Post by angryfan on Dec 31, 2006 23:47:39 GMT -5
Happy New Year everybody!
(scene opens on the bus, with the gang heading to the New Year’s party)
HHH: Are we there yet?
Steph: No.
HHH: (to Johnny Ace, who’s driving) Can’t you go any faster?
Ace: I’m sort of new at this, you know.
HHH: Yeah, well, just think of it as a skateboard.
Flair: (wearing a new robe and new year’s sash for some reason) Wooooooo!
HHH: Really?
Flair: Wooo.
HHH: (snickering) can’t even ride a skateboard, that’s funny.
Ace: I HEARD THAT!
HHH: And?
Ace: Uh…just letting you know my ears are working is all.
Steph: Could we please hurry up? I’d like to get there before the ball drops.
HBK: (practicing limboing by the bunks) Who dropped the ball? Don’t blame me!
HHH: She meant –
Snitsky: (holding the limbo pole) It wasn’t…my –
HHH: We know, Gene. What are you doing here anyway?
Snitsky: Uh…I’m not sure. I just woke up and was here, so figured I’d just stick around.
Steph: Well that sounds reasonable.
HHH: It does?
Steph: Yes, it does. Doesn’t it, Hunter?
HHH: Is there a right answer to this question?
Steph: What?
HHH: Um, I said of course, dear. How about afterwards I buy you some jewelry or something?
Steph: You’re so sweet.
HHH: (to Flair) Dodged that one.
Flair: Woo.
(the bus screeches to a halt in the middle of an intersection, stopping traffic in all four directions)
HHH: Why the hell are you stopping here?
Ace: (with his face plastered to the window) Jesus, will you look at the cans on that one! I’ll be right back. (he runs out the bus’s door)
HHH: Now where the hell is he going?
(Ace re-enters the bus with a large chested woman on his arm, and hands Steph a freshly signed contract, then goes back to the driver’s seat)
HHH: (to the woman) Who are you?
Woman: My name’s Ginger.
HHH: Ok, and why are you here again?
Ginger: I have no idea. I was waiting to cross the street, and the guy driving ran up and asked me if I wanted to be on TV.
HHH: Did he now?
Ginger: Yeah. Is this one of those reality shows, or like that Cash Cab show?
Steph: No, it isn’t. We work for WWE, perhaps you’ve heard of us?
Ginger: Oooohhh, that’s that cable channel, like Lifetime, right?
Steph: Oy vey.
HHH: You’ll love this, the travel, meeting people, all of it. (he takes the contract from Stephanie, who is now openly weeping) Best part is, you’ll be making (he glances at the contract) MOTHERFU-
Flair: (cutting him off) Woooooooo?
HHH: I’ll tell you what’s wrong! She’s making more than all three of us COMBINED! Jonny, have you lost your damn mind?
Ace: Hey, I don’t tell you how to do your job, don’t tell me how to do mine!
HHH: (muttering) Someone has to.
Steph: (regaining her composure) So…Ginger, is it? If you’re going to be a WWE Diva, there are a few things you need to know, allright?
Ginger: OK, who’s going to teach me?
Steph: I am.
Ginger: You? You’re a Diva? I mean, no offense, but aren’t you a little, I don’t know, plump maybe?
Steph: (leaps from the seat and begins pummeling Ginger) SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!
HHH: (to Flair) Should we do something?
Flair: Woooo.
(HHH pulls Steph off of Ginger and drags her to her seat, while Flair helps Ginger up)
Flair: Woooo?
Ginger: Yeah, I’m ok.
Flair: Wooooooooo?
Ginger: Yeah, I love amusement parks, why?
Flair: (beginning to strut and bleed slightly) Woooooooooooo!
Ginger: Really? I LOVE Space Mountain! But, aren’t we pretty far away?
Flair Wooooooooooooooooooo!
(Flair grabs Ginger and struts to the back)
Ace: Hey! HEY! Flair, what are you DOING? I found her, so I get the first shot, NOT you! Hey, HEY, are you listening to me?
Flair: (flipping off Johnny without looking back) Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Ace: Why does this ALWAYS happen?
HHH: (under his breath) Maybe because chicks don’t dig pink tights and skateboards?
Ace: OK, we’re here, everybody get out! (he slams on the breaks)
(the bus fishtails to a halt in front of a large hotel, and the gang exits the bus)
HHH: Hey, Johnny, try not to sign anyone else, ok?
Ace: Can I at least come inside?
Flair, HHH, and Steph: NO!
(the gang enters the hotel, to find many of the WWE employees already inside. Off to one side, Vince is drinking heavily, looking very upset)
Steph: (going to Vince) Daddy, what’s worng?
Vince: It’s THAT DAMN DX!
HHH: Um, Vince, we didn’t do anything, we just got here.
Vnce: Oh, sorry, reflex, you know?
HHH: Sure. So what’s really wrong?
Vince: The damn hotel won’t let me do what I want for New Year’s. Don’t they realize I’m VinceMcmahonDamnit?
HHH: What do you want to do?
Vince: That damn ball dropping is sucha cliché, I TRIED to make it more spectacular, but they dared to say it was in poor taste! Damn it!
HHH: I’m almost afraid to ask, but what did you want to do?
Vince: (points to a door on the other side of the room) It’s in there.
(HHH and Flair head over to the door, while Steph tries to console her father)
HHH: (opening the door) Holy crap, is that-
Fiar: Woooooo!
(HHH and Flair find themselves staring at a New Year’s ball in the shape of a giant male ass)
Cole: (stepping out from behind the ass) Isn’t it amazing?
HHH: It’s…it’s…um, well, I mean…who the HELL came up with this crap?
Cole: Look, we wanted to do something special, and you know how Mister McMahon loves asses, so it seemed like the right choice.
HHH: You really thought they’d let you put that on top of the building?
Cole: Of course, why wouldn’t they?
HHH: Well…you know what, never mind.
(HHH and Flair leave the room, while Cole disappears behind the giant ass again)
HHH: (returning to where Steph and Vince are) So what’s the plan, Vince?
Vince: I don’t even care. It was going to be so classy and beautiful, but now it’s ruined!
(London and Kendrick appear, wearing party hats, and doing random flips off of anything they can find)
London: Steph, didja see, didja? We’re getting better, much better, aren’t we?
Kendrick: Yeah, can we pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaase be on TV more? Pretty please?
Steph: I did see, and that’s nice. I’ll definitely think about it.
London: Dude, she’ll think about it, this ROCKS!
(the two high five and begin barrel rolling across the room)
Steph: Hunter, what are we going to do? Without a ball dropping, this just isn’t New Year’s.
Flair: Wooooooooooo!
HHH: You have an idea? Really? Well, share, man, come on!
Flair: (whispering to HHH) Wooo.
HHH: Man, that’s brilliant! Go for it.
(Flair wanders off to prepare)
Steph: What’s he doing?
HHH: You’ll see.
Steph: Well he better hurry, we’ve only got five minutes.
HHH: We better go outside, then.
(everyone heads outside, and looks up at the roof, where Flair is now standing with a megaphone)
Flair: Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
(Flair steps aside to reveal Scorpio, decked out in his finest threads. As the clock hits 10 seconds, he jumps)
Crowd: 10!
(Scorpio does a 450)
Crowd: 9!
(Scorpio does a 450
Crowd: 8!
(Scorpio does a 450)
Crowd: 7!
(Scorpio does a 450)
Crowd: 6!
(Scorpio does a 450)
Crowd: 5!
(Scorpio does a 450)
Crod: 4!
(Scorpio does a 450)
Crowd: 3!
(Scorpio does a 450)
Crowd: 2!
(Scorpio does a 450)
Crowd: 1!
(Scorpio does a 450)
Crowd: HAPPY NEW YEAR!
(Scorpio lands on his feet and, instead of a traditional New Year’s song, the crowd hears OOOOOOOOOHHHHH, OOHHHH, SCORPIOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!, as he is joined by two dozen small children, and they all begin stepping with the crowd as the scene ends)
(scene opens on the bus, with the gang heading to the New Year’s party)
HHH: Are we there yet?
Steph: No.
HHH: (to Johnny Ace, who’s driving) Can’t you go any faster?
Ace: I’m sort of new at this, you know.
HHH: Yeah, well, just think of it as a skateboard.
Flair: (wearing a new robe and new year’s sash for some reason) Wooooooo!
HHH: Really?
Flair: Wooo.
HHH: (snickering) can’t even ride a skateboard, that’s funny.
Ace: I HEARD THAT!
HHH: And?
Ace: Uh…just letting you know my ears are working is all.
Steph: Could we please hurry up? I’d like to get there before the ball drops.
HBK: (practicing limboing by the bunks) Who dropped the ball? Don’t blame me!
HHH: She meant –
Snitsky: (holding the limbo pole) It wasn’t…my –
HHH: We know, Gene. What are you doing here anyway?
Snitsky: Uh…I’m not sure. I just woke up and was here, so figured I’d just stick around.
Steph: Well that sounds reasonable.
HHH: It does?
Steph: Yes, it does. Doesn’t it, Hunter?
HHH: Is there a right answer to this question?
Steph: What?
HHH: Um, I said of course, dear. How about afterwards I buy you some jewelry or something?
Steph: You’re so sweet.
HHH: (to Flair) Dodged that one.
Flair: Woo.
(the bus screeches to a halt in the middle of an intersection, stopping traffic in all four directions)
HHH: Why the hell are you stopping here?
Ace: (with his face plastered to the window) Jesus, will you look at the cans on that one! I’ll be right back. (he runs out the bus’s door)
HHH: Now where the hell is he going?
(Ace re-enters the bus with a large chested woman on his arm, and hands Steph a freshly signed contract, then goes back to the driver’s seat)
HHH: (to the woman) Who are you?
Woman: My name’s Ginger.
HHH: Ok, and why are you here again?
Ginger: I have no idea. I was waiting to cross the street, and the guy driving ran up and asked me if I wanted to be on TV.
HHH: Did he now?
Ginger: Yeah. Is this one of those reality shows, or like that Cash Cab show?
Steph: No, it isn’t. We work for WWE, perhaps you’ve heard of us?
Ginger: Oooohhh, that’s that cable channel, like Lifetime, right?
Steph: Oy vey.
HHH: You’ll love this, the travel, meeting people, all of it. (he takes the contract from Stephanie, who is now openly weeping) Best part is, you’ll be making (he glances at the contract) MOTHERFU-
Flair: (cutting him off) Woooooooo?
HHH: I’ll tell you what’s wrong! She’s making more than all three of us COMBINED! Jonny, have you lost your damn mind?
Ace: Hey, I don’t tell you how to do your job, don’t tell me how to do mine!
HHH: (muttering) Someone has to.
Steph: (regaining her composure) So…Ginger, is it? If you’re going to be a WWE Diva, there are a few things you need to know, allright?
Ginger: OK, who’s going to teach me?
Steph: I am.
Ginger: You? You’re a Diva? I mean, no offense, but aren’t you a little, I don’t know, plump maybe?
Steph: (leaps from the seat and begins pummeling Ginger) SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!
HHH: (to Flair) Should we do something?
Flair: Woooo.
(HHH pulls Steph off of Ginger and drags her to her seat, while Flair helps Ginger up)
Flair: Woooo?
Ginger: Yeah, I’m ok.
Flair: Wooooooooo?
Ginger: Yeah, I love amusement parks, why?
Flair: (beginning to strut and bleed slightly) Woooooooooooo!
Ginger: Really? I LOVE Space Mountain! But, aren’t we pretty far away?
Flair Wooooooooooooooooooo!
(Flair grabs Ginger and struts to the back)
Ace: Hey! HEY! Flair, what are you DOING? I found her, so I get the first shot, NOT you! Hey, HEY, are you listening to me?
Flair: (flipping off Johnny without looking back) Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Ace: Why does this ALWAYS happen?
HHH: (under his breath) Maybe because chicks don’t dig pink tights and skateboards?
Ace: OK, we’re here, everybody get out! (he slams on the breaks)
(the bus fishtails to a halt in front of a large hotel, and the gang exits the bus)
HHH: Hey, Johnny, try not to sign anyone else, ok?
Ace: Can I at least come inside?
Flair, HHH, and Steph: NO!
(the gang enters the hotel, to find many of the WWE employees already inside. Off to one side, Vince is drinking heavily, looking very upset)
Steph: (going to Vince) Daddy, what’s worng?
Vince: It’s THAT DAMN DX!
HHH: Um, Vince, we didn’t do anything, we just got here.
Vnce: Oh, sorry, reflex, you know?
HHH: Sure. So what’s really wrong?
Vince: The damn hotel won’t let me do what I want for New Year’s. Don’t they realize I’m VinceMcmahonDamnit?
HHH: What do you want to do?
Vince: That damn ball dropping is sucha cliché, I TRIED to make it more spectacular, but they dared to say it was in poor taste! Damn it!
HHH: I’m almost afraid to ask, but what did you want to do?
Vince: (points to a door on the other side of the room) It’s in there.
(HHH and Flair head over to the door, while Steph tries to console her father)
HHH: (opening the door) Holy crap, is that-
Fiar: Woooooo!
(HHH and Flair find themselves staring at a New Year’s ball in the shape of a giant male ass)
Cole: (stepping out from behind the ass) Isn’t it amazing?
HHH: It’s…it’s…um, well, I mean…who the HELL came up with this crap?
Cole: Look, we wanted to do something special, and you know how Mister McMahon loves asses, so it seemed like the right choice.
HHH: You really thought they’d let you put that on top of the building?
Cole: Of course, why wouldn’t they?
HHH: Well…you know what, never mind.
(HHH and Flair leave the room, while Cole disappears behind the giant ass again)
HHH: (returning to where Steph and Vince are) So what’s the plan, Vince?
Vince: I don’t even care. It was going to be so classy and beautiful, but now it’s ruined!
(London and Kendrick appear, wearing party hats, and doing random flips off of anything they can find)
London: Steph, didja see, didja? We’re getting better, much better, aren’t we?
Kendrick: Yeah, can we pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaase be on TV more? Pretty please?
Steph: I did see, and that’s nice. I’ll definitely think about it.
London: Dude, she’ll think about it, this ROCKS!
(the two high five and begin barrel rolling across the room)
Steph: Hunter, what are we going to do? Without a ball dropping, this just isn’t New Year’s.
Flair: Wooooooooooo!
HHH: You have an idea? Really? Well, share, man, come on!
Flair: (whispering to HHH) Wooo.
HHH: Man, that’s brilliant! Go for it.
(Flair wanders off to prepare)
Steph: What’s he doing?
HHH: You’ll see.
Steph: Well he better hurry, we’ve only got five minutes.
HHH: We better go outside, then.
(everyone heads outside, and looks up at the roof, where Flair is now standing with a megaphone)
Flair: Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
(Flair steps aside to reveal Scorpio, decked out in his finest threads. As the clock hits 10 seconds, he jumps)
Crowd: 10!
(Scorpio does a 450)
Crowd: 9!
(Scorpio does a 450
Crowd: 8!
(Scorpio does a 450)
Crowd: 7!
(Scorpio does a 450)
Crowd: 6!
(Scorpio does a 450)
Crowd: 5!
(Scorpio does a 450)
Crod: 4!
(Scorpio does a 450)
Crowd: 3!
(Scorpio does a 450)
Crowd: 2!
(Scorpio does a 450)
Crowd: 1!
(Scorpio does a 450)
Crowd: HAPPY NEW YEAR!
(Scorpio lands on his feet and, instead of a traditional New Year’s song, the crowd hears OOOOOOOOOHHHHH, OOHHHH, SCORPIOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!, as he is joined by two dozen small children, and they all begin stepping with the crowd as the scene ends)
