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Post by heffer111 on Jan 9, 2007 17:17:57 GMT -5
I think it should happen. Vince, no more bikini models, no more "hoss's", no more celebrity impersonators. Want to turn this company around? Hire Christopher Walken in place of Jim Ross, Lawler, Cole, Tazz, and Styles. JBL can stick around as a backstage interviewer or something. He needs to commentate every show, and redo all DVD's.
So, what would it sound like?
"This is happening, right now, in front of our eyes. Now, as i stop, and observe this match, it is better than any gift my wife has given me, or she has recieved. Would this be possible in a six sided ring? Forget it. As these fellows with green spraypaint ask Are You Ready? i must tell myself that's a damn good question. Quite the conundrum. I never liked cheerios. They were just, exciting nonexistant froot loops."
STUNNER!! STUNNER!! STUNNER!! would then transform into... "This short jeaned friend of mine with the more than terrifying skulls on his plexileather vest is pulling off a exhilerant sitout three-quarter facelock jawbreaker. Blows my mind."
You really gotta use the walken voice and pauses midsentence for these, but anyways, i tried, so you guys should try too. Come on WC, i know you got some funny in you.
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Chainsaw
T
A very BAD man.
It is what it is
Posts: 90,480
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Post by Chainsaw on Jan 9, 2007 17:22:49 GMT -5
A couple of days ago, I suggested that the only way that the WWE could turn things around would be to go completely insane.
This thread proves that that could work.
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Sajoa Moe
Patti Mayonnaise
Did you get that thing I sent ya?
A man without gimmick.
Posts: 39,683
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Post by Sajoa Moe on Jan 9, 2007 17:27:46 GMT -5
John Madden as color commentator.
"Now, good fundamental wrestling is all about good fundamental wrestling. Great wrestlers are great wrestlers, and great wrestlers wrestle great. Then you have your not-so-great wrestlers, and their wrestling is not so great. You put a great wrestler in the ring with a not-so-great wrestler, the great wrestler usually wins. But sometimes a not-so-great wrestler will beat a great wrestler, and that's called an "upset". An upset is when somebody who's great loses to someone who's not so great, making someone who's great look not so great.
And that's what it's all about."
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Post by Lenny: Smooth like Keith Stone on Jan 9, 2007 17:28:28 GMT -5
"PUPPIES!! PUPPIES!!"
would become
"As I sit here, before this... ring... some stunning women are prancing about. Bosoms flow freely and in the case of the ones such as those named Jillian or Ariel, the bosoms are ever more abudant than... the fat naked oily man known as Big Dick of the Johnson crest."
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Post by DrBackflipsHoffman on Jan 9, 2007 17:34:22 GMT -5
Khali: WAAAEKDJLBWDBJLWDBJL JAAAAAAHHHHNNN CEEENENURGRGGGHH WHWGAHDGHKHALIIIII
Walken: y'see this guy....Khali...there's uhhh...there's a mind at work here, something that...soemthing that he doesnt want us to know....i can sense it. I've seen the uhh....type before.....there's a storm coming at the hands of this guy, and....only one man....one...can stop it.............y'see i've seen this kind of thing before, back in....back in 'nam, we'd get guys like this all the time.......guys all over the place.....ARMIES of Khali's everywhere.....everywhere you looked......of course.......we lost the war...........everyone was dead, but me.............you see....Khali's smart.......but i am his su-PER-ior....i am like....like an omnipresent force....forty two years i waited for this day................forty two years i came to face this guy and now, and only NOW do i exact my revenge........forty two years about to come to an end.....and dont think i wont, because the years i've waited for this.....there's only one outcome....one outcome.
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Post by heffer111 on Jan 9, 2007 17:35:53 GMT -5
hahahahahahahhahahaa
i swear to god id watch it relgiiously, even smackdown on friday nights just for him commentating. these are GOLD
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Sajoa Moe
Patti Mayonnaise
Did you get that thing I sent ya?
A man without gimmick.
Posts: 39,683
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Post by Sajoa Moe on Jan 9, 2007 17:36:11 GMT -5
"I see this young man, a painted anomaly if you will, tumbling willfully from this steel apparatus, and I...think to myself: 'What class? What course? What means of education does one take to...fall so carelessly from this ladder?' I...do not know."
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Post by Austin's Middle Finger on Jan 9, 2007 17:39:41 GMT -5
You just blew my mind.
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Post by heffer111 on Jan 9, 2007 17:41:26 GMT -5
"This match, it's painful! As if a bulldozer, were to run over, your grandmas house, with her still inside. The screams, fill your head."
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Post by DrBackflipsHoffman on Jan 9, 2007 17:42:28 GMT -5
"no...i...i don't smell what the rock is cooking...y'see when you've smelt death as close as i have....as many times as i have....everything else just becomes...compeltely insignificant instantly, and you need to ask yourself....when you stare into my eyes......'what can i do to convince this man that what IM cooking is more terrifying them an entire platoon wiped out in one go'.....see the answer is....nothing"
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Post by Lenny: Smooth like Keith Stone on Jan 9, 2007 17:43:56 GMT -5
"This... accidental undoing of the fetus which was... as they say... being incubated by the uterus of one Lita. As the large gentlemen in the... red pajamas... tumbled over and fell atop the lovely succubus Lita, this fetal being became no more. Yet who can be blamed for such... unfortunate occurances such as this? Certainly not the bearded one. The blame for... this tragedy.... lies elsewhere from the bearded shoe afficionado."
OR
"It wasn't my fault"
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Post by heffer111 on Jan 9, 2007 18:04:20 GMT -5
hahahaha walken owns
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Post by The"threadicidal"bristolspapa on Jan 9, 2007 18:42:06 GMT -5
John Madden as color commentator. "Now, good fundamental wrestling is all about good fundamental wrestling. Great wrestlers are great wrestlers, and great wrestlers wrestle great. Then you have your not-so-great wrestlers, and their wrestling is not so great. You put a great wrestler in the ring with a not-so-great wrestler, the great wrestler usually wins. But sometimes a not-so-great wrestler will beat a great wrestler, and that's called an "upset". An upset is when somebody who's great loses to someone who's not so great, making someone who's great look not so great. And that's what it's all about." Plus a few Brett Favres and I think you have a winner. |
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Post by The"threadicidal"bristolspapa on Jan 9, 2007 18:44:03 GMT -5
After an Orton promo.
"That's the wrong tone. Your talkin to my guy...HBK...all wrong here. Do it again...I'll stab you in the face with a soldering iron."
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Sajoa Moe
Patti Mayonnaise
Did you get that thing I sent ya?
A man without gimmick.
Posts: 39,683
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Post by Sajoa Moe on Jan 9, 2007 18:44:06 GMT -5
John Madden as color commentator. "Now, good fundamental wrestling is all about good fundamental wrestling. Great wrestlers are great wrestlers, and great wrestlers wrestle great. Then you have your not-so-great wrestlers, and their wrestling is not so great. You put a great wrestler in the ring with a not-so-great wrestler, the great wrestler usually wins. But sometimes a not-so-great wrestler will beat a great wrestler, and that's called an "upset". An upset is when somebody who's great loses to someone who's not so great, making someone who's great look not so great. And that's what it's all about." Plus a few Brett Favres and I think you have a winner. "Even the greatest wrestler on his best day wouldn't beat Brett Favre. Brett Favre is the greatest human being alive. I saw him slam that 800-pound giant at the Pontiac Silverdome and when you bodyslam somebody that weighs over 800 pounds, that's really a lot of weight." |
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Ace Diamond
Patti Mayonnaise
Believes in Adrian Veidt, as Should We All.
mmm...flavor text
Posts: 36,043
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Post by Ace Diamond on Jan 9, 2007 18:46:51 GMT -5
The man with the long dark hair and the studded cargo pants, always searching for that one push to the top, he could be like the Showstopper, but he has instead become the Rocker, but he could do it, and if anybody questions me I'll put their foot in their throat.
OR: "Matt Hardy could've been like Shawn Michaels but became Marty Janetty, yet I know he can be a main eventer"
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Post by heffer111 on Jan 9, 2007 19:30:31 GMT -5
"Frankenstien doesn't scare me. Marsupials do, theyre fast!"
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captainfancy
Bubba Ho-Tep
Ya'll take a listen, you'll hear the deep sound comin' down from Bobby Peru.
Posts: 643
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Post by captainfancy on Jan 9, 2007 19:43:12 GMT -5
"This, this John CENA, he has received...more odds, to overCOME."
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Post by Lenny: Smooth like Keith Stone on Jan 9, 2007 21:14:30 GMT -5
 "They call him the... Samoan Submission Machine. Not like the kind of machine you use to... clean a bowling ball, like those automatic ball buffing... devices, no. This machine... led to the ringside area by the gentlemen with the hat and the.... cigars in tow. This machine of Samoan origin is about to... thumb Cena." |
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Post by "St. Louis Viper" Buck Summers on Jan 9, 2007 21:22:46 GMT -5
"They call him the... Samoan Submission Machine. Not like the kind of machine you use to... clean a bowling ball, like those automatic ball buffing... devices, no. This machine... led to the ringside area by the gentlemen with the hat and the.... cigars in tow. This machine of Samoan origin is about to... thumb Cena." *whispers* You named his cousin... |
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