemon... Goldeen. She says her name is Goldeen.

[Fundertaker]

Aside from objectifying women and making the Kushans Muslims, and removing every fairytail like aspect, I don't see how many more changes Miller would do to Berserk.

Besides making it looking like crap and making shitty dialog.

[Mozenrath]

Jul 24, 2017 18:51:09 GMT -5 darbus alan said:

Norman Osborne kills Gwen Stacy, who is a whore, by strapping her into an airplane and crashing it into the World Trade Center. Spider-Man avenges her by kidnapping and torturing Harry. Norman tries to find his son by distributing his photo on milk cartons.

Harry wonders why his best friend has kidnapped and tortured him to which Peter responds "I'm the Goddamn Spider-Man." Peter then drowns his sorrows in booze with Mary Jane, who is an exotic dancer.

This would suck, but it'd still be better writing than Sins Past.

[wildojinx]

Jul 24, 2017 20:29:28 GMT -5 @shadowcage said:

I might be crazy but I want to see Miller do a Sonic/MLP/Steven Universe comic just to see the reaction from their fandom.

Now I have this image of Miller rewriting The Dark Knight Returns with MLP characters.

Miller's GI Joe: Every character is a ninja. They keep their ethnicity though, meaning we get Australian, Scottish, British, Irish, German, and Russian ninjas.

[Goldenbane]

So that idiot moron Iron Man starts working for "the man." He's doing all their government dirty work and just being a total loser and idiotic moron. Meanwhile, a new dirty hooker slut, Amanda Hill, who's constantly high on meth, gets promoted to leader of S.H.E.I.L.D all thanks to that damned no good president! Gah, I hate the man and government so much! Now where was I? Oh yeah, she's being a whore and on drugs and she's all like "we gotta make super heroes register so they can all be like Iron Man and work for the government!" Of course that jackass sell out, Iron Man is all for it, so he becomes the government's little lap dog and rounds up all the super heroes and forces them to work for the man...or be jailed in another dimension. All the heroes, except one...CAPTAIN AMERICA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So Captain America just got done with his latest adventure where he bangs Sharon Carter and gives her lots of cocaine to snort and he finally has his last be fight with the Red Skull, I mean, this is the big one! The last one! Red skull converted to Islam, and had gone around just raping and killing everybody and calling them Jews, but Captain America chased him down and ripped off his jaw by throwing his mighty shield at him! His balls are so much bigger than Iron Man's let me tell you! Anyway, Skull eventually like...kills himself, but it might be a fever dream Cap was having because he got hurt in the fight real bad, and Cap might have killed him himself. It's not really clear. So the damn government is all pissed off that Captain America killed the Red Skull because he killed and stuff and you just aren't supposed to do that, so they send Viper after Captain America to assassinate and kill him. Captain America beats her within an inch of her life in the mud and calls her a whore! She's so turned on by this, that they just have sex right then and there! Of course that just pisses off the government even more, so the man sends Iron Man to go beat up Captain America and bring his ass in! Well, Cap finds out, so he just storms the white house and beats the unholy hell out of the stupid president of the United States, just because, then he just leaves, because Cap is so bad ass, and he has a threesome with Viper and Sharon Carter. This whole time, Ben Urich is writing stuff for the Daily Bugle and gets his own show and all this other stuff and bitches about what Iron Man and the dumb government are doing. Finally that idiot Iron Man uses his tiny penis and hunts down Captain America, but the entire super hero community stands in his way, but Cap's like..."No, I'm goddamn Captain America." so the two of them get into a big fight. Captain America just beats Iron Man's ass. He disables his armor, breaks his nose, breaks his jaw, kicks him in his itty bitty junk, and just dominates him. As Iron Man is laying there beaten, Cap gives the most godly speech ever in comics!!!!!!! "I want you to remember, I beat you. I want you to stay out of my way. You know now, how it feels, don't you? What the rest of us go through every day, but I didn't have to go easy on you. I wanted you to know a man without billions of dollars BEAT you!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Then Cap gets shot by Crossbones and seems to die, but that's all just a trick. Dummy Iron Man feels all horrible about it, and he's so stupid and worthless he doesn't even use all his armor's capabilities to scan Cap thoroughly to make sure he's actually dead. What an dumb ass! My balls are so much huger and more gigantic than idiot Iron Mans! I mean Captain America's. Anyway, Captain America gets better and continues being the most awesome and bestest hero ever because he's Captain America and the government and the man can't do shit about it! Oh, and he has more sex with Sharon Carter who scores lots of drugs and he become her part time pimp when she takes up good ol' prostitution. The end.

Civil War as written by Frank Miller.