Post by yahweh on Mar 25, 2005 4:56:44 GMT -5
Ok, R.D. and everyone else put there, check this out. What if the WWE wanted to play WCW and see how bad they could make WWXXI look? Its not that far fetched from what we have been seeing in recent years (in terms of television and non-big PPV's, not WW). Just imagine if WWXXI was booked like a horrible RAW, or worse yet, a horrible NITRO.
Read on, if you dare:
Your last chance
ok here goes:
Match 1: Rey Mysterio vs Eddie Guerrero.
Match starts off with Eddie coming to the ring intoxicated in a "worked" segment. The announcers say that Eddie succumbed to his demons. Eddie misses lots of spots, eventually Chavo comes out and tries to bring honour back to the Guerrero name by helping Eddie cheat. Still, even with Eddie being helped by Chavo, Eddie collapes in the ring (he's drunk) and Rey pins him. Rey leaves and Chavo argues with Eddie and beats him up. Chavo decides that Eddie does not deserve the name of Guerrero and makes Eddie sign a legal clause that changes his name to Eduardo Piquito. He goes by that name for the remainder of his WWE stay and plays a scott hall like character who shows up periodically drunk and wasted. The WWE kills off the legend of Eddie Guerrero in one night!
Match 2: Money in the bank ladder match
I honestly dont know how WWE can screw up this match. If anyone knows how, tell me. oh wait, Snitzky could show up and dropkick Kane off the ladder just as he grabs the briefcase, the briefcase falls into the hands of senior referee Earl hebner who wins the match and gets a contract to face the champion. the angle is forgotten about in 2 months and never mentioned again.
Match 3: Big show vs akebono
akebono shows up and is horribly injured from a previous fight a week before and is horrible in the match. the match finishes off a la Piper and Mr. T at WW2 when big show F5's akebono but screws it up and they land in a heap. both are injured and Big show is out for six months. The match ends with no explanation. Michael Cole calls the match "the most unforgettable match he has ever called at wrestlemania" akebono sues the WWE for damages that puts him out of somo wrestling for one year.
pipers pit:
piper is drunk as hell and makes sexist, homophobic, and racist comments on the live mic for 30mins before introducing stone cold steve austin who is also drunk as heck. piper says that seven years ago at wrestlemania steve beat HBK for his first title. stone cold slurs that he can do it again. stone cold drinks for 20mins and fingers the audience, and collects his paycheck from vince.
match 4: HBK vs kurt angle
as HBK goes to ringside, a very drunk stone cold rams him over with his AUSTIN 3:16 MONSTER TRUCK and puts him out of action. this kills three months of buildup to the HBK/Angle fued. However, vince always listens to austins ideas and thought this was one of austin's best ideas. marty jannety comes to the ringside and fights for HBK's honour. However, halfway during the match, marty tears a his calf and cannot fight no more. he goes to the back in extreme pain. Sherri Martel is told to go out there and save the match. Sherri martel and angle have a 20min painful match full of missed spots. Sherri martel is put into the ankle lock and wont tap out!!!! Eventually, she passes out and angle wins by default. That's right, they replayed the Stone cold/bret hart ending WW13 match ending to KURT ANGLE AND SHERRI MARTEL!!!!
Match 5: orton vs undertaker
orton and undertaker are going at it when paul bearer comes back from the dead and tries to help the undertaker win the match. Bob orton comes out (complete with cast) to try, to even things out. However, in the end it appears that bearer tries to get orton to win while bob tries to get undertaker to win, ITS A DOUBLE SWERVE!!! Orton uses the urn to knock undertaker out while all the heels come out and put undertaker in a casket and the match is over without a pinfall. Then, like in royal rumble 94, the undertaker dies and ascends to heaven. orton does the RKO on his dad and then is awarded a "undertaker belt" which is an old WWE title belt with undertakers face on it, this symbolizes him beating takers 12-0 record. And yes, randy does defend his "undertaker" belt at future PPV's.
match 6: JBL vs cena
cena is in the back when randy SAVAGE comes to cena and they freestyle for a couple of minutes. then, cena offers savage a role as his new bodyguard, like B2 was two years ago. Savage agrees, but for one night only, they freestyle once again to "BE A MAN". then the match starts, in the match JBL uses every dirty trick in the book but thanks to the macho man, cena gets the FU on JBL and pins him. However, after the match JBL cuts a promo saying that his wise wall-street brain allowed him to set up the match as a NON TITILE match and cena didnt READ THE FINE PRINT of the contract, that is why JBL is a milionaire and cena is a punk. He escapes with his title and cena is mad but then scotty 2 hotty comes to ringside and tells cena that although what JBL did sucks, he should do what scotty does to feel better, DANCE. Cena, scotty 2 hotty and THE MACHO MAN re-inanct TOO COOL and do the hip hop dance in the ring to a chorus of boos.
muhammed hasan is in the ring cutting a promo on how hulk hogan is the eptiome of american racism when all of a sudden hulk hogan comes out and him and hassan have a squash match where hogan hits hassan with his 3 wrestling moves (bodyslam, big boot and legdrop) and pins him 1,2,3. This completley kills hassan's heat and hogan celebrates in the ring for 20 mins. Because of hogan's 20 min posedown, the chavo/london match is cancelled from the WW card.
match 7: christy vs trish
christy blows a total of seven spots in the match but trish is instructed to make christy look good so trish sells the moves as if she is in a match with HHH! Christy wins the match with a Lita Moonsault which she completley misses trish by but still gets the pin. After winning the title, christy and lita celebrate in the ring where christy thanks lita for the training. then they start making out in the ring. thats right, a lesbian angle for no apparent reason!!!
match 8: HHH vs Batista
batista spends the majority of the match beating the living crap out of HHH for 40 mins!!! After hitting HHH with every single move he can think of, HHH distracts the ref and flair comes in and hits batista with a weak chairshot that batista sells like he was shot with a double barelled rifle! trips gets the pedigree and the win!!!
Then, the unthinkable happend...
HULK HOGAN comes to ringside and sees if Batista is ok. Flair gets on the mic and says that no one, NO ONE, can beat HHH. He challenges hogan to face HHH in the ring for the title. Of course, just like in WWIX hogan beats HHH in under two minutes with the legdrop and wins the WORLD TITLE. Afterwards, hogan goes on the mic and reforms the NWO for the eighth time saying "WE'RE TAKING OVER" KEVIN NASH AND SCOTT HALL come down the aisle to celebrate with hogan, when KEVIN NASH TEARS HIS QUAD walking down the aisle to the ring!!! Scott Hall, who has shown up wasted like Ausitn did, collapes in the aisle too. None of them have made it to the ring. Hogan doesnt know what to do and goes outside to check on nash and hall when he trips on the ropes and breaks his kneecap. All three members of the newly reformed NWO are injured or knocked out at ringside as we close the show by JR yelling: BAH GAWD, THE NWO ARE BACK AND UNSTOPPABLE, WHAT A WRESTLEMANIA, SLOBBERKOCKER, SLOBBERKOCKER, SLOBBERKOCKER, WRESTLEMANIA BBQ SAUCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
fade to black
Ok R.D. and fellow crappers, read it over and tell me how the WWE could top this and completley ruin the company in one PPV. By the way, RD you can use this on the website if you want.
Read on, if you dare:
Your last chance
ok here goes:
Match 1: Rey Mysterio vs Eddie Guerrero.
Match starts off with Eddie coming to the ring intoxicated in a "worked" segment. The announcers say that Eddie succumbed to his demons. Eddie misses lots of spots, eventually Chavo comes out and tries to bring honour back to the Guerrero name by helping Eddie cheat. Still, even with Eddie being helped by Chavo, Eddie collapes in the ring (he's drunk) and Rey pins him. Rey leaves and Chavo argues with Eddie and beats him up. Chavo decides that Eddie does not deserve the name of Guerrero and makes Eddie sign a legal clause that changes his name to Eduardo Piquito. He goes by that name for the remainder of his WWE stay and plays a scott hall like character who shows up periodically drunk and wasted. The WWE kills off the legend of Eddie Guerrero in one night!
Match 2: Money in the bank ladder match
I honestly dont know how WWE can screw up this match. If anyone knows how, tell me. oh wait, Snitzky could show up and dropkick Kane off the ladder just as he grabs the briefcase, the briefcase falls into the hands of senior referee Earl hebner who wins the match and gets a contract to face the champion. the angle is forgotten about in 2 months and never mentioned again.
Match 3: Big show vs akebono
akebono shows up and is horribly injured from a previous fight a week before and is horrible in the match. the match finishes off a la Piper and Mr. T at WW2 when big show F5's akebono but screws it up and they land in a heap. both are injured and Big show is out for six months. The match ends with no explanation. Michael Cole calls the match "the most unforgettable match he has ever called at wrestlemania" akebono sues the WWE for damages that puts him out of somo wrestling for one year.
pipers pit:
piper is drunk as hell and makes sexist, homophobic, and racist comments on the live mic for 30mins before introducing stone cold steve austin who is also drunk as heck. piper says that seven years ago at wrestlemania steve beat HBK for his first title. stone cold slurs that he can do it again. stone cold drinks for 20mins and fingers the audience, and collects his paycheck from vince.
match 4: HBK vs kurt angle
as HBK goes to ringside, a very drunk stone cold rams him over with his AUSTIN 3:16 MONSTER TRUCK and puts him out of action. this kills three months of buildup to the HBK/Angle fued. However, vince always listens to austins ideas and thought this was one of austin's best ideas. marty jannety comes to the ringside and fights for HBK's honour. However, halfway during the match, marty tears a his calf and cannot fight no more. he goes to the back in extreme pain. Sherri Martel is told to go out there and save the match. Sherri martel and angle have a 20min painful match full of missed spots. Sherri martel is put into the ankle lock and wont tap out!!!! Eventually, she passes out and angle wins by default. That's right, they replayed the Stone cold/bret hart ending WW13 match ending to KURT ANGLE AND SHERRI MARTEL!!!!
Match 5: orton vs undertaker
orton and undertaker are going at it when paul bearer comes back from the dead and tries to help the undertaker win the match. Bob orton comes out (complete with cast) to try, to even things out. However, in the end it appears that bearer tries to get orton to win while bob tries to get undertaker to win, ITS A DOUBLE SWERVE!!! Orton uses the urn to knock undertaker out while all the heels come out and put undertaker in a casket and the match is over without a pinfall. Then, like in royal rumble 94, the undertaker dies and ascends to heaven. orton does the RKO on his dad and then is awarded a "undertaker belt" which is an old WWE title belt with undertakers face on it, this symbolizes him beating takers 12-0 record. And yes, randy does defend his "undertaker" belt at future PPV's.
match 6: JBL vs cena
cena is in the back when randy SAVAGE comes to cena and they freestyle for a couple of minutes. then, cena offers savage a role as his new bodyguard, like B2 was two years ago. Savage agrees, but for one night only, they freestyle once again to "BE A MAN". then the match starts, in the match JBL uses every dirty trick in the book but thanks to the macho man, cena gets the FU on JBL and pins him. However, after the match JBL cuts a promo saying that his wise wall-street brain allowed him to set up the match as a NON TITILE match and cena didnt READ THE FINE PRINT of the contract, that is why JBL is a milionaire and cena is a punk. He escapes with his title and cena is mad but then scotty 2 hotty comes to ringside and tells cena that although what JBL did sucks, he should do what scotty does to feel better, DANCE. Cena, scotty 2 hotty and THE MACHO MAN re-inanct TOO COOL and do the hip hop dance in the ring to a chorus of boos.
muhammed hasan is in the ring cutting a promo on how hulk hogan is the eptiome of american racism when all of a sudden hulk hogan comes out and him and hassan have a squash match where hogan hits hassan with his 3 wrestling moves (bodyslam, big boot and legdrop) and pins him 1,2,3. This completley kills hassan's heat and hogan celebrates in the ring for 20 mins. Because of hogan's 20 min posedown, the chavo/london match is cancelled from the WW card.
match 7: christy vs trish
christy blows a total of seven spots in the match but trish is instructed to make christy look good so trish sells the moves as if she is in a match with HHH! Christy wins the match with a Lita Moonsault which she completley misses trish by but still gets the pin. After winning the title, christy and lita celebrate in the ring where christy thanks lita for the training. then they start making out in the ring. thats right, a lesbian angle for no apparent reason!!!
match 8: HHH vs Batista
batista spends the majority of the match beating the living crap out of HHH for 40 mins!!! After hitting HHH with every single move he can think of, HHH distracts the ref and flair comes in and hits batista with a weak chairshot that batista sells like he was shot with a double barelled rifle! trips gets the pedigree and the win!!!
Then, the unthinkable happend...
HULK HOGAN comes to ringside and sees if Batista is ok. Flair gets on the mic and says that no one, NO ONE, can beat HHH. He challenges hogan to face HHH in the ring for the title. Of course, just like in WWIX hogan beats HHH in under two minutes with the legdrop and wins the WORLD TITLE. Afterwards, hogan goes on the mic and reforms the NWO for the eighth time saying "WE'RE TAKING OVER" KEVIN NASH AND SCOTT HALL come down the aisle to celebrate with hogan, when KEVIN NASH TEARS HIS QUAD walking down the aisle to the ring!!! Scott Hall, who has shown up wasted like Ausitn did, collapes in the aisle too. None of them have made it to the ring. Hogan doesnt know what to do and goes outside to check on nash and hall when he trips on the ropes and breaks his kneecap. All three members of the newly reformed NWO are injured or knocked out at ringside as we close the show by JR yelling: BAH GAWD, THE NWO ARE BACK AND UNSTOPPABLE, WHAT A WRESTLEMANIA, SLOBBERKOCKER, SLOBBERKOCKER, SLOBBERKOCKER, WRESTLEMANIA BBQ SAUCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
fade to black
Ok R.D. and fellow crappers, read it over and tell me how the WWE could top this and completley ruin the company in one PPV. By the way, RD you can use this on the website if you want.
