Post by Gus Richlen Was Wrong on Apr 2, 2018 23:26:46 GMT -5
(NOTE: I'm doing this in text format [WARNING: WALL OF SPOILERS] because trying to do it in video format is a bit of difficulty to pull off for me.)
It's that time of year again, that time where pro wrestling's leading company puts on their biggest show of the year. This year, the Showcase Of The Immortals is absolutely stacked, with the potential to be the best WrestleMania in years. How will WWE successfully or unsuccessfully pull it off this year?
ANDRE THE GIANT MEMORIAL BATTLE ROYAL
WOMEN'S BATTLE ROYAL
CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
SD TAG TITLES, TLC
RAW TAG TITLES
RAW WOMEN'S TITLE
SMACKDOWN WOMEN'S TITLE
INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE
UNITED STATES TITLE
[spoilers]There's no reason to care about this match. It's a match between someone people are caring less about [ROODE], someone people stopped caring about years ago [ORTON], someone nobody ever cared about [MAHAL], and someone that people love but has no chance of winning [RUSEV]. Anyone hopeful after Rusev's addition will have their hopes rudely crushed when he eats an RKO so Orton can leave with another title that he shouldn't win. If you thought last year was bad, wait until he defeats someone people like.[/spoiler]
ROUSEY AND ANGLE VS. THE AUTHORITY
BRYAN AND McMAHON VS. ZAYN AND OWENS
CENA VS. UNDERTAKER?
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
UNIVERSAL CHAMPIONSHIP
EPIC JINXINGS
Some of the matches are set in stone as far as winners, but others are wide open. For the Andre, I think MATT HARDY adds the Trophy of Andre to the Brokenverse, making it the most relevant it's ever been. The Women's battle royal goes to CARMELLA to keep her relevant ahead of being moved to RAW. The Cruiserweight Championship is a toss-up, but there's too much value in MUSTAFA ALI to not pull the trigger on him. The tag titles change hands in both cases, with THE BLUDGEON BROTHERS winning for SD and BRAUN STROWMAN for RAW, with BOBBY LASHLEY for his mystery partner. Call it a hunch. Thanks to the contract stipulation, ZAYN AND OWENS will spoil Bryan's return, although Shane will be the one pinned. Both Women's titles will change as well, with NIA JAX winning RAW's while ASUKA remains undefeated and dethrones Charlotte. ANGLE AND ROUSEY are a lock to beat The Authority, while THE UNDERTAKER will give Cena his just desserts if that match does in fact happen. The Intercontinental title could go either way, but FINN BALOR desperately needs it more so he likely wins. RANDY ORTON will leave as United States Champion to the joy of no one. SHINSUKE NAKAMURA will win an all-time classic to become World Heavyweight Champion, and while ROMAN REIGNS ending the night as Universal Champion is assured, I do think he gets help when the Usos attack Paul Heyman.
It may not be the ultimate thrill ride, but it's the party that will never end, at least not for several hours. Welcome to WrestleMania, everybody!
It's that time of year again, that time where pro wrestling's leading company puts on their biggest show of the year. This year, the Showcase Of The Immortals is absolutely stacked, with the potential to be the best WrestleMania in years. How will WWE successfully or unsuccessfully pull it off this year?
ANDRE THE GIANT MEMORIAL BATTLE ROYAL
{Spoiler}There's not much to care about here. It's mostly an excuse to throw in everyone they can that isn't doing anything. What's more intriguing is trying to figure out who comes in second. After all, the last runner-up went on to become a world champion later in the year. So what if it was Jinder Mahal, it still counts. If only WWE could make this match really worth something.....
WOMEN'S BATTLE ROYAL
{Spoiler}What was supposed to be another historic moment for WWE's women got tarnished badly early on when the WWE chose to make it a memorial for Fabulous Moolah. The list of awful things she did may not be known to everyone on the planet but enough do, to the point where they had to get f***ing Snickers to force WWE to change it. Money talked and WWE listened, and now we have a nameless trophy. That has a rather unfortunate design. Even when WWE tries to make things better, they somehow find a way to f*** it up. As for the match itself, it's almost a clone of the Andre, only there at least is a storyline involved. The friendship between Sasha Banks and Bayley has imploded. One of them is supposed to be the heel, but it's hard to tell which one. It likely is Sasha, but WWE can't seem to make up their minds so who knows. Too bad almost everyone else in the match is pretty much taking a backseat.
CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
{Spoiler}The division that gets no respect ends up in the exact same place it was last year: on the preshow. Not helping is the fact that they're still trying to recover from the multi-layered disaster that was Enzo Amore. Fortunately, a light is at the end of the tunnel, and no, it's not a freight train headed its way. It's the tournament finals, where two of the best on 205 live will collide to see who finally gives the belt a loving home. Both Cedric Alexander and Mustafa Ali are amazing guys, but Ali could be a surprise megastar for WWE, and the cruiserweights desperately need that. Can we just have these two call it a draw and have co-champs? I really hate the idea of either man losing.
SD TAG TITLES, TLC
{Spoiler}In what is a candidate for potential show-stealer, the three best teams on Smackdown will face off in a match synonymous with WrestleMania: Tables, Ladders, and Chairs. Not only that, the Usos finally get on the main card! [NOISEMAKERS AND CONFETTI] Too bad the feud with the New Day has been done to death to the point where having the Bludgeon Brothers win is the best option for everyone involved. The former Wyatt Family members need this win to revitalize a stale division. As for the other teams, the best options would be to send the Usos to RAW to maybe reform the Bloodline with Roman Reigns and to send the New Day into Splitsville. It's for the best for the New Day, really, because while they may still be entertaining, the expiration date is up. Time to see what they can do on their own now. And time to see if Vince McMahon finally gets to give Big E that megapush he wanted to give him a few years ago. What's the worst that an happen, right? Right?
RAW TAG TITLES
{Spoiler}Braun Strowman has become one of the most popular things going in WWE, more of because what WWE has done than in spite of. While not being in a world title match may be infuriating to some, the possibility of taking tag silver is still a step up from being randomly thrown in the Andre like he was last year. Only problem is who he gets for a partner. Does he get a surprise return or a newcomer? Either way, the result will be disappointment. What's also disappointing is the fact that it could be the WrestleMania swansong for Sheamus, someone who hasn't always been the most liked among the fanbase but who has always tried to be at the top of his game. Sheamus was Roman Reigns before Roman was on the main roster, a chosen favorite of the regime who became the victim of bad decisions along the way. The squash of Daniel Bryan was something he never fully recovered from, and it seemed like WWE couldn't get anything positive for him afterwards no matter what they tried. The big Irishman, to his credit, never let it get to him and kept pushing along the best he could to try to win over the crowd, even when, as a heel, he wasn't supposed to. If this is the last WrestleMania for Sheamus, it'll have been a memorable run. Best of luck to ya, fella. Now watch as WWE finds a way to make this disappointing all around. How long is Jason Jordan supposed to be out for? Because he would be the most likely pick to be the mystery partner. Oh joy.
RAW WOMEN'S TITLE
{Spoiler}This is not going to be pretty. Alexa Bliss has held her title for a few months too long and has become almost unbeatable because reasons. Sure, she's perhaps the best in the entire division on the mic, but her ring skills leave something to be desired. And now she's going up against one of the worst overall competitors on the roster in Nia Jax. She may be improving but she's woefully unready for this spot. And while the feud has done a good job of making her sympathetic it's going to be difficult to buy her as a good face. What she really needs is to squash Alexa and walk away unscathed. This being a match with Alexa, it's going to be far more competitive than it needs to be. It's make or break for Nia, but don't get your hopes up.
SMACKDOWN WOMEN'S TITLE
{Spoiler}So, the idea is that Asuka wants to fight the best and the best is Charlotte. Fair enough but that puts WWE in all sorts of tough spots. Asuka winning is a foregone conclusion and the possibility of a match with Ronda Rousey next year is too tantalizing for WWE to pass up so there's zero chance Carmella cashes in on Asuka. Which leaves everyone in the division screwed. Because it means Asuka running everyone over is assured. There's little to no drama in that, even if the end result ends up being good. [GRANTED, I SAY THIS AND I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO REIGNS VS. LESNAR. GRAIN OF SALT TIME.] If this ends up leading to Rousey winning next year, prepare the fallout shelters.
INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE
{Spoiler}A few weeks ago, none of these three men had anything good going for them. Balor was likely going to be stuck in the Andre, Rollins was likely going to be turned heel to job out to Jason Jordan, and Miz was going to do... things. Fortunately, all three have gotten something better. The fact that we have three of the best workers in the company aiming for one of the most prestigious belts should be enough to make any fan happy. It's too close to call, and all three are worthy of the championship. Buckle up. This is going to be great. [BY THE WAY, HOW THE HELL DID WRESTLING OBSERVER'S READERS THINK MIZ IS ONE OF THE MOST OVERRATED?!]
UNITED STATES TITLE
[spoilers]There's no reason to care about this match. It's a match between someone people are caring less about [ROODE], someone people stopped caring about years ago [ORTON], someone nobody ever cared about [MAHAL], and someone that people love but has no chance of winning [RUSEV]. Anyone hopeful after Rusev's addition will have their hopes rudely crushed when he eats an RKO so Orton can leave with another title that he shouldn't win. If you thought last year was bad, wait until he defeats someone people like.[/spoiler]
ROUSEY AND ANGLE VS. THE AUTHORITY
{Spoiler}Oh, this is going to be a trainwreck. Rousey has little to no real pro wrestling ability, which means when she's in the match, Stephanie McMahon will have to be the ring general. STEPHANIE McMAHON. I feel sorry for Kurt Angle, and to a lesser degree, the Authority. They're carrying this match knowing that Ronda is getting the spotlight at the end. Beats being in a match involving Jason Jordan, but not by much.
BRYAN AND McMAHON VS. ZAYN AND OWENS
{Spoiler}So many people thought it would never happen. I insisted it would. I ended up being right. Daniel Bryan is back. And WWE is wisely taking it easy by keeping him in a tag match where if he has to lose, at least he won't eat the pin. That's if it's a tag match, that is. Shane McMahon now has the same ailment that cut Brock Lesnar's MMA career short, so who knows how much he can do come Sunday. Unfortunately, WWE painted itself into a corner by having the possibility of Owens and Zayn being rehired as a stipulation. Which means Bryan is likely on the losing end, which means the crowd will have zero ability to care about anything afterwards. Don't worry, this time next year he'll be leaving as world champion. That'll make this easier to swallow.
CENA VS. UNDERTAKER?
{Spoiler}So, is this match happening or not? Everything points to it not, which means it might, which means nobody cares. Undertaker hopefully is staying retired after the match with Roman Reigns last year showed just how far gone the Deadman is. Of course, because it's Cena, he'll come back anyway. And the dream match that everyone except me wanted years ago will turn into a disappointment. They have to do something, though. Cena's burial machine can't go used in vain, damn it!
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
{Spoiler}A dream rematch two years in the making has almost no build behind it other than Nakamura wanting to prove he's better than AJ Styles. It's an old-school build and should be plenty adequate, but in this era where storylines have to be overly complex and where worked shoots are overused to the point of being pathetic, it's not enough for most people. And it's a shame because this is likely going to be the best match of the night. Anything less than 4.5 stars will be blasphemy. Now imagine this match with Daniel Bryan added to it next year. There won't be anything left of Metlife Stadium if that happens.
UNIVERSAL CHAMPIONSHIP
{Spoiler}The rematch from three years ago is finally here. Some have dreaded it, some have been waiting eagerly for it, and now it's time for WWE to deliver. For Roman Reigns, it's the match where WWE finally steps away from the panic button and cuts him loose. Whether this means he turns heel that night or the night after remains to be seen, but while some say it's unlikely, the signs are pointing to that destination coming soon. Why? Three words: Jason Jordan megapush. WWE clearly sees Jordan as Reigns' successor, and they've already shown that if they have to choose who to have as their face, it's Jordan. [THE MATCH WHERE WWE HAD REIGNS WORK AS THE HEEL WHEN DEFENDING THE IC TITLE AGAINST JORDAN IS MY PROOF. IT'S ALSO PROOF THAT HEEL!REIGNS WOULD BE OVER AS F***.] Don't get me wrong, a Reigns heel turn is long overdue, but to fill the top face void with someone even less liked by fans? Blecchhhhhh. Reigns already is Public Enemy #1 with the fans through almost no fault of his own and Jordan, whether one thinks highly of him or not, doesn't deserve that fate. As far as the immediate future goes, the best case scenario would be Reigns and Lesnar either having a repeat of their WM31 outing or having a repeat of Brock's match with Goldberg last year, with Roman doing the squashing. After that, reform the Bloodline, turn them heel, and either set up a WM showdown with Dean Ambrose or Daniel Bryan. Yes, this means he likely headlines again next year but in the grand scheme of things, having him headline as a heel and having his title run end there would work out well for all involved. No more playing around, WWE. It's time for Roman to finally prove whether he can hold his own for a sustained run. Sink or swim.
EPIC JINXINGS
Some of the matches are set in stone as far as winners, but others are wide open. For the Andre, I think MATT HARDY adds the Trophy of Andre to the Brokenverse, making it the most relevant it's ever been. The Women's battle royal goes to CARMELLA to keep her relevant ahead of being moved to RAW. The Cruiserweight Championship is a toss-up, but there's too much value in MUSTAFA ALI to not pull the trigger on him. The tag titles change hands in both cases, with THE BLUDGEON BROTHERS winning for SD and BRAUN STROWMAN for RAW, with BOBBY LASHLEY for his mystery partner. Call it a hunch. Thanks to the contract stipulation, ZAYN AND OWENS will spoil Bryan's return, although Shane will be the one pinned. Both Women's titles will change as well, with NIA JAX winning RAW's while ASUKA remains undefeated and dethrones Charlotte. ANGLE AND ROUSEY are a lock to beat The Authority, while THE UNDERTAKER will give Cena his just desserts if that match does in fact happen. The Intercontinental title could go either way, but FINN BALOR desperately needs it more so he likely wins. RANDY ORTON will leave as United States Champion to the joy of no one. SHINSUKE NAKAMURA will win an all-time classic to become World Heavyweight Champion, and while ROMAN REIGNS ending the night as Universal Champion is assured, I do think he gets help when the Usos attack Paul Heyman.
It may not be the ultimate thrill ride, but it's the party that will never end, at least not for several hours. Welcome to WrestleMania, everybody!
