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Post by Rocky Van Heineken on Aug 12, 2007 22:38:42 GMT -5
I've been watching a lot of Steven Seagal movies lately. I know they're universally considered horrible, but they're so over-the-top in their violence that I love them. For instance, this scene in Hard to Kill, when he annihilates a group of bad guys in a liquor store manned by Al Yankovic's Uncle Harvey. He destroys those guys and proceeds to snap a guy's ankle. youtube.com/ watch?v=dzL-4tudgPk [remove space] One of my favorite clips of mine is from Exit Wounds, when he takes out some guys trying to break into his truck. youtube.com/ watch?v=cyVMgCtlo5A [remove space] I finished The Glimmer Man today, and it's just as amazing. The following scene should be a reminder to buy a credit card with a razor blade attached to it, just in case you meet any Russians. youtube.com/ watch?v=ZK7pDWWEDC8 [remove space] Go rent a Steven Seagal movie ... you won't be disappointed! |
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Post by Lair of the Shadow MaDaBa on Aug 12, 2007 22:41:26 GMT -5
Have you ever tried Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt?
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Post by Rocky Van Heineken on Aug 12, 2007 22:42:25 GMT -5
I haven't seen it anywhere around here. Have you?
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erisi236
Fry's dog Seymour
... enjoys the rich, smooth taste of Camels.
Not good! Not good! Not good!
Posts: 21,904
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Post by erisi236 on Aug 12, 2007 22:43:09 GMT -5
heh, I actually watched Marked for Death like 4 times in a row on AMC the other day.  Take that Screwface! ;D |
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AFN: Judge Shred
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Wanted to change his doohicky.
Member of The Bluetista Buyers Club
Posts: 18,221
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Post by AFN: Judge Shred on Aug 12, 2007 22:43:28 GMT -5
We bought some of that for a church youth group. No one liked it.
I love the name "Asian Experience", so much so we made sure our Korean pal saw it for a laugh.
Then we came up with other drink names that were borderline if not flat out racist.
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Post by humanoid on Aug 12, 2007 22:45:06 GMT -5
There may or may not be video evidence of humanoid remaking Hard to Kill.
Rajah.com
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Post by Rocky Van Heineken on Aug 12, 2007 22:47:20 GMT -5
My all-time favorite Seagal line is:
"That's for my wife, now ---- you and die!"
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Ace Diamond
Patti Mayonnaise
Believes in Adrian Veidt, as Should We All.
mmm...flavor text
Posts: 36,043
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Post by Ace Diamond on Aug 12, 2007 22:51:37 GMT -5
I also like watching Seagal's movies for the rediculousness of the fights (like that one in Submerged where he kicks the secondary villain through a plate-glass window and somehow gets him to impale himself on the dead primary villian's cane), while tearing into everything else that's wrong about it, or just other MST3K-esque jokes.
For example, there's this one gunfight in Today You Die that doesn't even involve Seagal. Rather it involves two warring street gangs (i think, the plot wasn't very coherent), one of which is led by Seagal's compatriot "Ice Cool". Anyways this incidence of black on black crime winds down towards the end when suddenly a preppy-looking white guy with a baseball jersey on runs across the room spraying an Uzi.
So in full on JR mode I shouted out at the screen "WAIT A MINUTE KANG, THAT'S SHANE O'MAC! WHAT'S HE DOING HERE?"
of course "Shane" got gunned down about a half second later but it was still funny.
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Post by Cibernético II on Aug 12, 2007 22:54:11 GMT -5
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Post by Rocky Van Heineken on Aug 13, 2007 0:58:53 GMT -5
youtube.com/ watch?v=wmo21wCtbhw Watch Above the Law in four minutes.
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Post by That Loser Guy on Aug 13, 2007 0:59:43 GMT -5
Steven Seagal > Chuck Norris
That is all.
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Triple Kelly
Vegeta
Not once, twice, but three times a Kelly
Posts: 9,470
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Post by Triple Kelly on Aug 13, 2007 1:02:41 GMT -5
I love Will Sasso as Steven Segal. For some reason, I see him as Segal and I'm gone. Falling off the couch in fits of hysterical laughter.
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Post by Insomniac on Aug 13, 2007 1:03:19 GMT -5
Steven Seagal > Chuck Norris That is all. I should roundhouse you for saying that... I went through a phase a couple years ago where me and my buddies would watch Chuck Norris movies and have Chuck Norris Drinking Games. I figure the same thing could be done with Seagal movies and it would be just as fun. |
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Ace Diamond
Patti Mayonnaise
Believes in Adrian Veidt, as Should We All.
mmm...flavor text
Posts: 36,043
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Post by Ace Diamond on Aug 13, 2007 1:07:48 GMT -5
I love Will Sasso as Steven Segal. For some reason, I see him as Segal and I'm gone. Falling off the couch in fits of hysterical laughter. The sketch they did with Seagal on the Tonight Show was hilarious. |
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Triple Kelly
Vegeta
Not once, twice, but three times a Kelly
Posts: 9,470
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Post by Triple Kelly on Aug 13, 2007 1:16:21 GMT -5
I love Will Sasso as Steven Segal. For some reason, I see him as Segal and I'm gone. Falling off the couch in fits of hysterical laughter. The sketch they did with Seagal on the Tonight Show was hilarious. I like the one with the letterboxing of the screen so there's about 30 things going on on both sides of the screen while he's breaking necks. |
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Post by chibidiablo on Aug 13, 2007 2:26:04 GMT -5
I loved his wife in Wierd Science
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Post by Paul Servo on Aug 13, 2007 5:21:31 GMT -5
ok, not to sound like I am starting anything but you thoght GLIMMER MAN was "amazing?"
I know in movies we are supposed to have some suspension of disbelief but the apartment blows up and all that survives is the pocket planner in the middle of a burnt coffee table in the middle of the apartment (everything else on it is destroyed) that had the address of the prime suspect and a reciept for the running "joke" of (some sort of animal) penis.
I'll take old school John Woo movies for over the top violence. Final shoot out in THE KILLER was simply, "lets just send more people in so we can have a higher body count. 900 dead bodies just isn't enough"
But to each his own
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Post by 'Foretold' Joker on Aug 13, 2007 5:23:07 GMT -5
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Jiren
Patti Mayonnaise
Hearts Bayformers
Posts: 35,163
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Post by Jiren on Aug 13, 2007 6:17:58 GMT -5
I like his Theatrical movies like Under Siege etc
But his DTV movies, Not so much
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Post by Superstar SBL on Aug 13, 2007 6:29:58 GMT -5
'On Deadly Ground' still in my opinion is one of the funniest movies ever made.
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