Last word freak

[Kevin Hamilton]

I am totally one, and silly to boot, and thought I would share too moments that made me smirk at my own wittiness in the last 48 hours..

Some of ya'll know that when I was tossed the wayside by the radio station in some personnel cutbacks about a year ago, I've been working as a retail guy slinging tires around while I continue to search for that elusive male model by day, knight of justice by dark kinda gig, which is bogus and sad, but yesterday I got a bit of a chuckle when a lady came in and ordered an oil change and tire rotation.. we were pretty busy so I informed her, no problem but it might be roughly two hours to get all the services completed. She asked:

"well, isn't there some kinda rule, ladies first? You know bump all the women to the front?"

To which my reply was

" Well ma'am, there might be, except here we totally believe in equality."

She didn't find it nearly as funny as I, and the people behind her did. However she did call me honey when checkin out ( I get that at least three or four times a week, don't ask me why) so al was forgiven I spose.

Then this evening, I went across the street to the phillips 66 cuz I was out of Pepsi, while there I also picked up some Lays potato chips, the new spicy hot variety. While ringing my stuff up, the cashier looks at the bag and reads the phrase " Flamin' hot". Her words:

"Huh, flamin' hot huh?"

I couldn't resist

"Well, not so much today, but I do clean up all right." complete with over the top


Anyhoo, thought I would regale ya of those two lil goofy anecdotes that made me smile, and provide you hellions with one more thread to hijack, and turn into whatever fad will become the next craze here in Arkham. So go nuts.

[Big BosskMan]

Last time I was at the blood bank and sitting through the interminable questionnaire/interview I have given answers to for the past 5 years, when the nurse asked me: "Over the last month, have you exchanged money or drugs for sex?" I replied:

Does dinner and a movie count?

Which garnered a chuckle.

[jzbadblood]

Slim always makes me smile. That's all I got to say about this.

[The Happnin' Mojo]

To warm up for Karate I was doing push ups when a guy comes stumbling in and goes "So you doing push ups?". Automatically I said "No there's a meteor coming and I'm trying to push the Earth out of the way"........he seemed a little insulted.

[nisi]

As an underpaid journalist, I work the famous Claire Booth quote in any chance I get--some fellow grad student says, "I wish I could make a little money writing the way you do," and I come back with, "If you wrote the way I do that's just what you'd make."

But sorry to hear about the cutbacks Slim.

[samachine]

The flaming hot made me laugh a bit. Made me think of Clerks.

[El Pollo Guerrera]

It was February or March this year, and it was freaking cold. I get a phone call at 2 AM. It's the alarm at the store (I work in a print shop). I get up, get dressed and drive to the store. My boss is already there, checking the store out. Nothing out of place (he put the alarm system in himself, it's always a little buggy when the weather gets cold, and he keeps fixing it himself because he's a techno-nut). He tells me I didn't have to come down, everything is always all right, etc. So I tell him it all right now "but one time there could be somebody here with a gun to your head." He turns and starts to walk away and I say:

"I wouldn't want to miss that."




I'm still working there, so I don't think he heard me.

[Psy]

pushkilla15 said:

Last time I was at the blood bank and sitting through the interminable questionnaire/interview I have given answers to for the past 5 years, when the nurse asked me: "Over the last month, have you exchanged money or drugs for sex?" I replied:

Does dinner and a movie count?

Which garnered a chuckle.

My reply to the same question was, "Well, the gf had a headache so I bought her aspirin. Does that count?"