NEWZ Sites: PWNED!

[Gillberg: 0-175]

Bikini Model & Indy Wrestlers Not Signed To WWE
03/19/2007 by Ryan Clark

It was reported over the weekend that WWE had signed a bikini model by the name of Christine LeMaster to a contract. As it turns out, that is not true. On her MySpace page, myspace.com/christinelemaster, LeMaster denies the reports. However, she said she was offered a WWE developmental contract, but she rejected it. Here is her message:

Regarding the WWE contract.....

Hey guys, first of all thank you so much for the kind words of encouragement and congratulations! I guess a few websites have been reporting that I have recently signed a development contract with WWE...unfortunately that is not the case. It is true that I have been offered a developmental contract, but at this time I have decided not to sign with WWE. I hate to dissapoint, but it does not appear to be in my best interests personally and professionally with my current situation.

Everybody at WWE has been absolutely wonderful and the organization as a whole is an amazing company which has done nothing but treat me with respect and professionalism. I hope to continue to work with WWE and keep an ongoing relationship with them for the future.....you never know what the future may hold though so stay tuned to WWE!

In the mean time keep your eye out for my March layout in BTM magazine, various ads throughout the country, and upcoming 2008 & 2009 calendars!

Thanks again for your love & support!

~ Christine

It was also reported over the weekend that WWE had signed five wrestlers from the Massachusetts-based Chaotic Wrestling indy promotion to developmental contracts. That is not true either. Jamie Jamitkowski, the CEO of Chaotic Wrestling made the following statement:

"Contrary to various internet reports this weekend, no Chaotic Wrestlers have been signed by World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) this week. In the past, a number of Chaotic workers have been signed, including Aaron Stevens, Kenny (Dykstra) Phoenix, Mike Kruel, Kofi Nahaje Kingston, and most recently Thomas Penmanship. Chaotic Wrestling is pleased to have a positive relationship with WWE, including hosting a WWE tryout in August of 2006 and we look forward to seeing more members of Chaotic Wrestling in WWE soon."

If we can't believe it when they start reporting the little things, how can we trust them when it comes to their Wrestlemania "spoilers"? In a way, this makes me happy because it seems like a lot of these NEWZ guys are smug assholes, but it also concerns me because there seems to be so much distrust in these dirtsheets compared to when I first started reading them.

[balmudo]

Who cares? It's not like I'm letting the wrestling dirtsheets babysit my children or anything. If I had kids.

[Arturo Classico]

I was disappointed that no Chaotic wrestlers have been signed since they seem like to all be quality talents.

["Hollywood" Cactus Matt]

balmudo said:

Who cares? It's not like I'm letting the wrestling dirtsheets babysit my children or anything. If I had kids.

My old babysitter, the Pro Wrestling Torch newsletter, was so much fun! We used to play Hide and Seek or Freeze Tag in the back yard, and then we'd come inside and Pro (we were on a first-name basis) would cook dinner, usually something small and kid-friendly. Then we'd watch some TV and soon it would be time for bed. Pro would tuck me in, give my my teddy bear, and tell me to sleep tight, and by the time I woke up my mom would be home from work.

Aaahh, memories! Thanks for being such a good babysitter, Pro Wrestling Torch!

[Gillberg: 0-175]

Eh, take it for what you will. I just like seeing smug assholes get their just desserts. These guys act like they know everything, and when they are wrong it makes me feel good. It's like kicking that jock in the nuts in school after hes been on your nerves for months being a dick.

[Reverend BTY]

OOooh, BURN ON YOU MELTZER!

[Deleted]

Dirtsheets are VERY reliable, guys. Reliable because the opposite of what they claim happens. So I do read through them. When it says stuff like "OMGZ Punk hs majer HeAT" I suspect that meaning: "Oh my, Punk is getting pushed to the moon!" Or "NO NOES Melina in teh doghouz doo 2 atomic HeAT in chute intaveewz!" that translates to: "Our current women's champion is in her current prime thus far, and is being marketed and put over, despite made-up shoots." "Bikini modelz 2 b signoed!" that would become "NO bikini models now." Or "Claudio IN" is "Claudio messed up his contract, and he's out of here."

So guys, don't bash the dirtsheets. Believe them...or the opposite of them at least.

[MichaelRBoh]

good we didn't need another model who knows nothing about wrestling.

though i'm surprised someone would turn down a wwe contract when you could make over 100,000 a year.

[MichaelRBoh]

mightykretzler said:

Dirtsheets are VERY reliable, guys. Reliable because the opposite of what they claim happens. So I do read through them. When it says stuff like "OMGZ Punk hs majer HeAT" I suspect that meaning: "Oh my, Punk is getting pushed to the moon!" Or "NO NOES Melina in teh doghouz doo 2 atomic HeAT in chute intaveewz!" that translates to: "Our current women's champion is in her current prime thus far, and is being marketed and put over, despite made-up shoots." "Bikini modelz 2 b signoed!" that would become "NO bikini models now." Or "Claudio IN" is "Claudio messed up his contract, and he's out of here."

So guys, don't bash the dirtsheets. Believe them...or the opposite of them at least.

that sounds like eric bischoffs book

[Deleted]

cowpee said:

mightykretzler said:

Dirtsheets are VERY reliable, guys. Reliable because the opposite of what they claim happens. So I do read through them. When it says stuff like "OMGZ Punk hs majer HeAT" I suspect that meaning: "Oh my, Punk is getting pushed to the moon!" Or "NO NOES Melina in teh doghouz doo 2 atomic HeAT in chute intaveewz!" that translates to: "Our current women's champion is in her current prime thus far, and is being marketed and put over, despite made-up shoots." "Bikini modelz 2 b signoed!" that would become "NO bikini models now." Or "Claudio IN" is "Claudio messed up his contract, and he's out of here."

So guys, don't bash the dirtsheets. Believe them...or the opposite of them at least.

that sounds like eric bischoffs book

Does that mean I can be GM for a night and shill crap?

[MichaelRBoh]

mightykretzler said:

cowpee said:

that sounds like eric bischoffs book

Does that mean I can be GM for a night and shill crap?

sure ;D

[Deleted]

cowpee said:

mightykretzler said:

Does that mean I can be GM for a night and shill crap?

sure ;D

I'll even include that in a short promo about my future exploits:

"A lot of people wonder about the real Khali Bischoff. They claim that I was a controversial person. And if I've learned anything, CONTROVERSY CREATES CASH. people say, "Don't follow him, he's controversial." Well, controversy is a real thing. And it works. There's a lot of things, controversial things, that brought the wrestling business to success, like smark sites.

Dirtsheets are VERY reliable, guys. Reliable because the opposite of what they claim happens. So I do read through them. When it says stuff like "OMGZ Punk hs majer HeAT" I suspect that meaning: "Oh my, Punk is getting pushed to the moon!" Or "NO NOES Melina in teh doghouz doo 2 atomic HeAT in chute intaveewz!" that translates to: "Our current women's champion is in her current prime thus far, and is being marketed and put over, despite made-up shoots." "Bikini modelz 2 b signoed!" that would become "NO bikini models now." Or "Claudio IN" is "Claudio messed up his contract, and he's out of here."

The stuff is wildly controversial, and people buy into it. And they always will. Take it from me, a man who DEFEATED Vince McMahon over 80 times straight in the ratings war, controversy is never fails. WHich I discuss, in CONTROVERSY Creates Cash!

[PTBartman]

mightykretzler said:

Dirtsheets are VERY reliable, guys. Reliable because the opposite of what they claim happens. So I do read through them. When it says stuff like "OMGZ Punk hs majer HeAT" I suspect that meaning: "Oh my, Punk is getting pushed to the moon!" Or "NO NOES Melina in teh doghouz doo 2 atomic HeAT in chute intaveewz!" that translates to: "Our current women's champion is in her current prime thus far, and is being marketed and put over, despite made-up shoots." "Bikini modelz 2 b signoed!" that would become "NO bikini models now." Or "Claudio IN" is "Claudio messed up his contract, and he's out of here."

So guys, don't bash the dirtsheets. Believe them...or the opposite of them at least.

ok...so what do we do if it's opposite day?

[redriverjack]

kingsofwrestling said:

I was disappointed that no Chaotic wrestlers have been signed since they seem like to all be quality talents.

Thomas Penmanship recently signed a developmental deal with the WWE.

[balmudo]

WWE needs some more Lawful-Neutral wrestlers.

["St. Louis Viper" Buck Summers]

ptbartman said:

mightykretzler said:

Dirtsheets are VERY reliable, guys. Reliable because the opposite of what they claim happens. So I do read through them. When it says stuff like "OMGZ Punk hs majer HeAT" I suspect that meaning: "Oh my, Punk is getting pushed to the moon!" Or "NO NOES Melina in teh doghouz doo 2 atomic HeAT in chute intaveewz!" that translates to: "Our current women's champion is in her current prime thus far, and is being marketed and put over, despite made-up shoots." "Bikini modelz 2 b signoed!" that would become "NO bikini models now." Or "Claudio IN" is "Claudio messed up his contract, and he's out of here."

So guys, don't bash the dirtsheets. Believe them...or the opposite of them at least.

ok...so what do we do if it's opposite day?

Kill yourself to keep from getting confused and having your head explode like in Scanners.

[rrm15]

lol @ Newz sites. Although WWE has always had a huge, pathetic chip on their shoulder when it comes to this sort of thing.