Post by Joe Neglia on Jul 17, 2007 4:40:04 GMT -5
Finally, it has arrived! I've waited for this film to show up in my mailbox for weeks now, and the time has arrived. Shot in 1979 on a budget of about $2.18, this has been one of the most underground monster films of all time, but it's out on DVD now thanks to Image Entertainment.
Lookit that cover folks, you KNOW it's going to be awesome.
After two full minutes of bizarre narration while a camera pans down the side of a forest, the film gets rolling.
Yeah, dig that font, man. Dig it!
Wait...what the...
? That's supposed to be a credits screen? I knew this thing was no-budget, but geez...
Anyway, the story starts off with a (toy) rocket somewhere in (toy) space, where an astronaut collects....something.
The rocketship crashes to earth, where two dip**** kids find the radioactive containers from it and decide to pour the goop down a weasel hole.
After much blurry, close-up transformation sequences, the weasel turns into...something and does this to one of the boys:
Then it tries to cross a road, but doesn't bother to cross at the "Giant Mutant Weasel X-ing" sign, so he gets hit by a car and one of its limbs is torn off. It's taken home by this guy:
...who studies it with a friend. Then some freak shows up and takes them both hostage, and injects the first guy with some of his findings from the severed arm, turning him into this:
The Mutant Weasel shows up and attacks the freak, ripping one of his arms off:
And then it goes on a rampage, destroying nothing and killing nobody. The friend of the now-Mutant Guy runs into it in the middle of nowhere:
And it almost has him!
But wait!
Mutant Guy shows up and kills Mutant Weasel! Then, for no reason at all, Mutant Guy turns into Mutant Guy Doll
And bursts into flames!
And then the friend of Mutant Guy chases Mr. Freak, now Mr. One-Armed Freak to the ocean!
....out of nowhere....
A shark attacks Mr. One-Armed Freak!!!!!
....oh, wait, it's just a guy holding a prop shark head...
Now it's a shark again, as it tears Mr. One-Armed Freak's other arm off and triumphantly holds it in the air as Mr. No-Armed Freak dies. Then the shark veeeeerrrryyyyyy slllllooooowwwwlllllyyyy sinks back into the water.
Then Mutant Guy's friend walks off into the sunset and all is right in the world again!
And I must note that the entire score of the film is lifted from that classic of the cinema, The Horror of Party Beach.
THIS, my friends, is why the movie camera was invented!
Lookit that cover folks, you KNOW it's going to be awesome.
After two full minutes of bizarre narration while a camera pans down the side of a forest, the film gets rolling.
Yeah, dig that font, man. Dig it!
Wait...what the...
? That's supposed to be a credits screen? I knew this thing was no-budget, but geez...Anyway, the story starts off with a (toy) rocket somewhere in (toy) space, where an astronaut collects....something.
The rocketship crashes to earth, where two dip**** kids find the radioactive containers from it and decide to pour the goop down a weasel hole.
After much blurry, close-up transformation sequences, the weasel turns into...something and does this to one of the boys:
Then it tries to cross a road, but doesn't bother to cross at the "Giant Mutant Weasel X-ing" sign, so he gets hit by a car and one of its limbs is torn off. It's taken home by this guy:
...who studies it with a friend. Then some freak shows up and takes them both hostage, and injects the first guy with some of his findings from the severed arm, turning him into this:
The Mutant Weasel shows up and attacks the freak, ripping one of his arms off:
And then it goes on a rampage, destroying nothing and killing nobody. The friend of the now-Mutant Guy runs into it in the middle of nowhere:
And it almost has him!
But wait!
Mutant Guy shows up and kills Mutant Weasel! Then, for no reason at all, Mutant Guy turns into Mutant Guy Doll
And bursts into flames!
And then the friend of Mutant Guy chases Mr. Freak, now Mr. One-Armed Freak to the ocean!
....out of nowhere....
A shark attacks Mr. One-Armed Freak!!!!!
....oh, wait, it's just a guy holding a prop shark head...
Now it's a shark again, as it tears Mr. One-Armed Freak's other arm off and triumphantly holds it in the air as Mr. No-Armed Freak dies. Then the shark veeeeerrrryyyyyy slllllooooowwwwlllllyyyy sinks back into the water.
Then Mutant Guy's friend walks off into the sunset and all is right in the world again!
And I must note that the entire score of the film is lifted from that classic of the cinema, The Horror of Party Beach.
THIS, my friends, is why the movie camera was invented!
