Avengers meets Spaceballs quotes thread

[Sephiroth]

Yes, I’m crazy. But so are all of you.

Thanos: “How many @$$holes we got on this ship anyhow?”
Children of Thanos: “HELLO!”

[Goldenbane]

Rocket Raccoon: Ugh! Alright...wait a minute Groot, put it down....what the hell is in this thing? What's this?? I said take only what you need to survive.

Thor: It's my industrial strength Thanos killing Axe/Hammer...AND I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT IT!

Rocket: Alright, thunder god, that's it. The fairy tale is over. WELCOME TO REAL LIFE! You want this Axe/hammer? YOU carry it!

Groot: I am Groot...

Thor: You pick that up!

Rocket: YOU pick that up.

[Rumble McSkirmish]

Obvious one.

Thanos: Evil will always triumph because good is dumb.

[SHAKEMASTER TV9 is Don Knotts]

Thanos: Why didn't somebody tell me my ass was so big?

[bibboid]

Tony Stark: What is this?

Scarlet Witch: It’s my industrial strength hair dryer...AND I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT IT!!!!

[Hit Girl]

Avengers the Flamethrower!

[RI Richmark]

Gamora kills Thanos only to find out it was an illusion created by the reality stone:

Thanos: FOOOOOOOOOOOLED YOOOOOOOOOOU!!!

[Nikki Heyman]

Thanos: "We'll take care of that in Infinity War II: The Search for More Money."

[Sephiroth]

Child of Thanos: Oh no, Doctor Strange, its much worse than that. If you don’t give me the infinity stone I will be forced to give you back-YOUR OLD NOSE!!!

[Deleted]

Kevin Feige: Merchandising! Merchandising! Where the real money from the movie is made. Look....... Infinity War: the Apparel Line, Infinity War: the Adult Coloring Books, Infinity War: the Lunchables, Infinity War: the Gluten-Free Breakfast Cereal, Infinity War: the Sex Toys! Infinity War: the FLAMETHROWER!!

[Goldenbane]

Thanos: Iron Man! So, we meet again for the first time for the last time! ... Yeah.

Iron Man: Before you die, there is something you should know about us, Thanos.

Thanos: What?

Iron Man: I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.

Thanos: What's that make us?

Iron Man: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Which is what you are about to become!!!!!!!


Scarlet Witch: What are those things coming out of her nose??

Vision: Children of Thanos!!!

Scarlet Witch: Oh shit, there goes the universe.


Proxima Midnight: SIR! I have an idea! Corvus Glaive, punch up on Netflix Avengers 3: Infinity War part 1!!

Corvus: Yes Ma'am.

Thanos: Proxima...may I speak with you please?

Proxima: Yes sir.

Thanos: How can there be a Netflix stream of Avengers 3: Infinity War Part 1? We're still in the middle of making it!

Proxima: That's true, sir. But there's been a new break through in home theater marketing. Instant downloadable movies! They're out before the movie is finished.

Thanos: Naaahhhhhhhh!

Corvus Glaive: Here it is ma'am, Avengers 3: Infinity War Part 1!

[Sephiroth]

*Gamora feels Thor’s arm* ‘

WOOPWOOPWOOP!

Gamora: What the hell was that?

Quill: It’s the virgin alarm. Its set to go off before you do.

[Sephiroth]

BLACK PANTER: The combination to lower the barrier and enter Wakands is....1....2...3...4...5

THANOS: That’s amazing, I have the same combination on my luggage!

[H-Virus]

Thanos: The Stone! I can't believe you fell for the oldest trick in the book! What a goof! What's with you, man? Come on! You know what, here let me give it back to you-OH look at that! You fell for that, too!

[Zaq "That Guy" Buzzkill]

Thanos: I CAN'T MAKE DECISIONS! I'M A TITAN!"

[Deleted]

[The Avengers view Hulk (2003) while fast-forwarding through a compilation of all Marvel movies.]

Hulk: No, no, no. Go past this. Hulk say pass this part. In fact, never play this for Hulk again.

[Push R Truth]

Thanos: Half of all life in the universe will self-destruct in 20 seconds. This is your last chance to push the cancellation button.
Tony: "Cancellation button"?! Hurry!
Rocket: Where is it?! Where is it?!
Thor: It's gotta be here!
[They see an "Out of Order" tag on the cancellation button on the side of the gauntlet]
Rocket: "Out of order"?! F***! Even in the future, nothing works!
Thanos: Half of all life will self-destruct in exactly 10 seconds. Counting down. 10, 9, 8, 6--
Thor: 6?! What happened to 7?!
Thanos: Just kidding. *snaps his fingers*

[Sephiroth]

Ebony Maw: We lost the Hulk! We also lost the bleeps, the sweeps, and the creeps!

Thanos: That’s not all you lost.

*Loki after finding out time travel is the next plot*
“Oh no....not again!”

[RI Richmark]

Thanos: Find the Infinity Stones my children! Comb the Planet if you have to!

[The Black Order are going over Central Park with giant combs]

Corvus Glaive: Maw?

Ebony Maw: What?

Glaive: Are we being too literal?

Maw: No, you fool, we're following orders. We were told to comb the planet, so we're combing it. Found anything yet?!

Glave: Nothing yet!

Maw: How about you Proxima?!

Proxima Midnight: Not a thing!

[camera pans to Cull Obsidian using an Afro Pick.]

Maw: What about you Cull?!

Cull Obsidian: I ain't found shit!

[Goldenbane]

Iron Man: So, Cull is trying to escape! Fire a warning shot across his nose!

BLAM BLAM BLAM!!!

Iron Man: I said ACROSS his nose, not UP it!

Spider-man: S...s...s...sorry M...M...M...Mister Stark...Mister Stark...I'm doing...doing m...m...my best M...M...Mister Stark!

Iron Man: Strange, who made that kid a gunner?

May: I DID SIR! He's my nephew!

Iron Man: Who is she?

Dr. Strange: She's a Parker, Anthony.

Iron Man: I know that, what's her name?

Dr. Strange: That is her name, Anthony, Parker...Aunt May Parker.

Iron Man: And her nephew?

Dr. Strange: He's a Parker too, Anthony. Gunnery first class, Peter Parker.

Iron Man: How many Parkers we got on this ship anyhow?

Everyone else on ship: YO!!!

Iron Man: I knew it, I'm surrounded by Parkers. KEEP FIRING PARKERS!