Post by Phosphor Glow on Dec 9, 2007 2:13:09 GMT -5
Okay, so I've never really done one of these ranty posts before, 'cause I've just never really felt the need, most things have worked themselves out or I've at least gotten to feeling better...but this past month or so has just been completely awful.
This whole year I've been pretty much single...and I'm just not good at that. I prefer having a significant other, whether it's a boy or a girl. I've dated three times this year...but the first was so off-and-on that it doesn't really count, and the other two were three days, and then 2 hours...so yeah. You can imagine what a blow it is to my self-esteem when everyone seems to want to go out with me and then decides that they're "not sure what they want" not very long after. It hurts, a lot, and I'm not that self-confident to begin with. I'm desperately lonely and no one seems to wanna be with me. At least not anybody around here.
Then, we've got the fact that I hate living at my grandparents' house...because we just don't get along very well. Earlier this year I FINALLY moved out, and moved in with my best friend and her parents until we could find a place of our own. Unfortunately a month later her dad decided that I shouldn't stay there anymore...so I was kicked out. Now I am back at my grandparents'...and I feel terrible here, as usual. We just don't get along and they don't really like who I am, and we have completely different sleep/work schedules so I'm always up late, and I eat dinner late, while they're asleep and it wakes them up, and I don't often have time to do laundry because I can't do it while they're asleep, and all manner of other things...it's just not good.
Unfortunately, as desperately as I wanna get out of here my best friend does not make anywhere near enough money to cover even like, a 3rd of the rent. So moving out with her is not currently an option...and I don't have enough money to move out on my own. Not to mention there are VERY few openings here. People keep telling me to go to the city but I don't know anyone in big cities, and it's WAY more expensive there than it is here.
So right now I'm pretty much searching for someone to get a place with, someone I know fairly well that I could get along with and can help quite a bit with the rent and bills and stuff...and it's harder than you'd think it is. I think I may have found someone...but still, I'm just tired of fighting with my grandparents. It's a daily sort of thing, and it's gotten even worse since I've moved back. Not to mention getting kicked out ups the already present sense of being completely unwanted.
So yeah...there's my rant. I'm really lonely and I'm stuck in a place I don't want to be with little option to go elsewhere, unless i wanted to live in my car...and quite frankly I really would rather not.
So if this seems whiny or whatever, fine. I just had to let some stuff out and I feel at home enough on the Crap to do so.
Sorry if this was a downer.
This whole year I've been pretty much single...and I'm just not good at that. I prefer having a significant other, whether it's a boy or a girl. I've dated three times this year...but the first was so off-and-on that it doesn't really count, and the other two were three days, and then 2 hours...so yeah. You can imagine what a blow it is to my self-esteem when everyone seems to want to go out with me and then decides that they're "not sure what they want" not very long after. It hurts, a lot, and I'm not that self-confident to begin with. I'm desperately lonely and no one seems to wanna be with me. At least not anybody around here.
Then, we've got the fact that I hate living at my grandparents' house...because we just don't get along very well. Earlier this year I FINALLY moved out, and moved in with my best friend and her parents until we could find a place of our own. Unfortunately a month later her dad decided that I shouldn't stay there anymore...so I was kicked out. Now I am back at my grandparents'...and I feel terrible here, as usual. We just don't get along and they don't really like who I am, and we have completely different sleep/work schedules so I'm always up late, and I eat dinner late, while they're asleep and it wakes them up, and I don't often have time to do laundry because I can't do it while they're asleep, and all manner of other things...it's just not good.
Unfortunately, as desperately as I wanna get out of here my best friend does not make anywhere near enough money to cover even like, a 3rd of the rent. So moving out with her is not currently an option...and I don't have enough money to move out on my own. Not to mention there are VERY few openings here. People keep telling me to go to the city but I don't know anyone in big cities, and it's WAY more expensive there than it is here.
So right now I'm pretty much searching for someone to get a place with, someone I know fairly well that I could get along with and can help quite a bit with the rent and bills and stuff...and it's harder than you'd think it is. I think I may have found someone...but still, I'm just tired of fighting with my grandparents. It's a daily sort of thing, and it's gotten even worse since I've moved back. Not to mention getting kicked out ups the already present sense of being completely unwanted.
So yeah...there's my rant. I'm really lonely and I'm stuck in a place I don't want to be with little option to go elsewhere, unless i wanted to live in my car...and quite frankly I really would rather not.
So if this seems whiny or whatever, fine. I just had to let some stuff out and I feel at home enough on the Crap to do so.
Sorry if this was a downer.