If Vince Russo Booked Your Favorite Movie?

[KAMALARAMBO: BOOMSHAKALAKA!!!]

Transformers: The Movie (1986) is the movie I’ve watched more times than any other so I’ll say that’s my favorite today.

Some swerves I could see Russo booking...

*Arcee is revealed to be a man. Also her and Hot Rod are brothers.

*Ultra Magnus let Hot Rod and Kup presumably die on purpose and was a Decepticon all along.

*Wheelie never actually existed and was in Grimlock’s imagination the whole time.

*Blurr was addicted to crackergon, an illicit version of energon. Springer was the dealer.

*Daniel was a transformer the whole time.

*Unicron has his own Matrix and unleashes it to stop the first Matrix from killing him and destroys all the Autobots except Rodimus Prime and Bumblebee.

*Rodimus reveals that a third Matrix was inside Unicron’s ass and Bumblebee sacrifices himself to get Unicron to fart it out.

*Rodimus opens it to destroy Unicron one and for all. An Autobot insignia flies off of Unicron and into space.

*The movie ends with Rodimus embracing Daniel as he pulls off his Autobot insignia to reveal he’s a Decepticon.

[Ben Wyatt]

"So, the ship is sinking, but before Rose can get on a lifeboat, Jack shoves her off the Titanic and into the sea where she drowns, bro. He and Cal then board the lifeboat and start heavily making out while Molly Brown and Rose's mom start stripping. I'm tellin' ya, bro, THAT would have put even more asses in seats and won even MORE Oscars!"

[realist]

- The Dark Knight trilogy would end with Batman and Bane being revealed as half-brothers with Bane wearing the mask because of a fire caused by a young Bruce Wayne. The rest of the movie goes on to feature them double crossing one another and reconciling every five or ten minutes.

- In "The Lion King," Simba would take the throne at the end and then proceed to cut a shoot interview on the other animals, calling them by their real names and saying how he never needed them to get to the top because they were not there for him when his dad died and he was in exile.

[I'm Team Bayley and Indi]

"This isn't John McClane talking to Hans Gruber... this is Bruce Willis talking to Alan Rickman"

[Welfare Willis]

The thing? Kurt Russell, but it's Kurt Russell as Snake from Escape from NY.

[111111]

My favourite movie is Clerks.

Kevin Smith is basically hollywoods Vince Russo so I'm not sure what would really change.

[El Pollo Guerrera]

Truthfully, I've always wanted to see a movie script from Russo.

Just to see what kind of train wreck it would be.

[Hit Girl]

Quint and Jaws were in cahoots all along.

[Allie Kitsune]

I'm pretty sure he already did.

Memento isn't exactly light on the swerves, IMO.

[No Longer a Produceman]

Infinity War:

Vision lays down and simply lets Thanos take the Mind Stone. Thanos leaves. Out comes Anthony and Joe Russo

Anthony Russo: Three weeks ago, I left Marvel…and quite frankly, I didn't know if I was gonna come back. And the reason I didn't know if I was gonna come back or not is because from day one that I have been in the MCU, I 've done nothing, nothing but deal with the bullshit of the politics behind that curtain. The fact of the matter is, I've got a life, I've got three dogs at home, and I really don't need this shit. But let me tell you the reason why I did come back. I came back for everyone of the guys in that studio that week in, week out, bust their ass for the MCU.

I came back for the Falcon's, I came back for every single guy in the Guardians, I came back for the Ant-Mans, I came back for Black Widow, I came back for the guys behind that curtain that give a shit about this company. And let me tell you who doesn't give a shit about this company, that Goddam politician Thanos.

Cause let me tell you people what happened out here in this film tonight. All day long I'm playing politics with Thanos, because Thanos tonight wants to play his creative control card. And to Thanos, that meant that tonight in the middle of this movie, when he knew it was bullshit, he beats Vision. Well guess what, Thanos got his wish, Thanos got his Infinity Stone and he went the hell home, and I promise everybody or else I'll go in the Goddam grave, you will never see that piece of shit again! Thanos, you big, purple, bald son of a bitch, you can kiss my ass!!

[realist]

Sept 25, 2018 12:24:00 GMT -5 No Longer a Produceman said:

Infinity War:

Vision lays down and simply lets Thanos take the Mind Stone. Thanos leaves. Out comes Anthony and Joe Russo

Anthony Russo: Three weeks ago, I left Marvel…and quite frankly, I didn't know if I was gonna come back. And the reason I didn't know if I was gonna come back or not is because from day one that I have been in the MCU, I 've done nothing, nothing but deal with the bullshit of the politics behind that curtain. The fact of the matter is, I've got a life, I've got three dogs at home, and I really don't need this shit. But let me tell you the reason why I did come back. I came back for everyone of the guys in that studio that week in, week out, bust their ass for the MCU.

I came back for the Falcon's, I came back for every single guy in the Guardians, I came back for the Ant-Mans, I came back for Black Widow, I came back for the guys behind that curtain that give a shit about this company. And let me tell you who doesn't give a shit about this company, that Goddam politician Thanos.

Cause let me tell you people what happened out here in this film tonight. All day long I'm playing politics with Thanos, because Thanos tonight wants to play his creative control card. And to Thanos, that meant that tonight in the middle of this movie, when he knew it was bullshit, he beats Vision. Well guess what, Thanos got his wish, Thanos got his Infinity Stone and he went the hell home, and I promise everybody or else I'll go in the Goddam grave, you will never see that piece of shit again! Thanos, you big, purple, bald son of a bitch, you can kiss my ass!!

I only regret that I can only like this post once.

[Deleted]

Kevin Costner's character would've murdered his family in Field of Dreams

[Honeybear Lyder]

Kylo Ren, Rey and Luke Skywalker's light saber on a pole match.

[Aceorton]

Daniel LaRusso is setting up for the crane kick.

Johnny Lawrence is ready to end this. "FINISH HIM!" yells John Kreese.

CHAIR TO THE BACK BY MIYAGI!

Daniel goes down.

Miyagi hugs Kreese.

Miyagi announces his real name is Dong Gi Va Fuk and he does crotch chops and is a sex addict.

[Albino Heat]

Rocky and Apollo fight in an Adrian on a Pole match.

Which is won by Mickey.

[James Fabiano]

Not only that, but Transformers would be filled with potty humor, racial stereotypes, "sexy" "actresses" and....oh wait, that really happened?

[James Fabiano]

Well I have a feeling M. Night Shymalan, Michael Bay, and Zack Snyder need to be on his booking committee.

[James Fabiano]

Okayyyyyyy....after that, you just KNEW I had to get involved....

I'm gonna steal this from Maleficent, but since that got to be Russo bad at times....Snow White won't wake up when Prince Charming kisses her because...she's been having a lesbian relationship with Aurora, who SWERVE, was faking being a sleeping beauty just so she could sneak to the dwarves' cottage to make out every night with an equally faking Snow. But it's OK cause Charming was banging Prince Philip. See, bro, at the end of the day all my storylines end and begin with LOGIC, bro. Oh, and since Charming's rotoscoping has his design with lips and eyes that stand out, that must mean he has to be servicing Philip totally in drag, cause transvestites are meant to be treated like ratings grabbers!

The dwarves also must star in a parody of Snow White and Aurora for their betrayal, cause PARODIES STARRING MIDGETS EQUAL RATINGS, BRO!!!!!

[James Fabiano]

Maybe less than a minute, and I'm down the rabbit hole fully....


A Christmas Story.....SWERVE! The Old Man shoots Ralphie with the Red Ryder BB Gun! They do child murder all the time on NYPD Blue, bro!

Or Ralphie fakes the soap poisoning, reveals he really isn't blind, and bludgeons the Parkers with his rifle. Oh wait, that was an ECW swerve and was actually GOOD.

Luke and Leia are revealed to be siblings, but they don't ignore the kiss. Cause incest = BUYRAYES!

Jason is so ticked off by his mother being killed cause he was sleeping with her, duh. See above, bro. Oh and Jason must become friends with one of the campers at Crystal Lake despite his love of pot and other things. Said camper teaches him to be human and his first words are "suck it". Jason then falls for a female counselor, but SWERVE, his new buddy and her have been having sex all along!!!!! Back to square one.

Amanda Krueger was the one who set the fire. Not only that but she was no nun, she was a stripper who willingly had sex with every one of those 100 maniacs. Since nuns don't believe in abortion, she did give birth to Freddy, but she tried to kill him in said fire.

The Passion of the Christ ends with Jesus on the Undertaker's Symbol.

Dr. Loomis was the head of the Thorn Cult in Halloween 6.

Laurie was under "Michael's" mask all along.

Kill Bill's climactic fights must involve Uma Thurman in a mud pit.

The hunter tricks Bambi into eating his own mother's remains.

Pinocchio whips out stunners on the Blue Fairy and Jiminy Cricket and decides that, SWERVE, he doesn't care about being a real boy after all and he joins up with Stromboli or whoever ran Pleasure Island. Only SWERVE #2, he betrays him too and takes the whole island for his own.

Tries to get Dolly Parton, et al in their bras and panties or bikinis in 9 to 5.

[James Fabiano]

Sept 25, 2018 7:19:50 GMT -5 KAMALARAMBO: BOOMSHAKALAKA!!! said:

Transformers: The Movie (1986) is the movie I’ve watched more times than any other so I’ll say that’s my favorite today.

Some swerves I could see Russo booking...

*Ultra Magnus let Hot Rod and Kup presumably die on purpose and was a Decepticon all along.

Well Chris Champion DID list Magnus as one of the Decepticons who wanted Lazer-Tron stopped.