Because it’s July 4th time everyone…

[fg]

All right everyone. Stand back while I celebrate freedom. Son, hand me your matches.

Son: “Fresh out.”

Me: “No lighter. Okay, I will go inside and use the stove.”

(Goes inside and uses the stove. The wick on the illegal firecracker breaks and I get scared that I can get hurt. I ponder and put the firecracker in the fridge.)

Me: “The beer!”

(I go into the fridge, get the firecracker which is somehow still lit and put into the dishwasher that is LOADED with dishes and the dishwasher explodes. Black liquid emanates from the sink and I whistle and walk away.)

[Spider2024]

[ayumidah]

Neighbors have been doing fireworks in their driveway right next to my bedroom for like a month now.

[fw91]

Those elephants that jumped over the fence for 50 cents should be coming down from the sky soon.

[r.]

Fireworks, The answer to the problem of too many fingers in Florida. [Seriously, Be safe]

[Non Banjoble Tokens]

Yeah let me have one of those porno magazines, large box of condoms, a bottle of old harper, a couple of those panty shields, some illegal fireworks, and one of those disposable enemas. Nah, make it two.

[Rumble McSkirmish]

The stars of 4Kids will sing the National Anthem:

[Sephiroth]

John Adams can’t write the declaration. They’ll run their pens right through it, he’s obnoxious and disliked, you know that!

[Cyno]

My mom's French so we have to celebrate Bastille Day.