SB Nation - Every WrestleMania match ranked: The Worst

[The Rick Jericho]

www.cagesideseats.com/wwe/2021/3/29/22350250/wrestlemania-match-rankings-all-time-worst

What are matches on that list you feel shouldn't be on a worst of list?

345. Roddy Piper vs. Goldust - Hollywood Backlot Brawl (WrestleMania XII)

This was a brutal match and I mean by physicality. Does it hold up? Depends on how you view the performers. But getting this match in because they couldn't get O.J. Simpson or Razor Ramon to work the show, you have to give them both credit for the match.

322. Randy Savage vs. Crush - Falls Count Anywhere Match (WrestleMania X)

I do agree with the writer that this shouldn't have been Savage's last Wrestlemania match when there were so many more chances before 2011. I enjoy this match and the feud was intense as hell. Workrate wasn't as good, but damn, it was enjoyable.

307. ECW Originals vs. The New Breed (WrestleMania 23)

They weren't the same ECW originals, but it's still surreal to think RVD, Sandman, Sabu and Dreamer had a match together and on one team. It wasn't the worst match, but I do agree, the one they had on free TV a few weeks later was even better.

Apparently this list will continue some time today. Will link the next portion as soon as it is up.

[Deleted]

Some of them I haven't seen (and some I just straight up don't remember), but Cole vs. Lawler is still the worst for me.

[DiBiase is Good]

The Gimmick Battle Royal is a terrible, terrible match, but it’s a joyous nostalgia trip.

[Chiral]

Having most of the like >1 minute matches on the bottom here has me thinking, is it at all possible to have a GOOD thirty second match? Or is that just inherently unsatisfying on a technical level?

[1 Free Moon-Down with Burger]

Mar 31, 2021 16:40:45 GMT -5 Chiral said:

Having most of the like >1 minute matches on the bottom here has me thinking, is it at all possible to have a GOOD thirty second match? Or is that just inherently unsatisfying on a technical level?

Goldberg/Brock at Survivor Series

[rocket]

Mar 31, 2021 16:40:45 GMT -5 Chiral said:

Having most of the like >1 minute matches on the bottom here has me thinking, is it at all possible to have a GOOD thirty second match? Or is that just inherently unsatisfying on a technical level?

Warrior beating Honky for the IC title.

[PKO]

Mar 31, 2021 16:08:30 GMT -5 @dax said:

Some of them I haven't seen (and some I just straight up don't remember), but Cole vs. Lawler is still the worst for me.

The match should have been Lawler kicking Cole’s ass for a couple mins and then easily beating him with a finisher.

Instead the in-ring action was nearly 15 minutes of mostly Cole beating down Lawler, then when Lawler gets the victory it’s overturned by the anonymous GM for...reasons? Add in a lot of extra fluff like a Cole promo and Austin beer bash and it took up way, way, way too much time.

Just atrocious.

[thelonewolf527]

Bryan and Sheamus has no business being grouped in with the dogshit that is also down that far. You can disagree with it, but at least it made sense and wasn't a 20 minute snoozefest with old people or a dumb womens match before the women got taken seriously.

[DiBiase is Good]

Mar 31, 2021 17:13:52 GMT -5 PKO said:

Mar 31, 2021 16:08:30 GMT -5 @dax said:

Some of them I haven't seen (and some I just straight up don't remember), but Cole vs. Lawler is still the worst for me.

The match should have been Lawler kicking Cole’s ass for a couple mins and then easily beating him with a finisher.

Instead the in-ring action was nearly 15 minutes of mostly Cole beating down Lawler, then when Lawler gets the victory it’s overturned by the anonymous GM for...reasons? Add in a lot of extra fluff like a Cole promo and Austin beer bash and it took up way, way, way too much time.

Just atrocious.

But it did give us that great image of Michael Cole’s faced pressed up against his commentary box.
That alone almost makes the rest of it worthwhile.

[Deleted]

I liked the backlot brawl... :/

[DiBiase is Good]

I’ll never claim that the Bret/Vince match isn’t utter shite but it’s got a special place in my heart as a favourite of mine.
To see Bret Hart have (at that particular moment anyway) one big final match and seemingly lay to rest a lot of the shit that had been thrown his way in the previous decade of his life, that was a great moment.
Yes it was way too long and was a squash match that went ten minutes longer than any squash should go. But we got to see Bret have a final WWE match that wasn’t Montreal.

[msc]

Mar 31, 2021 16:40:45 GMT -5 Chiral said:

Having most of the like >1 minute matches on the bottom here has me thinking, is it at all possible to have a GOOD thirty second match? Or is that just inherently unsatisfying on a technical level?

Its not going to win any star ratings, but I remain quite fond of Survivor Series 98.

"We got a replacement and here he is, The Big Boss Man!"
Bossman comes out all smug, crowd boos.
Bossman rolls into ring, direct into a small package and an immediate three count.
Rock's music plays, Rock advances after 3 seconds.
Replays show entire match and entrance.
Bossman acts up like a pro.

[The Rick Jericho]

Mar 31, 2021 17:45:13 GMT -5 DiBiase is Good said:

I’ll never claim that the Bret/Vince match isn’t utter shite but it’s got a special place in my heart as a favourite of mine.
To see Bret Hart have (at that particular moment anyway) one big final match and seemingly lay to rest a lot of the shit that had been thrown his way in the previous decade of his life, that was a great moment.
Yes it was way too long and was a squash match that went ten minutes longer than any squash should go. But we got to see Bret have a final WWE match that wasn’t Montreal.

THIS.

Yes, the match was too long by about 5-10 minutes. And I wish Vince had some offence. Like trying to put Bret in the sharpshooter for cheap heat. But in the end, it's the achievement of this. After the concussion to end his career. The stroke. To come back and have some fun with the storyline and actually have a match at Wrestlemania. This match on principle should age better. I only wish this was his last match in WWE instead of a throwaway match on Raw in 2011.

Also, I wish if he didn't wear his tights, at least wear the Pink Shades. And of course the old theme music. Shades + music = at least 3 stars alone. And giving the glasses to a kid in the front.

So much more could've been done. Plus he comes back on the night his former bitter rival retires. What a full circle!

[EoE: Well There's Your Problem]

Mar 31, 2021 16:40:45 GMT -5 Chiral said:

Having most of the like >1 minute matches on the bottom here has me thinking, is it at all possible to have a GOOD thirty second match? Or is that just inherently unsatisfying on a technical level?

It has to be someone who REALLY has that kind of whupping coming, but at the same time, has to be someone where fans are willing to let them catch said whupping. Take Daniel Bryan v Sheamus for example. Bryan was being a big cowardly heel, hiding behind AJ Lee and loopholes in matches to technically win them, bragging about it all in the most obnoxious ways, so on and so forth. Him losing in 18 seconds at WrestleMania made logical sense in storyline, and would've been seen as great karmic justice for the heel's misdoings... If it wasn't for the fact that the whole schtick had gotten really over and fans wanted him to still be champion. So naturally, that happens...

[koreycaskets]

I know it's all personal opinion based lists created like this but Bundy vs SD Jones was definitely not one of the worst Mania Matches ever. It served its purpose at the time to show Bundy as a Monster. Quick doesn't make it bad.

[Xxcjb01xX [PIECE OF: SH-]]

Mar 31, 2021 16:24:24 GMT -5 DiBiase is Good said:

The Gimmick Battle Royal is a terrible, terrible match, but it’s a joyous nostalgia trip.

I'm pretty sure the Heenan/Okerlund commentary on that match would prevent even the most jaded of wrestling fan from hating it entirely...

[msc]

Mar 31, 2021 20:41:01 GMT -5 EoE: Well There's Your Problem said:

Mar 31, 2021 16:40:45 GMT -5 Chiral said:

Having most of the like >1 minute matches on the bottom here has me thinking, is it at all possible to have a GOOD thirty second match? Or is that just inherently unsatisfying on a technical level?

It has to be someone who REALLY has that kind of whupping coming, but at the same time, has to be someone where fans are willing to let them catch said whupping. Take Daniel Bryan v Sheamus for example. Bryan was being a big cowardly heel, hiding behind AJ Lee and loopholes in matches to technically win them, bragging about it all in the most obnoxious ways, so on and so forth. Him losing in 18 seconds at WrestleMania made logical sense in storyline, and would've been seen as great karmic justice for the heel's misdoings... If it wasn't for the fact that the whole schtick had gotten really over and fans wanted him to still be champion. So naturally, that happens...

Santino's Honk-a-Meter would have had the exact same reaction EXCEPT they ended it by having Regal beat him in 20 seconds in England and the crowd instead went f***ing apeshit. (Just rewatched it again, it's joyous, it is)

[Deleted]

Mar 31, 2021 20:41:01 GMT -5 EoE: Well There's Your Problem said:

Mar 31, 2021 16:40:45 GMT -5 Chiral said:

Having most of the like >1 minute matches on the bottom here has me thinking, is it at all possible to have a GOOD thirty second match? Or is that just inherently unsatisfying on a technical level?

It has to be someone who REALLY has that kind of whupping coming, but at the same time, has to be someone where fans are willing to let them catch said whupping. Take Daniel Bryan v Sheamus for example. Bryan was being a big cowardly heel, hiding behind AJ Lee and loopholes in matches to technically win them, bragging about it all in the most obnoxious ways, so on and so forth. Him losing in 18 seconds at WrestleMania made logical sense in storyline, and would've been seen as great karmic justice for the heel's misdoings... If it wasn't for the fact that the whole schtick had gotten really over and fans wanted him to still be champion. So naturally, that happens...

I think there were other reasons why that one didn't work, mostly that 1), the build wasn't there for it because the only real interactions he and Sheamus had were Sheamus constantly attacking him in the lead-up to it so Sheamus was the one coming off as the asshole, and 2), people were also cheated out of seeing Bryan / Sheamus the year before.

[Push R Truth]

Mar 31, 2021 16:24:24 GMT -5 DiBiase is Good said:

The Gimmick Battle Royal is a terrible, terrible match, but it’s a joyous nostalgia trip.

Hell yes! The Greatest and Best Piece of Shit Match in the HISTORY of our sport!

[Jaws the Shark]

I was a bit confused by the one that came bottom, then saw:

Any match that uses blackface automatically comes in last place. Those are the rules.

So fair enough, I suppose.

Am I reading correctly though, has Uncle Elmer vs. Adrian Adonis been spared the ignominy of being included in the bottom 50? Because that comes as a bit of a surprise, I think it's certainly far more deserving of being that low than all these squashes, or the Gimmick Battle Royal.