Friday Night Slap Down Closed Captions (03/07/08)

[GuyOfOwnage]

Welcome to the closed captions for this week's Debbie W.A. Smacked Down!

Edge doesn't want to get off to a negative star, but this year's WrestleMania will be one of the most depressing of ends in WWE history. This year to legacy is come to a tragic and first. Edge is the true fee. Tonight, Undertaker will be taking on an Active, Kurt Hoch in a Tree on Wine match.

He then interviewed "The Nature Boulais" Ric Flair. Out of no where, Domino takes over and welcomes "Rikke" to the show. He says that everyone heard Shawn Michaels is weak on Raw. At WrestleMania, the Showstopper will British stock the show. "Rikke", however, says that he will be active on his goals at WrestleMania and russell long after. Edge should be worried about being grabbed buy that skinny knack of his and chokeslamming IO.

Vickie gets upset, but Edge tells her to "Combat latin blood down".

Rick will compete in a three on wine handicap match.

We are reminded that Batista faces The Mob at WrestleMania.

Jesse and Fastest make their entrance. "Fenced This" is very ready. He will transform into a raving passionate. "Demand" did their homework.

Miz and Morris myth a parity of CM Punk's childhood. (Hey, I don't write this stuff.)

Coach says to Cole, "Then you'll become ECW Champion once again". At the rate the ECW title is going, I would not be shocked.

Meanwhile, "Festive Youth" mowed people down.

Chavo will defend the title against Punk this Tuesday, but not in a rematch, so say the CCs.

Cole says he is oppressed every week.

Noble tells Michelle that, "There's a lot efficient as the ant", whatever that means. He says, "I'm an old sites by a man".

Seeing a replay of last week's MVP/Batista match, Batista does a "Bird Spine Buster".

Emmitt VP makes his entrance to battle against The Anna Mall, Bautista, who weighs in at 290 Paulins. And VP is "half man, half a main thing". MBP has got to get to the bottom row to stay in the match.

In the newest development, Batista will face Lamont at WrestleMania. Lamont who? Lamont, Ernest Miller's old manager? Or Lamont Sanford of "Sanford and Son" fame? Apparently, so the CCs have clarified, it will be against "Lamont Cassette", whoever that is.

Cole says that "MVP's trying to get the blood flowing back into me", whatever that means.

The "still post" gets used as a weapon during the match. Good thing it wasn't a moving post.

In the end, however, MVP wins by a cow note.

In another shocking development, Randy Wharton popped up randomly during the JBL/"Thinly" recap. I guess that means he'll be jobbing to "the leprechaun" after WrestleMania.

Jamie Noble wants to face Juan Colombo, but he's already facing King tonight. He will however face The Big Show, to which Noble simply replies "Carnations". Perhaps giving Show some flowers will smooth things over.

And already set to be inducted into the WWA Hall of Fame is "Nick Ric Flair", "Peter My Via", and the newest inductee, Me Young. She is never too old to take ass. Her former partner was "The Fabulous Mullah".

Among the participants in the swimsuit contest were Eu, Ariza, Carry, and Marius. At the end of the contest, "Yves" is welcomed to Smackdown.

No one in the WW Easy locker room likes Floyd May Will Mighty Mayweather. At WrestleMania 20 Million, he will face Big Show, who is a man automation.

Next is Undertaker vs The Edges on a Mission. I wonder if Edge is resurrecting Men on a Mission.

For no apparent reason, the caption ":Music>> Would Sad Music" popped up during Undertaker's entrance.

Edge knows he could be Dan The Undertaker, along with Hoch and Writer. You have to give him credits.

And albeit more detailed than usual, those are your closed captions for this week's Friday Night Slap Down.

[Bo Toastys Limb Nation Chamber]

Great thread topic, I love closed captioning screw ups. My all time favorite was a few years ago when in one single Raw segment Batista was closed captioned as “Bathtista,” “Bot-tista,” and most confusingly “Bo Toasty.” That same night it was announced that “Bo Toasty will be in the limb nation chamber.”

This also explains my Wrestlecrap forum name.

[Sajoa Moe]

the newest inductee, Me Young. She is never too old to take ass.

rofl

[CJ Denton is Egon]

"At WrestleMania 20 Million, he will face Big Show, who is a man automation."


Robots at WrestleMania 20 million? AWESOME

[Ass Dan]

Batista faces The Mob on 1....vs. 100!

[DrBackflipsHoffman]

evrbody said:

the newest inductee, Me Young. She is never too old to take ass.

rofl

Hahahahahahahahaha

[General Adam]

guyofownage said:

[No one in the WW Easy locker room likes Floyd May Will Mighty Mayweather. At WrestleMania 20 Million, he will face Big Show, who is a man automation.

I didn't no why I found that funny, but I did.

[angryfan]

phenom said:

Batista faces The Mob on 1....vs. 100!

Yes, Batista will face the mob, and here is how it will go. They will put the "cement shoes" on him, and shoot him in both kneecaps, but within minutes, he will be selling his shoulder instead. This will cause the mafiosos (who are actually 100 Santino clones) to become so flustered that they stand oround yelling randomly until they all explode.

[Bubble Lead]

Well as long as he utilizes the Bird Spine Buster I think he'll be okay. After all, he is the 290 Paulins Anna Mall!

[Ben Matlock]

lmao, I love this format even more than the previous one. Solid gold stuff.

Here's some bad ones from the CW Network:

We are three weeks away from the gretsatt spectacle, WrestleMania.

Eondge had Ric Flair on the Cutting Edge. He needed to sink that for a minuet. Must've been a dance contest of some kind.

Ric Flair will be facing porn star Sean Michaels at WrestleMania.

Edge didn't really show much concern for the way Ric was talking to his fiancee, Vickie Gerrero, for he actually told him "Ric, I'm going to let you talk to my fiancee like that."

"The tag champion in the ECW champion tonight"...just what the hell was Miz/Morrison and Chavo doing?

CW, Jesse, and Fesus took on Miz, Morrison, and Chavo Guerrero. Miz and Morrison won their match on ECW against Scream and Delaney.

C.M.V.P. took on Bento, with the United States title on the line. Batita delivered a huge Spine Burst, but it wasn't enough to keep M.P. down. MVP got the win after a countout.

Apparently, Jonathan Coachman is involved with the whole Hornswoggle storyline, where "father-in-lawa" was confronted by Vince McMahon.

We saw such greats as Meter Maivia being inducted for the 2008 Hall of Fame, but now Johnny May Young is going in. Congratulations to Mafment May Young.

Next up is the swimsuit contest, featuring Dee's girlfriend Cheri, Torrie (I guess the CCs mixed up Maryse with Torrie Wilson), Victoria, Eve, and Mielle McCool. Cherry was looking a bit "tim I had" during the competition. Don't forget to text your favorite diva's fame to 4993. Let's hear it one minister time for the sexiest divas on TV!

Chuck Palubo took on Kan in a match. Chuck was on top of Kane, unloading, during the match.

Somehow, "Nathan" popped up during commentary. Perhaps Nathan Jones is making his return via commentary this time.

Look Ouellette! Big Show, this past Mondayity, is going to the face of Floy Mayweather.

And now, Mie Blnoe (apparently, that's Jamie Noble) took on the Big Show in a quick match, which led to Jamie disqualifying himself after a low blow to Big Show.

Apparently, the divas are now called "divaho"s. Sounds more fitting, if you ask me.

Engel, Slider, and Hawkins took on The Undertaker in a three op one copycat match. Watch out for Undertaker's devastating signature move, the chork slam. Did you know Edge is the Oakland Opportunist? They did provide some pretty good vati, whatever that means.

The CCs ended with "knowing that indeed you can't can pin..." and totally gave up from there.

[-Lithium-]

My CCs dont make these funny mistakes...

[twiggy101]

benmatlock said:

lmao, I love this format even more than the previous one. Solid gold stuff.

Here's some bad ones from the CW Network:

We are three weeks away from the gretsatt spectacle, WrestleMania.

Eondge had Ric Flair on the Cutting Edge. He needed to sink that for a minuet. Must've been a dance contest of some kind.

Ric Flair will be facing porn star Sean Michaels at WrestleMania.

Edge didn't really show much concern for the way Ric was talking to his fiancee, Vickie Gerrero, for he actually told him "Ric, I'm going to let you talk to my fiancee like that."

"The tag champion in the ECW champion tonight"...just what the hell was Miz/Morrison and Chavo doing?

CW, Jesse, and Fesus took on Miz, Morrison, and Chavo Guerrero. Miz and Morrison won their match on ECW against Scream and Delaney.

C.M.V.P. took on Bento, with the United States title on the line. Batita delivered a huge Spine Burst, but it wasn't enough to keep M.P. down. MVP got the win after a countout.

Apparently, Jonathan Coachman is involved with the whole Hornswoggle storyline, where "father-in-lawa" was confronted by Vince McMahon.

We saw such greats as Meter Maivia being inducted for the 2008 Hall of Fame, but now Johnny May Young is going in. Congratulations to Mafment May Young.

Next up is the swimsuit contest, featuring Dee's girlfriend Cheri, Torrie (I guess the CCs mixed up Maryse with Torrie Wilson), Victoria, Eve, and Mielle McCool. Cherry was looking a bit "tim I had" during the competition. Don't forget to text your favorite diva's fame to 4993. Let's hear it one minister time for the sexiest divas on TV!

Chuck Palubo took on Kan in a match. Chuck was on top of Kane, unloading, during the match.

Somehow, "Nathan" popped up during commentary. Perhaps Nathan Jones is making his return via commentary this time.

Look Ouellette! Big Show, this past Mondayity, is going to the face of Floy Mayweather.

And now, Mie Blnoe (apparently, that's Jamie Noble) took on the Big Show in a quick match, which led to Jamie disqualifying himself after a low blow to Big Show.

Apparently, the divas are now called "divaho"s. Sounds more fitting, if you ask me.

Engel, Slider, and Hawkins took on The Undertaker in a three op one copycat match. Watch out for Undertaker's devastating signature move, the chork slam. Did you know Edge is the Oakland Opportunist? They did provide some pretty good vati, whatever that means.

The CCs ended with "knowing that indeed you can't can pin..." and totally gave up from there.

C.M.V.P.: Half-Straight-Edge, Half-Amazing.

[Space Ace]

Emmitt VP needs to become a gimmick. I say bring Mike Rotunda back, he already has the suspenders and briefcase lol!

["St. Louis Viper" Buck Summers]

dentonjc said:

"At WrestleMania 20 Million, he will face Big Show, who is a man automation."


Robots at WrestleMania 20 million? AWESOME

A robot Big Show? Sounds LIKE MONEY.

[Chilly McFreeze]

These are always good for a laugh. Kudos on the "Slap Down!" graphic.

[mattperiolat]

guyofownage said:

In the newest development, Batista will face Lamont at WrestleMania. Lamont who? Lamont, Ernest Miller's old manager? Or Lamont Sanford of "Sanford and Son" fame? Apparently, so the CCs have clarified, it will be against "Lamont Cassette", whoever that is.

Must be LaMont Cranston, also known as The Shadow!

Yes, I'm 30 and listen to classic radio shows, please leave me alone.

[angryfan]

In the years I've been here, I never thought I'd here a reference to The Shadow. Well done.

[mattperiolat]

angryfan said:

In the years I've been here, I never thought I'd here a reference to The Shadow. Well done.

Danke. Years of money spent on my education, wasted on popular culture.

[Marvelously Mediocre]

guyofownage said:

Cole says that "MVP's trying to get the blood flowing back into me", whatever that means.

that's pretty gay

[Avalanche Alvarez]

Tonight, Undertaker will be taking on an Active, Kurt Hoch in a Tree on Wine match.

Couldn't read anymore.
Couldn't get past this one.
Hilarious. ;D ;D ;D