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Post by zrowsdower on Jun 16, 2023 16:47:11 GMT -5
Just want to say, screw this world, love hurts and i hate living. I hope things have gotten better for you since then. No....this has been a shit week which has been part of a pretty shit year. I'm sorry for my negative attitude.
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Ultimo Gallos
Grimlock
Dreams SUCK!Nightmares live FOREVER!
Posts: 14,370
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Post by Ultimo Gallos on Jul 24, 2023 23:06:22 GMT -5
Been a rough month. No real reason for my depression to flare up.
But it did. Found when it does if I can force myself to get out of bed and do something it helps. Might be cleaning the house. Might be working out. Might just be sitting on my back porch reading and letting my dog,Maggot Ass,bark at geese in the lake.
Hope yall are doing well.
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Post by zrowsdower on Aug 5, 2023 18:46:48 GMT -5
Been a rough month. No real reason for my depression to flare up. But it did. Found when it does if I can force myself to get out of bed and do something it helps. Might be cleaning the house. Might be working out. Might just be sitting on my back porch reading and letting my dog,Maggot Ass,bark at geese in the lake. Hope yall are doing well. I hope you and maggot ass are doing okay.
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Ultimo Gallos
Grimlock
Dreams SUCK!Nightmares live FOREVER!
Posts: 14,370
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Post by Ultimo Gallos on Aug 5, 2023 19:15:02 GMT -5
Thanks man. Doing good.
Accepted that from now till I pass I will have bad days.
Maggot Ass is sitting in my chair,wearing her favorite outfit. Watching the new Wonder Years with us.
Hope you are doing ok.
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Ultimo Gallos
Grimlock
Dreams SUCK!Nightmares live FOREVER!
Posts: 14,370
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Post by Ultimo Gallos on Aug 11, 2023 1:24:07 GMT -5
Learned the other day a good friend's son has bi polar. Talked to the son,he is turning 20 soon. Letting him know that if he ever needed to talk I was available.
Hoping he can find the right combo of meds and diet that keeps his bi polar under some kind of control.
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Totorob101
Hank Scorpio
Glob Glob Glob
Posts: 5,571
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Post by Totorob101 on Sept 17, 2023 21:04:46 GMT -5
Hope all you guys feel ok and wish nothing but the best to you.
I never talk online about my problems and I don t like to get close to anyone in the world or online or on here as I can't stand the human race and honestly it's a miracle I'm still here because it's tiring having to see so much bad stuff going on in the world and my own personal mental problems to.
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Post by zrowsdower on Oct 2, 2023 18:00:01 GMT -5
Hope all you guys feel ok and wish nothing but the best to you. I never talk online about my problems and I don t like to get close to anyone in the world or online or on here as I can't stand the human race and honestly it's a miracle I'm still here because it's tiring having to see so much bad stuff going on in the world and my own personal mental problems to. It's hard trying to turn to others especially when a lot of people can be so insensitive and dismissive. Sorry for anything you're struggling with.
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Post by thechase on Oct 3, 2023 6:57:46 GMT -5
Thanks man. Doing good. Accepted that from now till I pass I will have bad days. Maggot Ass is sitting in my chair,wearing her favorite outfit. Watching the new Wonder Years with us. Hope you are doing ok. Hey, I'd just like to say thanks for providing us with regular updates on your vintage comic book hauls, it's really reignited interest in that thread after me and Duke hijacked it with our constant ramblings over current "big two" comics. Your advise over 'unplugging' from all of that hasn't gone unheard on my end. Having the time of my life discovering lost prints of the ASM newspaper strip and coming to terms that 'my' era of that character ended happily in MC2. Hope you're well.
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Ultimo Gallos
Grimlock
Dreams SUCK!Nightmares live FOREVER!
Posts: 14,370
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Post by Ultimo Gallos on Oct 3, 2023 12:42:09 GMT -5
No problem.
Doing decent. Not sleeping as much as I should but every year around this time it happens.
But hey if I can't sleep I get up go sit in a brightly lit room and read. Almost done with Alan Moore SMAX and up next is maybe some horror stuff.
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Ultimo Gallos
Grimlock
Dreams SUCK!Nightmares live FOREVER!
Posts: 14,370
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Post by Ultimo Gallos on Oct 4, 2023 10:41:57 GMT -5
And last night I got 8 hours sleep.
Not sure if it hits everyone like this but according to my research some people with bi polar can be effected by the seasons changing.
With me when it goes from Summer to Fall I get where I can't sleep much. I get angry fast and I rather not be around people.
Hope yall are doing good. One thing I have found works for me is having a good support system. Like ym woman says often "Gallos we are both broken. Put out pieces together and we are whole"
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Post by thechase on Oct 4, 2023 11:56:15 GMT -5
I woke up pretty early too, about 4 AM, and the day before it was 5:30
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Ultimo Gallos
Grimlock
Dreams SUCK!Nightmares live FOREVER!
Posts: 14,370
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Post by Ultimo Gallos on Oct 9, 2023 10:24:43 GMT -5
Well seems like until my body adjusts I will sleep 4 to 6 hours tops each night. Then one day a week crash out for 12 to 14 hours.
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Desi
Dennis Stamp
Do Not Approve
Posts: 4,519
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Post by Desi on Oct 14, 2023 14:56:50 GMT -5
Can I say that PMDD is hell & I want off this wild ride? 😖
(Ideation is a big symptom of PMDD due to hormonal changes messing with our emotional state.)
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Post by zrowsdower on Oct 21, 2023 13:37:19 GMT -5
No idea what that's like but I'm sorry you have had to deal with that.
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Post by FALLOUT Goldashausen #BLM on Nov 26, 2023 10:20:32 GMT -5
2023 has been the worst year of my life for various personal reasons. I feel like I'm spiralling, and not much is going right. I just want to feel some sort of optimism again but I feel as if there's no escape from my current situation.
Even the things that used to bring me joy are letting me down, and I can't change that.
I'm not sure why I decided to make this post, in this thread, but I'm thankful for the times I log in here. Some of our goofier posts in the wrestling forums literally make me laugh out loud and I'm grateful for that. Thanks for being here.
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Post by Cyno on Nov 26, 2023 16:16:02 GMT -5
2023 has been the worst year of my life for various personal reasons. I feel like I'm spiralling, and not much is going right. I just want to feel some sort of optimism again but I feel as if there's no escape from my current situation. Even the things that used to bring me joy are letting me down, and I can't change that. I'm not sure why I decided to make this post, in this thread, but I'm thankful for the times I log in here. Some of our goofier posts in the wrestling forums literally make me laugh out loud and I'm grateful for that. Thanks for being here. Hope you can find someone to talk to, be it a close friend or family member or a professional.
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Gunhaver
Bubba Ho-Tep
"Gunhaver! You actually have a gun!"
Posts: 644
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Post by Gunhaver on Dec 9, 2023 16:45:13 GMT -5
I volunteer for the Crisis Text Line and I can assure everything you say is confidential even if you've used the service multiple times. We come into every conversation blind and with a clean slate. So if you need us we re a good service. I got help from the Crisis Text Line this week. I just wanted to let you know how much admiration I have for you and the volunteers making yourselves available to help complete strangers. I've wanted to volunteer for crisis lines for a while but have always felt like I either a) wasn't prepared for it, or b) a bad person who didn't belong. I've struggled with depression and bipolar, and I also struggle to deal with guilt in a healthy way and let things go. I'm always stuck in the past. One day I had a breakdown realizing how cruel, dishonest, and selfish my younger self had been in my personal and professional life, and for how long. I had to be admitted. I've been in therapy and take medications, but the feeling is never really gone, but it's especially bad in the winter. I was hung up on the thought there's no redemption. I betrayed my own ideals, tarnished my reputation, and led a life of hypocrisy. I was verbally and emotionally abusive to some people, petty to others, and took pleasure in punching down to build myself up. I degraded and dehumanized people. I was my worst absolute self. I could try and be a better person, I thought, but that doesn't change the person I had been previously, nor does it undo harm I had caused. I was also obsessed with trying to prove to someone, anyone, that I was a different person, even though that was missing the point of wanting to be that better person. Even then, the past is always there. One summer the rumination got really bad and I had made a detailed plan to end my life. Thankfully, I had a moment of clarity the day of realizing how much pain it would cause others and admitted myself to the hospital without making the attempt. I still have bad days, and like I said, I still struggle with guilt from the past. When I'm severely depressed, I sometimes catch myself engaging in some of the awful behaviors that led to my breakdown, and everything comes back and crushes me, making it worse. But I came to realize that what I do in the present is all I can control, and it doesn't matter if others see the good I'm trying to do. I need to make peace with myself. I can hold myself accountable and put more effort into changing myself for the better. It was friends, family, and mental health workers/volunteers who helped me get out of my spiral and see that. In my last go around in the hospital, someone mentioned the Buddhist teaching that life is suffering, albeit they didn't get the context. But it made me realize that everyone suffers to some degree, so the best thing I can do is to help alleviate that suffering when and where I can, to help them and myself. It's become my mantra. I'm really glad I could reach the Crisis Text Line because they not only grounded me, but when I mentioned I had wanted to volunteer to help others but felt I had disqualified myself from doing so, they set me straight and encouraged me to try. When things settle down in a bit I'm going to do just that, and I look forward to spreading the kindness those volunteers, the complete strangers, have given me. Thank you so much for what you do, lucas lee, and to anyone else who has reached out to help someone in need, even if you're just listening to their troubles or reading their (admittedly long what the hell how did that happen) post on a niche wrestling board and chiming in. A small amount of sympathy and love can completely change someone's life. I hope everyone reading this who is suffering will reach out. Even if you've used a crisis line or similar service before and felt it wasn't a positive experience, I encourage you to try again. You'll almost certainly get a different volunteer. Or maybe try another line. But please don't lose hope. You matter, no matter what. Much love, HH
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Wardlow on Wardlow 54
Wade Wilson
Don't get Wardlow'd by your Wardlow if you can't Wardlow them back
Posts: 29,449
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Post by Wardlow on Wardlow 54 on Dec 24, 2023 19:30:50 GMT -5
This time of year can create a lot of complicated emotions. I just want everyone here to know that it's OK to be not OK. Just remember that you are beautiful, you are valid and you are loved. Happy holidays and peace on earth to all of you.
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Post by zrowsdower on Dec 25, 2023 13:30:56 GMT -5
This time of year can create a lot of complicated emotions. I just want everyone here to know that it's OK to be not OK. Just remember that you are beautiful, you are valid and you are loved. Happy holidays and peace on earth to all of you. Thank you. Made the mistake of walking downtown in my area last night and was reminded of all the couples I walked past how unworthy of love and acceptance i am. Sorry for being negative.
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Ultimo Gallos
Grimlock
Dreams SUCK!Nightmares live FOREVER!
Posts: 14,370
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Post by Ultimo Gallos on Dec 30, 2023 20:49:01 GMT -5
Bad rough day. Woke up hurting from head to toe. Not wanting to do anything.
Fought through all that. About to start a movie marathon with my two favorite ladies on the planet. One of whom is passed out snoozing by me cause she just got a "chicken Bone" dog treat.
Hope yall are doing ok.
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