Post by angryfan on Feb 24, 2007 0:38:19 GMT -5
Been ponding how to work this one up, so here it is. Hope you guys like it. As always, any suggestions, please let me know.
(Scene opens with the gang sitting on the front porch, as a large white Hummer pulls to a stop in front of the house)
HHH: What the hell is that?
Flair: Wooooooooo!
HHH: What do you mean it looks familiar?
(the doors and rear hatch on the vehicle pop open, and Hogan, and Nash step out of the car)
Hogan: We’re in da house, dude!
Mark Copani: (popping out of the sun roof with a microphone, begins to sing) I am a reeeeeeal Ameeeeerican!
HHH: (glaring) Shut up Hassan!
Copani: My name’s Mark, and I’m Italian, you jackass!
HHH: Really?
Copani: Yeah, really!
HHH: So why are you here again?
Copani: It was either this or (quietly) hosting a Saved By The Bell: The College Years reunion special. (he sinks back into the car)
Hogan: Why are you even bothering with that no talent, brother? I’m standing on your lawn, dude!
HHH: (looking at Steph) Can I please use the fire hose? Just once?
Steph: No.
HHH: (sighing) Fine. What do you want, Hogan?
Nash: I’ll tell you what we want, big man. We want to let you know (he steps forward and collapses) Oh, God!
Flair: Wooooooo?
Nash: Fine, I’m fine, it’s just my quad again. Darn thing just keeps going out on me. Gimme a minute.
(Flair helps Nash to the porch, and he flops into a seat)
Hogan: Hello! Over here, dude!
HHH: You’re still here?
Hogan: I have a very important announcement, and wanted you to know.
HHH: So, tell me, then.
Flair: (to HHH) Wooooooooooooo!
Hogan: No, dude, Linda is NOT releasing a CD. That’s just crazy
Holographic Ed Leslie: (appearing beside Hogan) Dude, Hulkster, look what I found! (he holds out a baggie) This has to be some good stuff, right?
Hogan: (examining the baggie) Brother, that’s sand, dude.
Leslie: Sand?
Hogan: Yeah, dude, sand.
Leslie: That BASTARD!
Nash: (leaning forward in his chair) What’s the – OW! (he grabs his other quad) Problem?
Leslie: I’ll tell you what the problem is! I just spent 500 bucks on this crap, because the guy that played Uncle Charlie on My Three Sons said it was primo! Primo, my ass!
Hogan: Brother, uh, isn’t he dead, dude?
Leslie: Well, I don’t know, I mean…hey, wait a minute!
Flair: Wooooooooooo!
Leslie: What do you mean where’d I get the money? I’ll have you know –
Hogan: Dude, hang on a minute there, brother, he’s right. Where did you get the money, dude?
Leslie: Well, it’s a long story, see –
Hogan: (checking his wallet) Hey, wait a minute now, dude!
Leslie: Gotta run! (he disappears).
Nash: (regaining his composure) Anyway, we stopped by to let you guys know about a little business venture.
Steph: (perking up) Business venture, you say?
Nash: Why yes. I was talking with my esteemed colleagues, as well as consulting with J.P. Morgan, and we devised a plan that seems quite reasonable.
HHH: J.P. Morgan is dead, has been for a long time.
Nash: OK, fine, so it was Scott Hall in an Under Dog costume, but really, what’s the difference?
HHH: Good point. Go on.
Nash: As I was saying, myself and the esteemed Mister Hogan (he points, and immediately screams in pain)
Steph: Are you alright?
Nash: Fine, I’m fine, it will pass.
HHH: What the hell just happened?
Nash: Quad, but only a minor rupture. I’ll be ok.
Steph: Um, Kevin? How do you injure your quad while pointing?
Nash: Talent, sweetheart, the kind of talent that sold out the Tokyo Dome for my three hour amateur wrestling classic against Mil Mascaras in 1972.
Steph: Wouldn’t you have been 13?
Nash: I was a fast learner.
Hogan: (becoming aggravated) Hey, Flair, come over here, brother.
Flair: (not moving) Woooooooooo!
Hogan: Because, Kev there is hogging the spotlight. I figure if you let me hit the big boot, it’ll draw huge, dude.
Flair: (begins to stand, then sits back down) Wooooo!
Hogan: Fine, dude, I’ll just have to think of something else, brother!
Steph: So, Kevin, are you going to tell me what this big proposal is? I’m intriqued.
Nash: Give it time to build.
Steph: Build?
Nash: Yes, build. (he reaches over to rest his arm on the railing, knocking Sledgie off balance and into him) Oh, GOD!
HHH: Quad again?
Nash: (grimacing in pain) Both of them this time! Top it off, I think my lumbago is acting up.
Steph: When exactly did you come down with lumbago?
Nash: Long time ago, was wrestling Jimmy Garvin at Yankee Stadium, 82,000 people, and I landed wrong on my shoulder.
HHH: And how does this cause lumbago?
Nash: Like I said, talent.
Hogan: (seeing his opening) Our business plan is a simple one, dudes!
HHH: (looking over) You’re still here?
Hogan: Yes I’m still here, brother, now do you want to hear our plan, or not, dude?
Steph: I’m al ears.
Hogan: We’re starting a wrestling company, create some healthy competition in the marketplace.
Steph: A wre - , wres - (to HHH) Hunter, what’s the word he used?
HHH: Wrestling, honey. It’s what I do for a living, remember?
Steph: But that’s just silly, you’re in the sports entertainment field. Wrestling, that’s just a funny word. That’s what they do in the Olympics, right?
HHH: Steph, what I’m saying is, what we do, with the ring, and the matches, that’s called a wrestling match.
Steph: Ring? Oh, you mean the square thingie, where you guys go between the skits?
HHH: (sighing) Yes, that.
Steph: I always figured that was like a break room.
HHH: (sighing again) Anyway. So you’re starting a wrestling company, eh?
Hogan: Brother, that’s a fact, jack!
Mick Foley (popping out of a gopher hole) BANG BANG! (he disappears)
HHH: (trying to hide the laughter) So, this, this competition, who exactly do you have on board.
Hogan: We’ve got the cream of the crop, brother! We’ve got me, of course, with Big Kev backing me up. We’ll have Horace come in, since if I don’t bring him in my sister will yell at me again, dude.
HHH: (now openly giggling) That’s…that’s three, ok, so who else?
Hogan: Well, we’re trying to talk a few of the young guys from WCW to come in and work for us, dude!
Steph: Wait…WCW, where have I heard that before?
HHH: (ignoring her) Who you bringing in?
Hogan: Well, we’re thinking that Van Hammer and Prince Iaukea would be a great fit. Plus, I’m sure we could get Savage to come in.
HHH: I thought you guys hated each other.
Hogan: We’ll be fine, I’m sure. I just wonder where he is right now.
(scene changes to Randy Savage, in full ring gear, supervising the construction of a mote around his garage)
Savage: Oooooooohhhhhhhh yeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh, dig it, dig it, DIG IT, yeaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!
(scene changes back)
HHH: So that’s it, you’re going to start a company with, at most, five guys?
Hogan: With my star power, what else do we need, brother?
HHH: Uh…you know, I think I’ll just let that one go.
Hogan: Well, we better get going, dude!
Nash: Yeah, we probably should get going. I need to talk to the silent financial backer. You may Have heard of him, William F. Buckley, Jr?
HHH; It’s really Scott Hall in costume again, isn’t it?
Nash: Yes, but this time, as Captain Caveman! (he begins to stand and collapses again) Oh, that one hurt!
Steph: Quad or lumbago?
Nash: Mild case of polio, it’s alright. And before you ask, it was Jimmy Garvin at the L.A. Bowl in ’78. (he begins slowly crawling to the car, catching up with Hogan, who is, for some reason, playing air violin)
HHH: How many people there, Kev?
Nash: 2.3 Billion, my friend, and all time record.
(As they get in the car, Nash turns to look back)
Nash: I almost forgot, there’s one other potential recruit we’re after.
HHH: Yeah, who?
Nash: Old buddy of yours, Alex Wright.
HHH: You mean the guy with the dancing and the way to small Speedo? He’s retired, man, and besides, what could you possibly bill him as?
Nash: Simple, old pal, he’s undefeated against you, isn’t he?
HHH: DAMN IT!
(Scene ends)
(Scene opens with the gang sitting on the front porch, as a large white Hummer pulls to a stop in front of the house)
HHH: What the hell is that?
Flair: Wooooooooo!
HHH: What do you mean it looks familiar?
(the doors and rear hatch on the vehicle pop open, and Hogan, and Nash step out of the car)
Hogan: We’re in da house, dude!
Mark Copani: (popping out of the sun roof with a microphone, begins to sing) I am a reeeeeeal Ameeeeerican!
HHH: (glaring) Shut up Hassan!
Copani: My name’s Mark, and I’m Italian, you jackass!
HHH: Really?
Copani: Yeah, really!
HHH: So why are you here again?
Copani: It was either this or (quietly) hosting a Saved By The Bell: The College Years reunion special. (he sinks back into the car)
Hogan: Why are you even bothering with that no talent, brother? I’m standing on your lawn, dude!
HHH: (looking at Steph) Can I please use the fire hose? Just once?
Steph: No.
HHH: (sighing) Fine. What do you want, Hogan?
Nash: I’ll tell you what we want, big man. We want to let you know (he steps forward and collapses) Oh, God!
Flair: Wooooooo?
Nash: Fine, I’m fine, it’s just my quad again. Darn thing just keeps going out on me. Gimme a minute.
(Flair helps Nash to the porch, and he flops into a seat)
Hogan: Hello! Over here, dude!
HHH: You’re still here?
Hogan: I have a very important announcement, and wanted you to know.
HHH: So, tell me, then.
Flair: (to HHH) Wooooooooooooo!
Hogan: No, dude, Linda is NOT releasing a CD. That’s just crazy
Holographic Ed Leslie: (appearing beside Hogan) Dude, Hulkster, look what I found! (he holds out a baggie) This has to be some good stuff, right?
Hogan: (examining the baggie) Brother, that’s sand, dude.
Leslie: Sand?
Hogan: Yeah, dude, sand.
Leslie: That BASTARD!
Nash: (leaning forward in his chair) What’s the – OW! (he grabs his other quad) Problem?
Leslie: I’ll tell you what the problem is! I just spent 500 bucks on this crap, because the guy that played Uncle Charlie on My Three Sons said it was primo! Primo, my ass!
Hogan: Brother, uh, isn’t he dead, dude?
Leslie: Well, I don’t know, I mean…hey, wait a minute!
Flair: Wooooooooooo!
Leslie: What do you mean where’d I get the money? I’ll have you know –
Hogan: Dude, hang on a minute there, brother, he’s right. Where did you get the money, dude?
Leslie: Well, it’s a long story, see –
Hogan: (checking his wallet) Hey, wait a minute now, dude!
Leslie: Gotta run! (he disappears).
Nash: (regaining his composure) Anyway, we stopped by to let you guys know about a little business venture.
Steph: (perking up) Business venture, you say?
Nash: Why yes. I was talking with my esteemed colleagues, as well as consulting with J.P. Morgan, and we devised a plan that seems quite reasonable.
HHH: J.P. Morgan is dead, has been for a long time.
Nash: OK, fine, so it was Scott Hall in an Under Dog costume, but really, what’s the difference?
HHH: Good point. Go on.
Nash: As I was saying, myself and the esteemed Mister Hogan (he points, and immediately screams in pain)
Steph: Are you alright?
Nash: Fine, I’m fine, it will pass.
HHH: What the hell just happened?
Nash: Quad, but only a minor rupture. I’ll be ok.
Steph: Um, Kevin? How do you injure your quad while pointing?
Nash: Talent, sweetheart, the kind of talent that sold out the Tokyo Dome for my three hour amateur wrestling classic against Mil Mascaras in 1972.
Steph: Wouldn’t you have been 13?
Nash: I was a fast learner.
Hogan: (becoming aggravated) Hey, Flair, come over here, brother.
Flair: (not moving) Woooooooooo!
Hogan: Because, Kev there is hogging the spotlight. I figure if you let me hit the big boot, it’ll draw huge, dude.
Flair: (begins to stand, then sits back down) Wooooo!
Hogan: Fine, dude, I’ll just have to think of something else, brother!
Steph: So, Kevin, are you going to tell me what this big proposal is? I’m intriqued.
Nash: Give it time to build.
Steph: Build?
Nash: Yes, build. (he reaches over to rest his arm on the railing, knocking Sledgie off balance and into him) Oh, GOD!
HHH: Quad again?
Nash: (grimacing in pain) Both of them this time! Top it off, I think my lumbago is acting up.
Steph: When exactly did you come down with lumbago?
Nash: Long time ago, was wrestling Jimmy Garvin at Yankee Stadium, 82,000 people, and I landed wrong on my shoulder.
HHH: And how does this cause lumbago?
Nash: Like I said, talent.
Hogan: (seeing his opening) Our business plan is a simple one, dudes!
HHH: (looking over) You’re still here?
Hogan: Yes I’m still here, brother, now do you want to hear our plan, or not, dude?
Steph: I’m al ears.
Hogan: We’re starting a wrestling company, create some healthy competition in the marketplace.
Steph: A wre - , wres - (to HHH) Hunter, what’s the word he used?
HHH: Wrestling, honey. It’s what I do for a living, remember?
Steph: But that’s just silly, you’re in the sports entertainment field. Wrestling, that’s just a funny word. That’s what they do in the Olympics, right?
HHH: Steph, what I’m saying is, what we do, with the ring, and the matches, that’s called a wrestling match.
Steph: Ring? Oh, you mean the square thingie, where you guys go between the skits?
HHH: (sighing) Yes, that.
Steph: I always figured that was like a break room.
HHH: (sighing again) Anyway. So you’re starting a wrestling company, eh?
Hogan: Brother, that’s a fact, jack!
Mick Foley (popping out of a gopher hole) BANG BANG! (he disappears)
HHH: (trying to hide the laughter) So, this, this competition, who exactly do you have on board.
Hogan: We’ve got the cream of the crop, brother! We’ve got me, of course, with Big Kev backing me up. We’ll have Horace come in, since if I don’t bring him in my sister will yell at me again, dude.
HHH: (now openly giggling) That’s…that’s three, ok, so who else?
Hogan: Well, we’re trying to talk a few of the young guys from WCW to come in and work for us, dude!
Steph: Wait…WCW, where have I heard that before?
HHH: (ignoring her) Who you bringing in?
Hogan: Well, we’re thinking that Van Hammer and Prince Iaukea would be a great fit. Plus, I’m sure we could get Savage to come in.
HHH: I thought you guys hated each other.
Hogan: We’ll be fine, I’m sure. I just wonder where he is right now.
(scene changes to Randy Savage, in full ring gear, supervising the construction of a mote around his garage)
Savage: Oooooooohhhhhhhh yeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh, dig it, dig it, DIG IT, yeaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!
(scene changes back)
HHH: So that’s it, you’re going to start a company with, at most, five guys?
Hogan: With my star power, what else do we need, brother?
HHH: Uh…you know, I think I’ll just let that one go.
Hogan: Well, we better get going, dude!
Nash: Yeah, we probably should get going. I need to talk to the silent financial backer. You may Have heard of him, William F. Buckley, Jr?
HHH; It’s really Scott Hall in costume again, isn’t it?
Nash: Yes, but this time, as Captain Caveman! (he begins to stand and collapses again) Oh, that one hurt!
Steph: Quad or lumbago?
Nash: Mild case of polio, it’s alright. And before you ask, it was Jimmy Garvin at the L.A. Bowl in ’78. (he begins slowly crawling to the car, catching up with Hogan, who is, for some reason, playing air violin)
HHH: How many people there, Kev?
Nash: 2.3 Billion, my friend, and all time record.
(As they get in the car, Nash turns to look back)
Nash: I almost forgot, there’s one other potential recruit we’re after.
HHH: Yeah, who?
Nash: Old buddy of yours, Alex Wright.
HHH: You mean the guy with the dancing and the way to small Speedo? He’s retired, man, and besides, what could you possibly bill him as?
Nash: Simple, old pal, he’s undefeated against you, isn’t he?
HHH: DAMN IT!
(Scene ends)
helped $lim jinx NXT. Woops
