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Post by Vice honcho room temperature on Oct 27, 2021 23:24:20 GMT -5
They were having a contest I was unaware of. But I thought I opened up the yogurt wrong. Or maybe Yoplay was trying to inspire me. C'mom Mitch don't give up please try again a message of inspiration from your friends at YoPlay. Fruit on the bottom hope on top
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Post by DSR on Oct 28, 2021 0:32:10 GMT -5
I was in a casino, I was standing by the door. The security guard came over and said "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking the fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run.
If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit. Unless you are a table.
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Jake, The Jake, Jake
Dennis Stamp
Will never EVER get a personal title. Ever. Nope. Never. Not a chance. No way, no how.
Posts: 3,727 
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Post by Jake, The Jake, Jake on Oct 28, 2021 7:26:16 GMT -5
I am against picketing, but I don’t know how to show it
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Futureraven: Beelzebruv
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
The Ultimate Arbiter of Right And Wrong
Spent half my life here, God help me
Posts: 15,133
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Post by Futureraven: Beelzebruv on Oct 28, 2021 7:49:23 GMT -5
An escalator can never break, it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.
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El Pollo Guerrera
Grimlock
His name has chicken in it, and he is good at makin' .gifs, so that's cool.
Status: Runner
Posts: 14,768
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Post by El Pollo Guerrera on Oct 28, 2021 11:37:51 GMT -5
Every time I get on an elevator the attendant says the same thing: "Basement?"
I get no respect...
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Post by Hit Girl on Oct 28, 2021 12:42:33 GMT -5
Someone showed me a photograph and said "this is me when I was younger"
Every photograph of you is you when you were younger.
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Post by Zaq "That Guy" Buzzkill on Oct 28, 2021 13:19:52 GMT -5
Somebody put two ribeye's up a tree and bet me $50 to get them.
I couldn't do it. The steaks were to high.
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Post by HMARK Center on Oct 28, 2021 14:43:47 GMT -5
My apartment is infested with koala bears.
It is the cutest infestation ever.
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Post by Ishmeal Loves Kaseyhausen on Oct 28, 2021 20:07:34 GMT -5
Rice is really great if you're hungry and want to eat 2,000 of something.
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Brood Lone Wolf Funker
Ozymandius
Got fined anyway.
Possibly a Moose
James Franco is the white Donald Glover
Posts: 62,329
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Post by Brood Lone Wolf Funker on Oct 28, 2021 20:43:36 GMT -5
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
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Post by thegatewaydrug on Oct 30, 2021 0:28:45 GMT -5
I did a radio interview. The DJ’s first question was ‘Who are you?’ I had to think: Is this guy really deep or did I drive to the wrong station?
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Post by Limity (BLM) on Oct 30, 2021 0:52:26 GMT -5
When I was a kid, I had a twin bed. I used to lay in it, and wonder where my brother was.
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Post by Zaq "That Guy" Buzzkill on Oct 30, 2021 10:28:06 GMT -5
You know when it comes to racism, people say: " I don't care if they're black, white, purple or green"… Ooh hold on now: Purple or Green? You gotta draw the line somewhere! To hell with purple people! - Unless they're suffocating - then help'em.
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Mozenrath
FANatic
Foppery and Whim
Speedy Speed Boy
Posts: 121,204
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Post by Mozenrath on Oct 30, 2021 10:44:14 GMT -5
They say the recipe for Sprite is lemon and lime. I tried to make it at home. There's more to it than that.
"Hey, you want some more home made sprite?"
"Not 'til you figure what the f*** else goes in it!"
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Post by thegatewaydrug on Oct 30, 2021 17:15:10 GMT -5
Ducks eat for free at Subway!
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Cranjis McBasketball
Crow T. Robot
Knew what the hell that thing was supposed to be
Peace Love and Nothing But
Posts: 41,975
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Post by Cranjis McBasketball on Oct 30, 2021 18:12:05 GMT -5
Ducks eat for free at Subway! That whole thing actually happened to him. |
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fw91
Patti Mayonnaise
FAN Idol All-Star: FAN Idol Season X and *Gavel* 2x Judges' Throwdown winner
Tribe has spoken for 2024 Mets
Posts: 39,146
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Post by fw91 on Oct 30, 2021 18:24:41 GMT -5
Dufrane party of 2? Dufrane party of 2?
…Nobody Answers…
Bush Party of 3?
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Post by Natural Born Farmer on Oct 30, 2021 18:36:44 GMT -5
I, uh, totally understand what is happening in this thread.
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FinalGwen
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Particularly fond of muffins.
Posts: 16,443 
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Post by FinalGwen on Oct 30, 2021 18:53:20 GMT -5
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Post by Milkman Norm on Oct 30, 2021 19:13:31 GMT -5
He was our Steven Wright and he left us way to soon. I use the temporary line regularly.
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