The Thread Barbi
El Dandy
UEIIII!!!!!
Thread Pirates beware!
Posts: 8,927
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Post by The Thread Barbi on Jun 21, 2018 14:28:43 GMT -5
"Koko B. Ware is a crossword wrestler: he enters the ring vertically, and leaves horizontally." Thank you! Best laugh I have had all week!
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Post by The Barber on Jun 22, 2018 6:16:26 GMT -5
To Bret Hart: "You've been biting your nails for so long, your stomach needs a manicure!"
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A damn road sign
Samurai Cop
"What the hell am I? A school crossing?"
Posts: 2,424
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Post by A damn road sign on Jun 22, 2018 6:21:13 GMT -5
Lawler losing his mind over Taka's elimination in the 2000 Rumble. “Can we see that little Chinese guy get eliminated again?!”
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Post by Ronny Rayguns Is All Elite on Jun 22, 2018 6:44:01 GMT -5
I forget the actual people involved but...
World Champion comes out and does a 10 minute promo about how he's the best
Challenger #1's theme song plays, he comes out and argues he should get a title shot that night
Challenger #2's theme song plays, he comes out and says HE should be the one getting a title shot
Challenger #3 has his music played, comes out and does the same thing
King: Is EVERYBODY going to get a title shot tonight?! Somebody play my music!
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Post by chronocross on Jun 22, 2018 6:54:13 GMT -5
Lawler losing his mind over Taka's elimination in the 2000 Rumble. “Can we see that little Chinese guy get eliminated again?!” "Do we have any good Chinese hospitals here in New York?"
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Post by Confused Mark Wahlberg on Jun 22, 2018 8:51:18 GMT -5
I used to like how he'd randomly shout 'AH!'
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Nikki Heyman
Fry's dog Seymour
EXTREEEEEME Pony Manager
✬ Believe In The Fight ✬
Posts: 24,018
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Post by Nikki Heyman on Jun 22, 2018 9:49:01 GMT -5
"I wouldn't believe him if his tongue were notarized"
"Kane gave a gal a valentine heart... it was still beating"
A couple of shows after he came back from the heart attack, they backed an ambulance into the area. Lawler didn't miss a beat. "My ride's here!"
Forgot who he said it to, but he told someone "You're only here to establish an alibi"
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Post by GuyOfOwnage on Jun 22, 2018 10:10:46 GMT -5
Tell you what, Lawler as the mouthpiece for some new team or monster heel would still be money. I feel like peak heel Lawler wouldn't be possible in today's WWE. He'd be completely neutered in the name of political correctness.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jun 22, 2018 10:24:40 GMT -5
I feel like this could essentially be the "Jerry Lawler's Stu & Helen Hart Jokes" thread. I would argue that this whole angle with the Hart family was the closest Lawler ever got to Heenan's level on commentary (even if he didn't QUITE reach it).
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Post by MrElijah on Jun 22, 2018 11:08:41 GMT -5
"It's takes a King...." *Enters 1997 Rumble and immediately gets eliminated by Bret Hart. Goes back to commentary* "....To know a King."
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Post by chronocross on Jun 22, 2018 13:51:36 GMT -5
"I heard Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young were waitresses at the Last Supper"
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Post by crowley1986 on Jun 22, 2018 13:52:15 GMT -5
There was a match between Val Venis and Dick Togo and I had a lot of material but Dustin Runnels had to come out here to talk about the Bible
You've got one of those Bill Clinton computers: a six inch floppy, a harddrive, and no memory
Michael Cole: "JR get well soon we all want you back." Jerry Lawler: "I really want you back."
I cant remember what he said, but during an XPac Kane cage match, he nearly died when JR said Penis....and me and my brother couldn't stop laughing at him
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Pushed to the Moon
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Tony Schiavone in Disguise
Working myself into a shoot
Posts: 15,819
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Post by Pushed to the Moon on Jun 22, 2018 14:06:26 GMT -5
Lawler was f***ing hilarious. People talk a lot these days about how bad he got or how much they hate him but aside from the tiresome puppies schtick he's always been the best.
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Sephiroth
Wade Wilson
Surviving
Posts: 28,968
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Post by Sephiroth on Jun 22, 2018 14:19:47 GMT -5
Luna: By the way Sable, the winner of the evening gown match is the one who has the most clothes left on! Lawyer: I LIKE IT! LETS DO IT!
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Sephiroth
Wade Wilson
Surviving
Posts: 28,968
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Post by Sephiroth on Jun 22, 2018 14:20:26 GMT -5
Lawler was f***ing hilarious. People talk a lot these days about how bad he got or how much they hate him but aside from the tiresome puppies schtick he's always been the best. As a heel announcer he was every bit the equal of Jesse and Heenan. When they had him go neutral it totally sucked away his wit.
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fw91
Patti Mayonnaise
FAN Idol All-Star: FAN Idol Season X and *Gavel* 2x Judges' Throwdown winner
Tribe has spoken for 2024 Mets
Posts: 39,104
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Post by fw91 on Jun 22, 2018 14:45:25 GMT -5
My favorite Lawler moments in no order
1) The first rock concert 2) his reactions whenever rock would mention poontang pie ( ah! Hahahha, you what kind of pie that is JR?) 3) when Patterson and Brisco entered for their roles during the over the edge 98 main event 4) when Flair joined HHH and attacked Michales during an 03 Raw JR. was questioning what was going on King: Yeah, but look at naitch. Aren’t you proud of naitch? JR: Hell No I’m not proud of Naitch
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Post by Confused Mark Wahlberg on Jun 22, 2018 20:51:54 GMT -5
"I'm not saying Helen Hart is old, but she's is the only person I know who has an autographed copy of the Bible!"
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Nikki Heyman
Fry's dog Seymour
EXTREEEEEME Pony Manager
✬ Believe In The Fight ✬
Posts: 24,018
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Post by Nikki Heyman on Jun 22, 2018 22:38:12 GMT -5
Lawler was f***ing hilarious. People talk a lot these days about how bad he got or how much they hate him but aside from the tiresome puppies schtick he's always been the best. I do like when he gets creative outside of the puppies stuff to drool over women. "All those curves and me with no brakes!" When he commentated for XFL he got a great camera shot of the cheerleaders. "I love America! Land of Milk and Honeys!"
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Post by captaincheapshot on Jun 22, 2018 22:41:48 GMT -5
Telling Stu Hart to "put your false teeth in backwards and eat yourself to death!" Stu and Helen Hart are "so old they knew the dead sea when it was only sick." Helen Hart is "so old she was at the Virgin Mary's baby shower."
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The Sam
El Dandy
The Brainiest Sam of all
Posts: 8,423
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Post by The Sam on Jun 23, 2018 1:17:25 GMT -5
(to some fan in the crowd) I saw you drinking in the bathroom earlier, until the seat fell down and hit you in the back of the head.
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