I need breakup advice FAN

[HisRoyalGreeness]

This is my first time expressing any personal issue on this or any forum so bare with me. My circle of friends is extremely small and this is definitely not something I intend to take to social media. I’ve been in a lot of breakups in my 34 years including a divorce but this is different. I had been dating this girl for 6 months. She’s actually the first girl I’ve dated since my ex wife and I split in 2015. Things were great. She’s a damn angel and we shared a similar sense of humor and things were great between the sheets. She didn’t care about my baggage or my financial situation (I’ve essentially been in ruin since my divorce). We both have kids and the kids get along great. Well apparently things have changed with her and her needs. Basically needing someone a little more stable financially that can offer her more support when she needs it. She’s admitted this isn’t something she ever felt she needed but here we are. Fair enough. I can’t faukt her for it at all. She has to do what’s best for her and her daughter. So Saturday she wanted to talk on the phone which should have been a red flag to me because we always communicate via text. That’s when the breakup blindsided me like a ton of bricks. Here’s my problem. There’s no I’ll will on either end. It’s a case of me being what she wants but not what she needs. We’re still friends and I definitely want her in my life. I truly love this girl. Easily the sweetest, kindest girl I’ve ever been with. Now that the romantic relationship is over I don’t know what the f*** to do. I’ve never had a breakup like this. There’s always animosity for me to feed off of which actually helps in the getting over it process. With this though, I just feel stuck. She’s all I can think about. I want to stay in contact but obviously things are different now and I honestly have no clue what the proper etiquette is here. Any advice is appreciated. I’ve been a part of this forum since the Wrestlecrap days and I know y’all can be great when it comes to this kind of stuff.

[Hit Girl]

Bin her and move on. Focus on improving your own financial situation without the burden of someone who is just looking for a meal ticket.

[Cranjis McBasketball]

Don’t keep her around yourself. It’s only gonna lead to misery.

[Toilet Paper Roll]

Work on yourself. It gets your mind of feeling bad about the situation and the bonus is you come out a better person.

[The 1Watcher Experience]

I’ve been in a similar situation. I met a great girl and we were crazy about each other. I was only 19 at the time. We had a few years of some wild fun. We had a few disagreements but we worked through them. We were happy. She found herself in some financial trouble and I helped her as much as I could. Apparently that wasn’t enough because she cheated on me with some guy with more money than me. That crushed me at the time. So I started working some odd jobs on the side and started saving money however I could. I started putting more away. Opened a retirement fund. I just wanted to be more responsible. Not to win her back or anything. Just to prove I could improve myself. When someone makes me feel like I’m not good enough I tend to try to improve my own situation. That’s how I cope with it. It would’ve been easy to hate her for her betrayal but I’m just not a hateful person. I was extremely disappointed but hate just isn’t my thing. It doesn’t motivate me.

Self improvement worked for me. That ex got back in touch with me years later and found out I was doing better. The guy she ran off with knocked her up and left town. I didn’t feel good about that. It was like feeling crushed again. I really cared about her and I was sad for her. I never would’ve treated her that way. She wanted to get back together. She was very apologetic and serious but I wasn’t taking her back. I just couldn’t see myself raising the child of the person she cheated on me with. It would always be a reminder that I wasn’t good enough and I knew that I deserved better. Besides the trust was gone. Trust is like glass. It’s easy to break. It can’t be fixed, only replaced. I do wish her well. I can’t be angry about it. I might have dodged a bullet. Who knows? It just wasn’t meant to be.

The older we get the more people expect from us in a relationship. They want to be around people that have their stuff together. At least if it’s on a serious level. Can’t blame them really but don’t beat yourself up over it either. You just need to move on and not let the disappointment drag you down. I know that’s easier said than done but sitting around dwelling on it will only make you feel worse. When you find yourself doing that ask yourself what it’s doing for you. It’s only making you depressed. I know. I’ve been there and it sucked. There are times I wish I dusted myself off sooner and got back out there because I wasted so much time feeling down. They’ve decided to move on. It’s best that you do too.

There are always people looking for casual relationships. I’ve gone into those coming out of a serious relationship because I wasn’t ready to jump into another serious one but I also wanted a friend and I missed the intimacy. A rebound is a way to distract yourself but it’s not for everyone. The best way to get over someone is to meet someone better. That’s not always easy to do, but someone fun can work wonders for easing your pain too. You never know what that could lead to. It could be a lot of fun finding out. Best of luck to you.

[Fade is a CodyCryBaby]

I'd say no contact, and get moving. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally, all of it. Just dive into other shit, man.