|
Post by Gasoline: Gen. Tech Member on May 2, 2006 23:07:46 GMT -5
*The members of Generation Tech walk up to the match board to see who they're facing this week*
Spyke: Aw man, I got the Red Rooster? What the heck is up with that?
Spaz: Hey, at least you're not defending the EWT title against the jobber of all jobbers, the Brooklyn Brawler.
Gas: If I were you, I wouldn't take him very lightly.
Limey: Yeah, he does hold a pinfall over Triple H, you know. You don't want the same thing to happen to you, do you?
*Gasoline, Limey, and Spyke start cracking up. Spaz looks annoyed*
Spaz: Ha ha, very funny guys. So who do you two have this week?
Gas: Looks like we're in a 4-way tag team match with the winners becoming the #1 contenders for the tag team titles.
Limey: And so are our ol' pals The P.T.A.
Spyke: Well that should certainly be a challenge.
Gas: Yep, and one that we're willing to take so we can rid the EWT of this P.T.A. mess once and for all.
Limey: While The Nyrds and the Prophecy Reborn are great athletes, Gas and myself are going to do everything we can to win. And if The P.T.A. or anybody else has anything to say about that, then I guess life will have to GIVE....THEM.....LIMES!!!
Spaz: That's right, because we are...
All four: GENERATION TECH!
*All four head off camera as we cut to the next segment*
|
|
|
Post by #Classic Hi-Definition X on May 2, 2006 23:14:28 GMT -5
*HBH and Cherry walk up to the match board. HBH's jaw drops when he sees his match*
HBH: What in the world is Toom E thinking putting me in a match against this guy? He's only been back for what, a month? And he already gets a shot at my title?
Cherry: Relax, baby. You've got this one in the bag.
HBH: Yeah I know, but I still don't like it. Come on, let's go. I can't bear to look at this match board any longer.
*HBH and Cherry walk off*
*Cut to a commercial*
|
|
|
Post by Koda, Master Crunchyroller on May 2, 2006 23:41:51 GMT -5
*We come back from commercial*
Koda: Damn it Bolt, why did you interfere in yet another one of my matches?!
Bolt: Hey, don't snap at me! If it wasn't for me, you would've lost, or at least could've been injured from Haynes' legendary Full Nelson!
Koda: I didn't need your help! I could've easily slipped out of the hold! I'm tired of people trying to help me just because they doubt me!
Bolt: Hey, calm down man. You're going to have to at least swallow your pride, because before your match, I already asked Toom E. Dangerously to place us in a tag match next week. We are going against a random team, so we have to learn to get together.
Koda: A random team?! It could be any team from The Johnsons or Dicks all the way to AMW or Team 3-D!
Bolt: I know, but just calm down! We need to start planning for the match.
Koda: Plan for the match yourself, I'm only looking after myself in that match, I suggest you do the same.
Koda storms off into his locker room and locks the door.
*We fade to commercial*
|
|
Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
|
Post by Ragnal on May 3, 2006 0:30:17 GMT -5
*High Voltage plays as Mike Ragnal enters the arena to the crowd’s cheers. As he walks down the ramp, he slaps hands with the crowd.*
LILLIAN: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Making his way to the ring first, from Scranton, PA, he is the Master of Elemental Disaster, Mike RAGNAL!
*Mike climbs to the apron, then gets inside the ring. He then looks to the ramp, waiting for his opponent.*
LILLIAN: And his opponent…
*Barry O’s music starts playing as Barry Orton walks out, but not in any sort of ring gear. Instead, he has casual clothes on, and a mic in one hand.*
BARRY: Yeah. Hi. You must be the guy I was scheduled to wrestle, right?
*Mike is nodding his head, his arms crossed.*
BARRY: Well, I got some bad news for you, pal. I haven’t been in a wrestling ring for quite some time. I’ve been doing some writing, acting, playing music…so why should I now be getting into a ring when I’ve been doing pretty well with myself?
*Mike ain’t looking too happy at this announcement, and the crowd agrees, booing at Barry.*
BARRY: But fear not! I was able to call a replacement in for you. Perhaps you’ve heard of him?
*Mike gives him a people’s eyebrow.*
BARRY: Yeah. You all know him, in fact. I believe he’s held two belts in WWE…one for seven, the other for one.
*Mike plants his face in his palms, knowing just who exactly he’s talking about.*
BARRY: That’s right Former Intercontinental champion, and the former, and SOON TO BE 2-TIME World Heavyweight Champion…my nephew…RANDY…ORTOOOOOON!
HEY!
HEY!
HEY!
*Burning in my Light plays as Randy Orton walks out, with his sparkle show going off as he holds his arms out as he normally does. He then slowly walks down the ring to mock the crowds, and then finally gets in the ring. He climbs one of the ringposts and does his little signature pose…and Mike Ragnal gets behind him while he’s still on the post, and sets him up for a Ragnalrok! Before he can get to use the move, though, Randy is able to slide out, clumsily landing hard on the canvas. Mike gets him up off the ground and whips him into the ropes. Mike bends over, looking for a hip toss or something, but Randy stops just before then and kicks Mike in the face. Mike doubles back, and Randy throws a few punches to Mike’s face, then whips him into a corner. Randy runs at Mike, but Mike kicks him in the face, and Randy staggers back. Mike climbs the tope rope and nails a flying bulldog to Randy. Mike runs to the ropes and leaps off for a Lionsault, but Orton rolls away, and Mike lands on his feet. Randy runs at Mike, but Mike nails him with a drop toe-hold, causing him to land flat on his face. Mike runs to the ropes and hits a senton splash to Orton’s back. Mike goes to pin.*
1!2!
*Nope. Randy kicks out. Mike picks him up and whips him into the ropes, this time successfully nailing a spinebuster to Orton. Mike runs to the ropes again, looking for a Lionsault, but Orton gets his legs up and hits Mike as he comes down. Orton gets up before Mike can and delivers a few crosschops to Mike. He gives a kick to Mike’s gut and looks for the RKO, but Orton gets shoved off by Mike, then gets hoisted onto Mike’s shoulders. Mike hits the Ragnalrok and goes to pin.*
1!2!3!
*The bell rings, and the ref raises Mike’s arm. Mike asks for a mic, and gets handed one.*
MIKE: So! Bret Michaels! As much as it is that I can’t exactly brag, considering my opponents the last few weeks, I have beaten THREE former World Champions! You think I’m not ready for the Tri-State title? Just wait! I’m going to prove you wrong! I WILL win the Tri-State title, and I WILL give you a name to remember.
And the name shall forever! BE! RAGNAL!
*As High Voltage plays, Mike drops the mic and heads out of the ring. As Mike reaches the top, Orton grabs the mic.*
RANDY: Hey! Ragnal! You think you won?! You think you beat me?! Well, before our match, I took a DUMP in your gym bag! Guess who has the last laugh now!
*Mike decides to walk back down to the ring as Randy is laughing. Mike snatches the mic from Randy, and smiles.*
MIKE: Still me. See, I decided not to bring my equipment this week, since I didn’t think I was gonna wrestle long tonight. So, I lent my locker to Cancellor. Boo. Yah!
*And with that, Randy grows worried, enough to get in a fetal position, as Mike laughs his way up the ramp to the crowd’s cheers.*
|
|
|
Post by chanceconfidence on May 3, 2006 7:18:15 GMT -5
Chance comes into view on the screen as he walks by the Match Board, boredly. He decides to look over at it... noly to stop dead in his tracks.
Chance: What? A tag team match against that... feathered freak?! And I'm teaming up with... the big red retard?! What in the bloody hell?
Suddenly Chance backs up, bumping into somebody. He slowly turns around... it's Kane. Kane looks down at him.
Kane: ...
Chance: Hmmm... whatever. Stay out of my way in that match and things will be peachy keen.
Kane: ...
Chance raises an eyebrow.
Chance: Hey, tall ugly, and pathetic? You listening to me?!
Kane just stands there silently. Chance shrugs and walks off.
Chance: Whatever, I don't have time for this.
Meanwhile, Sum Guy walks onto the screen wearing a party hat and looking even dorkier than usual.
Sum: Oh boy... I can't believe that my birthday is only a few weeks away... just until... May 19th!
Kane suddenly looks over and growls angrily.
Sum: Oh boy... I love the day May 19th! It's just a great day because it's in May... plus, it's the 19th!
Kane slowly walks over to Sum staring down at him angrily. Sum looks up.
Sum: Oh... hey Kane! So you coming to my party? On... May 19th?
Kane goes nuts, beating the holy hell out of Sum Guy... who screams in agony as he's pretty much beaten half to death.
Sum: AHHH! I'M SUM GUY AND I'M UNDER ATTACK... AND IT'S NOT MAY 19TH YE...
Kane immediately knocks out Sum... then calmly walks off humming some kind of happy tune for no reason.
Fade to commercial.
|
|
|
Post by The Lach is very tired on May 3, 2006 7:40:31 GMT -5
Bobby Cruiz: The following contest is scheduled for one fall & it is for the EWT Heavyweight Championship!
*Generic Jobber music hits & the Brooklyn Brawler comes out, he gets a small reaction.*
BC: Introducing the challenger, from Brooklyn, NY, weighing in at 240 lbs he is The Brooklyn Brawler!!
*Party Starter hits & Spaz appears & gets a great pop. As he makes his way to the ring with the title & the Australian Flag an updated Toomitron video plays showing Spaz with Gen. Tech & also him with the World Title.*
BC: And his opponent, from Sydney, Australia, weighing in at 216 lbs he is the EWT Heavyweight Champion of The World, SPAZ!
*Spaz gets into the ring & he salutes all the Spazphiles. He shakes hands with The Brawler & Spaz hands the title to the ref & the bell rings. Spaz & Brawler circle each other & then they lock up Spaz gets some leverage & whips Brawler off the ropes, Spaz then nails a dropkick right on the chin. Brawler hits the mat hard but is up straight away. Brawler charges at Spaz but Spaz nails a Triple H style Facebuster. Brawler recoils & Spaz grabs him & nails a Full Nelson Suplex with a Bridge.*
1 2 NO!
*Brawler breaks the hold. Spaz is quickly up & He pulls Brawler to his feet, Brawler is playing possum & he pushes Spaz away, Spaz bounces off the ropes & Brawler picks Spaz up looking for a Powerslam but Spaz counters it & gets behind Brawler. Spaz nails a German Suplex followed by a second & a third. The crowd cheer as Spaz gets up & signals the end is here. Spaz grabs Brawler's legs & locks on the Sydney Cloverleaf. Within about 10 seconds the Brawler is tapping out.*
BC: Here is your winner by Submission & still EWT Heavyweight Champion of The World SPAZ!
*Spaz helps the Brawler to his feet & shakes his hand he then gets his title & the mic.*
S: Brell, I saw your little skit, what have I ever done to you, I have always shown you nothing less then respect. But if you cross me again you will feel The Shockwave! And this is a friendly reminder to the PTA as well, this title will be with Generation Tech for a while yet!
*Party Starter plays & Spaz heads back up the ramp.*
CUT TO PROMO FOR FULL HOUSE ON DVD
|
|
|
Post by Superior Dragon on May 3, 2006 10:32:37 GMT -5
We cut back to the Suicidal Idolz in the back, preparing for their match.
Twiz: Rock and Mankind huh? World Champs, Tag Champs, Intercontinental and Hardcore Champs,...
AS: And another victim for the Suicidal Idolz.
Twiz: Yeah, that's right. Can't forget about that.
AS: So, prepared for the Coliseum?
Twiz: Heh, you know it. And if things get a little tense, you got the big guy, and I got Curly.
AS: Don't worry. I'll handle Big.
*Psikotik then shows up behind them outta nowhere
Psikotik: Hey guys.
SI: GAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Psikotik: That always happens. Well, later.
Twiz: Yeah, later.
*Psikotik walks off as the Suicidal Idolz look at each other*
AS: What the hell was that?
Twiz: Iunno. C'mon, we got a match.
AS: Aiight.
*Twizted and American Saint walk off as we cut to a commercial for the OX Division*
|
|
|
Post by Trik Turner on May 3, 2006 13:34:47 GMT -5
(Trik approaches the Match Board & sees who he faces this week.)
Oh, for crying out loud. Pat Patterson? What's the deal? First Brooklyn Brawler. Then A-Bomb. Stevie Richards. And now Pat Patterson? I am noticing a pattern here & I do not like it...at all.
(Just then, Sum Guy walks up to Trik with mic in hand.)
Sum: Hi. I am Sum Guy & I have a birthday coming up. So Trik, tell us...how is your crusade going?
Trik: My crusade?
Sum: Yes, your crusade in wrestling every homosexual wrestler in the world. The last 4 weeks, you have been booked against some of the tops in this Rainbow Industry.
Trik: You know what, this is an outrage & flatout sexual harrasement if I ever saw any. And this company is famous for acts such as this. Look at the treatment Billy Ubermark received until he wised up...Virgin Discrimination. And now I, Trik Turner, am being faced with sexual harrasement by this company. And now I have 2 of them after me, A-Bomb & Stevie Richards. Well, you know what boys? I won't have any of this. I will NOT step in the ring with them unless it's under MY conditions. Do you understand me? MY CONDITIONS!!
Sum: And what conditions are those?
Trik: That's none of your business. Say, when did you say your birthday was?
Sum: May 19th, why?
Trik: Friend of mine was curious.
Sum: What's that mean?
(Trik turns & walks away.)
Sum: I'm Sum Guy & I....oh, hello Kane.
(Fade to commercial)
|
|
Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,412
|
Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on May 3, 2006 14:45:01 GMT -5
EWT Announcer: THe followin contest is scheduled for one fll and it is a tag-team match.
IF YA SMELL, WHAT THE ROCK, IS COOKIN'.
Announcer: First, from Daive, Florida, he is a former WWE and WCW Heavyweight Champion, he is The Rock!!
The Rock gets a decent pop as a car breaking and crashing can be heard.
Announcer: And his tag-team partner, from Long Islnad, New York, Mankind!
Mankind gets the same amount of cheers as The Rock did as Mankind enters the ring before "St. Anger" by Metallica hits.
Announcer: And their opponents, from South Of Heaven and San Juan, Puerto Rico, respectively, weighing in at a combined weight of 466 lbs., Twizted, American Saint, the Suicidal Idolz!!
The Idolz slide into the ring and pose on the tunbuckles as Rock 'n Sock look on at them. Twizted and Saint jump off the turnbuckles as American Saint decides to start the match. Rocky and Mankind are arguing on who will face Saint. Twizted gets into the ring and looks at Saint before both of them sail over the top rope and hit the R 'n S Connection with suicide planchas. Twizted kicks ROcky in the back with a quick judo kick as Saint grabs Mankind and hits a Northern Lights Suplex. Saint then grabs Rocky and tosses him into the ring before he springboards off the bottom rope and connects with an Elbow Drop as the match officialy starts.
-Ding Ding!-
The bell rings as Saint hits a frontflip leg drop right across the throat of Rocky, causing him to caugh violently. Saint picks Rocky up for a suplex, but Rocky fights out of it and hits a Russian Leg Sweep. Rocky then stomps on Saint's back before hitting an elbow drop, causing Saint to scream in pain. Rocky picks Saint up and hits a spinebuster before hitting an elbow drop to the gut. Saint gets up rather slowly and falls back into the ropes, but Rocky starts hitting him with his punches. As Rocky goes to do his taunt, Saint catches him with a kick to the gut and suprises him with A Night In Compton!!! Saint and Rock are both down as Twizted and Mankind are both waiting for a tag. Saint is the first one to get up and tags Twizted as Rock tags Mankind. Mankind gets into the ring slowly, and is met with a Shining Wizard to the face halfway there. Mankind drops and hits his face on the mat as Twizted hops over the ropes before bouncing of the ropes and hitting an Asai Moonsault. Saint rushes to the putside and clotheslines Rock while Twizted gets up and shoves Mankind into the ring. Twizted gets into the ring and positions himself as Mnkind starts to get up. Mankind is on his feet as Twizted leaps of the ropes and hits the Phoenix Splash into a DDT!!!
Crowd: Holy S***! Holy S***!
Mankind is down again as Twizted goes and tags AmSaint. AmSaint gets into the ring and leaps off of Mankind's back before jumping off, hitting a dropsault on Rock, and hitting a Lionsault onto Mankind's back!!! Saint goes for the pin...
1....
2...
3...Rocky interferes!!! AmSaint trips Rocky and grabs his legs before locking in the Sharpshooter. Mankind is u right now as AmSaint still has Rock in the submission. Mankind runs to the ring ropes and runs at AmSaint before hitting him with a kick to the back. AmSaint goes down as Mankind hits an Elbow Drop. Rock gets sent to his corner as Manind locks in a Camel Clutch. Twzited runs in and hits a front dropkick before going to the corner before the ref can tell him. AmSaint gets up and delivers a stiff kick to the back of the head as Mankind goes down. AmSaint drags Mankind to his corner before sitting on the turnbuckle and tagging Twizted. Twizted climbs the turnbuckle and stands on AmSaint's shoulders before jumping off with a Shooting Star Press! Twizted has the pin...
1 2 Kickout!
A basic manuever like that won't get the job done, and Ape casually picks Joel back up and slams him back to the mat with a ddt!
1...
2....
Rock interferes again! AmSaint's had enough as he charges t Rock and hits him with a spear!! AmSaint looks at Twizted before signaling for the end. AmSaint picks Rocky up and a suplex position as Twizted grabs Rock's feet and hits Another Reality!!! Rock is out as Mankind tarts to get up and charges at Twizted but gets hit with a Pele Kick from AmSaint. Twizted picks Mankind up and looks to hit the Last Rites as AmSaint gets in position as they hit the DoomzDay Crush! AmSaint then whispers something to Twizted and Twizted agrees. AmSaint picks Rocky up in a suplex position once more and places his feet on the ropes before hitting the Dazzling PostKill as Twizted gets Mankind in the TWIzted Face!! Mankind is trying to fight out but AmSaint kicks Mankind in the gut with Judo kicks. Mankind tries to fight out but eventually taps!!!
Announcer: Here are you your winners, Twizted and American Saint, the Suicidal Idolz!!!
Twizted and AmSaint are celebrating when Sum Guy comes running out looking half-dead. Kane follows him as Sum enters the ring and hides behind AmSaint. Kane gets into the ring and is met with a double dropkick from AmSaint and Twizted. Kane is on the outside as Twizted and AmSaint both hit him with suicide planchas. Kane is down as Twizted locks in the Cattle Mutilation and AmSaint locks in the Sharpshooter, locking in the X-Scape This!!! Sum runs to the back as security tries to pull them off. Eventually, Twiz and AmSint let go as AmSaint grabs a microphone and starts talking.
AmSaint: Hey Big!! Curly!! What you just saw was the beatdown of Rock, mankind, and Kane, courtesy of the Suicidal Idolz! Come Coliseum, if you wanna try us, we'll be more than happy to accept, becaus we DO THE DAMN THING!!!!!
Twizted: B****!
"St. Anger" hits as AmSaint and Twizted head to the back as we fade to a commecial for Paul Birchill.
Commercial: ARRR MATEYS!!!!!!!
|
|
Limey
Unicron
It's been awhile.
Posts: 3,062
|
Post by Limey on May 3, 2006 16:14:01 GMT -5
*We are backstage, where Sum Guy is beaten and bruised (and kind of delerious), and still has a party hat on.*
Sum: I'm Sum Guy...and I think one of my ribs is stabbing me. I'm here with Carla O Woe...one of the GND's veterans, and a good friend of mine....
Carla: Thank you, Sum.
Sum: Now...Carla...you've drawn up against Miss Rachael Lee Cook in the nice and fluffy...Queen of the Ring...now...thoughts, please?
Carla: Rachael Lee Cook...the lady with the same name as that other girl, and who looks just like her. Well...first and foremost, I hope damn well she can wrestle better than the other RLC. And secondly, I hope she can keep up with me, because there's nothing that would be a greater honour than becoming Queen of the Ring...and saying that I beat the best of the GND to do so. RLC, I know that you're new, but I won't hold back...and neither should you, girl.
Camera guy: Aaaaaand cut.
Sum: Hey, great interview, Carla.
Carla: Thanks, man. Hey, you still throwing that wild birthday party?
Sum: Yup! My house for keggers and DDR!!!
Carla: DDR, huh? Can't wait to school you there, Sum!
Sum: Heh, yup. My house, 4pm until the next morning, MAY....20th!!!
Carla: 20th?
Sum: I have to hold it on the weekend...Toomi's making me push envolopes on my actual birthday.
Carla: Huh...well, third time's lucky, I guess. I thought damn sure you were going to once again say May...
Sum: DON'T SAY MAY 19TH!!!!
*We see Kane standing there, developing a mad look in his eyes.*
Sum: ...I said it.
Carla: Yep....uh...sorry for provoking you to saying it.
Sum: (calmly) No, no. It's OK. Speak to you soon?
Carla: Yeah, sure. Hey, want me to call security?
Sum: (still calm) Oh, would you? That'd be wonderful. See you!
Carla: Bye, Sum.
*Carla walks off as Kane begins to beat up Sum Guy with unstoppable fury.*
|
|
Spyke the Pacers Fan
El Dandy
Still hates himself for missing the last episode of Murder She Wrote
Go Indiana!
Posts: 8,061
|
Post by Spyke the Pacers Fan on May 3, 2006 18:47:44 GMT -5
(Spyke is shown sitting in a chair in the middle of his locker room, talking to Limey on a cellphone)
Spyke: So yeah, good luck with your tag match. I know you and Gasoline will be one step closer to bringing the Tag Titles home to Generation Tech... ...alright, see ya, man.
(Spyke hangs up phone and puts it in his bag)
Spyke: (to himself) Man, I still can't belive I got stuck in a match with the Red Rooster. I have to start requesting my opponents in the future, or something. (muttering) Friggin' Terry Taylor...
(knock at the door)
Spyke: Yeah, come in.
(Suddenly, Dr. Insaneo runs on camera and dropkicks Spyke right out of his chair! Spyke rolls backwards then snaps up and spears Dr. Insaneo out of the locker room and into the hallway. They continue to brawl through the backstage area. Steve Williams is about to hit Spyke with a chair, when suddenly...)
Voice Off-Camera: HEY!
(Spyke and Insaneo stop fighting. The camera pans over and shows Principal Pain standing next to Canceler.)
Pain: Listen up, children! Canceler is looking for a fight, and since he wants avenge his loss to you, Insaneo, and thinks the Generation Tech dweebs are easy pickin's, he feels the need to destroy both of you!
Spyke: Well then, Canceler, just bring it!
Insaneo: Oh please! I'll take both of you, all's I need is a good chair or ladder.
Pain: Hold on, ladies! Canceler isn't gonna destroy you tonight. Then how could he take the Toolshed Title at the PPV?
Insaneo: What are you talking about?! He's not in the match!
Pain: He wasn't in the match until about 10 minutes ago. I talked to Toom E, and he agreed to let Canceler into your little "Technical vs. Hardcore" match. So now, it's gonna be "Technical vs. Hardcore... vs. POWER!!!" Show 'em, Canceler!
(Canceler picks up a wooden folding table and breaks it over his knee, then Pain holds up a steel chair, which Canceler proceeds to punch a hole through.)
Pain: Heheheheh, the POWER of the P.T.A. will rule over you both! See ya later boys! Class dismissed! Hahahahaha!
(Pain walks away laughing, the camera pans back to Dr. Insaneo and Spyke looking on in shock. Cut to commercial)
|
|
Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
|
Post by Ragnal on May 3, 2006 19:06:28 GMT -5
*Joe Ragnal is backstage watching the segment, looking a bit unhappy.*
JOE: Dammit! These guys are already thinking that Insaneo's gonna be the Toolshed Champion by the next PPV! I'm gonna have to start giving it my all tonight...and heck, even if I LOSE, I'm sure I'll be getting into that match somehow.
JOSH: Joe?
JOE: Yo?
JOSH: A lot of people are questioning, just why are you of all people so interested in the Toolshed Division? A man of your high flying ability would surely do well in the Ox Division.
JOE: You wanna know why? I'll tell you why, Matthews. It's because Dr. Insaneo, the current "champion" is nothing more than the King of Backyardigans. He has no real skill inside the ring, except to beat people over the head with a steel chair! He's like Necor Freaking Butcher or something, and even that guy stinks up the ring! The reason he's even champion right now is luck. Luck because time ran out before Paul E. Podanski was able to get the three count. And the reason I'm here is to show these Backyardigans that hardcore wrestling is not just beating the shit out of your opponent for no reason. Nuh uh. I don't play like that. When I get into the ring for a hardcore match, I like to be INVENTIVE with the toys I have. Let's take last week for example. I placed a goddamn trampoline under the ring for some good usage. And how did I use it? It wasn't just to jump off of, no. I used the trampoline to springboard suplex Mankind right onto the freaking announce table! That hindered him a little, AND it gave the crowd something new to see. And the week before with JBL. When I called for that Hardcore match against him, sure, I did hit him with the chair at the beginning. But I had other uses for it as well. THAT is being innovative! And Dr. Insaneo isn't exactly...innovative. He's just using the chair however he wants. But look at me, Doc. I am the Innovator of FUN! I have beaten former Hardcore AND WWE Champions two weeks in a row! I was using the atmosphere AND the weapons of choice to wow the crowd, NOT to beat Mankind's skull in even further! So I have a few words for you and your Death Doctor there...
It's playtime. So get ready. Because you and I...are gonna have a little FUN!
|
|
|
Post by HMARK Center on May 3, 2006 21:43:02 GMT -5
<The camera pans in on the feet of two men; each is wearing a robe that comes down near their feet. As the camera pans up, it's clear that it's HMark and Moxie. HMark is in his usual long leather jacket fashioned like a priest's robe, with the red tassels on each lapel coming down near the floor, with his sunglasses on and hood up. Moxie is donning a long leather coat as well, but his is sleeveless, and the tassel is strapped diagnally across his chest, like a deacon; he wears his usual outfit under it, but seems to be giving his new threads a look over>
HMark: We told you that it wouldn't take long. Just a few weeks ago, the Prophecy Reborn made it's full-blown return to action in the EWT. After such a long hiatus, we have finally reached what we have been anticipating since our reunion: a #1 Contender's Match for the EWT Tag Team Titles.
Now, I will make one thing clear immediately: the Prophecy Reborn operates under a code that preaches competition at it's purest. You see, <takes off shades slowly, throws hood back>, we are the best there is, was, and <the crowd cheers a bit at hearing HMark's vintage catchphrase>...well, you know the rest...that there is in the EWT. We don't need four corner matches, or "Tornado" rules, or anything like that to prove that there are none who can better us in the ring.
But that's alright. This is a case where we can make an exception; because, you see, the EWT tag division has proven itself so strong, so prestigious, that a #1 Contender's match warrants having four teams in it. Hell, the division is so deep, that this match doesn't even include the Ragnals or Midget King and Company, two of the biggest...well, not so much in Midget King's case, but two of the winningest teams in this company.
Moxie: But it's like we said: no matter how good they are, there are none who can beat the P.R.
Nyrds - you may have been unpopular in high school, but you're now two of the most popular guys in the EWT. Champions, with an eternal grudge against the Handsome Boys...hell, you even teamed with HMark here back at the Chamber of Horrors. But you couldn't out-wrestle us in your wildest, Nintendo-fueled fantasy. Bring all the flashy moves you want; you won't be pulling them off once your arms are seperated from their sockets.
PTA - apparently, you're the new big boys on campus, the bullies at recess trying to get everyone to pay attention to you. <gets a serious look> As far as we're concerned, you haven't proven @#$%. <crowd pops> Yeah, you looked alright in the Elimination Chamber, but what have you shown against true EWT icons? And where will you turn against three teams that couldn't have any less use for you, especially your arch-rivals...
<takes a breath, as HMark chuckles>
Generation Tech. Gasoline, you've been in this show longer than almost anyone here, except this guy standing next to me. We all know what you're about. But Limey...Limey, old pal, it's time to reopen the long, epic book that is our history. We feuded for the World Title, and, you know what? When you bested me, I respected you. I offered you my hand.
But now we begin again, both of our waists' bare, a clean slate for the two of us. But this time, it's Moxie who'll be moving on to the top, with some help from the legend over here. You've taken to calling yourself our "Personal Jesus"? <smirks> Just remember who took that moniker first. <points to self>
HMark: <takes the forefront again> And Limey, Gas, do me a favor. Give your boy Spaz a message. Tell him the Prophecy Reborn respects the hell out of him...<stares intently at the camera> but remind him of what he's holding onto. Our belt.
And THAT...is Gospel.
|
|
|
Post by respectmeordye3 on May 4, 2006 10:20:25 GMT -5
The familiar fancy music starts back up as the ring and ramp are redecorated and the actors posing as Generation Tech take their places seated in the ring once again.
Again Mitchell Brell comes out along with Lars Cunningham and Brell grabs a mic
"Now then why don't we show the next contender of our little film awards show?" He chuckles .
The crowd booes so loudly that it's almost impossible to hear Brell carry on.
"Our next contender is...Spyking The Monkey."
The arena darkens and Brell and his cohort Lars turn to the big screen once again as the movie begins.
"Spyke" wanders on screen and sighs.
Spyke: I am such a talentless lonely has-been hack-I need someone I know will never hurt any kind of loving relationship I'd have with them....but who could I possibly trust?"
he wanders back and forth a few times and then stops.
"Eureka! I'll just have an improper relationship with my mother--after all that IS how my family came to be...oh I'm soooo happy!"
The words "The End " appear on screen as the lights come up and Brell and Lars are shown to be laughing quite hard.
Brell wipes the tears from his eyes and points to the screen "Very impressive--let's see if our next contender can equally impress us--It's titled Soylent Gasoline"
The lights go down again and as Brell and Lars watch the screen the movie begins.
"Gasoline" is shown wrestling a midget wrestler--the midget easily beats him by poking him in the chest and sending him to the mat for the three count.
As "Gasoline" wanders through the hallways of the arena he sadly wonders aloud as to why he has no talent or skill of any kind. then he spies a weird looking staircase and wanders down it. Hiding behind a row of trashcans he pokes his head over and spies something off-camera. "No wonder I'm so bad at wrestling--and everything else in life!" he gasps "The authorities drain it out of me little by little to use as a main ingredient in rat poisons and energy drinks--it all makes sense now!"
THE END appears on screen and the lights come back up.
Brell and Lars stop laughing long enough for Brell to grab the mic and introduce the last movie contender as "The Incredible Mr. Limey"
The lights go down and Brell and Lars turn their attention back towards the screen--they don't notice as the real members of Generation Tech enter the ring, beat up the actors playing them and toss the phonies out of the ring.
The movie begins:
"Limey" is shown looking down into a toilet "I know my wrestling skill is crappy" he sighs "I just wish-with all my might-that I was literally a turd" suddenly he falls forward with a scream....
A closeup of the inside of the toilet bowl is shown as an animated turd made to resemble Limey falls into the toilet bowl.
"Yaaaaaaaaahhhhhhooooo!" screams the cartoon turd "My wish came true I am happy now!"
The End appears on screen as the lights come up and Brell and Lars---stop laughing .
"And the winner of the Brell Film award is........."
Brell opens an enelope and his jaw drops "Well what do you know....ladies and gentlemen, we have a four-way tie, All the members of Generation Gap have won-congrats to you all--please come up and get your awards if you would!"
Suddenly and without warning Generation Tech attacks Brell and Lars--Brell is immedeitly clotheslined to the outside of the ring where he lies unconious on the floor--Lars meanwhile is actually able to hold his own and does quite well in fighting the members of Generation Tech off--that is until Limey grabs a chair and smashes it over the self-proclaimed American Bodydonna's head.
With that the others grab chairs as well and begin to beat the living daylights out of Lars and turning him into a bloody mess.
He barely manages to escape the ring, but he does hardly able to stand, and he and the awakening Brell stumble backstage glaring angrily at The members of Generation Tech......
|
|
|
Post by paulpodanski on May 4, 2006 11:57:01 GMT -5
Hoss Matthews looks over next to him, looking a bit... well, disturbed.
Hoss: Ummm... I'm here right now with... why did he come back? Paul... Poo
The screen pans over showing Paul in his old horrible looking Paul Poo clothes.
Paul: Hello Mr. Hoss... can't you see? You don't like poo... as much as me.
Hoss: That's... kinda obvious Paul.
Paul grins wide.
Paul: Mr. Hoss... it's okay. There's nothing you really need to say. I used to be in the closet about my love too. But now I'm happy to say I've proclaimed my public love for poo!
Hoss gags.
Hoss: Mr... Paul Poo, how do you feel this week about going up against Sika?
Paul thinks a bit.
Paul: Sika Sika... run away. I'm going to beat you today. Sorry to say, but it's true. Feel free to run away before I get to you.
Paul grins again.
Paul: And HeidenDorf, listen you see... The title you hold will belong to me.
Hoss: What? Ummm... Mr. Poo... Heidendorf hasn't been in the EWT in weeks... or months. And I'm pretty sure he isn't holding a belt.
Paul laughs disturbingly and peeks abck at Hoss.
Paul: Mr. Hoss... please don't lie. It'd be a shame if you had to die. Rest assured, I'll pay this test. Because... Paul Poo is the best.
Paul walks off to... do you really want to know?
Hoss: Wow... that guy is seriously screwed up in the head or something...
|
|
|
Post by Toom E. Guci on May 4, 2006 15:12:32 GMT -5
*Toom E Dangerously comes walking out towards the ring, the EWT Heavyweight Championship in his hands. He hops into the ring & sets the title down on a table. Toom E stands above the table then something lowers from the ceiling. As it gets to the bottom, Toom E attaches the championship belt to it as it's hoisted up. Toom E then takes the microphone off the table that was placed there.* Well folks...it has come time now. Time for me to announce the future of the Lucky 21. You see, we could keep competing for a #1 Contender. But what fun would that be? We could hold a battle royal, but that's been done before. We can hold a Royal Pain In the Ass Rumble, but...yeah, I know. And Gauntlets...well, Gauntlets have been done twice already & Spaz was in one of them. So, instead I thought to myself. And I came up with a brand new, innovative match that has NEVER been done in professional wrestling. And this match will take place LIVE next week on Must See TV, as EWT's Maim Event will mark it's return to NBC on Thursday, May 11th, 2006. You see, the Lucky 21 will make their way to the ring for some extra action next week besides their usually matches on EWT TV. And those 21 will be joined by Spaz in that very ring to make 22. And, to round up the bunch...we will have not 1, not 2, but 3 suprise particpants who will be announced at a later date, as we are waiting for return calls & terms to make this an even odd number of 25. Those 25 men will battle it out in the ring in a 25 men, over the top rope battle royal. And, as each man is eliminated one by one, the match will come down to 2 men. And those 2 men will use a ladder. Those 2 men can use chairs. Those 2 men can use tables. And by the end of the night, one man will climb up that ladder to the top, reach for that coveted prize up above, & will either retain or become EWT's finest Heavyweight Champion of the world after winning the first ever TLC Battle Royal And now the question is...who will survive in that 25? *Fade to commercial*
|
|
|
Post by kokobware3 on May 4, 2006 17:25:53 GMT -5
*Insaneo is in his locker room laying on a bench, with reporters around him.*
Insaneo- Ahhh, I see what you guys are here for...
Reporter -Insaneo! What are your feelings about being in a TLC Battle Royal for the EWT Heavyweight title?
Insaneo- Well you see *shows the crowd the Toolshed Championship* that EWT Heavywieght Title will look good in this collection, who thinks?
Reporter- How can you be so damn sure? I mean there are 25 other guys in that match!
Insaneo- Hold it now Muchacho...Im the best damn competer in this business. I haven't lost in a PPV yet...dont be so sure that I wont win...Okerland was so damn sure I wasnt going to win at Full House...and look at this *slaps belt on shoulder* I got this peice of gold.
Reporter- What about this match at the next PPV!? 3 men for that title on your shoulder, how do you feel?
Insaneo- Lets see, we got Spyke. The gay dancer from Sweden, who if you didnt know, I have between twice...and I have faced him twice. Then we have the Canceler, dont even get me started on him. That stupid ogre...that was the easiest win in my whole life...no sweat.
Reporter- What about these rumors...are you really training a youngster to come hear in EWT?
Insaneo- So they have leaked out about Perry have they? You will see the phenom that is Perry Ross very soon.
Reporter- So you are saying his name is Perry Ross?
Insaneo- Look everybody John Madden is here to point out the obvious! No crap! Yes his name is Perry Ross, and he will be one of the greatest wrestlers of all-time. Trust me...trust me. Alright everyone time to leave i got some uhhhhh...."duties" to take care of...in private.
*Jesica Alba walks in and Insaneo greets her with a kiss*
|
|
|
Post by wrath on May 4, 2006 17:39:57 GMT -5
*In the backstage area we find Ghost Face sitting upon some crates. Standing beside him is Sum Guy, mic in hand. He has the hood of his black jacket pulled tightly over his head, some strands of pale blond hair hanging out.*
Sum Guy: I'm Sum Guy and I'm standing here with Ghost Face. Your next match is going to be against a hardcore legend. The deranged Mankind. Any thoughts?
Ghost Face: ..He will probably try to shove his fingers in my mouth..but he will look like a fool..
..Because I did that all the time in high school..
...You are just Sum Guy, that much is clear...
...And Mankind only has one and a half ears...
...His mind was lost a long time ago, somewhere in space...
...Now I'm going to kick in his face...
Sum Guy: You aren't worried? Not in the least bit? Not even a little?
Ghost Face: ...Mankind has yet to know true pain...
...The blood that flows through him, the mat..it shall stain..
...I'll rid him of his remaining ear...
...Even someone like him has to know fear...
Sum Guy: ...But...isn't it true that the only reason your taking part in this match...is because Mr.Dangerously wouldn't call it off? Even after you tried to bribe him?
*Ghost Face slides off the crate and glares at Sum..*
Ghost: ...Yes.
*Pouting, he walks away from the camera..*
|
|
Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
|
Post by Ragnal on May 4, 2006 18:19:44 GMT -5
*Sum Guy starts walking away from his interview with Ghost Face, and bumps into Mike Ragnal.*
MIKE: Aw man, not you again.
SUM: Mike, we just heard word of the TLC Battle Royale, which will determine a new EWT World Heavyweight Champion. Do you have any thoughts?
MIKE: My thoughts? Yeah. My thoughts are that this isn't being innovative. This is just taking two ideas from someone else and combining them together to LOOK original. A Battle Royale into a TLC match, GEE WHIZ that sounds fun! Can ya sense the sarcasm, Sum?
SUM: Well, is there anone in particular for this match you're looking forward to?
MIKE: Kinda. I made a laundry list of these guys, so you'll just have to bear with me a second.
*Mike pulls out a list of the names involved in the TLCBR*
MIKE: "The Viper" Tony Chang-Ah yes. The Connection's Protege. He seems to be pretty impressive, but since he won't have Kendo in his corner this match, who knows how he'll do? Mike Ragnal-Mike Ragnal?! What the hell is a Rag-oh wait. That's me! THAT'S what a Ragnal is, you MORONS! Geez, these guys think they can get away with taunting someone's last name. Not funny, I tells ya. Chance Confidence-Ah, right. Yet another guy who's won the Tri-State title. Impressive, but c'mon, Sum, you can't compare him to the Master of Elemental Disaster! Mike Hodgson-Hm. Well...he's one half the Nyrds, former EWT Tag champion...but...I just can't see him win. I'm sorry. Moxie-At year's start he was on top of the world. Now he's teaming with his former mentor. As much as I'd like to see Moxie a two-time champion, I think I see tag gold in his future? Scott Andrews-Um...who? Is this on of those Third Rate Warrior guys? Who did he beat again to advance?! God, does anyone know anything about this guy? Anyone?! Principal Pain-WHAT?! You gotta be kidding me! What'd he do, get all his boys to dive off the posts and headbutt his opponent to death? Pain doesn't seem to be the best when it comes to wrestling, and he needs to stick to his big gaurd Cancellor. Limey-Oh yes. The man who I hold my first victory over an EWT star. A former tag and World champion, just before Spaz won the gold. I say that this time, Limey brings my life his limes, but in the end...I make limeade with 'em! HeartBreak Hitman Bret Micheals-Oh...OH HOHOHOHOOOOO! The very man I seek to beat for his Tri-State title! Maybe if I win this, Bret, I won't have to worry about your Tri-State belt! But that doesn't mean I'm not keeping my eye off of you. I know enough to expect your Sweet Chin Muzak coming right into my face! So don't forget me as I smile looking at your fallen body! Dorf-Dorf might think this is his time, but in reality, I'm going to show him who's time it really is! Erik Majors-The Elite guy? Dang. Who'da thought? Jason Maverick-Another one of these guys? Geezus, how do they get in here?! Who did they beat, Barry Horrowitz or somethin? Eddie Omega-The guy from Sci-Fi house or whatever? I bet he goes to a Scientology college. Dr. Insaneo-This guy's in here? Huh. Nah. I doubt it. Knowing how my brother Joe is, I don't even think Insaneo's even gonna make it into the building for this match. Koda Kazar-I gotta be honest. I don't know a damn thing about the kid. Crauswell-*mocking Crauswell*Oh, whaaaa! Furries are discriminated against, and I hate that! Whaaaaa! *end sarcasm* Blah blah blah your needs, pal. I suggest you stick your little papier mache gryphon tail between your legs and hightail it before I do it for you. HitmanMark-Ah, right. The American Dragon. Hopefully this match will help him rebound from his feud with Turner. gasoline-Big Daddy Gas. Yet another member of the GenTech. As I've said before, Gas, you've done good since you split off from Bret. Now let's see how close you can get to that title without him keeping you down once more. American Saint-This is one of those guys Joe labelled as ICP Wannabes, right? A Juggalo or whatever? Eh. Should be a snap. Deamon Cohln-Cohln. Nice name. Kinda pokes some fear into your opponent, huh, Deamon? I think you've done pretty well as of late. The question is, though, do you think you're ready to step up? Are you prepared to make the Cohln family name as recognized as the Ragnal family name? Only time will tell. A-Bomb-Yet ANOTHER former champion ready to take back his throne. The fact that so many of them are in this match doesn't help me much.
And then of course, there's three mystery guys that we won't find out about until later. For the love of God, he's done this with the Queen's Court Rumble, he did this House Party, for the love of God, NOBODY LIKES MYSTERY OPPONENTS!
And then finally, we have the EWT World Heavyweight Champion himself, Spaz. He's spent possibly more time in this circle than most of us have. He's been a two time OX champion, he's been here since before the first Crapamania, he's apart of the biggest stable yet in EWT...and he's accomplished a dream. And that's a dream 24 others plan to accomplish when we all enter the ring. I might win, I might lose. But I know this much. I will give a good number of these men a name to remember as they're tossed over the rope, and down to the floor.
And that name...shall forever! Be! RAGNAL!
|
|
|
Post by Poker Joker on May 4, 2006 19:36:10 GMT -5
(The scene opens up with the E.W.T. arena crowd in an angry frenzy as the arena's sound system plays "Look At This Face!" Making her way down the asile with her little dog, Fru-Fru, in tow is Moniqua. Behind her follow the reigning E.W.T. Tag-Team Champions, each wearing matching silver-and-gold tights, and their tag-team title belts around their waists. Billy has his leather coat drapped over one shoulder, and Ultimo Chocula is obnoxiously chewing on a wad of bubble gum. Both have big smiles on their faces as they step into the ring. Billy hands his jacket to Moniqua and Chocula spits his gum out onto the arena floor. Moniqua steps out of the ring as the announcer gets things going.)
*ANNOUNCER*: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall and is for the E.W.T. Tag-Team Championship! Currently in the ring, accompanied by their manager, Moniqua, and weighing in at a combined weight of 458 lbs, are the reigning E.W.T. Tag-Team Champions... Billy "The Virgin" Ubermark and Ultimo Chocula.... The Handsome Boys Modeling School!
(Billy and Chocula remove their belts, stand in the middle of the ring, and hold them up for the audience to get a good look at. The crowd roars with boos and taunts as the Handsome Boys hold their pose for a couple of seconds. Suddenly, "Crank It Up" by Jimmy Hart starts playing throughout the arena, and the crowd bursts into cheers.)
*ANNOUNCER*: And their opponents, making their way to the ring area and weighing in at 497 lbs. Jim Power and Paul Roma..... The Young Stallions!
(Roma and Powers burst out from behind the curtain and start high-fiving fans as they make their way down the entry ramp. As they do so, Ultimo Chocula snatches the microhpone away from the announcer.)
*UC*: Alright! Alright! Hold up! HOLD UP! Somebody cut that music!
(The music stops playing, and Powers and Roma stop at about half-way down the entry ramp. They stare into the ring at Billy and Chocula.)
*UC*: Look, you guys have been using the same entrance music since the mid-80's! I don't know if you've noticed this, but the calendar year is currently 2006! I think its time for a change.
(Powers gives Roma a quick look before turning his attention back to the guys in the ring.)
*UC*: So, Billy and I surfed the internet, yesterday, and we downloaded some new theme music for you that's not only different, but more appropriate! So with that in mind, would the high school drop-outs in the back PLEASE play the Stallions' new entrance music!
(The Young Stallions' new music starts playing. It turns out to be the theme song from the "Mr. Ed" television series. Powers and Roma give each other exasperated looks as the walk the rest of the way down to the ring. The crowd boos without mercy, but inside the ring Billy and Chocula pay no attention. They're laughing so hard at their own joke that they have to support one another to remain standing. Finally, Ultimo Chocula recovers enough to stand and speak under his own power.)
*UC*: OK, my little ponies! C'mon in here!
(Powers and Roma climb into the ring. Ultimo Chocula sizes them up from the middle of the ring.)
*UC*: Good Lord, Billy, would you take a look at this? So THESE are the Young Stallions? I wouldn't bet my weekly bus pass on these so called Stallions finishing a race, much less winning one! In fact, I'd bet that they'll pull up lame out of the gate!
(Billy starts laughing, uncontrollably, again. Chocula keeps on running his mouth.)
*UC*: Talk about not growing old gracefully! How long have you guys been calling yourselves the "YOUNG Stallions?" Twenty years? You guys are in your 40's, for Pete's Sake! You're not YOUNG Stallions, anymore! You're a couple of OLD NAGS! They don't enter horses your age into the Kentucky Derby! They put them out to pasture, and then shoot 'em!
(Billy is now doubled over with laughter. Powers and Roma look pissed as Chocula continues on.)
*UC*: How pathetic is this? You guys calling yourselves "Stallions" is a slap in the face to every famous horse in history! All of them! Secratariet.... Seabiscuit.... Black Beauty... The Ford "Mustang".... Silver... Trigger... Quick-Draw McGraw, who really IS Dr. Phil's cousin, by the way! Its time to grow up and face the reality, boys. You two are no longer young, and you're definitely not a couple of stallions. And to top it all off, you're in the ring with a couple of BONAFIED STUDS who are going to make you two look like the broken-down plow horses you really are.
(The crowd boos, visciously, as Billy Ubermark finally recovers enough to take the microphone, himself.)
*BU*: I hope you two brought an extra set of horseshoes with you, because you're both going to need a lot of luck if you wanna last in the ring with us. But, before we ship you two off to the glue factory,.... just to show you that we're not a couple of heartless jerks,.... Chocula and I have a little something for you. We decided we'd give you guys the same offer we gave our last opponents and let you have an extended LOOK at the E.W.T. Tag-Team Titles.
(Chocula nods his head and claps his hands for everyone to see. The crowd, however, continues to boo, and the Stallions seem to have about had it with Billy and Chocula. )
*BU*: You see, we know you guys never really ammounted to much as a tag-team... and, frankly, considering how old you are, now,.... and since you never were that talented, even when you were younger.... you probably never will. So we just thought we'd give you guys an extended glimps of these belts. That way, you can dream about being Tag-Team Champions, just like you have for your entire careers.
(With that, Billy and Chocula each hold out their tag-team titles for Roma and Powers to get a look at, but the Young Stallions aren't having any of this. They rush at Billy and Chocula. The Handsome Boys are ready for them, though, Powers tries to clothesline Billy Ubermark, but Billy simply ducks him. Powers turns around to get the jump on Billy, but Billy nails him square in the jaw with a super kick and Powers goes down to the canvas.
At the same time, Paul Roma goes after Ultimo Chocula. He tries to nail Chocula with a punch, but Chocula blocks and counters with a series of punches of his own. Chocula eventually whips Roma into his own corner's turnbuckles, and then follows him up with a Stinger Splash. Roma grabs his chest in pain, and Chocula then helps him out of the ring by tossing him through the ropes. As this goes on, the ref calls for the bell.)
*BELL RINGS*
(Billy Ubermark picks Jim Powers off the canvas, and Chocula heads for the middle of the ring. Chocula motions for Billy to whip Chocula into the ropes. Billy does so, and Powers is sent running into the far ropes. He bounces off and Chocula nails him with a drop-toe hold that brings Jim Powers to his knees. Billy Ubermark runs off the other set of ropes and comes in with a running dropkick to the ribs of Powers. Powers rolls over in pain as Billy jumps to his feet with his hands up in the air as if looking for praise from the crowd. The ref finally decides to regain controll, however, and orders Billy out of the ring. Chocula grabs Jim Powers, meanwhile. He stands Powers up, turns him around, and hits him with an atomic drop. Powers falls forwards and lands on all fours, again. Chocula follows up with a double-axe handle to the small of Powers' back, followed by a series of hard stomps to the same area. Powers collapses all the way to the floor as Chocula continues to stomp on his lower back.
Chocula then pulls Powers back up to the all-fours position and climbs on top of his back. He wraps his hands around the chin and pulls back in a Camel Clutch. The ref gets down on the floor and asks Powers if he wants to give up. Powers shakes his head "no," and at hearing this, Chocula releases the hold with one of his hands and starts driving a closed fist repeatedly into Powers' face. The ref starts a 5-count on Chocula to break the hold. Chocula stops with the punches at "4" and then lets Powers fall face first to the canvas, afterwhich Chocula administers a swift kick to the ribs for good measure. The ref admonishes Chocula for his actions, but Chocula just brushes him away. Chocula reaches down and picks Powers up off the canvas by his wrestling shorts. Once he's got Powers on his feet, Chocula gives him a quick slap to the back of the head to add insult to injury. Chocula grabs Powers around the waist from behind and hits him with a pendulum backbreaker. Powers slides off Chocula's knee and goes to the canvas, and Ultimo goes for a cover.)
1.....2.... Powers kicks out.
(Chocula drags Powers over to their corner by one leg. He tags in Billy Ubermark and grabs Powers' legs to keep him in place. Billy grabs the top rope and does a senton-style plancha into the ring across Powers' stomach. Chocula lets go of Powers' legs and gets out of the ring to let Billy take over. Billy rolls Powers onto his belly and then lifts him into a kneeling position. Billy sizes Powers up and then nails him with a dropkick to the face. Powers shoots backwards onto his back. Billy drags Powers by the leg back towards the middle of the ring. He then twists Powers legs around and puts him in a Figure-Four. The ref comes over and asks Powers if he wants to give up. Paul Roma, however, comes into the ring and kicks Billy in the head to break up the hold. Ultimo Chocula dashes into the ring and to chase Roma out, but the ref stops him and directs him back to his corner. Roma leaves the ring, himself, and gets an applause from the fans for his actions.
Billy Ubermark and Jim Powers are now both making their way to their feet. Billy tries to punch Powers in the jaw, but Powers blocks him. Powers fires back with a couple of punches of his own and connects with both of them. He whips Billy into the ropes. Billy bounces off and runs at Powers. Powers leapfrogs Billy and sends him into the opposite ropes. Powers now tries for a shoulderthrow as Billy comes running back, but Billy counters by snagging Powers and nailing him with a running swinging neckbreaker. Powers is on the ground grabbing the back of his own neck. Billy lifts him up and whips him into the corner where Paul Roma is waiting. Billy dares Roma to make the tag and get in the ring with him, which he does. Roma charges at Billy, who takes him down with an arm drag in the middle of the ring. Roma gets back up and Billy hits him with another arm drag take-down. Roma gets up, again, and runs at Billy. This time Billy catches him with a shoulder throw that sends Roma into the air and landing behind Billy in the seated position. Billy turns around and quickly nails a dropkick to the back of the head on Roma. Roma falls to the canvas. Billy stands up and looks for praise from the crowd, but the only one who applauds him is his partner. Billy is instead greeted with a series of harsh boos, which he waves off with a shrug. Billy lays down across Paul Roma for a cover.)
1....2..... Roma kicks out.
(Billy give the ref a dirty look and claims it was a three-count. The ref simply ignores Billy. Billy stands up and drags Paul Roma to his feet with him. He whips Roma into one of the corners of the ring. Roma hits the turnbuckles hard, and then Billy rushes in after him and connects with a Monkey Flip. Roma goes flying and lands on his back towards the middle of the ring. Roma sits up, gingerly, as Billy gets to his feet. Billy let Roma get to his feet with his back toward Billy. Billy watches Roma get all the way up and then moves in to try for the "Virgin Sacrafice!" Billy gets his hands around Roma's head for the move, but Roma lunges forwards to break the hold before Billy can execute the move. He grabs onto the ropes to catch his breath. Ultimo Chocula, however, quickly grabs his head and executes a hot shot from the ring apron. Roma staggers backwards towards Billy, who immediately nails the "Virgin Sacrafice" on him! Billy goes for the cover.)
1.....2..... Billy jerks Paul Roma's shoulder up for him to break the count!
(The crowd screams with outrage, and the ref yells something at Billy, but Billy tells him to "Can it!" Billy gets up and drags Paul Roma to a standing position. He leads Roma over to his corner where Ultimo Chocula has climbed back up onto the ring apron. He tags in Chocula, who casually climbs into the ring and grabs the semi-conscious Paul Roma. He flashes a thumbs up sign to Billy, who gets down on one knee. Chocula lifts up Roma and brings him down across Billy's extended knee for the "Abdominizer!" Billy slides Roma off his knee and onto his back. Chocula puts one foot onto Roma's chest for the cover and strikes a Hulk Hogan-like pose. Jim Powers comes into the ring to break things up, but Billy cuts him off with a flying forearm smash as the ref makes the count.)
1.......2........3!
*Bell Rings!*
*ANNOUNCER*: Here are your winners and STILL E.W.T. Tag-Team Champions.... The Handsome Boys Modeling School!
(The ref tries to hand Chocula and Billy their belts. Chocula, however, pushes him aside. He grabs Jim Powers off the ground, kicks him in the stomach, and then nails him with "The Sugar Fix." The crowd roars with disapproval as Billy and Chocula look around at their two dismantled opponents. They both start laughing as the ref finally hands them their belts. They hold the belts over their heads for a couple seconds before finally exiting the ring. There, they are met by Moniqua and Fru-Fru. She hands Billy back his coat and gives Chocula a cigar as the three make their way back down the asile. As they do so, the scene fades to black.)
************* COMMERCIAL *************
(Image of a video game box pops onto the screen. It features the character Donkey Kong with gray hair and a walker in front of him.)
*ANNOUNCER*: Get your GameCubes ready! Its time to play "Donkey Kong Country - #89!"
(Image of the game being played features Donkey Kong hobbling along a beaten jungle path. He comes to an enemy and tries to throw a banana at it, but can't throw it even past his walker.)
*ANNOUNCER*: Help guide Donkey Kong fight his enemies and take controll of the jungle for the one-millionth time, and get to the post office so he can get his social security check. Just don't have him work too hard at it or else his pacemaker will give out.
(Image appears on the screen of Donkey Kong attempting to throw another banana. Suddenly, he grabs at his chest and falls over as he has a heart attack.)
*ANNOUNCER*: Give Donkey Kong more power, not with bananas, but with fiber pills, stool softeners, and bottles of Geritol Complete!
(Image appears on the screen of Donkey Kong using an inhaler to help catch is breath.)
*ANNOUNCER*: This game is loads of fun for the whole family. We know this because we've been milking the Mario/Donkey Kong series since the mid-80's like the cash cow that it is. And even though adults who grew up on Donkey Kong are sick of what we did to the characters, we keep making more because KIDS LOVE THEM... and we're rolling in the dough because of it!
(Image of game box appears on screen one more time.)
*ANNOUNCER*: You can buy "Donkey Kong Country - #89" for your Nintendo GameCube for the outragous price of only $59.99! Kids nag your parents until they shell out the cash for this game that you'll surely be disappointed in, but won't admit that to your parents because you'll look like stupid brats.
(Image of Donkey Kong appears on screen as he prepares to get a prostate screening from his doctor. Donkey Kong is hunched over a table wearing a gown with a worried look on his face, while the doctor stands behind him putting on a glove.)
*ANNOUNCER*: Its over-priced, but still a lot of fun! Its Donkey Kong Country - #89! Don't be the last person on your block to get scammed! Buy your's today!
|
|