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Post by They Adam Bradley on Sept 3, 2007 23:32:04 GMT -5
Not to get all corny and sappy on you fellows crappers but Im kind of going thru a hard time in my life right now. There is this girl that for basically 1 year we were best friends. Talked all the time, hung out all the time, basically she was my sister and she meant the world to me...She was having bad heart problems around this time and I was proud to be the person she turned to, and be the person who was there for her! She had major heart surgrery and I beleive that is one reason we got so close was because we went thru that TOGETHER..
Anyways about 4 months ago her and her boyfriend got engaged. Now he is a GREAT guy but when I heard this it just broke my heart. See because of this heart problems she had to miss her senior year of high school, so she has to take her senior year again this year. Well She had all these plans of college and going to Indiana University and when i heard she was engaged and planning on getting married 2 WEEKS after he graduation it broke my heart because I know she wouldnt be able to go to college.
Well what really tore me up was in May when she told me they were engaged she told me she could never talk to me again. She said she couldnt have a best friend who was a guy and talk to that person more than her finacee. So instead of not talking as much of kinda slowly getting away from each other she said she could never talk to me again!
So she stuck to her word, for the whole summer I never gave up hope. I would call her on ocassion and when I saw her in town I would wave and everything but she would alwyas get mad at me for doing that, After 3 months of that way I finally gave up on us being "family" again...
Well last week I found out shes pregnant.. which means she had to drop out of school again! So basically shes not going to finish high school, get married right out of high school and have a baby........ It kills me to see this happen to her. Shes so happy and excited for everything but in my opinoin this will jsut ruin her life, and me being so close to her after all this it just kills me!
So basically thats my story and i still deal with it everyday. I hate that we ant be friends cause I know she still has heart problems and everyday I think of her. Im afraid shes ruining her life and wont fullfil her dreams.
Basically I ask, has anyone ever really loved someone? I mean not the whole i want sex/teenage thing, but truely have so much love and emotion for someone that youd do anything they want..
thats my problem right now.. I know we will never be friends and I know she made that clear.. but I still hurt because it was out of nowhere and its like she wants me to hate her and not worry for her but no matter how shitty she is to me... I will always love her like my sister....
thats the basics of my story... anyone have anything similar or have felt what I feel for this girl.. its more than boyfriend girlfriend kinda thing.. its like shes my family and has a place in my heart.
AHH give me a movie of the week deal with this story..lol
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Post by Brandon Walsh is Insane. on Sept 3, 2007 23:38:17 GMT -5
To really love a woman To understand her You gotta know her deep inside Hear every thought See every dream And give her wings when she wants to fly And when you find yourself Lying helpless in her arms You know you really love a woman. Man... sorry for your loss. But to be honest and blunt, sounds like she used you to get through her problems, and she didn't feel for you as you feel for her. You have to move on, and just let it be. You cannot control what she's going to do with her life, and one day she'll realize just what she's done. But that's on her. Sorry man, just the way life works. Take a deep breathe, and move on. She already has.  |
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Post by They Adam Bradley on Sept 3, 2007 23:45:21 GMT -5
thats what Ive done...I mean there is some more twists involved and in a way I can understand her way of thinking a bit, but I will never understand How if you love someone and they are like your brother how you can just never talk to them again...
To this day I think she had feelings for me and She was scared because when she got engaged she felt we couldnt talk anymore... Shes not like another gf though, thats why its harder... girls come and go in life but family is always there..
So in a way its like im having my sister say I can never talk to u again...plus i worry about her heart and everything else... I have given up being her friends and I dont think I could ever be as close to her as we once we she ruined that, but I will never stop caring for her and all that..... i think thats what im getting at... thats real Love right there and I wonder if anyone else has experianced it
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Post by Dangery Scubba on Sept 3, 2007 23:46:56 GMT -5
Hate to hear all that, man. It sucks, and I agree with meat on this one. It does sound like she used you but hopefully, you can move on. One day she may see you in a paper, movie, or hear you on the radio and think back and regret all that happened. Good luck and Godspeed, bro.
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Post by Brandon Walsh is Insane. on Sept 3, 2007 23:47:55 GMT -5
Yeah, people experience it every day.
But in the end, there is nothing you can do about it.
I'm not saying to stop caring; but you have to respect her wishes.
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Post by They Adam Bradley on Sept 3, 2007 23:50:12 GMT -5
thats what ive learned basically, there comes a point when you give up on ever being close to that person again and you have to live your life and let them live theirs.........
It would be so much easier if it was just a gf and not someone to close to me like her........Her bday was Saturday and me being the nice guy iam, even though we havent talked in like 2 months... I sent her a called and left her a vmail telling her I wish her nothing but the best and I know her life will be perfect...
ahhh sometimes u gotta lie....damn i hate having such a huge heart!
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Post by Dangery Scubba on Sept 3, 2007 23:51:13 GMT -5
Exactly. And while you're talking about it, do something to boost your spirits and the hurt'll numb and eventually, you won't be bothered by it.
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Post by twiggy101 on Sept 3, 2007 23:53:05 GMT -5
Not only is the girl you love as a sister getting married but wants to cease being friends with you? She feels that no man should be with her more than her husband and doesn't even want to wave? That is rough. I don't think they should cease just like that, even if they are opposite sexes. That is sad, especially with the direction she is going and her condition.
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Post by They Adam Bradley on Sept 4, 2007 0:08:10 GMT -5
yeah...thats what gets me... it would be easier if it was a break up. I mean for 6 months before her operation, I was the one there for her. Her boyfriend didnt know how to react to it so he basically couldnt help her. She would call me and come see me and I would spend hours talking to her, I would be the one telling her shed be ok... There was ALOT of attachment we had and our friendship went through alot. Most people dont have to deal with all this when it omes to a relationship let alone just a friendship.
I guess I could understand us not talking as much or talking everynigth since she got engaged, I mean if i was her boyfriend I wouldnt like her talking to another guy more than me, so I see her point, but there was no reason for her to just say we can never talk again.
And about the waving thing, thats how it is dude! I will see her and jsut wave and she acts like she doesnt see me. Its like she cant even ackonwledge that I exist..... Its just hard on me... I have moved on and realised we arent friends anymore, but I always worry about her and espically with having a baby with her heart problems.... I got all these emotions and everything just pulls at my heart and my mind.....
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Post by Loki on Sept 4, 2007 7:55:15 GMT -5
Wow...
she's an ungrateful, self-centered bitch. Sorry if it sounds too harsh, but c'mon!
When she needed a friend by her side, to help her through a hard part of her life, it wasn't a problem she had a boyfriend AND a close friend like you.
Now she's doing better, you've suddenly become "one too many".
I feel for you, pal, I'm experiencing a similar issue with "unwanted but necessary farewell" and I swear it's just plain horrible.
I wish I'd tell you everyting will get better tomorrow, but I can't.
The only thing that can cheer you up is knowing you've done EVERYTHING you could to keep the friendship going, actually you even went out of your way.
She's acting like a ME-ME-ME stuck-up princess, so screw her! She'll come to regret "dumping" you one day.
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Post by rzombie1988 on Sept 4, 2007 8:01:56 GMT -5
That really sucks man. You basically got used. You don't want her man, or even want to be friends with her. Don't worry about her either, because this is where everything evens up.
She's going to have this kid, then once she does, everythings going to change, and chances are she's going to be stuck on her own when the bf realizes it was a mistake. He's going to leave her, and she's going to need you. Then you can stick all of this right back in her face. When she tries to come to you, you can just say you don't exist, and shove all this stuff about her pretending to not know you right back at her.
You did a good thing man, and she's going to get hers.
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Post by WarriorWarrior on Sept 4, 2007 8:22:59 GMT -5
She's an idiot. My best friend is a girl and she has a boyfriend and 2 kids. I'm mates with him too.
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Post by Dynamite Kid on Sept 4, 2007 8:53:53 GMT -5
I think you have to respect her wishes. I don't see why you know any better than her what she wants, needs or has to do. It's not really fair that just because you're male she's cutting you out, but it's her choice, not yours. Calling her and going up to her when she has explicitly said to leave you alone is not a wise move.
And the people saying she used you - I doubt that. Just because she's now married and isn't making necessarily the best choices as far as your friendship doesn't mean you never meant anything to her. Hell, maybe it's her husband who doesn't want her to see you. I'm willing to bet she misses you too.
Keep her in your prayers. And with any luck, the fact that you can't see her will give you some separation and help you eventually get over your love for her.
If this falls apart, and she ends up a single mum or anything, don't be a dick and say 'har har I knew it, you're on your own bitch.' You still care about this girl, after all. If the marriage ends, give a call to see if she's okay, NOT to try and get in there. If she still doesn't want to see you, respect her wishes once more.
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Post by They Adam Bradley on Sept 4, 2007 9:07:45 GMT -5
I agree with the above post, I really dont beleive she was useing me....I stilll beleive that she had feelings for me and she was scared because she loved her boyfriend and when he proposed it got much more serious...
I was stupid about some things to... for awhile I developed feelings for her and for about 2 months I acted like her boyfriend. I got jealous of other guys, I made it seem like we had to talk every single night..
Dont get me wrong I still dont say I deserved this because everytime I was out of line i apologized and I learned from it....Owelll its all in the past! time to move on
Like you said though, shes always in my prayers and I will always wish her well.. She really loves her boyfriend and hes a great guy! Its just not like her to be where she is right now in life, everyting thats hapening shes said she didnt want till shes was done with college and everything..... its like shes a whole new person
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Hiroshi Hase
Patti Mayonnaise
The Good Ol' Days
Posts: 30,755
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Post by Hiroshi Hase on Sept 4, 2007 9:37:12 GMT -5
I agree with the above post, I really dont beleive she was useing me....I stilll beleive that she had feelings for me and she was scared because she loved her boyfriend and when he proposed it got much more serious... I was stupid about some things to... for awhile I developed feelings for her and for about 2 months I acted like her boyfriend. I got jealous of other guys, I made it seem like we had to talk every single night.. Dont get me wrong I still dont say I deserved this because everytime I was out of line i apologized and I learned from it....Owelll its all in the past! time to move on Like you said though, shes always in my prayers and I will always wish her well.. She really loves her boyfriend and hes a great guy! Its just not like her to be where she is right now in life, everyting thats hapening shes said she didnt want till shes was done with college and everything..... its like shes a whole new person It's best not to dwell on this, as I don't think she is and you got to *Jay Briscoe Voice* MAN UP! and keep on moving as hard as it may be. And also making it seem like you have to talk every night is a big no-no, as she probably was feeling smothered by you and wanted to get away. |
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Johnny Danger (Godz)
Wade Wilson
loves him some cavity searches
Lord Xeen's going to kill you.
Posts: 27,736
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Post by Johnny Danger (Godz) on Sept 4, 2007 9:40:28 GMT -5
Can't have a guy for a best friend? Sounds like somebody's got some serious control issues. Sorry you've lost such an important friend. But hey, just be thankful that while she might screw up her own life, now she wont drag you down with her.
And when she no doubt comes crawling back to you in a few months/years, tell her to piss off.
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Post by They Adam Bradley on Sept 4, 2007 13:41:26 GMT -5
maybe but most of the time she was the one calling me, it was just an everyday expectance.. we talk for a few before we head to bed... But im moving on.. case closed!
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