TheDieselTrain
Fry's dog Seymour
Chicks Dig Hootie.
Is Stone Cold gonna have to smack a bitch?? WHAT!!!?????
Posts: 23,724
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Post by TheDieselTrain on Sept 11, 2007 10:36:35 GMT -5
Rocky V was great. That's all I'm saying. Yeah, how about Sage Stallone, eh? Come on knock that bum out he took my ROOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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rra
King Koopa
Posts: 10,145
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Post by rra on Sept 11, 2007 10:37:26 GMT -5
Yeah, how about Sage Stallone, eh? Come on knock that bum out he took my ROOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't blame the kid, since his old man spent his childhood doing ROCKY/RAMBO sequels instead of being with him. Damn.
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Post by Bob Schlapowitz on Sept 11, 2007 20:13:53 GMT -5
Wow, RRA, Can't wait to see how your opinions differ from mine on the rest of the series.
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rra
King Koopa
Posts: 10,145
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Post by rra on Sept 11, 2007 22:16:46 GMT -5
ROCKY IV (1985) - *1/2As meh and uninteresting of an action movie as ROCKY III is, at least it kept up with the previous ROCKY pictures in that each story had a progressive theme to that character's saga. In ROCKY, he wanted to prove to the world and himself that he is as good as the best. In the sequel, he wants to see if he is better, and in ROCKY III, he coasts until given a reason to be hungry again for the belt...even if he did whine like a little girl about it. From chump to contender to champ to champ again. Hell, even the failure that is ROCKY V and the good ROCKY BALBOA, both present themes to explore in regards to the title character. On that, I give ROCKY V (but little else). But damn, ROCKY IV....what was the theme for the character? It re-uses the in-ring revenge nonsense of ROCKY III but amped up with steroids*, with less reasoning, by bringing in the Cold War angle, which ends up being incredibly egotistical and full of hubris this side of Hulk Hogan. I mean, at least ROCKY III didn't try to make a direct connection between Clubber Lang killing Mickey. The latter was just an old bastard, and of sorts Rocky wanted to prove that he could win the belt back without his mentor. Hell, thats a good idea that Stallone didn't bother with for ROCKY III. A pity. But with ROCKY IV, Ivan Drago kills Apollo Creed in the ring, and Rocky wants revenge. Why bother with a formal match full of rules and crap? Why not simply a street brawl where Rocky bashes Ivan's head in if Stallone was to use this direct revenge goofyness? So Rocky wins a match, and Creed is still dead, and revenge is served? Whatever. But its the Cold War politics thats hilarious. Why would the black Apollo Creed want to fight for America against the Russian monster? Before you counter-argue, let me ask you this: Would an Irishman pay sweat & blood for the Union Jack? Exactly. Hell, remember the first ROCKY picture? Apollo exploited the patriotism angle for commercial reasons. I'm sure he's lying to Rocky so he can get more Porsches. Speaking of which, I think its funny how Creed's over-the-top entrance lasts longer than his ass does in the ring against Drago. When I laughed at a downbeat moment like Creed's skull being punched in, I knew this movie is a loser. Besides, with Drago's calculated punch-strength, he should have easily knocked Rocky's head off. I know Balboa is a tough bastard and all, but come on. Oh wait, but what about my favorite? The ending. Yes, The Russian masses go from rooting for Drago to the American Rocky. Huh Huh. Rocky wins, and the crowd cheers. Huh Huh. Rocky then makes a speech of how everyone can change, the crowd cheers. Huh Huh. Then the Politburo, and the Soviet dictator, applauds Rocky. Where is those WWE crowds when you need them? what? What? WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?! My fellow Americans, would you cheer for a Russian, much less any foreign fighter that beats the hell out of an American boxer at Madison Square Garden? HELL NO WE WOULDN'T. Would President Bush stand up and applaud him? Of course, this was when Stallone was at the height of his global mega-stardom in Hollywood, and at the worst of his megloegomania, and with ROCKY IV, he shows it. It gives me flashbacks to NO HOLDS BARRED where Hogan presents himself as both loyal and friendly to his co-workers and promotion. But there are other problems that makes me despise ROCKY IV very much. After ROCKY III, Stallone made the first of his many promises of no more sequels....until he saw the profit-margins that the second, and very cartoonish, RAMBO movie made and Sly figured: Why not bring Patriotic Beefcake success to the Rocky franchise? Thats why there is no real story or even theme to ROCKY IV. It was a cash-in that paid off insanely well for everyone. Then there is the continuity problem. While ROCKY III is supposed to be set in 1979, lets just argue for the sake of it that it took place real time in 1982, with that film ending when Balboa/Creed have that improvtu rematch. Rocky comes home, and his kid has grown up by many years. But, ROCKY V takes the cake...... *=Like those that Sly was carrying when busted by cops at an Australian airport.
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rra
King Koopa
Posts: 10,145
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Post by rra on Sept 11, 2007 22:20:50 GMT -5
BTW, whats up with Paulie molesting a robot? Dirty Old Man.....
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Post by Bob Schlapowitz on Sept 11, 2007 22:21:54 GMT -5
You phrased it a lot more harshly than I did, but I pretty much 100% agree. The soundtrack is killer though!
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rra
King Koopa
Posts: 10,145
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Post by rra on Sept 11, 2007 22:44:39 GMT -5
You phrased it a lot more harshly than I did, but I pretty much 100% agree. The soundtrack is killer though! I guess, though its not as mockable (sadly) as EYE OF THE TIGER*. Anyway, I once had this idea of how ROCKY IV maybe could have been better, but I doubt it. I had this concept that after Creed got killed, Rocky is fueling on revenge and was planning, if possible, to kill Drago in the ring. I mean why not? Drago seemed like a monster who enjoys pain & suffering of others, right? So Rocky is in Russia to train, and he comes upon this Russkie old timer, which Paulie thinks is a spy for the KGB that's giving reports on Rocky's training. I mean, right? Rocky is fustrated that with the shabby grounds and equipment given by the Soviets, until he meets upon the Russkie by accident, and learns he isn't a spy at all. Hell, this Russkie has been trying to meet Rocky for a good while. Years ago, he was the best boxing trainer in all of the Soviet Union, and produced many great boxers that won Bronze/Silver Olympic medals, but never a Gold medalist. His best prodigy was Drago, who was at that time a decent, humbled patriotic boy, almost the Russian equivalent of Rocky. But because the Soviet state wanted this one to be their propaganda world boxing monster, they took him away from the trainer. Like East Germany did to its athletes, the Soviets pumped Drago full of drugs, HGH, steroids, and beat him down to that he became the "right" sort of patriot: Doing whatever the state told him to do. Drago's so-called "marriage" to Stallone's then-wife is more for convenience & propaganda, thus explaining why these two never share any intimate moments in the film. So the old timer begs Rocky to not kill Drago out of revenge, but since his Drago is "dead in soul," he still wants Rocky to beat Drago, to make a point that no matter how many drugs or needles, a champion is only made from heart and muscle. Rocky and Duke complain about the lack of equipment and proper training stuff, and the old timer laughs at them. "We Russians were always "backwards peasants" but you know what? We destroyed the so-called genius Napoleon. We turned back the monster-army of darkness under Hitler, and if you Americans ever invaded us, we would still beat your more advanced weapons." So the old-timer trains Rocky in the "Russian boxing" method....and its the same brute power training that Rocky does from hauling a sled to climbing a mountain, and other insane s***. In the finale fight, I like the idea that in seeing his old mentor in Rocky's corner, and after Rocky starts to kick his ass, that despite the drugs and brutality thrown at him, the old Drago is still inside of him. It would have made that moment when he punches out asshole trainer of his even more powerful....and ultimately, while Drago lost, his humanity could perhaps return. Absolutely cheesy, but for a ROCKY movie, it would have worked. *=Listen to Weird Al's "Rye or the Kaiser" parody sometime. Awesome.
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Post by Bob Schlapowitz on Sept 11, 2007 22:46:41 GMT -5
That would probably have been better than what we got!
And Weird Al's "Theme From Rocky XIII" is one of my favorites of his.
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rra
King Koopa
Posts: 10,145
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Post by rra on Sept 11, 2007 22:53:20 GMT -5
That would probably have been better than what we got! And Weird Al's "Theme From Rocky XIII" is one of my favorites of his. Thanks! Thing is, Stallone has good ideas or at least introduces good ideas/themes in all his scripts that can work, its just he's goddamn lazy. We will see how that fact bites him in the ass with ROCKY V...
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Post by Bob Schlapowitz on Sept 13, 2007 20:25:00 GMT -5
No Rocky V or Balboa reviews, rra?
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rra
King Koopa
Posts: 10,145
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Post by rra on Sept 13, 2007 20:34:29 GMT -5
No Rocky V or Balboa reviews, rra? They're coming, but like your SHOOT EM UP/YUMA review, things came up....with me, I've had to deal with some school work. The last two ROCKY reviews will be posted this weekend. Then again, I don't want ROCKY V ended up being the most lengthy hate letter ever.
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Jiren
Patti Mayonnaise
Hearts Bayformers
Posts: 35,163
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Post by Jiren on Sept 13, 2007 20:36:20 GMT -5
I didn't mind Rocky 5 to be honest
It was the worst in the series but i found it watchable
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Post by Bob Schlapowitz on Sept 13, 2007 20:39:46 GMT -5
No Rocky V or Balboa reviews, rra? They're coming, but like your SHOOT EM UP/YUMA review, things came up....with me, I've had to deal with some school work. Totally undertsood, an all apologies.
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rra
King Koopa
Posts: 10,145
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Post by rra on Sept 13, 2007 20:41:49 GMT -5
They're coming, but like your SHOOT EM UP/YUMA review, things came up....with me, I've had to deal with some school work. Totally undertsood, an all apologies. No apologies needed at all, mate. Its just, we have lives outside of the awesomeness* of The Crap...... *=And before you start, I'm not trying to kiss ass into a Moderator job. I would suck c*** though....
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rra
King Koopa
Posts: 10,145
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Post by rra on Sept 13, 2007 20:43:20 GMT -5
I didn't mind Rocky 5 to be honest It was the worst in the series but i found it watchable I'll explain how it not only fails, but even at everything the movie offers or attempts at. I mean, as retarded and lazy-written and cheap patriotic-manipulative picture that ROCKY IV was, at least it delivered in "action" for a picture shot as an action picture. But imagine an action picture, but shot without the action, and by the time ROCKY V tries to pull some action out of its worthless ass, its both too late, and flat.
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Post by Bob Schlapowitz on Sept 13, 2007 20:43:24 GMT -5
Totally undertsood, an all apologies. No apologies needed at all, mate. Its just, we have lives outside of the awesomeness* of The Crap...... *=And before you start, I'm not trying to kiss ass into a Moderator job. I would suck c*** though.... And reality interferes with our happy little world here at the Crap. don't I know it, man! Hope everything works out all right.
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rra
King Koopa
Posts: 10,145
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Post by rra on Sept 13, 2007 20:44:57 GMT -5
No apologies needed at all, mate. Its just, we have lives outside of the awesomeness* of The Crap...... *=And before you start, I'm not trying to kiss ass into a Moderator job. I would suck c*** though.... And reality interferes with our happy little world here at the Crap. don't I know it, man! Hope everything works out all right. Oh I'll be fine, its just homework. Nothing major.
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Jiren
Patti Mayonnaise
Hearts Bayformers
Posts: 35,163
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Post by Jiren on Sept 13, 2007 20:45:17 GMT -5
I didn't mind Rocky 5 to be honest It was the worst in the series but i found it watchable I'll explain how it not only fails, but even at everything the movie offers or attempts at. I mean, as retarded and lazy-written and cheap patriotic-manipulative picture that ROCKY IV was, at least it delivered in "action" for a picture shot as an action picture. But imagine an action picture, but shot without the action, and by the time ROCKY V tries to pull some action out of its worthless ass, its both too late, and flat. I think it's a crappy movie But i just find it watchable. What makes me laugh is in Rocky IV his son looks about 7, in 5 he looks about 15
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rra
King Koopa
Posts: 10,145
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Post by rra on Sept 13, 2007 20:46:18 GMT -5
I'll explain how it not only fails, but even at everything the movie offers or attempts at. I mean, as retarded and lazy-written and cheap patriotic-manipulative picture that ROCKY IV was, at least it delivered in "action" for a picture shot as an action picture. But imagine an action picture, but shot without the action, and by the time ROCKY V tries to pull some action out of its worthless ass, its both too late, and flat. I think it's a crappy movie But i just find it watchable. What makes me laugh is in Rocky IV his son looks about 7, in 5 he looks about 15 Which I'll point out in my review.....I mean, was that kid taking Stallone's steroids or something?
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Post by Bob Schlapowitz on Sept 13, 2007 20:48:20 GMT -5
I think it's a crappy movie But i just find it watchable. What makes me laugh is in Rocky IV his son looks about 7, in 5 he looks about 15 Which I'll point out in my review.....I mean, was that kid taking Stallone's steroids or something? I mentioned the kid's sudden growth spurt in my review. And the "Rocky's broke" aspect of the story makes absolutely no sense.
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