Post by angryfan on Apr 22, 2007 1:11:41 GMT -5
Here we go, guys, a new episode. As always, feedback is greatly appreciated and new ideas are always a plus.
(Scene opens with the gang entering the local Wal-Mart, with Steph pushing a shopping cart with the baby in the seat and HBK riding in the actual cart)
HHH: So what do we need again?
Steph: I just have a few things to pick up.
HHH: Yeah, cool, listen, we’re going to be over in electronics.
Steph: You are NOT getting another plasma TV.
HHH: Aw, come on, honey, why not?
Steph: Because you’ll just throw something at it on Monday night again, that’s why not.
HHH: I told you, that was an accident. Is it my fault that I miss work?
Steph: Listen, Hunter, missing work is fine, but destroying a TV every time the main event comes on is getting expensive.
HBK: (casually juggling three bags of cotton candy) Yeah, man, besides, with me being in it, it’s almost like you’re still there, right? That has to count for something.
HHH: Well, it isn’t the same, okay? I’m sitting at home, bored and stir-crazy, while you get to have all the fun of kicking people in the face.
Flair: Woooooooo!
HHH: What do you mean? I know I don’t normally kick people in the face!
Steph: Well, you did say –
HHH: I know what I said!
Steph: Well, if it makes you feel any better, we can stop off and you can practice face kicking with some of the cruiserweights.
HHH: But I don’t WANT to practice kicking the cruiserweights in…wait, cruiserweights?
Steph: You know, the guys that do all the flipping around.
HHH: You mean the flying Wallendas?
Steph: No, not them.
(She looks over and sees London and Kendrick shadowing the cart, doing various feats of acrobatics inside a giant plastic bubble)
London: Can ya see us? How are we doing?
Steph: (smiling) I do see, and it looks great guys.
Kendrick: See? It worked, I toldja it’d work, didn’t I? Didn’t I tell you?
London: Score!
(London and Kendrick high five in mid backflip, then turn down the cereal aisle)
Steph: Like those guys, Hunter. Those are cruiserweights.
HHH: Wait, them? And you didn’t stop them so I could kick them?
Steph: But you said you didn’t want to kick them.
HHH: But that’s not…I mean…what I meant was…aw damn it, never mind. Can we please just go look at a new TV now?
Steph: No.
(the group passes the aisle containing the household appliances, where Big Show is pacing)
Big Show: (holding a large skillet up, which dwarves his hand) LIES, it’s all LIES! (he throws the pan and storms off)
HHH: Well, will you at least tell me what we’re looking for?
Steph: You’ll see.
(scene changes to Orton and Edge in the camping section, hiding out in a large tent)
Edge: Look, I’m serious, I really need your help this time!
Orton: Dude, for the last time, no. Matt is STILL calling me from the last time I helped you. Why would I do it again?
Edge: Because you hanker for a hunk of cheese? (he holds up a block of cheddar)
Randy: I’m lactose intolerant, you jerk! Do you not care about my digestive health?
Edge: Damn, you’re testy. Go figure, get a dude dressing in drag one time and suddenly he gets all emotional.
Randy: Well maybe if you told me I looked good once in a while!
Edge: Ok, ok, sorry. So no cheese?
Randy: No, no cheese.
Edge: How about jelly beans?
Randy: Why the hell would I help you for jelly beans?
Edge: They’re Jelly Bellys?
Randy: Hell yeah, Jelly Bellys! Gimme!
Edge: Wait, will you help me?
Randy: Promise me, I don’t have to be in drag.
Edge: (not looking at him) I promise you, you will absolutely not have to wear a dress at any time.
Randy: Deal, now gimme that candy! (he grabs the bag) Now, what do we do?
Edge: Well, I’m getting tired of Cena, so I want use to be able to get inside his head.
Randy: Well, that does help both of us.
Edge: Exactly. See, I’m thinking about both of us.
Randy: Yeah, sorry about getting mad earlier.
Edge: No big deal, now you want to hear the plan?
Randy: Sure.
Edge: OK, we need to distract him, and since he’s al big on the hip hop thing, I have an idea.
Randy: Parachute pants?
Edge: Nah. I figure we get you dressed like one of the dancers from the Baby Got Back video and we’ll have him right where we want him.
Randy: Wait, all the dancers in that video were female!
Edge: Your point?
Randy: You said I wouldn’t have to dress like a woman, deal’s off!
Edge: No, what I said was you wouldn’t have to wear a dress.
Randy: So what, same thing!
Edge: Is not, this time you’d wear something like cut off shorts or something.
Randy: Why don’t you do it if it’s so easy?
Edge: Because we already shook on it, and you already ate half the jelly beans.
Randy: But…
Edge: So here ya go, go give us a leg up in the match.
(Edge hands over a pear of cut off jeans)
Randy: I really hate you sometimes.
(Orton storms off as the scene ends)
(Scene changes to the gang passing the electronics department, running into Cena)
HHH: Hey, John, shopping for something?
Cena: Yeah, thinking about seeing if they can get me a spinning TV.
HHH: But, how would that work? The picture wouldn’t be right side up most of the time, would it?
Cena; I thought of that already, I’m having my living room put on a gyroscope, so it’ll spin too, isn’t that cool?
HHH: But why the hell would you want a room that spins?
Cena: Because…well, it spins! What more reason do I need?
HHH: Yeah, good luck with that.
Cena: So you here to buy something too?
HHH: Yeah, I need a new TV, but Steph says I have to wait.
Steph: You’re not going to stop asking, are you?
HHH: Sure, honey, but can I go?
Steph: (sighing loudly) Fine, go TV shopping.
(Steph departs with HBK, the baby, and Sledgie in tow, leaving HHH and Flair standing with Cena)
HHH: I told her, we need a nice, big, flat screen, plasma TV. Something fit for a man of my –
(HHH Is interrupted by the sound of Sir Mix-A-Lot blaring over the speakers in the electronics department, and Orton, in cut offs and a half shirt cabbage patching into the area)
HHH: What…
Cena: The…
Flair: Wooo?
Randy: (dancing over to Cena) Hey there, Champ, how’s it going?
Cena: Uh…uh…yeah, okay, wow.
(Matt Hardy runs in from nowhere)
Matt: Hey beautiful! You okay? You’ don’t return my calls, is everything okay? It’s not Edge is it?
(Orton glares and then tries for an RKO, missing and landing in the discount DVD bin)
HHH: I got your back, Appetite Killer! (he Pedigrees Matt into a display for the director’s cut of Bridges of Madison County)
Randy: Uh, thanks, guys. How’d you know it was me?
HHH: Well, it was obvious, since it’s just you in different and more disturbing clothes.
Randy: (looking at Cena, who is staring blank and open-mouthed) But you’re distracted, right?
(Cena frantically begins waving his hand in front of Orton’s face)
Cena: I can’t seeeeeeeeeee you! I can’t see you! Damn it, I can still see him!
Randy: (with hands on hips) Oh this is just useless! (he storms off)
Matt: Wait! Wait, can we at least talk? (he runs after Orton)
(a voice comes over the intercom)
PA: Attention Wal-Mart shoppers! Be on the look out for price roll-backs in electronics!
HHH: Sweet!
(HHH spots a giant sign with the prices for the Plasma TV’s)
HHH: Man, I am so getting one of those for every room!
Cena: (jumping up and down) I love the roll-backs on the commercials, where the little smiley face shows up and drops the price)
HHH: Yeah, but they just have some employee do that because –
(he is cut off by the sound a strange tribal drum beat)
Estrada: My naaaaaaaaaaaame es Armaaaaaaaaaaando Alejaaaaaaaaaaandro Eeeeeeeeeeestttttttttaaaaaaaaada, and THIS is my Samoan Price Tag Bulldozer!
(Umaga runs into the department sprinting towards the TV’s)
Umaga: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGA!
(Umaga does the ass crash into a giant display of Plasma screens, destroying them)
HHH: DAMN IT!
(Scene opens with the gang entering the local Wal-Mart, with Steph pushing a shopping cart with the baby in the seat and HBK riding in the actual cart)
HHH: So what do we need again?
Steph: I just have a few things to pick up.
HHH: Yeah, cool, listen, we’re going to be over in electronics.
Steph: You are NOT getting another plasma TV.
HHH: Aw, come on, honey, why not?
Steph: Because you’ll just throw something at it on Monday night again, that’s why not.
HHH: I told you, that was an accident. Is it my fault that I miss work?
Steph: Listen, Hunter, missing work is fine, but destroying a TV every time the main event comes on is getting expensive.
HBK: (casually juggling three bags of cotton candy) Yeah, man, besides, with me being in it, it’s almost like you’re still there, right? That has to count for something.
HHH: Well, it isn’t the same, okay? I’m sitting at home, bored and stir-crazy, while you get to have all the fun of kicking people in the face.
Flair: Woooooooo!
HHH: What do you mean? I know I don’t normally kick people in the face!
Steph: Well, you did say –
HHH: I know what I said!
Steph: Well, if it makes you feel any better, we can stop off and you can practice face kicking with some of the cruiserweights.
HHH: But I don’t WANT to practice kicking the cruiserweights in…wait, cruiserweights?
Steph: You know, the guys that do all the flipping around.
HHH: You mean the flying Wallendas?
Steph: No, not them.
(She looks over and sees London and Kendrick shadowing the cart, doing various feats of acrobatics inside a giant plastic bubble)
London: Can ya see us? How are we doing?
Steph: (smiling) I do see, and it looks great guys.
Kendrick: See? It worked, I toldja it’d work, didn’t I? Didn’t I tell you?
London: Score!
(London and Kendrick high five in mid backflip, then turn down the cereal aisle)
Steph: Like those guys, Hunter. Those are cruiserweights.
HHH: Wait, them? And you didn’t stop them so I could kick them?
Steph: But you said you didn’t want to kick them.
HHH: But that’s not…I mean…what I meant was…aw damn it, never mind. Can we please just go look at a new TV now?
Steph: No.
(the group passes the aisle containing the household appliances, where Big Show is pacing)
Big Show: (holding a large skillet up, which dwarves his hand) LIES, it’s all LIES! (he throws the pan and storms off)
HHH: Well, will you at least tell me what we’re looking for?
Steph: You’ll see.
(scene changes to Orton and Edge in the camping section, hiding out in a large tent)
Edge: Look, I’m serious, I really need your help this time!
Orton: Dude, for the last time, no. Matt is STILL calling me from the last time I helped you. Why would I do it again?
Edge: Because you hanker for a hunk of cheese? (he holds up a block of cheddar)
Randy: I’m lactose intolerant, you jerk! Do you not care about my digestive health?
Edge: Damn, you’re testy. Go figure, get a dude dressing in drag one time and suddenly he gets all emotional.
Randy: Well maybe if you told me I looked good once in a while!
Edge: Ok, ok, sorry. So no cheese?
Randy: No, no cheese.
Edge: How about jelly beans?
Randy: Why the hell would I help you for jelly beans?
Edge: They’re Jelly Bellys?
Randy: Hell yeah, Jelly Bellys! Gimme!
Edge: Wait, will you help me?
Randy: Promise me, I don’t have to be in drag.
Edge: (not looking at him) I promise you, you will absolutely not have to wear a dress at any time.
Randy: Deal, now gimme that candy! (he grabs the bag) Now, what do we do?
Edge: Well, I’m getting tired of Cena, so I want use to be able to get inside his head.
Randy: Well, that does help both of us.
Edge: Exactly. See, I’m thinking about both of us.
Randy: Yeah, sorry about getting mad earlier.
Edge: No big deal, now you want to hear the plan?
Randy: Sure.
Edge: OK, we need to distract him, and since he’s al big on the hip hop thing, I have an idea.
Randy: Parachute pants?
Edge: Nah. I figure we get you dressed like one of the dancers from the Baby Got Back video and we’ll have him right where we want him.
Randy: Wait, all the dancers in that video were female!
Edge: Your point?
Randy: You said I wouldn’t have to dress like a woman, deal’s off!
Edge: No, what I said was you wouldn’t have to wear a dress.
Randy: So what, same thing!
Edge: Is not, this time you’d wear something like cut off shorts or something.
Randy: Why don’t you do it if it’s so easy?
Edge: Because we already shook on it, and you already ate half the jelly beans.
Randy: But…
Edge: So here ya go, go give us a leg up in the match.
(Edge hands over a pear of cut off jeans)
Randy: I really hate you sometimes.
(Orton storms off as the scene ends)
(Scene changes to the gang passing the electronics department, running into Cena)
HHH: Hey, John, shopping for something?
Cena: Yeah, thinking about seeing if they can get me a spinning TV.
HHH: But, how would that work? The picture wouldn’t be right side up most of the time, would it?
Cena; I thought of that already, I’m having my living room put on a gyroscope, so it’ll spin too, isn’t that cool?
HHH: But why the hell would you want a room that spins?
Cena: Because…well, it spins! What more reason do I need?
HHH: Yeah, good luck with that.
Cena: So you here to buy something too?
HHH: Yeah, I need a new TV, but Steph says I have to wait.
Steph: You’re not going to stop asking, are you?
HHH: Sure, honey, but can I go?
Steph: (sighing loudly) Fine, go TV shopping.
(Steph departs with HBK, the baby, and Sledgie in tow, leaving HHH and Flair standing with Cena)
HHH: I told her, we need a nice, big, flat screen, plasma TV. Something fit for a man of my –
(HHH Is interrupted by the sound of Sir Mix-A-Lot blaring over the speakers in the electronics department, and Orton, in cut offs and a half shirt cabbage patching into the area)
HHH: What…
Cena: The…
Flair: Wooo?
Randy: (dancing over to Cena) Hey there, Champ, how’s it going?
Cena: Uh…uh…yeah, okay, wow.
(Matt Hardy runs in from nowhere)
Matt: Hey beautiful! You okay? You’ don’t return my calls, is everything okay? It’s not Edge is it?
(Orton glares and then tries for an RKO, missing and landing in the discount DVD bin)
HHH: I got your back, Appetite Killer! (he Pedigrees Matt into a display for the director’s cut of Bridges of Madison County)
Randy: Uh, thanks, guys. How’d you know it was me?
HHH: Well, it was obvious, since it’s just you in different and more disturbing clothes.
Randy: (looking at Cena, who is staring blank and open-mouthed) But you’re distracted, right?
(Cena frantically begins waving his hand in front of Orton’s face)
Cena: I can’t seeeeeeeeeee you! I can’t see you! Damn it, I can still see him!
Randy: (with hands on hips) Oh this is just useless! (he storms off)
Matt: Wait! Wait, can we at least talk? (he runs after Orton)
(a voice comes over the intercom)
PA: Attention Wal-Mart shoppers! Be on the look out for price roll-backs in electronics!
HHH: Sweet!
(HHH spots a giant sign with the prices for the Plasma TV’s)
HHH: Man, I am so getting one of those for every room!
Cena: (jumping up and down) I love the roll-backs on the commercials, where the little smiley face shows up and drops the price)
HHH: Yeah, but they just have some employee do that because –
(he is cut off by the sound a strange tribal drum beat)
Estrada: My naaaaaaaaaaaame es Armaaaaaaaaaaando Alejaaaaaaaaaaandro Eeeeeeeeeeestttttttttaaaaaaaaada, and THIS is my Samoan Price Tag Bulldozer!
(Umaga runs into the department sprinting towards the TV’s)
Umaga: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGA!
(Umaga does the ass crash into a giant display of Plasma screens, destroying them)
HHH: DAMN IT!
helped $lim jinx NXT. Woops
